Covid19 Jokes

112 covid19 jokes and hilarious covid19 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about covid19 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Covid19 Short Jokes

Short covid19 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The covid19 humour may include short jokes also.

Trump tests positive for COVID-19. He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.
COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
If this year has taught us anything, it's that donald trump is a regular American citizen He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good. Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.
(Cr
There's a new COVID-19 strain that's causing people to gain massive amounts of weight. The om-nom-nom-icron variant.
I've figured out that the spread of Covid-19 over the past couple years has been due to two factors. 1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.
Why did Dwayne 'the rock' Johnson's family get tested for COVID-19 They couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
Flat earthers are very worried about the COVID-19 pandemic. They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
What's the difference between COVID-19 and your mom? COVID-19 doesn't spread *nearly* as fast.
Can't believe trump tested positive for covid-19 when all he had to do was to not get tested.
>!Man. Woman. TV. Coronavirus.!<

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Covid19 One Liners

Which covid19 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with covid19? I can suggest the ones about and .

Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday The virus is quarantined for two weeks
I'm not sure that Pfizer's Covid-19 vaccine will work, but it's worth a shot.
Why did dracula get tested for covid-19? Because of his coffin
I'm no expert on covid-19 but I do know the cure They are an amazing band from the 80s.
R. Kelly has caught covid-19 though he would prefer covid-15
Why can't ants catch Covid-19? Because they have tiny anty-bodies
Kellyanne Conway did not test positive for Covid-19 She tested alternative-negative
Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19. The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.
Chuck Norris diagnosed with Covid-19 Coronavirus now in quarantine for 14 days
No one in Antarctica has COVID19 Its because they are all Ice-olated
i would say a joke about Covid-19 in 2023... but im getting sick and tired of it!
Why does Antarctica have no Covid-19 cases? Because they're already in ICEolation.
The American COVID-19 response I don't even need to say anything else it's already a joke
Trump is releasing a new book on his COVID-19 experience. Mein Cough
Did you know that ants can't contact COVID-19? Because they have anty bodies.

Covid19 Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about covid19 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make covid19 pranks.

I have read that symptoms of the Covid19 virus can include loss of smell and taste. Well I don't know about your sense of smell....

But judging by your hair and clothes I think you might've had this disease for quite some time.

What's the difference between CoVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet?

One's a Coronavirus, the other is a Verona Crisis.

Experts say Donald Trump been setting an outstanding example during the Covid-19 outbreak

28 consecutive press briefings spent washing his hands

PresidentTrump is completely right about coronavirus treatment.

If you eat chloroquine phosphate, drink a pint of Chlorox, shoot-up rubbing alcohol, shove a flashlight up your a**..., and c**... on a tanning bed, you will never get Covid-19.

The Covid19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

A man takes his wife to get tested

Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.

Please, don't get Covid-19

They are releasing Covid-20 in September and it's much better.

This year was the first year I couldnt travel to Europe because of Covid-19.

Before this I couldnt because I didnt have money.

Did u hear the joke about the cure for covid19?

It's a riot

You may be entitled to...

Has Covid19 forced you to wear glasses & a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation!

Has COVID-19 caused you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

It was revealing when Americans bought toilet paper at the start of the COVID-19 Crisis

It goes to show in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, The Average American only cares about his own a**....

My wife fell in love with me again during covid-19

I guess you could call it stuck-home syndrome

The World Health Organization has officially announced that dogs are not able to contract COVID-19 and have released them all from quarantine.

It's safe to say that WHO let the dogs out.

North Korea is handling Covid surprisingly well

Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,

This week the stat went up to 9/9!

A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.
Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!
Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.

Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.
EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.

These long quarantines have been so difficult for many marriages.

Luckily for me I have an amazing wife. Just last night I woke up to her firmly pressing a pillow against my face to protect me from Covid-19.

A new and easy test for COVID-19

Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.
If you can then you are halfway there.
Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.
I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, as I have a headache, which can also be one of the symptoms!!!

Have you hear about the new Canadian strain of Covid-19?

Most people infected are eh symptomatic.

Since COVID-19, I have the body of a 50 year old, the brain of a 40 year old and the heart of a 25 year old.

All tucked away nicely in my freezer!

Donald Trump is receiving a CoViD-19 briefing in the Oval Office.

The head of the CDC tells the president that today 14 Brazilian people have died from the virus.
Trump shouts Oh my GOD! and slams his head down in his hands on the Resolute Desk. He begins to weep.
After a minute or so, he collects himself, looks up from his desk, and asks his advisors, How many is a 'brazillion?'

The Rock and his family just got diagnosed with Covid-19

No one at his home can smell what he's cooking tonight.

Initially the US was way behind other countries in COVID-19 cases.

Little did those countries know, the US had a Trump card.

COVID-19 home test:

Open a beer and smell it. If you can smell the beer, this is good, as one of the symptoms of COVID-19 is a loss of smell.
Now drink the beer. If you can taste it, this is good, as another symptom of COVID-19 is loss of taste.
I was tested 11 times yesterday, and all tests turned out negative.
I need more testing today, since headache is another potential symptom...

So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for...

So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for Covid-19. It's been kept very, very quiet for security reasons. I received my first shot and wanted to let you know that it's completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

Nearly 200 million Chinese kids are back to school after COVID-19 crisis

Unemployment strike again

President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19

Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.

Donald Trump has tested positive for COVID-19.

Looks like RBG won her first case before God.

They say President Trump first noticed he may have Covid-19

When he couldn't smell the b**... coming out of his own mouth.

Trump must still believe that COVID-19 is a joke.

Because he finally got it.

Yesterday was a terrible day for COVID-19.

It contracted Trump.

Doctors treating President Trump for COVID-19 at Walter Reed Army Hospital in Bethesda, Maryland,report that he is delusional, combative, argumentative, and seems to have lost touch with reality.

It's nice to see that Mr. Trump is feeling his old self.

Rapper Eminem has tested positive for COVID-19

In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was v**... on his sweater already.
Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.

With losing your sense of smell from COVID-19 being a symptom, I no longer call it f**... in a crowded elevator.

I call it a free COVID-19 test

Why did everyone have Covid-19 at the kpop concert?

Because a symptom of Coronavirus is lack of taste.

My s**... life is like COVID-19

I don't have COVID-19

Thanks to COVID-19, this is the first year I've not been able to run the London Marathon owing to lockdown.

Every other year it's been because I'm overweight, can't run, and am too lazy to even try.

Due to COVID-19, The Seven Dwarfs have been restricted to gather in a group of no more than six.

One of them is not Happy.

Wife to husband: Did I get fat during quarantine?

Husband replies: you weren't really that skinny to be begin with!
Time of death: 11:00pm
Cause of death: Covid-19

It took a while for Americans to get COVID-19.

But in China, they got it right off the bat.

The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming numbers...

Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.

Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas.

Luke: How?
Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19.

The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

This is the first year I'm not going to Maldives because of Covid19.

Normally I don't go because I'm poor.

My government is spreading obviously false covid-19 info about x-mas parties

Here in Sweden the government lies and says that we can have Christmas gatherings of up to 8 people without any problems. Such obvious bull! Who knows 8 people without any problems?

Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a f**....

Now, with COVID-19, you f**... to cover up a cough.

Teacher: "Billy, can you give me a sentence with the word contagious in it?"

Billy: "Trump should have responded to the COVID-19 outbreak quickly and decisively but it took the contagious"

A man went to the doctor for a routine checkup

He was generally well, just thought it was a good idea to check in. The doctor, however, immediately reached for the covid swab.
"I'm going to test you for Covid19" the Doctor said.
"But I'm well, no complaints, why would you do that?" Replied the man.
"Well..." The doctor started, his gaze narrowing. "Loss of taste is a known symptom of the virus, and you're wearing Crocs."

A nurse had s**... with the health minister to get a COVID-19 vaccine.

When asked why she did it, she said "It was worth a shot."

Birth rates in Alabama have declined due to COVID19...

... restrictions prohibiting family gatherings.

As his Presidency comes to an end, I think it's important to reflect on the one positive result of Donald Trump's term.

His Covid19 test result.

I've had enough of all the COVID-19 jokes

They are all tasteless

I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.

It was a shot in the dark, but I took it

Glasses wearers are less likely to get Covid-19...

I guess you could say we have nerd immunity.

s**... is like COVID-19

A lot of people got it but I've only heard of it

I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19.

If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.

Scientists have declared that ants are immune to COVID-19....

They think its probably because they have.... anty bodies

WHO and Covid 😛