Covid 19 Jokes
80 covid 19 jokes and hilarious covid 19 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about covid 19 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Covid 19 Short Jokes
Short covid 19 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The covid 19 humour may include short covid test jokes also.
- Chuck Norris coronavirus joke Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris. - Coughy Filter Joke The barista at starbucks was wearing a face mask.
Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?
She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter. - What's the difference between being vegan and having Covid 19? With Covid the loss of taste is only temporary...
- I thought I had Covid 19 so I decided to give it a go and I injected myself with bleach... Surprisingly I'm all white now.
- Chuck Norris Covid 19 joke Chuck Norris drinks coronavirus for breakfast.
- WHO let the dogs out joke. The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
- If Covid 19 has forced you or a loved one to wear a mask with your glasses, You may be entitled to condensation.
- I no longer need to wear a mask Now that I have my COVID 19 positive shirt people juts avoid being near me
- What do covid 19 vaccine and a new iPhone/smartphone have in common? Just when you get the latest one, there's a new one you have to get.
- Covid Vaccine? Just been up town and there's a bloke near Oxford Circus with a suitcase selling COVID 19 vaccines. £2 each or three for a Pfizer.
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Covid 19 One Liners
Which covid 19 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with covid 19? I can suggest the ones about covid spread and caught covid.
- COVID 19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
- I like my women how I like my COVID 19, breathtaking, and easy to spread
- I like my women like I like COVID 19, breathtaking, and easily spread
- I like my girls like my covid 19 and easily spread
- Dele Alli joke This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me.
- I like my women how I like my Covid... ...19 and easily spread.
- For how long since its discovery has Covid 19 been deadly? From right off the bat.
- Why does Leonardo DiCaprio like Covid? 19 and easy to spread
- I like my girls how I like my Covid. 19 and easily spread.
- Got a Covid 19 joke for ya'll But 99.26 of yall wont get it
- Which composer got the coronavirus? DryCoughsky
- My love for you is like COVID 19 It keeps increasing everyday
- Arizona may be a COVID 19 hot spot... ...but at least its a dry cough.
- This COVID 19 pandemic isn't just mad... It's batshit crazy.
- If covid 19 was a man, he would've finished by now..
Covid 19 Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about covid 19 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean positive covid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make covid 19 pranks.
John Travolta Coronavirus joke
As see on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.
China finally got what they want !
They managed to coronise the world.
I really hope coronavirus can't spread through s**....
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
This Corona virus is a blessing.
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened in my life.
Rudy Gobert jokes about Coronavirus
Rudy Gobert tested positive for coronavirus. This brought NBA to a halt. On Monday, he had joked about the virus by touching microphones.
The coronavirus is a lot like a k**... s**... life.
Don't mind having it, but I'm scared that my parents have it too.
Boris ventilator joke
Boris Johnson joked to senior company bosses that the scheme to build more ventilators in such a short time frame could be called 'Operation Last Gasp'.
Kaceytron coronavirus joke
Q: Would you kiss someone who had the coronavirus disease, COVID-19 ?
Kaceytron: We would leave quarantine, and we would try to spread it as much as possible because the world would be a better place without old and poor people.
Ivor Chestikov joke
The first case for COVID-19 has been confirmed in Russia.
The patients name is Ivor Chestikov.
Man charged with terrorism for covid 19 joke
Man filmed l**... deodorant at Walmart while saying coronavirus:
Trump jokes about models
Donald Trump: The models show hundreds of thousands of people are going to die and you know what I want to do? I want to come way under the model. The professionals did the models and I was never involved in a model. At least this kind of a model.
Boris Johnson coronavirus joke
For those sending around vile jokes about the Prime Minister in ICU... please remember the words of The Queen last night:
I hope in the years to come everyone will be able to take pride in how they responded to this challenge. Show some class.
Do you know how when you go to college you gain the freshman 20lbs?
Well, I've got the COVID 19
I can't believe Comic Con 2020 got cancelled because of covid 19!
It was the one group of people who were 100% guaranteed to wear masks.
The COVID-19
The 19 in COVID-19 must stand for how many pounds we will gain while in quarantine. I feel bad for all the college freshmen out there.
Remember when we worried about the Freshman 15 in college?
Well now it's the *Covid 19.*
Everyone needs to forget China's negligence and address the real cause of covid 19
Violent video games
I just don't understand it when people create puns about Covid 19
Is there some sick joke that I'm not getting here?
As I got out of the time machine in May of 2035, I absolutely couldn't believe what I saw on the front page of the newspapers.
"COVID 19 Lockdown extended three more weeks!"
The Covid 19 Toilet Paper craze was a lot like the Stock Market c**... of 1929
But this time, instead of everyone dumping their stocks, they're stocking for dumps
Covid 19 has been realy stressful for Flat Earthers
They fear that quarantine could push people off the edge
>!I apologize cause I completely ripped this off someone else's twitter!<
so the astronaut Chirstina Kush returned to earth...
After being enclousured 328 days in space now she will be free to... be enclousured in his house. thanks covid 19.
I got fat during shut down.
I put on the Covid 19.
The UK's response to COVID 19 is fairly confused after tonight's announcement.
We don't know our R's from our elbows
Comedians have decided to take covid 19 more seriously
From now on they'll only be telling inside jokes
Give me a chance and i will take your breath away
Covid - 19
Covid 19 and trump
Health secretary in a briefing to Trump: "Sir, in Chennai, India 36 Tamillians have been killed due to Corona Virus"
Trump is silent. His lips quiver. His hands shiver. His eyes wells up. He is unable to speak.
Health secretary is stunned. He never imagined that this event could affect him so badly.
After a few minutes, in a trembling voice, Trump asks "So, how many millions are there in *one tamillion?
Covid-19 walks into a bar
The bartender says - Get out. You're 19, not 21. Everyone walks out of the bar with Covid-19.
Did you all hear the joke about the cure for Covid 19?
It's a riot
It's COVID-19, not CORVID-19. A corvid is of the crow family. 19 crows are not gathering to kill you...
But if they are... its a m**....
Bolsonaro once dated a girl call Covid
it was ok though, she was 19.
Ross Noble Spice girl joke
Why Victoria is the Posh Spice of Australia?
I don't know if you’re across this, but currently the country’s going through what scientists call the Spice Girls paradigm - Said Ross Noble. - Everyone's trying really hard, but Victoria's ruining it.
A couple of good covid jokes I've heard
1. I dont know anything about Coronavirus other than if you have it; you get an undeniable urge to go the airport.
2. By the point most of the world has been exposed to covid 19, but the people in Wuhan got it right of the bat.
3. You know why I think coronavirus wont last for more than a year.
WHY?
coz it's made in China.
4. I dont think anyone saw a worldwide pandemic happening this year. I guess most people don't have 2020 vision.
Why didn't R. Kelly catch Covid?
R. Kelly would have caught Covid if it were younger. But fortunately for him. Covid is 19.
Everyone's making a big deal about how the second person to receive the Covid 19 vaccine was named William Shakespeare
But I think it's much ado about nothing.
I tried an At Home Covid Test
Instructions:
1. Open a can of beer and try to smell it.
2. If you can smell the beer, drink it to see if you can taste it.
3. If you can smell it and taste it, this confirms that you don't have the Covid.
Last night, I did the test 19 times and all were negative. Tonight, I am going to do the test again because this morning I woke up with a headache and I feel like I'm coming down with something.
Do It Yourself COVID Test
1. Pour a glass of wine and smell it
2. If you can smell it, then taste it
3. If you can both smell it and taste it, you do not have the Covid virus
Just to test it out, I did the test 19 times last evening and, thank God, all the tests were negative. But I'll have to repeat them today, as I woke up with a headache and a bit disoriented this morning.
I've just had that dreaded call telling me I have to self isolate!
Apparently my roommates cat has Covid 19!
Don't ask Meow
Wembley Tickets- England v Scotland Friday 18th June 2021 Kick off 8pm
One of my best friends has two spare tickets in a corporate box for the England v Scotland game. They were £300 each but he didn't realise they are on the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding.
If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place!
It is at Manchester registry office at 2pm. The brides name is Nicola, she is 28, 5f 6 tall, a bit of a looker and a good cook.
Free Organic Pathologist Test
Go upto a tree and take a leak:
* If pee attracts ants, you've got diabetes.
* If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
* If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
* If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's.
* If you missed the tree, Parkinson's.
* If you peed on your shoes, enlarged prostate.
* If you can't smell it, COVID 19.