Covid Tests Jokes
63 covid tests jokes and hilarious covid tests puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about covid tests that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Covid Tests Short Jokes
Short covid tests jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The covid tests humour may include short covid test jokes also.
- Trump tests positive for COVID-19. He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.
- I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83... On the plus side my IQ test came back positive
- Viruses mutate over time, take Covid for example... It started as a pandemic, and now it's become an IQ test.
- A Covid test nurse asked me if I've had a sudden loss of taste. I told her, "No, I've dressed like this for quite a while."
- I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive
- Viruses can mutate over time. Take Covid for example... It started as a pandemic illness and turned into an IQ test.
- Why did Dwayne 'the rock' Johnson's family get tested for COVID-19 They couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
- Can't believe trump tested positive for covid-19 when all he had to do was to not get tested.
>!Man. Woman. TV. Coronavirus.!< - I got my Covid test results back today. It said "50"... what does that even mean?!
Also, my IQ test came back positive.
I'm so confused. - I just got the Mitch Hedberg COVID test. I asked my friend if he knows anyone with COVID.
He said No.
So I know I don't have COVID because he knows me.
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Covid Tests One Liners
Which covid tests one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with covid tests? I can suggest the ones about negative covid test and covid masks.
- Why did the graveyard get a COVID test? Because of all the coffin.
- Why did dracula get tested for covid-19? Because of his coffin
- Kellyanne Conway did not test positive for Covid-19 She tested alternative-negative
- Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19. The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.
- Trump just got tested again, and he's still negative. IQ, not COVID-19.
- What's one thing that turned out positive in 2020? I'll go first: My COVID test.
- If we stop testing right now, we'd have very few cases, if any -POTUS on covid
- Giuliani tested positive for covid-19. Looks like he finally won a case!
- Which test can you pass without studying? COVID-19 test.
Covid Tests Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about covid tests you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean covid 19 jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make covid tests pranks.
Rudy Gobert jokes about Coronavirus
Rudy Gobert tested positive for coronavirus. This brought NBA to a halt. On Monday, he had joked about the virus by touching microphones.
A man takes his wife to get tested
Several days go by, and he receives a call from the doctor.
The doctor tells him, Due to an unfortunate mixup with the lab, we are not sure of your wife has Covid-19 or Alzheimer'
The man, clearly frustrated, asks, Well what am I supposed to do with that kind of information?
The doctor calmly suggests, I recommend you take her for a very long walk and leave her. If she comes home, don't let her in.
Did you hear Stephen Miller's wife tested positive for COVID?
It turns out swallowing vampire is as dangerous as eating bat.
A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.
2 days later he gets a call from the lab.
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.
Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!
Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.
A new and easy test for COVID-19
Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.
If you can then you are halfway there.
Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.
I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, as I have a headache, which can also be one of the symptoms!!!
A man gets sick and, fearing he might have Covid, goes to get tested
When the results of his test come back he gets called in and the person asks him, first, are you a Democrat or Republican?
The man says, what? What does that have to do with anything?
Well, if you're a Democrat you've got Covid. But if you're a Republican it's just a hoax.
I don't understand it. My company told all employees to get tested for COVID-19, and to stay home until they get the test results. I got tested and called my boss to tell him I'm coming back to work on Monday. He asked me if I'm sure my test came back negative.
I told him I was positive. He told me to stay home.
COVID-19 home test:
Open a beer and smell it. If you can smell the beer, this is good, as one of the symptoms of COVID-19 is a loss of smell.
Now drink the beer. If you can taste it, this is good, as another symptom of COVID-19 is loss of taste.
I was tested 11 times yesterday, and all tests turned out negative.
I need more testing today, since headache is another potential symptom...
President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19
Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.
It's unlikely that President Trump truly has COVID...
He's been paying others to take his tests for 65 years.
Donald Trump has tested positive for COVID-19.
Looks like RBG won her first case before God.
In nearly 4 years, finally something positive has finally come out of the White House
Covid-19 tests
Rapper Eminem has tested positive for COVID-19
In a statement released by doctors, it has been been revealed the following symptoms: his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. Not to mention that there was v**... on his sweater already.
Initial testing suggests that the cause is: Mom's Spaghetti.
With losing your sense of smell from COVID-19 being a symptom, I no longer call it f**... in a crowded elevator.
I call it a free COVID-19 test
Trump and Mike Pence are at a Covid press briefing.
Trump and Mike Pence are at a Covid press briefing.
Trump: We have the most cases because we have the most tests. If we tested less, we'd have less cases.
Pence: Fewer.
Trump: Mike, I told you not to call me that in public.
They say there's power in positivity...
...my grandmother's covid test results say otherwise
I tried an At Home Covid Test
Instructions:
1. Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2. If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3. If you can smell it and taste it, this confirms that you don't have the Covid.
Last night, I did the test 19 times and all were negative. Tonight, I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and I feel like I'm coming down with something.
SO happy to announce my mother has tested negative for COVID-19...
Doctor said the breathing issues are only pulmonary fibrosis, a collapsed lung, and stage 4 cancer. Phew!
A man went to the doctor for a routine checkup
He was generally well, just thought it was a good idea to check in. The doctor, however, immediately reached for the covid swab.
"I'm going to test you for Covid19" the Doctor said.
"But I'm well, no complaints, why would you do that?" Replied the man.
"Well..." The doctor started, his gaze narrowing. "Loss of taste is a known symptom of the virus, and you're wearing Crocs."
f**... under the bed sheets is no longer called a dutch oven.
It's now called a covid test. If you can smell it you don't have covid.
How do you pass a test with 0?
When it's a covid-19 test.
(Just had the test and thought this was funny as a teacher. Don't know if it's the stress making me laugh)
A woman goes to the doctor because she suspects she might have covid
She enters the office and while she was in the middle of explaining her symptoms the doctor with a blushed face calls his assistant and asks for a room to admit the woman into the hospital.
The woman surprised says "Are you sure I have covid? It's just a mild cough and I haven't been even tested yet!
To which the doctor replies "Lady I just had finished my lunch and released a huge f**... a second before you came in, if you couldn't smell that I'm not wasting a test"
Two white mice chat...
The first one asks: "Did you get the Covid-19 vaccine?"
The second replies: "Hey, I am not crazy they didn't yet finish the tests on humans!"
Vote me down to oblivion but still the answer is 42!
My friend has tested positive for Covid.
She said that she caught it off of her Cat.
Don't ask "Meow."
Do It Yourself COVID Test
1. Pour a glass of wine and smell it
2. If you can smell it, then taste it
3. If you can both smell it and taste it, you do not have the Covid virus
Just to test it out, I did the test 19 times last evening and, thank God, all the tests were negative. But I'll have to repeat them today, as I woke up with a headache and a bit disoriented this morning.
f**... under the covers is no longer called a Dutch oven...
It's a free Covid test. If you can still smell or taste it, you're negative.
I went to get tested for Covid yesterday
The staff asked me, if I had experienced a sudden lack of taste.
I replied, "no, I dress like this for a while now"
John Travolta tested negative for covid-19 last night...
Turns out it was just Saturday Night Fever...
Viruses mutate over time. Take Covid, for example.
It started out as a pandemic. Now it's an IQ test.
I served a p**... of chili to a table of anti vaxxers and jokingly told them it could double as a covid test.
They thought it was a bit tasteless.
Free Organic Pathologist Test
Go upto a tree and take a leak:
* If pee attracts ants, you've got diabetes.
* If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
* If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
* If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's.
* If you missed the tree, Parkinson's.
* If you peed on your shoes, enlarged prostate.
* If you can't smell it, COVID 19.
If you don't like me...
You should get tested. One of the symptoms of covid is no taste.
I saw this somewhere yesterday and had to share.
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am so nervous.
A man tests positive for Covid, h**..., and monkey pox after trip to Spain.
When asked how his luck could be so bad he said it's contagious
Recent political joke circulating in China
Three men who don't know each other sits in a prison cell. Each explains why he was arrested.
The first man said: I opposed covid testing.
The second man said: I supported covid testing.
The third man said: I administered the covid tests.
After all this time, I still haven't tested positive for Covid…
…wouldn't it be funny if it was just because I wasn't sticking the swab far enough into my ear?
Home Covid Test.
1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.