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Covid Jokes

155 covid jokes and hilarious covid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about covid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Covid Jokes

Short covid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The covid humour may include short jokes also.

  1. Trump tests positive for COVID-19. He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.
  2. COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
  3. If this year has taught us anything, it's that donald trump is a regular American citizen He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
  4. Ever wonder how a Jehovah's Witness spreads their word during Covid? Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
  5. I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83... On the plus side my IQ test came back positive
  6. Chuck Norris coronavirus joke Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
    Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.
  7. I have a joke about the exceptional healthcare and medicine Trump took to recover from COVID. But, no one else would get it.
  8. Viruses mutate over time, take Covid for example... It started as a pandemic, and now it's become an IQ test.
  9. A Covid test nurse asked me if I've had a sudden loss of taste. I told her, "No, I've dressed like this for quite a while."
  10. One of the side effects of the COVID vaccine is constipation. After getting the first dose, you'll need to wait a few weeks for number 2.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about covid can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of covid puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Covid One Liners

Which covid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with covid? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. How do you talk with a COVID denier with an Ouija board
  2. COVID 19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
  3. I like my women how I like my COVID 19, breathtaking, and easy to spread
  4. I like my women like I like COVID 19, breathtaking, and easily spread
  5. Eminem isn't allowed to get the full COVID vaccine He only gets one shot
  6. What do you call a Russian with Covid? Kalashnicough
  7. I could tell you a COVID joke... But it would take 2 weeks to see if you get it.
  8. I had a great joke about COVID... but I don't wanna spread it around.
  9. I'd make a COVID joke. But it would be tasteless.
  10. Why don't The Ants catch COVID? They've got little Antibodies.
  11. Why were the ants unaffected by the covid virus? They have lil anty bodies.
  12. COVID is so bad in India... That i haven't got a scam call in ages
  13. Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday The virus is quarantined for two weeks
  14. They shouldn't have called it zoom Co-vid woulda been a better name
  15. Why is Covid better than Southwest? Because it's airborne.

Covid 19 Jokes

Here is a list of funny covid 19 jokes and even better covid 19 puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Coughy Filter Joke The barista at starbucks was wearing a face mask.
    Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?
    She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter.
  • I like my girls like my covid 19 and easily spread
  • What's the difference between being vegan and having Covid 19? With Covid the loss of taste is only temporary...
  • I thought I had Covid 19 so I decided to give it a go and I injected myself with bleach... Surprisingly I'm all white now.
  • Chuck Norris Covid 19 joke Chuck Norris drinks coronavirus for breakfast.
  • WHO let the dogs out joke. The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
  • Dele Alli joke This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me.
  • If Covid 19 has forced you or a loved one to wear a mask with your glasses, You may be entitled to condensation.
  • I no longer need to wear a mask Now that I have my COVID 19 positive shirt people juts avoid being near me
  • I like my women how I like my Covid... ...19 and easily spread.

Covid Tests Jokes

Here is a list of funny covid tests jokes and even better covid tests puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got my COVID test today, it says 50. What does that mean? Also, my IQ test came back positive
  • Viruses can mutate over time. Take Covid for example... It started as a pandemic illness and turned into an IQ test.
  • Why did Dwayne 'the rock' Johnson's family get tested for COVID-19 They couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
  • Can't believe trump tested positive for covid-19 when all he had to do was to not get tested.
    >!Man. Woman. TV. Coronavirus.!<
  • I got my Covid test results back today. It said "50"... what does that even mean?!
    Also, my IQ test came back positive.
    I'm so confused.
  • Why did the graveyard get a COVID test? Because of all the coffin.
  • I just got the Mitch Hedberg COVID test. I asked my friend if he knows anyone with COVID.
    He said No.
    So I know I don't have COVID because he knows me.
  • Viruses mutate over time. Take Covid, for example. It started out as a pandemic. Now it's an IQ test.
  • Donald Trump has tested positive for COVID-19. Looks like RBG won her first case before God.
  • President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19 Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.

Covid Test Jokes

Here is a list of funny covid test jokes and even better covid test puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did dracula get tested for covid-19? Because of his coffin
  • Kellyanne Conway did not test positive for Covid-19 She tested alternative-negative
  • Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19. The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.
  • I went to get tested for Covid yesterday The staff asked me, if I had experienced a sudden lack of taste.
    I replied, "no, I dress like this for a while now"
  • After all this time, I still haven't tested positive for Covid… …wouldn't it be funny if it was just because I wasn't sticking the swab far enough into my ear?
  • If you don't like me... You should get tested. One of the symptoms of covid is no taste.
    I saw this somewhere yesterday and had to share.
  • Did you hear Stephen Miller's wife tested positive for COVID? It turns out swallowing vampire is as dangerous as eating bat.
  • In nearly 4 years, finally something positive has finally come out of the White House Covid-19 tests
  • Trump just got tested again, and he's still negative. IQ, not COVID-19.
  • It's unlikely that President Trump truly has COVID... He's been paying others to take his tests for 65 years.

Covid Vaccination Jokes

Here is a list of funny covid vaccination jokes and even better covid vaccination puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My girlfriend got the COVID vaccine and it seems like the main side effect is... ...that she can't stop talking about getting the COVID vaccine.
  • I'm not sure that Pfizer's Covid-19 vaccine will work, but it's worth a shot.
  • Johnson & Johnson have hired Eminem as a celebrity spokesperson for their COVID vaccine. Because you only get one shot.
  • Why I won't take the Covid Vaccine The first smallpox vaccine came out in 1796 and 100% of the recipients are dead.
  • I tried to apply for a medical exemption for the COVID vaccine. Apparently being a republican isn't an acceptable medical condition.
  • Why do vaccinated people don't appreciate a Covid joke They usually just don't get it
  • Dolly Parton has invested $1m in the Moderna covid vaccine It's working 9 to 5 perecent of the time, what a way to keep us living
  • I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash. It was a shot in the dark, but I took it
  • My girlfriend is getting the covid vaccine She was worried about bill gates tracking us. I said don't worry, he's been watching us for years anyway through the windows.
  • Covid vaccine is not safe My friend had gotten both his doses. Still died when he fell off the 19th floor.

Covid Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about covid you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make covid prank.

The Covid19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Why is it called a zoom meeting

When it should be a co-vid

Has COVID-19 caused you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

North Korea is handling Covid surprisingly well

Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,

This week the stat went up to 9/9!

Has COVID-19 got you wearing glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.
EDIT (July 14, 2020 7:40PM PST): Um, wow. I did not expect the 2.9K likes, especially since I didn't come up with it. Thanks for the support guys and y'all got me, I read it somewhere else and shared it.

COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman

Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.

How do you know if a vampire has COVID?

He's coffin

Did you hear about the prince who caught Covid from his father?

He was next in line to be Coronated.

The joke industry has been hit particularly hard by Covid

Nobody has walked into a bar in months.

It's finally October, and you know what that means!

Americans might actually start wearing masks.

Trump got COVID...

Well my wife and I don't see eye to eye politically. One was happy, the other worried... you understand. So after much debate, we came to a compromise: we sent him a get well soon card that said stay positive.

Today should be a holiday honoring all the truckers who have kept America going during the Covid epidemic.

A big 10-4, if you will.

If president Trump actually dies from covid you won't see me smiling

Because I will be wearing a mask

Sad news to share: my dad just contracted COVID, and lost his sense of taste.

He's been listening to a lot of Justin Bieber.

Why did everyone have Covid-19 at the KPop concert?

Because a symptom of Coronavirus is lack of taste.

Although COVID spreads mostly through the mouth & nose..

..scientists now conclude the greatest risk comes from a**....

This is the first year I'm not going to travel because of covid

Normally it's because I'm poor

I bought Pfizer years ago and was so excited to earn millions when they announced their COVID vaccine...

Oops.... Turns out I bought Pfizer Total Landscaping instead. Oh well. Maybe I could rent the place out for a news conference?

Americas covid numbers are only because the population is so dense

There are also a lot of people in certain locations

America won the war against COVID the same way they won the war against Vietnam

It got too expensive and they just declared it was over.

If you lose your sense of smell due to Covid, here's a simple fix.

Just reset to olfactory settings.

My girlfriend got covid

This is the perfect time to propose to her. She might just say yes because of the lack of taste.

I was queuing to go into the supermarket when the man in front of me f**....

Before I could say anything, he said, "If you heard anything it means you're not following social distancing. But if you can smell it, luckily for you it means that you're covid negative!"

A Day Off

An man goes to see his boss..
Boss, he says, we're doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow before my mother-in-law arrives for Christmas. My wife needs me to help with cleaning, moving and hauling stuff.
COVID has us short-handed, the boss replies. I can't afford to give anyone a day off.
The man says, Thanks boss, I knew I could count on you!

Brother's acting all high and mighty now that he has COVID

Thinks his s**... don't stink

I tried an At Home Covid Test

Instructions:
1. Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2. If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3. If you can smell it and taste it, this confirms that you don't have the Covid.
Last night, I did the test 19 times and all were negative. Tonight, I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and I feel like I'm coming down with something.

3 months since I had COVID and I've still got very little sense of taste.

Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends

The government announced that because of Covid, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.

Where the h**... am I going to find 5 people without issues?

The CDC warns tomorrow could be one of the worst days ever for Covid.

Because after the inauguration people everywhere will simultaneously exhale.

Do It Yourself COVID Test

1. Pour a glass of wine and smell it
2. If you can smell it, then taste it
3. If you can both smell it and taste it, you do not have the Covid virus

Just to test it out, I did the test 19 times last evening and, thank God, all the tests were negative. But I'll have to repeat them today, as I woke up with a headache and a bit disoriented this morning.

I got kicked out of the hospital

because I told the Covid patients to stay positive

I was kicked out of the COVID ward...

because I told them to stay positive.

d**... girl, do you have Covid?

Because if you're talking to me, then you have no taste.

"Zoom meetings" is a s**... name, and it's branded. We should call it a bit more casual like "coworker video chat"...

Or something shorter, like "co-vid".

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."

Covid restrictions...

I'm down with social distancing, but I think my local grocery store has gone too far.
They've put a big X on the floor to show where to stand in line at the register.
I've seen enough Roadrunner cartoons, I'm not falling for that.

A friend of mine went to take the vaccine for covid yesterday

After getting vaccinated, his vision was blurred and when he reached home, he called the hospital that gave him the vaccine for advice asking if he should be hospitalized.
The hospital told him to come back and collect his glasses

Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously

A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes.

I was eating a steak in my favorite restaurant (pre Covid)

Suddenly, a girl walked towards me and shouted at me: "Enjoying your meat, m**...??"
"Seriously Vanessa, it was 20 years ago and your dad had a knife..."

How long did it take for the first guy to get covid?

He got it right off the bat

I used to make jokes at work during meetings, and I could really get people laughing. Then COVID hit, and all our meetings were online. I'd still make jokes, but no one would laugh...

Not one. At first, I thought it was just because everyone was muted. It turns out, they didn't find me remotely funny.

How will you know if you die of the Delta variant of COVID?

On your way to heaven or wherever, you'll make a stop in Atlanta.
*

Not sure why people are getting grief for using ivermectin to combat covid

The label clearly states it is safe for use in donkeys and jackassess.

Should you take ivermectin for Covid?

Neigh

WHO and Covid 😛

The World Health Organization announced that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

This Facebook & Instagram being down is so frustrating

I had to drive to 30 different peoples houses to find out what they had for dinner and to find out why COVID is fake.

Security Guard : "I'm sorry ma'am.But due to covid regulations, swimming in the hotel pool is prohibited"

Woman : " You could have warned me before I removed the clothes"
Security guard :" Well, there is no prohibition about that".

It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID

none of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently

I really wish people would start taking Covid more seriously...

I don't wanna have to learn the entire Greek alphabet.

John Travolta was admitted to a hospital with COVID symptoms last Sunday.

It was just a Saturday Night Fever.

My sense of humor is a lot like COVID

Tasteless, not good for large groups, and anyone who gets it is pretty sick.

Covid medical "experts" are such liars. They said masks and gloves were all you needed if you had to go shopping

But when I got to the store everyone else had clothes on.

Got accosted by a bunch of guys proclaiming the end is nigh…

First one was positive for covid, the second one had laryngitis, next one a s**...'s cough and the last one had a sore t**...…
I think they were the Four hoarse men of the apocalypse.

There's a new COVID-19 strain that's causing people to gain massive amounts of weight.

The om-nom-nom-icron variant.

Home Covid Test.

1: Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2: If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3: If you can taste it and smell it, this confirms you don't have Covid.
Last night, I did the test 15 times and all were negative. Tonight I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and feeling like I am coming down with something.
I am so nervous.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these covid jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.