Cowork Jokes
108 cowork jokes and hilarious cowork puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cowork that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Cowork Short Jokes
Short cowork jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cowork humour may include short colleague jokes also.
- A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp.
- My coworker just found out she won't be able to attend next week's Innuendo Conference… I guess I'll have to fill her slot instead.
- After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt. Turns out she felt the same way. So I turned the airconditioning on.
- Turns out my co-worker and I are getting our teeth checked the same day Isn't that coinciDENTAL?
I'll see myself out - My co-worker doesn't like me, because he thinks I'm condescending. (That means I talk down to people.)
- I asked my coworker what happens when we die? "They hire someone else," my coworker replied.
- I was just fired today, simply for telling my co-worker that her hair smelled nice. I think they are discriminating against me for being a midget.
- If professionals make difficult tasks look easy, what do you call someone who makes easy tasks look difficult? A coworker
- Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work don't worry, he's fully recovered
- A woman is swiping through Tinder at work, and her co-worker say, "Honey, you ain't never gonna find your husband on Tinder." "You may be right," she replied. "I found yours, though."
Share These Cowork Jokes With Friends
Cowork One Liners
Which cowork one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cowork? I can suggest the ones about employer and status.
- What do you call your co-workers in a boring and depressing workplace? Melancolleague(s)
- My boss told me I intimidate my coworkers So I just stared at him until he apologized.
- TIFU by eating my coworkers sandwich instead of mine. oops wrong sub.
- I've started saying mucho to all of my Mexican coworkers. It means a lot to them.
- David was hard at work... it was really quite awkward for his coworkers.
- If my coworker had a dollar for every time i made a sexist joke... She would have ¢0.77
- Drugs are a lot like my coworkers My wife does most of them
- Told my co-workers this joke about mandatory meetings. You really had to be there.
- My co-worker disagreed when I said Median is the best average He's a mean person!
- How do you cure a mute coworker? Tell them a secret
- Just played Uno with my Mexican co-workers... ...they stole all the green cards.
- Half my coworkers are imposters They pretend to do the tasks and sabotage everything.
- Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. My coworker makes pennies.
We work at a mint. - I just found out a coworker was just pretending to be my friend. He was a placebro.
- There was a cartographer that groped his coworker No sense of boundaries
The Funniest Cowork Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about cowork you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roommate jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cowork pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My coworker just told me this one..
Did I ever tell you about the time my friend went to the store and got charged wrong? She tells the cashier the price is different and the cashier gets on the store intercom, "Come in l**.... Come in l**...."
This one got my coworkers
The stewardess on my flight asked me what snack I would like.
I told her "The plain chips would be fine.
She says "They are all plane chips, sir."
My coworker asked me what I'd bring to our Halloween potluck...
She told me anything would be good besides dessert because everyone was bringing some. I told her I already had cookies in mind and she shot it down instantly asking instead that I bring an entre. So I turned around with a straight face and replied "But cookies are on trays."
It's my coworkers last day...
A coworker is leaving this weekend to become a firefighter. We're throwing him a farewell party and want to have a funny pun written on the wall. Something like "seeing you leave really blows" but instead have it somehow relate to becoming a firefighter.
I know you guys can help us out. Thanks!
My co-worker just dropped this on me, thought I share. What word starts with N and ends with R and you never want to call a black guy?
Neighbor
So a coworker of mine made a joke about midgets going extinct. And I was offended!
Because there is nothing funny about a midget shortage.
My coworker was eating an ice cream cone on her lunch break when she caught me staring at her
"Hey what's up?" she said
"Oh nothing.. It's just that I want to ask for something but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand me." I replied
"Haha don't worry, I won't." She said reassuringly
"I wanna lick it." I said
She quickly extends the ice cream cone to me, to which I said:
"I knew you'd misunderstand."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My coworker is a Mexican electrical engineer…
total ohm-bre.
Coworker gave the best accidental joke after mentioning why she liked Algebra.
"I love solving for X, and I don't even know why!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My coworker asked if I had any nuts. I offered grapes and they turned me down...
Then I said, "You're nuts to pass up a grape deal like that!"
My coworker got third-degree burns on his tongue.
I was going to make a joke about it, but decided it would be in poor taste.
I have a new co-worker, who only has seven toes. I instantly hated him.
Turns out I'm lack toes intolerant.
My coworker couldn't decide which grandparents should be her 2 children's legal guardians, so I said to split them up.
Then you only have to decide who gets the top half, who gets the bottom.
I have a coworker whose humour gets drier
...as he gets more dehydrated.
(True story)
A coworker asked me if I would please quit loudly singing along with my Oasis mix tape this morning.
I said maybe...
I saw an old coworker yesterday.
I asked him, "How's the ol' factory?" He told me it smells.
My coworker complained about our David Bowie tribute music recently...
...he complained that after Lemmy's death we didn't have any tribute music. I pointed out that would be slightly inappropriate, as Lemmy wrote about taking drugs and blacking out, whilst David Bowie wrote whilst taking drugs and blacking out.
My co-worker is getting married today, 2/29/2016.
He figured this way he would only have to celebrate his wedding anniversary once every four years.
My coworkers and I are trying the new Ethiopian place for lunch. It's called...
Hungry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A co-worker found out I'm 'semi-retired.' "What's that like?" he asked.
"It's like being semi-e**.... It ain't too hard, but you still can't do what you want."
Original content, as far as I know. I actually said this at work today. We laughed and laughed. Then I cried a little.
A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee...
That wasn't even a real superlative. I swear, this guy...
My coworker looked like a nun today
I told her she should break the habit
I want to tell my co-worker that I have really strong feelings for her...
...but I'm afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.
A coworker of mine dated a psychic
He told me she was very unique and well cultured.
I asked if she was a rare medium, well-done?
A coworker and myself had a competition to see who was more sensitive
I was pretty sad I came in second place.
So my coworker is not a native english speaker...
This morning he walked up to me and asked what is with all the news story on Donald Trump contracting aids from Russian agents...
My coworker claimed his computer was slow, so I put an unplugged computer tower next to him. He reported blazing speeds the next day
Sounds like the PC-bo effect to me . . .
My coworker was arguing with me over the tip
He said he take care of it, but I told him I should keep it since I'm the one that did the circumcision.
My 4 coworkers didn't expect me to hate puns.
I told them, "Really though, I; Jenn, Hugh, Juan, Lee, hate puns.
A co-worker grabs the new guy by the arm...
A co-worker grabs the new guy by the arm and insists that he join everyone for beers.
New guy looks at him, and tells him, my Faith doesn't allow me to drink.
Why the co-worker asks, are you muslim?
No, my wife, Faith, she punches above her weight.
Coworker: Have you heard me when I sound hoarse?
Me: Neigh
A coworker has a cold so he took out a pack of Fisherman's Friend. I told that that's what I need
He said "Why, do you have a cold too?"
I replied "No, just lonely."
A co-worker was bragging that her boyfriend was taking her to Monaco to see the Grand Prix.
I said, "Sorry to disappoint you, but it's not actually pronounced that way..."
My co-worker always tells me: "I see dead people"
And I always tell him: "Shut up, Steven, we're morticians."
My Coworker Dropped A Plate Today
The poor thing. It must be shattered.
Co-worker asked me, "If Batman, who is a regular human but with gadgets, teamed up with Superman, who has supernatural powers, and they fought against Iron Man, another regular human with gadgets, who teamed up with Thor, who has super powers, who would be the winners?"
"Your parents when you move out."
My coworker asked me why all the Plan B pills kept getting stolen
I told her it was probably because they were easier to steal than vacuums
All of my coworkers seem to have large blisters on their skin.
I think it's a staff infection.
My coworkers always complain because I count in binary
I don't see what's so difficult about it, it's as easy as 01 10 11
I saw my coworker get crushed by glass.
It looked very paneful.
My coworker asked me if I could be any more annoying...
So the next day, I wore tap shoes to work.
My co-worker wanted to tell me a joke about compasses and maps the other day...
I told him to wait till after work because the joke was obviously going to be NSEW
My co-workers are like my Christmas lights…
Half of them don't work and the other half aren't that bright.
A coworker claims I always have to one-up his stories.
But I know a guy that one-ups people's stories way more.
My co-worker arrivrd at work and I said "Hi".
He said "Yes, as a matter of fact."
(True story)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
To the coworker that stole my copy of Microsoft Office...
I will find you. I will get it back.
You have my Word.
A coworker made a joke about carbon monoxide poisoning…
I told him it was tasteless
A co-worker invited me to her home for my 10th company anniversary.
She asked me to wait and went into her bedroom. When she called me in, the entire department was there and sang "He's a jolly good fellow." Boy, I'd have been totally off my socks if that wasn't the only thing I still had on.
A coworker is showing a new hire around.
A coworker is showing the latest company hire around the office. How long have you worked here? the new hire asks.
Ever since they threatened to fire me, the coworker answers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me and my coworker was having s**..., until we got caught...
It really ruined the family buisness
My coworker keeps trying to blatantly steal my chair while I'm supposed to be working.
I won't stand for this.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One of my coworkers is always bragging about how much o**... s**... she gets.
She really likes to rub peoples' noses in it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My coworker made a m**... joke that I didn't understand, so I said, "Explain Like I'm 5."
She said, "You'll get it in 8 years."
I met this cowork yesterday
Her name is Arial and I really think she's my type
So my coworkers and I were sent to "sensitivity training"
The lady running it said, "you have to use the right words to refer to people, because you don't want to offend them. Instead of 'policeman', say 'police officer'. Instead of 'fireman' say 'firefighter'. Don't say 'chairman', say 'chairperson'."
"Um, excuse me," I said, "I think they prefer to be called people with disabilities'."
My coworker asked me if I wanted to crack open a cold one after work.
And that's how I learned he was a necrophiliac.
So i have this new coworker, her name is Andrea Morales. I went up to her today and said..
Hey Andrea, you didn't introduced yourself to me, but i figure out ur surname.. more or less..
A coworker of mine went on a nonsensical tirade today about how it was an outrage that he is paid entirely in large amounts of $100 bills.
He makes no cents.
My co-worker takes a small blue pill with his coffee every day at 8am
He's likes to work hard in the mornings
I think of my co-workers as a second family
Because I didn't get to choose any and I hate them
Coworker asked me about my camping trip this past weekend since it stormed.
I won't lie. It was mostly intense.
My coworker Jim sits next to another coworker, Collin. One day, Jim replaced the nametag on his cubicle to also say Collin
I asked him, "Jim, your name isn't Collin. What's going on?"
He replied, "We're trying to Collin-ize the area."
(True story)
My coworker asked if I liked bread
Honestly, it's my yeast favourite thing.
My coworkers at the powerplant have been so confident lately
Must be that Big Duke Energy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the coworker get charged with s**... harassment on Valentine's Day?
Because he had a heart on.
My coworker was noodling on an idea
So I offered her a penne for her thoughts
Me to my coworker
Me:The Eagles won last night
Co Worker: Oh you watched the game
Me: Covered in blood and scratches what game?
My coworkers hate when I joke about an active shooter in the building
That one usually kills.
My co-worker came up to me and said, "hey, you look so unapproachable"
I said, "Then why are you here?"
A coworker asked me my thoughts on Disband the Police ...
I told him I don't really listen to them much, but I enjoyed their album Synchronicity.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My co-worker said short dudes have huge d**...
I told him to pick on someone his own size
Me and a coworker were talking behind our boss' back.
When she found out she came up to us and said : "You disgust me".
And I said : "Yes, yes we did".
My coworker is convinced that the government has implanted a microchip in his brain, and is controlling his thoughts.
I told him it's all in his head.
Coworker: Why do bad guys always wear suspenders?
Me: So they don't get caught with their pants down.
(This happened a couple days ago, I was pretty proud. He legitimately was just asking the question)
A co-worker asked me "How's it going?"
Me: "I can't complain."
Coworker: "Hey it's great you're having a good day!"
Me: "No I mean I literally can't complain. HR said it's affecting morale."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My coworker keeps f**... and trying to convince me that it was me who did it.
I think he's asslighting me.
Coworker: Long day, huh?
Me: *looks at calendar* The longest.
Two coworkers chat in the dining room
A: "Hey, you know what I did the other day? I found the courage to finally walk into the bosses office and assertively ask for a raise."
B:"Wow, really? How did it go?"
A:"We've reached a compromise. My pay doesn't change and in return I can keep my job."
A coworker told me to live every day like it's a brand new year
I said I already do that
I wake up hung over.
I contemplate all the decisions I made the year before.
And I try to make resolutions and I always break them.
