Cow Udder Jokes
125 cow udder jokes and hilarious cow udder puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cow udder that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cow Udder Short Jokes
Short cow udder jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cow udder humour may include short cows udder jokes also.
- What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
^(I'll show myself out) - I'm just milking it now. Studies show cows produce more Milk when the Farmer talks to them.
It's a case of in one ear and out the udder. - My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior. He was considered to be a danger to himself and udders.
- Cows are amazing Studies show that cows produce more milk when the farmers talk to them.
It's a case of in one ear and out the udder. - Did you hear about the cow who tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster.
- I do not want to hear any more jokes about cows…. I've herd them all so don't udder a single word.
- Did you hear about the fly that entered a cow's ear and ended up in milk pail the next morning? It went into one ear and out the udder.
- What do you call a cow that has gone dry? A milk dud or a udder failure.
- What happened when the cow jumped over the moon? Udder destruction.
I'm sorry, I'll see myself out. - What do you call a cow with one udder? A bull.
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Cow Udder One Liners
Which cow udder one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cow udder? I can suggest the ones about milking cow and bovine cow.
- Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
- What do you call a cow that gives no milk? An udder failure.
- what happened to the cow when it jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction!
- What sound does a cow make when it runs out of milk? None. There is udder silence.
- What do you call a cow that can't produce milk? An udder failure.
- What do you call a cow which can no longer produce milk? An udder failure.
- If a cow doesn't produce milk... Is it a milk dud or an udder failure?
- What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster.
- WHY DO COWS LIE DOWN IN THE RAIN? TO KEEP EACH UDDER DRY.
- Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs? The cow's got the udder.
- How did the cow feel when it couldn't produce milk? Udderly useless.
- What do you call a cow that can't produce milk? Udderly useless.
- Cows milk doesn't just come from one breast They have udders
- So if a cow doesn't produce milk... Is it considered a milk dud or a udder failure
- How do cows forgive each other? They turn the udder cheek.
Giggle-Inducing Cow Udder Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about cow udder you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dairy cow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cow udder pranks.
Q: Why did the cow cross the street? A: To get to the udder side.
Q: Why did the cow cross the street? A: To get to the udder side.
What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
It's a place of udder delight.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
What happened when the cow jumped over a fence?
It was an udder disaster!
How did the cow feel after being diagnosed with breast cancer?
She was in udder disbelief.
What do you call a cow's mate?
Its significant *udder*.
What is the most surprised a cow can be??
UDDERLY SURPRISED!
(
What does a cow call his girlfriend?
His significant udder.
So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence...
It was an udder disaster.
A farmer walks into his barn with a bucket.
He starts milking his cow, while a pesky fly continues to buzz around the cows head. Suddenly the fly goes straight in to the cows ear. The farmer doesn't think much of it, just continues milking, when suddenly it shoots out into the bucket. The farmer, freaked out, exclaimed "it went in one ear and out the udder!"
What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?
Udder Destruction.
I swear this joke is funnier in person.
Try it, trust me.
p**... dropper for sure.
Which cow is the hardest to milk?
The one with only one udder.
I pulled my cow's udder, but nothing came out.
He's a milk dud.
Why was the little piglet suckling on the cow's teet?
He was udderly confused.
A cow walked to the store to buy some milk...
but cows don't have hands so they can't use grocery stores or grab milk in a container. It was an udder failure.
What did the farmer say when he tried to milk the cow, but nothing came out?
"Time to try the udder one."
Did you hear about the cow that jumped over the barbed wired fence?
It was udder catastrophe!
what do cows call their husbands?
significant udders
Why did the cow cross the road
To get to the udder side
What do you call a cow with no n**...?
Udderly pointless
What does a man with a cow under his nose have?
A moostache
(That was udderly terrible)
What did the cow is standing all alone in a field say?
Where are the udders?
(Thanks to my three boys for that one!)
What does a cow say in the winter?
I'm udderly freezing!
Why did Adele crawl under the cow?
...to say hello from the udder side.
I'll take my Oscar now.
Did you hear about the cow that doesn't give any milk?
It's an udder disappointment.
What does one cow call another cow's dairy products?
Butter from another udder
Have you heard the one about the suicidal farmer that liked to mutilate cows?
He was a danger to himself and udders.
I tried crossbreeding my cows.
I was attempting to create a new type of milk that was super sweet.
Instead, none of the cows would even produce milk. It was a complete and udder failure.
Did you hear about the cow who couldn't give milk?
She was an udder disappointment.
Why do cows huddle together when it rains?
To keep each udder dry
Courtesy of my significant other
Did you hear about the lonely cow that joined a dating website?
She was searching for her udder half.
What happens when a Cow tries to jump over a fence?
Udder destruction
What do you call it when a cow breaks the law?
Dis'udder'ly conduct
Did you guys hear about the cow that was able to step over the the electric fence?
No one could believe it, it was an udder shock!
What did one cow say to the udder?
You can't make milk! This is Bull!
What do you call a cow that can't produce milk?
Udder disappointment.
What do you call a cow standing in tall grass?
Udderly tickled.
I'm going to be opening a store that sells cow print socks
One for your left foot, one for the udder
My cow stopped giving milk.
What an udder disappointment.
A cow jumped over a barbed fence
It was udder-destruction
Did you hear about the t**... attack on the dairy / cow farm?
It was an udder disaster.
What did the cow say to Adele as she walked past its field?
Hello from the udder side.
A cow recently submitted a two word theater review...
"Udderly Mooving."
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?
The bull has horns, and the cow is the udder one.
Did you hear about the cow that jumped over the picket fence?
It was an udder disaster!
Edit . Ruined the joke - udder
What does a jihadist cow cause?
Udder Chaos!
Apparently there's a support group for cows who have trouble producing milk.
The cows go, talk about their feelings and build each udder up.
In which world are cows at the top of the food chain?
Well not in this one but maybe in the udder one
How did the dairy cow feel after it couldn't produce any milk?
Completely and udderly betrayed.
Some people think chocolate milk only comes from brown cows.
I guess they think it doesn't come from any udders.
You ever heard of the brown cow that gives chocolate milk?
It's udder b**....
Cows
People who think that cows are bad for the environment have udderly failed in school.
My son asked me "Cows are so big, how do they walk?"
Simple, just put one foot in front of an udder.
Hilarious cow jokes
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
- tri-tip
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
- lean beef
What do you call a cow with 1 leg?
- steak
What do you call a cow with no legs?
- ground beef
What do you call a cow who works out?
- shredded beef
What do you call a m**... cow?
- beef stroganoff
Why does the milk stool only have three legs?
- because the cow has the udder
On which side should you milk a cow
The udder side.
Did you hear about the farmers cow that couldn't be milked?
The cow was an udder disappointment
What did the father cow say to his daughter, when she came home late yet again?
You are an UDDER disappointment to this family young lady!
(I hit the spoiler on my last post, so just decided to remake it, sorry for the double post).
I bought a cow last week...
The old farmer who sold her to disclosed that only 3 out of the 6 teats produced milk. I brought home and went to milking only to find that he lied and not a single t**... produced milk! It was an udder failure.
When a cow doesnt produce milk...
is that an udder failure ?
Two of the cows on our farm will not produce milk
We called the one Milk Dud and the other an Udder Failure
Steer clear if you don't like cow puns
Why are cows the most forgiving animals?
Because forgiveness is bovine.
Alternatively: because they're always ready to turn the udder cheek.
Why is it best to hug a cow right after it eats?
Because then it's extra cuddly.
I knew this guy whose favorite thing was to cover a cow's eyes. He just loved to make them low and behold.
You know what makes cow puns so great?
You can always come up with an udder one.
A cow walks into a milk bar.
and no one uddered a word
How do you know when you can trust a cow?
When you have udder confidence in it.
A milk thief goes into a barn
He finds a suitable cattle, and tries to milk it. Eventually he resorts to s**... on the udder, and eventually gets a spurt of gelatinous, salty milk. The farmer enters to see the man spitting it out, before the man remarks about the disgusting milk.
Farmer hands him a bucket, and points to another heifer. He says
"That's the female cow right there."
