The Best 89 Cowboys Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cowboys jokes. There are some cowboys drawl jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cowboys texas puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cowboys Jokes and Puns

Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One of them sees a tree in the distance that's draped in bacon. "It's a bacon tree! We're saved!" he says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets.

It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

Top 3 lies told by Wyoming cowboys

1) I own this truck.
2) I won this belt buckle in a rodeo.
3) I was just helping that sheep over the fence.

Little boy in custody battle.

Hey mother and father were in a heated custody battle for their son. The judge asks the little boy,"Do you want to go live with your mother?". Little boy replied,"No she beats me." The judge says "Oh,do you want to live with your dad?". Once again the little boy replied " No, he beats me." so the judge asks,"Well who do you want to live with?". Little boy looks at the judge and says, "The Dallas Cowboys they don't beat anybody."

Cowboys joke, Little boy in custody battle.

Why are cowgirls Bowlegged?

Because Cowboys eat with their Hats on.

Why do cowgirls have bow-legs?

Because cowboys always eat with their hats on.


Mans dying wish

Did you hear about the guy whose dying wish was to have Dallas Cowboys as his pall bearers? He wanted to give them the chance to let him down one last time.

What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl?

The Dallas Cowboys

Cowboys joke, What Do you call 20 Millionaires watching the Superbowl?

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

A cowboy, an Indian, and a Muslim are sitting in a bar..

the Indian looks up and with a single tear and says "My people were once many, but now we're few." The Muslim chuckles and says " My people were once few, but now we're many." The cowboy looks up and says "Thats because we haven't played cowboys and Muslims yet."

Two gay cowboys:

"Y'up?"
"Yup."

What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?

The Cowboys suck.

*(I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I don't lack a sense of humor.)*

You can explore cowboys dallas reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cowboys redskins dad jokes. There are also cowboys puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A real cowboy?

An old cowboys goes into a bar, sits down and orders a drink. As he sits there sipping his bourbon, a young lady sits down next to him. She turns to the cowboys and asks "Are you a real cowboy?".

He replies "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences and branding cattle, so I guess I am".

She says "That's cool. I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think about women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women".

The young lady finishes her drink and leaves and soon after a couple sits down next to the cowboy and the man asks him "Are you a real cowboy?".

He replies "Well, I always thought I was but I just found out I'm a lesbian".

I saw this really good movie in a hotel..

There were a lot of gunfights, cowboys, saloons and drinking. It was the Best Western I've ever seen.

How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb?

They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was.

What does the NFL and Broke Back Mountain have in common?

Cowboys that suck.

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.

Cowboys joke, What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

I heard we like Native American jokes.

Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with
his ear to the ground.
One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see
that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground.
He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says,
"about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white.
Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian
knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they
are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a
half hour ago."

Why do cowboys prefer wienie dogs?

So they can get a long little doggie.

Two cowboys are out riding...

Two cowboys are out riding on a dirt trail when they come across a sheep with its head stuck in a fence. The men stop and the first cowboy jumps off his horse and approaches the sheep. He then proceeds to take his pants off and have his way with the sheep. When he is done, the second cowboy jumps off his horse. "My turn!" he exclaims, and sticks his head in the fence.


Why do cowboys always want to die with their boots on?

So they don't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.

Rodeo Position

Two old cowboys are sitting around a campfire and drinking. Somewhat drunk and not in the best frame of mind one turns to the other and say's I miss my missus, but when we make love it's always the same . Somewhat taken aback, but curious nonetheless, the other cowboy asks how's that? We always use the old missionary position the old cowboy replies. Thinking about this the other cowboy says If you want some excitement you need to try the Rodeo position . The cowboy says What's that?
Well you start off doggie style, behind her. Then you lean forward and with your right hand grab her right breast, and with your left hand grab her left breast, with your face beside her head you whisper gently in her ear, Yep feels just like your sister , and then hold on for dear life.

Two cowboys looking at the desert horizon and a bunch of indians appear coming towards them...

-Are they enemies or friends?

-They are obviosly friends, they are coming altogether.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium.

Because they can't catch anything there.

Why aren't the Dallas Cowboys aren't scared about Ebola?

They never catch anything

What's the difference between a cry baby and Dallas Cowboys fans?

Eventually the baby stops crying

What does a Dallas Cowboys fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?

He turns off the PlayStation.

Two cowboys were riding their horses checking a line of fence and came across a calf with her head caught in a hole in the fence.

One of the cowboys got off his horse and looking around, noticed there was no one else around but the two of them. He then dropped his pants and started to have sex with the calf. He then turned to his partner and said " You got to try this." So the other cowboy got off his horse, looked around, then dropped his pants and stuck his head in the fence.

I finally watched Bokeback Mountain...

I learned that when two cowboys go up into the mountains, the sheep have nothing to worry about!

What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout?

High Moon!

The Dallas Cowboys have 6 straight losses

They can't seem to beat anyone unless it is a woman on a pile of guns.

Dallas Cowboys

Why do you have to repeat things you say to Dez Bryant?

He doesn't always catch it the first time.

What is a cowboy's favorite salad dressing?

If you answered "Ranch", you are mistaken...it was a trick question.

Cowboys don't eat salad.

My kids are playing cowboys and Indians.

One is pretending to ride a horse and shoot stuff, the other is providing tech support.

What do you call a loud group of Cowboys?

A Reckon-ing.

When do cowboys smoke?

At high noon.

What do you call a gay bar with cowboys?

Brokeback Fountain.

How cowboys are made

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"Where do Cowboys come from?"

"Well, son. When a cow and a boy love each other very, very much..."

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians

So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

A Texan cowboy was walking down the road

When a little old lady walked up to him and asked, "Are you one of those cowboys every body talks about?"

"Why yes ma'am I am." He replied

"The ones who ride around on horses and herd cattle?" She continued.

"Yes ma'am I am."

"The kind who ties up those calves and brands them?" She inquired

"Yes ma'am I am"

Obviously displeased she scowled at him and said "Well you ought to be hung!"

The cowboy smiled and replied,
"Yes ma'am I am."

You know my favorite thing about the Dallas Cowboys logo?

It's also their rating.

The cowboys play the redskins this year in thanksgiving day.

Just like the first thanksgiving.

How is the NFL like Brokeback Mountain?

The Cowboys suck!

Where do cowboys cook their meals?

On the range

Two cowboys were riding their horses through the plains when they saw an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.

See that Indian? One of the Cowboys said. "He can hear everything that's going on for miles around."
They rode up to him, and the Indian said, "white pickup. Four people in the front, six in the back. Big party."
"Wow" the other cowboy said. "You can tell all that from just listening to the ground?"
"Nah, I fell off the back."

What do the Dallas Cowboys and vaping have in common?

They both can't beat a pack

How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One and they're done.

What's the difference between the Cowboys and the Indians?

One plays football the other plays baseball

Last week, I took a Dallas Cowboys jersey away from my 2-year-old nephew.

It was a choking hazard.

There are these two cowboys herding some Bulls,

One of them accidentally drops his lasso. The other picks it up and asks "Is this your rope?" To which the other replied, "No, this is America."

Why are cowboys bad at being accountants?

Because they always round up.

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Postal Service have in common?

Both, don't deliver on Sundays.

If there are four Dallas Cowboys in a car who's driving?

The county sheriff.

Q: What do Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?

A: Turn off the XBox.

What's the difference between a dollar and the Dallas Cowboys?

A dollar is good for four quarters.

Two gay cowboys..

One says, "yup" and the other says, "yep"

When I was younger, my sister always said she wanted to be in the Dallas Cowboys Cheer Squad.

I always said the same thing, but just meant it in a much different way.

Two cowboys

were riding along when one of them sees something in the distance. He looks through his binoculars and says to his travelling partner:

"Hey, Jim! Two indians are riding towards us!"

"Hmmm, are they friends? Or...enemies?

"Well, Jim...I think they are friends. They are riding together..."

Two cowboys sitting on a fence watching a dog lick his nuts..

One says to the other, "man I wish I could do that" then the other says, "doncha think you should at least pet him first"

Do old cowboys wear boxers or briefs?

Depends.

Two cowboys are riding out when the spot an Indian laying down with his ear to the ground.

Approaching him, one Cowboy says Look here. These Indians can track wagons from miles away. You there, what can you tell about the closest wagon train?

The Indian says Large Conestoga wagon, father, mother, three daughters, headed due west at around two miles per hour .

Wow! Exclaimed the cowboys in unison. You can tell all that by listening to the ground?

Nuh-uh. Ran over me half an hour ago .

If we played cowboys and Indians I wouldn't choose to be on losing team

that would be Sioux side.

Did you hear about the cowboys who deny robbing the glue factory?

They're sticking to their guns.

Why do cowboys eat beans by the campfire?

Because it's kinda chili

The Dallas Cowboys are indeed America's team.

They shut down when it matters most.

Some Chuck Norris jokes here.

Chuck Norris does not eat honey.
- He chews on bees.

Chuck Norris cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.

I saw this great movie while staying at this hotel. It had a ton of gunfights, cowboys, and saloons.

It was The Best Western I've ever seen.

What do you call it after cowboys eat beans at high noon?

A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.

(Don't be mean. Inspired by my 2 month old.)

What do cowboys call midnight

High Moon

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position.

One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girl down on all four, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her t*ts, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.' Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."

How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?

A tractor beam

When do cowboys like to smoke weed?

High noon.

Sports Teams should be named for what their city is famous for

For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing.

Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers."

Two cowboys are lost in a desert. One cowboy sees a tree full of bacon and shouts, It's a bacon tree, we're saved! He runs toward the tree and gets shot.

It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a hambush.

How do German Cowboys greet each other?

Audi.

Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that's draped in bacon. A bacon tree ! We're saved! He says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets.

It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush.

Do you know why cowgirls are bowlegged?

Because cowboys eat with their hats on.

Two cowboys are lost in the desert.

No food or drink. One of them spots a tree draped in bacon! He shouts A bacon tree, we're saved and runs towards it. As he gets closer it shoots him full of bullets.

Turns out it wasn't a bacon tree.

It was a ham bush

Cowboys don't roll joints

They tumble weed

Why do cowgirls walk around bow-legged?

Because cowboys like to eat with their hats on.

Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple Stirrups.

Two cowboys were riding through a canyon and from far off they heard the sound of drumming.

One of them said, "I don't like the sound of those drums." And a distant voice called out "He's not our regular drummer!"

What is the difference between a cowboy and a redneck?

Cowboys ride horses, rednecks ride their cousins.

Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One sees a tree that's draped in bacon. 'A bacon tree, we're saved!' He says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets

It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a ham bush

Two cowboys were wandering the desert, lost and starving.

Finally in the distance they see a tree draped in bacon.

"Look!", says one cowboy. "It's a bacon tree, we're saved!"

As he runs to the tree the second cowboy screams and unloads his revolver onto the tree and screams "That's not a bacon tree you fool, it's a ham bush!"

Tornado warning in Texas...

Everyone evacuate to the Cowboys stadium!

No chance of a touchdown there

Two cowboys facing each other:

- I have the fastest hand in the whole Wild West!

- I have a girlfriend!

What do the Dallas Cowboys and Billy Graham have in common?

They can both make crowds of 100,000 stand up and yell Jesus.

Two cowboys are stranded in the desert...

One cowboy sees a tree covered in bacon in the distance. He gets all excited and runs towards the bacon tree... As he reaches the bacon tree he gets shot to death. It turns out it wasn't a bacon tree... It was a hambush

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cowboys cowboy bashing jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cowboys cowboy and preacher piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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