Coworker Jokes
105 coworker jokes and hilarious coworker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about coworker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find hilarious and hilarious coworker jokes to make the work space a lighter and brighter place. From coworker roast to birthday jokes to retirement jokes and more - there's something for any occasion. Let your coworkers know you've got their back with a practical joke or two. Make it even more special by adding felt to show your appreciation. All of this and more - great for coworkers or roommates.
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Funniest Coworker Short Jokes
Short coworker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The coworker humour may include short co worker jokes also.
- A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp.
- My coworker just found out she won't be able to attend next week's Innuendo Conference… I guess I'll have to fill her slot instead.
- After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt. Turns out she felt the same way. So I turned the airconditioning on.
- My coworkers laugh at my jokes in in-person meetings, but never in online meetings. When I asked them why, they said that my jokes weren't remotely funny.
- After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt She felt the same way
So I turned on the air conditioner - Turns out my co-worker and I are getting our teeth checked the same day Isn't that coinciDENTAL?
I'll see myself out - My co-worker doesn't like me, because he thinks I'm condescending. (That means I talk down to people.)
- A hiring manager had a stack of resumes, took half, and threw them in the trash... Coworker asks, "what are you doing!?!"
HR Manager said, "I don't like to hire unlucky people." - I asked my coworker what happens when we die? "They hire someone else," my coworker replied.
- I was just fired today, simply for telling my co-worker that her hair smelled nice. I think they are discriminating against me for being a midget.
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Coworker One Liners
Which coworker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with coworker? I can suggest the ones about work colleague and colleague.
- What do you call your co-workers in a boring and depressing workplace? Melancolleague(s)
- My boss told me I intimidate my coworkers So I just stared at him until he apologized.
- TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich instead of mine. oops wrong sub.
- I've started saying mucho to all of my Mexican coworkers. It means a lot to them.
- David was hard at work... it was really quite awkward for his coworkers.
- If my coworker had a dollar for every time i made a sexist joke... She would have ¢0.77
- Drugs are a lot like my coworkers My wife does most of them
- Told my co-workers this joke about mandatory meetings. You really had to be there.
- My co-worker disagreed when I said Median is the best average He's a mean person!
- How do you cure a mute coworker? Tell them a secret
- Just played Uno with my Mexican co-workers... ...they stole all the green cards.
- My boss says I intimidate my coworkers I just stared at him until he said he was sorry.
- Half my coworkers are imposters They pretend to do the tasks and sabotage everything.
- Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. My coworker makes pennies.
We work at a mint. - I just found out a coworker was just pretending to be my friend. He was a placebro.
Coworker Leaving Jokes
Here is a list of funny coworker leaving jokes and even better coworker leaving puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Leaving work, my coworker said, "Hasta lasagna!" I replied, "Pasta la vista!"
- paid a compliment By a coworker, "every time I talk to you, I leave a smarter man."
I asked where he left him. - At a previous job, one of my coworkers would always threaten to leave and just blow glass for a living. My boss would always respond: I'm gonna change my name to Glass.
Coworker Retirement Jokes
Here is a list of funny coworker retirement jokes and even better coworker retirement puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My coworker, Kelvin, recently retired from the weather station and was replaced by a new guy named Celsius He's the new temp.
- A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp.
- After seeing a co-worker win the Powerball, my retirement plan has changed. It's back to $20 million.
- A coworker of mine, Celsuis recently retired. The company hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp!
Hilarious Fun Coworker Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about coworker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean classmate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make coworker pranks.
Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of s**... assault
After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been f**... them for decades.
Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this a**.... Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.
I got fired from the s**... bank yesterday
Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.
New Earring
John is at work one day when he notices that his
co-worker, Zach, is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion".
"Hey Zach" he yells out "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal out of it, ..it's only an
earring." Says Zach sheepishly.
"No really," probes John, "How long have you been wearing one?"
... "Ever since my wife found it in our bed."
Two women are talking and the conversation veers towards work...
One of them says to the other:
"Work is great! The jobs are challenging, my coworkers are supportive and the pay is phenomenal. But there is one problem. The mail boy is constantly flirting with me and its borderline harrasment now."
"Well, what did he say?"
"Its just the one thing, everytime he passes by me he compliments me on how wonderful my hair smells."
"That doesnt sound too bad."
"Yeah, but hes a dwarf!"
Hair Fragrance
Every day at the office, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and states that she wants to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled by this decision and asks, "So what's s**... threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
Need a Break!
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?"
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."
I jumped down and walked out of the office....
When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?"
He replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"
How many Germans does it take to screw in a Lightbulb?
**One.**
**Germans are very efficient and not very funny.**
*Source: My co-worker.*
*I'm German and I approve this message.*
Today I pulled the dad jokes of all dad jokes.
At work, my coworker complained of ear pain. He asked me to look for a bump, so I looked.
Then, I said, "oh I know what's causing the pain!" He asked what it was, and I pulled a quarter from his ear..
I should be ashamed.
I just overheard a co-worker announce she got tickets to a Nickelback concert.
That's all, she was completely serious.
A programmer tells a coworker that his wife just had a baby
"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Yes."
Why I won't carpool.
I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work
don't worry, he's fully recovered
My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.
I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
A BLONDE'S THEFT
A blonde goes to the library to get a book. A few days later, she comes back and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."
The librarian says to her coworkers, "So here's the person who took our phone book!"
A co-worker found out I'm 'semi-retired.' "What's that like?" he asked.
"It's like being semi-e**.... It ain't too hard, but you still can't do what you want."
Original content, as far as I know. I actually said this at work today. We laughed and laughed. Then I cried a little.
A Guinness brewery worker travels to the home of his co-worker with bad news.
I'm sorry Mary, but Keith died at the brewery today'.
'Oh my god!' replied Mary, 'What happened?!'
'He drown in a vat of Guinness Stout' said the worker, sadly.
'That's terrible! Was it a quick death at least?' asked Mary.
'I'm afraid not,' the worker replied, 'He got out twice to take a p**...'.
Told an inmate to have a safe drive home.
I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:
Inmate: "drive home safe"
Me: "yeah you too..."
Me: (thinking "oops, ouch")
Coworker: "Muahahaha"
Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making f**... engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad"
Me and my coworker burst out laughing
My very conservative coworker told me about the first time he had s**......
[to view this body of this joke, please upgrade to the Tier II telecom package]
...and I'll never think of jesus the same way again.
I'm going on holiday to Egypt. A coworker told me it can get up to 100 degrees in the shade...
...I'll be staying out of the shade then.
Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"
"Your parents when you move out."
Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore.
She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against the guy.
The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
"It's Bruce. The dwarf."
Had my medical license revoked today.
Being a medical professional is like being in a minefield. All it takes is one mistep and you can lose it all. I made a one-time mistake and slept with a patient. A co-worker heard her passionate crys and came to find us in the act. Embarrassing be as it was, I never expected to be the end of my career.
12 years wasted as a veterinarian.
My co-workers are like my Christmas lights…
Half of them don't work and the other half aren't that bright.
While planning a potluck at work, one of my coworkers asked if we had any vegans on the team.
I told her probably not. They would have let us know several times by now.
City officials required all their male employees to socialize with male coworkers after work once a week.
They issued a government mandate.
I was just fired from my job for telling a female co-worker the her hair smelled great.
I think they are discriminating against me because I'm a midget.
I genuinely complemented on a coworkers moustache,
Now she's making a big deal with HR about it.
I made a genuine compliment about a co-workers mustache
I don't know why she made such a big deal about it to HR.
One of my coworkers is always bragging about how much o**... s**... she gets.
She really likes to rub peoples' noses in it.
So my coworkers and I were sent to "sensitivity training"
The lady running it said, "you have to use the right words to refer to people, because you don't want to offend them. Instead of 'policeman', say 'police officer'. Instead of 'fireman' say 'firefighter'. Don't say 'chairman', say 'chairperson'."
"Um, excuse me," I said, "I think they prefer to be called people with disabilities'."
My coworker asked me if I wanted to crack open a cold one after work.
And that's how I learned he was a necrophiliac.
My co-worker takes a small blue pill with his coffee every day at 8am
He's likes to work hard in the mornings
I think of my co-workers as a second family
Because I didn't get to choose any and I hate them
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
My coworker Jim sits next to another coworker, Collin. One day, Jim replaced the nametag on his cubicle to also say Collin
I asked him, "Jim, your name isn't Collin. What's going on?"
He replied, "We're trying to Collin-ize the area."
(True story)
Which Roman emperor loved planes the most?
Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooo.
So I hit my coworkers with this one at work today, and they hated it. Never heard it before so not sure if someone else made it up first, but I'm sure you good peoples would know.
Me: "Do you shower after s**...?"
Coworker: "Yes."
Me: "Then you should get laid more often."
I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her…
As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
In an attempt to boost morale, my office threw a 'Christmas in July' event today. I got to talking to my coworker from Beijing and asked him, "Why don't Chinese kids believe in Santa Claus?" He confided in me...
"Because they make the toys."
Husband...Before I die I need to confess something. Wife..Sssshhh now there's nothing to confess everything is all right.
Husband.. No I must die in peace. I slept with your sister your best friend and two of your co-workers.
Wife..I know. That's why I poisoned you. Rest now.
A construction worker named John Smith had an accident at work and died.
His co-workers don't know who is going to tell John's wife that he died.
After a lot of arguing they decide that Jack should bring the news.
After an hour Jack returns with two crates of beer. Everone asks him how he got them.
Jack : I knocked on the door and a woman opened it. I asked: Are you John Smith's widow?
The woman answered : No, I'm his wife!
Jack: You want to bet two crates of beer that you're not?
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine
He inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
If professionals make difficult tasks look easy, what do you call someone who makes easy tasks look difficult?
A coworker
"zoom meetings" is a s**... name, and it's branded. We should call it a bit more casual like "coworker video chat"...
Or something shorter, like "co-vid".
One of my coworkers approached me with a very runny nose.
"I was wondering if you had a Kleenex?"
I said, "Far from it, that's why I left her."
My co-worker told me to retire after this one
My co-worker just bought a new Kia Forte. We were heading to lunch one day and he drove. While in the car I say to him, Man this is a nice car, I was going to ask if I can drive it, but it's not my forte . He usually hates the dad jokes but I got him with that one.
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring...
The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".
The man walks up to him and says,
"I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then asks,
"So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
I told an airplane joke to my co-worker.
Sadly, it flew right over their head. (It wasn't a 9-11 joke, those c**... and burn anyways)
Boebert asked her coworker, "Do you have any kids?" "Yes," she replied. "I have one child that's just under two."
Then Boebert said, "I might be s**..., but I know how many one is."
Who runs mexican Amazon?
Jeff Pesos
It's a silly joke but I thought of it on my own today! I found a 200 peso bill on the ground today and I was saying pesos in different accents out loud with a coworker when the joke popped into my head. I don't think I've heard it anywhere before. After I got home and searched it here I realised it hasn't been told this way on this subreddit yet either. So I'm claiming it as an original joke.
A man walks into a store and he saw a thermos.
The clerk walks up to him and asks, "May I help you with anything?"
"Yea! What is that?"
"Why that's a thermos!"
"What's it do?"
"It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!"
"I'll take it"
The next day the man goes to work carrying this thermos. His co-workers ask him, "What's that!"
"It's a thermos"
"What's it do?"
"It keeps things hot and it keeps things cold!"
"So whatcha got in it?"
"Two popsicles and a cup of coffee."
So it's ok for DC to call a character Black Adam?
But when I call my coworker Black Tony I get called into HR.
My coworkers at my place of work have given me a nickname Mr. Compromise .
It wasn't my first choice, but I guess I'm ok with it.
First attempt at writing a joke!
I started a new job this week.
On my first day it was my co-worker Frank's birthday; we gathered around his desk to sing happy birthday and share a cake.
Just as we finished singing the office door slammed open.
In strides a creature: upper body of a man, lower body of a horse. He screams LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY and proceeds to grab Frank's cake and gallop out of the office with it.
I was dumbfounded but my new colleagues just rolled their eyes: "oh thats just Bill" they said "always the Centaur of attention."
A guy gets into work late one day, clearly upset.
His co-worker asks him Hey Jim, what happened, man? Why are you late?
I got a flat on the way in. Cost me at least an hour dealing with it, Jim grumbles.
How'd you get a flat?
Eh, I ran over a bottle in the middle of a crosswalk.
In the middle of a crosswalk? Didn't you see it?
Nah - d**... kid had it under his coat.
A librarian ranked all of their coworkers and regular visitors by attractiveness…
A Do Me Decimal System, if you will.
Saw Mill Accident
Two coworkers at the saw mill witness a horrible accident that claims the life of their friend Earl. They decide their first course of action would be to inform Earl's wife, who neither of them have ever met. Ultimately, the first worker says he'll go.
About ten minutes later, he returns with a six pack of beer that he claims to have gotten from Earl's wife. In order to explain this, he describes what happened at Earl's house.
"Are you Earl's widow?"
"I'm not a widow."
"Really? You wanna bet a six pack of beer on that?"
A woman is swiping through Tinder at work, and her co-worker say, "Honey, you ain't never gonna find your husband on Tinder."
"You may be right," she replied. "I found yours, though."
