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Covid Vaccination Jokes

53 covid vaccination jokes and hilarious covid vaccination puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about covid vaccination that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Covid Vaccination Short Jokes

Short covid vaccination jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The covid vaccination humour may include short vaccine jokes also.

  1. One of the side effects of the COVID vaccine is constipation. After getting the first dose, you'll need to wait a few weeks for number 2.
  2. My girlfriend got the COVID vaccine and it seems like the main side effect is... ...that she can't stop talking about getting the COVID vaccine.
  3. Johnson & Johnson have hired eminem as a celebrity spokesperson for their COVID vaccine. Because you only get one shot.
  4. Why I won't take the Covid Vaccine The first smallpox vaccine came out in 1796 and 100% of the recipients are dead.
  5. I tried to apply for a medical exemption for the COVID vaccine. Apparently being a republican isn't an acceptable medical condition.
  6. Dolly Parton has invested $1m in the Moderna covid vaccine It's working 9 to 5 perecent of the time, what a way to keep us living
  7. I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash. It was a shot in the dark, but I took it
  8. My girlfriend is getting the covid vaccine She was worried about bill gates tracking us. I said don't worry, he's been watching us for years anyway through the windows.
  9. Covid vaccine is not safe My friend had gotten both his doses. Still died when he fell off the 19th floor.
  10. SNL Israel jewish joke Israel is reporting that they vaccinated half of their population,
    I’m going to guess it’s the Jewish half !

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Covid Vaccination One Liners

Which covid vaccination one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with covid vaccination? I can suggest the ones about covid test and covid tests.

  1. Eminem isn't allowed to get the full COVID vaccine He only gets one shot
  2. I'm not sure that Pfizer's Covid-19 vaccine will work, but it's worth a shot.
  3. Why do vaccinated people don't appreciate a Covid joke They usually just don't get it
  4. How do you milk a sheep? By inventing the next "covid cure" that's not a vaccine.
  5. Want to hear a Covid-19 joke? If you've been vaccinated, you probably won't get it ...
  6. How many shots do you need to get the covid vaccine? Dose!
  7. Why is Mom's Spaghetti better than the covid vaccine? cuz you only get one shot
  8. Chuck Norris got the COVID vaccine The vaccine is now immune to everything
  9. I tried to tell a covid vaccine joke to some anti-vaxxers... But they didn't get it.
  10. What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say after getting his Covid vaccine shot? I'll be back.
  11. My sister in law got the covid vaccine yesterday. Her 5g reception has never been better
  12. My covid status is like my s**... life I'm vaccinated

Covid Vaccination Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about covid vaccination you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean covid 19 jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make covid vaccination pranks.

Putin just introduced Russia's new COVID-19 vaccine. The good news is that it's 100% effective.

The bad news is that it's Novichok.

So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for...

So I volunteered for the Russian Vaccine Trial for Covid-19. It's been kept very, very quiet for security reasons. I received my first shot and wanted to let you know that it's completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

I bought Pfizer years ago and was so excited to earn millions when they announced their COVID vaccine...

Oops.... Turns out I bought Pfizer Total Landscaping instead. Oh well. Maybe I could rent the place out for a news conference?

Everyone's making a big deal about how the second person to receive the Covid 19 vaccine was named William Shakespeare

But I think it's much ado about nothing.

The good news is that they've started shipping the COVID vaccines.

The bad news is that they are shipping them on the 737 MAX.

I'm getting one of the first covid shots

I got choosen to receive one of the first covid vaccines shots. Since I'm 78yo old Vietnam veteran. I said, "Can I get it in my left arm". They said sure. I said Well good, it got blown off in Vietnam in 68, can you bring me back my West Point ring while your over there.
Edit for grammar.

Walmart

Apparently running around Walmart with an alkaseltzer tab in my mouth yelling, "the COVID vaccine doesn't work" isn't funny?

A nurse had s**... with the health minister to get a COVID-19 vaccine.

When asked why she did it, she said "It was worth a shot."

Covid Vaccine?

Just been up town and there's a bloke near Oxford Circus with a suitcase selling COVID 19 vaccines. £2 each or three for a Pfizer.

I have COVID right now, but you'll never see me taking the vaccine. Here's why:

Every single person that originally took the Small Pox vaccine in 1796 are dead now.

Two white mice chat...

The first one asks: "Did you get the Covid-19 vaccine?"
The second replies: "Hey, I am not crazy they didn't yet finish the tests on humans!"


Vote me down to oblivion but still the answer is 42!

Apple announced that they are releasing a Covid vaccine

It will come in two doses, they'll call it the Steve Jabs

Everyone who gets the COVID vaccine has to get two shots, except Eminem.

He only gets one shot.

My dad's sister is a geriatric nurse.

With Covid her life has been crazy busy over the past year. She has seen far too many patients die. Now that we have the vaccine she's very excited and gets borderline preachy on why we should all get vaccinated. She talks about it non-stop. It's annoying!
It's like she's become Auntie Vaxx!

A friend of mine went to take the vaccine for covid yesterday

After getting vaccinated, his vision was blurred and when he reached home, he called the hospital that gave him the vaccine for advice asking if he should be hospitalized.
The hospital told him to come back and collect his glasses

I got the COVID vaccine but I noticed a weird side effect

Every time I sneeze I hear the Microsoft error sound

Shamelessly copied joke....

Why does covid vaccine have 2 shots?
First is the microchip, second is the battery.

So I got my first covid vaccine shot today

Afterwards, I ran into a friend and told him about it.
He replied: Huh, you took the vaccine shot?
Me: Uhm yes, why wouldn't I?
Him: I thought you were an anti-vaxxer?
Me: What, no. Why would you think that?
Him: Well most morons are...

After a group of scientists invented a tasteless o**... ingestible Covid vaccine they had a meeting to decide which products would be best to put it in to get to finally get to 100% coverage in America.

Ranch dressing will get 98% and Horse dewormer paste to cover the last 2%

I finally convinced my h**... friend to get a Covid vaccination, but he doesn't want Moderna.

He says, just because she sang some good pop songs back in the 80s don't mean she knows how to make a vaccine! .

What do covid 19 vaccine and a new iPhone/smartphone have in common?

Just when you get the latest one, there's a new one you have to get.

Constipation ia a side effect of the covid vaccine

After u take the first dose u will have to wait a few weeks for no. 2

Novak Djokovic says he will skip tournaments rather than get the COVID vaccine.

Do you know why? Because he is Novak.