The Best 86 Coworker Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Coworker jokes. There are some coworker housemate jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these coworker annoying coworker puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Coworker Jokes and Puns

I got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.

The other day, I finally asked my pretty amputee coworker out.

She didn't answer, I guess she was stumped.

New Earring

John is at work one day when he notices that his
co-worker, Zach, is wearing an earring.

This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion".

"Hey Zach" he yells out "I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal out of it, ..it's only an
earring." Says Zach sheepishly.

"No really," probes John, "How long have you been wearing one?"

... "Ever since my wife found it in our bed."

Coworker joke, New Earring

Hair Fragrance

Every day at the office, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "So what's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."

Need a Break!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"

I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office....

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?"

He replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"


Accidentally told a joke at work today

Lost a bet and had to grow a mustache.

Co-worker: "Hey booskadoo247, how do you like your mustache?"

booskado247: "It's growing on me."

Accidental Comedian strikes again!

My jewish co-worker told me this one

What did the pedophile jew tell the kid? "wanna buy candy?"

Coworker joke, My jewish co-worker told me this one

How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?

**One.**

**Germans are very efficient and not very funny.**

*Source: My co-worker.*

*I'm German and I approve this message.*

My Life Sucks...

...I'm 22 years old and the only job I've had so far was working in fast food. My co-worker hates me and has tried to kill me. Also I have no friends except a southern girl I like and my other friend who only hangs out with me because he is mental. I have to ride my bike everywhere because I can never get my drivers license. And the worst part is, I live in a pineapple.ο»Ώ

What did the cannibal say to his co-worker?

You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner.

My co-worker doesn't like me, because he thinks I'm condescending.

(That means I talk down to people.)

You can explore coworker employe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean coworker homophone dad jokes. There are also coworker puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How do you cure a mute coworker?

Tell them a secret

My coworker was eating an ice cream cone on her lunch break when she caught me staring at her

"Hey what's up?" she said

"Oh nothing.. It's just that I want to ask for something but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand me." I replied

"Haha don't worry, I won't." She said reassuringly

"I wanna lick it." I said

She quickly extends the ice cream cone to me, to which I said:

"I knew you'd misunderstand."

Coworker gave the best accidental joke after mentioning why she liked Algebra.

"I love solving for X, and I don't even know why!"

Today I pulled the dad jokes of all dad jokes.

At work, my coworker complained of ear pain. He asked me to look for a bump, so I looked.

Then, I said, "oh I know what's causing the pain!" He asked what it was, and I pulled a quarter from his ear..

I should be ashamed.

I just overheard a co-worker announce she got tickets to a Nickelback concert.

That's all, she was completely serious.

Coworker joke, I just overheard a co-worker announce she got tickets to a Nickelback concert.

What's an Australian Kiss?

A French kiss down under ;)

*first post here, a coworker of mine told me the joke. Go easy :)*

A coworker asked me if I would please quit loudly singing along with my Oasis mix tape this morning.

I said maybe...

I saw an old coworker yesterday.

I asked him, "How's the ol' factory?" He told me it smells.


What is the longest word in the English language?

Smiles.

Because it's two S's with a mile in between.

(My 60 year old co-worker just told me that joke)

A programmer tells a coworker that his wife just had a baby

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Yes."

My co-worker is getting married today, 2/29/2016.

He figured this way he would only have to celebrate his wedding anniversary once every four years.

Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work

don't worry, he's fully recovered

With elections coming soon, my coworker asked me who my favorite president was.

I said JFK, because he's so open-minded.

A news reporter introduces his new co-worker on air

This Justin

office joke

It's amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, You look so gorgeous, I didn't recognize you.

I told my black coworker that I like to go to sleep listening to white noise. He said "Why does it gotta be white noise with you people?"

I said because I can't go to sleep listening to rap music and gunshots.

A co-worker found out I'm 'semi-retired.' "What's that like?" he asked.

"It's like being semi-erect. It ain't too hard, but you still can't do what you want."

Original content, as far as I know. I actually said this at work today. We laughed and laughed. Then I cried a little.

What's better than roses on a piano...

Tulips on an organ.

Let me know if you get it. I'm not gonna lie it took me a couple minutes when a co-worker told me this. Creds: J-mans old man.

A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said "Free Candy" on the side.

I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet.

A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee...

That wasn't even a real superlative. I swear, this guy...

A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.

I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.

'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'

'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.

'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.

'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a piss'.

A hiring manager had a stack of resumes, took half, and threw them in the trash...

Coworker asks, "what are you doing!?!"

HR Manager said, "I don't like to hire unlucky people."

Told an inmate to have a safe drive home.

I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:

Inmate: "drive home safe"
Me: "yeah you too..."
Me: (thinking "oops, ouch")
Coworker: "Muahahaha"
Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making farting engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad"
Me and my coworker burst out laughing

The Perfect Man

So one day, a man is sitting at work with his co-worker:

Man: I'm really happy with life right now. Kids are doing great in school, wife loves me and puts out every night, and my doctor says I'm the picture of perfect health.

Co-worker: Wow! That sounds so great! Is there anything wrong with you?

Man: Well my therapist says I'm a compulsive liar, but what does she know?

Leaving work, my coworker said, "Hasta lasagna!"

I replied, "Pasta la vista!"

My co-worker always tells me: "I see dead people"

And I always tell him: "Shut up, Steven, we're morticians."

Turns out my co-worker and I are getting our teeth checked the same day

Isn't that coinciDENTAL?

I'll see myself out

My very conservative coworker told me about the first time he had sex...

[to view this body of this joke, please upgrade to the Tier II telecom package]

...and I'll never think of jesus the same way again.

I'm going on holiday to Egypt. A coworker told me it can get up to 100 degrees in the shade...

...I'll be staying out of the shade then.

Turns out my coworker and I share the same fetish

i quickly realized though we got off on the wrong foot

Since Trump nicknamed Kim Jun-Un Rocket Man, when Christmas comes along..

he can call him missile toe.

Joke originally told by my coworker today, who is a master of puns.

Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"

"Your parents when you move out."

What's the definition of irony? (This happened to me today)

Asked a transgender co-worker why he won't upgrade from Windows 7 to 10.

He said he didn't like change.

I saw my coworker get crushed by glass.

It looked very paneful.

Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore.

She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy.

The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"

"It's Bruce. The dwarf."

Had my medical license revoked today.

Being a medical professional is like being in a minefield. All it takes is one mistep and you can lose it all. I made a one-time mistake and slept with a patient. A co-worker heard her passionate crys and came to find us in the act. Embarrassing be as it was, I never expected to be the end of my career.

12 years wasted as a veterinarian.

My co-workers are like my Christmas lights…

Half of them don't work and the other half aren't that bright.

A Walmart pharmacist walks in to relieve her co-worker and sees a man leaning against the shelves.

She asks her co-worker , "What's with that guy over there leaning against the shelves?" He says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. We're out of cough syrup, so I gave him a whole bottle of laxative."
"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

To the coworker that stole my copy of Microsoft Office...

I will find you. I will get it back.

You have my Word.

I was just fired from my job for telling a female co-worker the her hair smelled great.

I think they are discriminating against me because I'm a midget.

A coworker is showing a new hire around.

A coworker is showing the latest company hire around the office. How long have you worked here? the new hire asks.
Ever since they threatened to fire me, the coworker answers.

Courtyard

My coworker wouldn't shut up about the hotel he stayed at

I told him if you love it so much, why don't you Marriot?

One of my coworkers is always bragging about how much oral sex she gets.

She really likes to rub peoples' noses in it.

A joke a coworker told me today: What do you get when you combine a cow, a duck, a piece of wood, and a rhino?

Cow the duck wood rhino?

So my coworkers and I were sent to "sensitivity training"

The lady running it said, "you have to use the right words to refer to people, because you don't want to offend them. Instead of 'policeman', say 'police officer'. Instead of 'fireman' say 'firefighter'. Don't say 'chairman', say 'chairperson'."

"Um, excuse me," I said, "I think they prefer to be called people with disabilities'."

My coworker asked me if I wanted to crack open a cold one after work.

And that's how I learned he was a necrophiliac.

My co-worker takes a small blue pill with his coffee every day at 8am

He's likes to work hard in the mornings

I think of my co-workers as a second family

Because I didn't get to choose any and I hate them

My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."

"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."

"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had sex with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."

"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."

My coworker Jim sits next to another coworker, Collin. One day, Jim replaced the nametag on his cubicle to also say Collin

I asked him, "Jim, your name isn't Collin. What's going on?"

He replied, "We're trying to Collin-ize the area."

(True story)

My coworker asked if I liked bread

Honestly, it's my yeast favourite thing.

After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt.

Turns out she felt the same way. So I turned the airconditioning on.

My coworker was noodling on an idea

So I offered her a penne for her thoughts

I was just fired today, simply for telling my co-worker that her hair smelled nice.

I think they are discriminating against me for being a midget.

I just found out a coworker was just pretending to be my friend.

He was a placebro.

Me: "Do you shower after sex?"

Coworker: "Yes."

Me: "Then you should get laid more often."

Movie idea

There should be a hostage movie where instead of holding up a bank or skyscraper, the bad guy is a coworker who keeps asking questions at the end of a meeting.

Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?

The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.

An attractive co-worker that I've been working with for 3 years confessed to me today, but I rejected her.

One way to spot a woman with low standards is when they start liking me.

In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me...

"Because they make the toys."

Me and a coworker were talking behind our boss' back.

When she found out she came up to us and said : "You disgust me".

And I said : "Yes, yes we did".

If my coworker had a dollar for every time i made a sexist joke...

She would have Β’0.77

Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine

He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?

The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.

If professionals make difficult tasks look easy, what do you call someone who makes easy tasks look difficult?

A coworker

My co-worker disagreed when I said Median is the best average

He's a mean person!

I farted at work the other day..

then my coworker started trying to open the window. It must have been a really bad one β€” we work on a submarine.

My coworker is convinced that the government has implanted a microchip in his brain, and is controlling his thoughts.

I told him it's all in his head.

A co-worker asked me "How's it going?"

Me: "I can't complain."
Coworker: "Hey it's great you're having a good day!"
Me: "No I mean I literally can't complain. HR said it's affecting morale."

"Zoom meetings" is a stupid name, and it's branded. We should call it a bit more casual like "coworker video chat"...

Or something shorter, like "co-vid".

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime.

My coworker makes pennies.

We work at a mint.

After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt

She felt the same way

So I turned on the air conditioner

My coworker keeps farting and trying to convince me that it was me who did it.

I think he's asslighting me.

Coworker: Long day, huh?

Me: *looks at calendar* The longest.

There was a cartographer that groped his coworker

No sense of boundaries

I was considering telling a vaccine joke to a right wing coworker of mine

but didn't because he probably wouldn't get it anyways.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the coworker cubicle jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working coworker managers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes