Following is our collection of funny Cover jokes. There are some cover psst jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cover gateau puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
"Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
Just dress up as one of my professors, they barely cover anything
Confused, he asks the bartender "why do you have meat hanging from your ceiling?" The bartender says "I'm glad you asked, currently we have a challenge going on where if you can jump up and slap both pieces of meat with your hands I'll cover your tab for the whole rest of the night. However, if you attempt to slap the meat and miss, you have to pay for everyone else's drinks in the bar until we close". The bartender looks back at the customer and asks "So what do you say, would you like to give the challenge a shot?" The customer quickly responds with a "No". "Why not?" The bartender asks. The customer replies, "The stakes are too high".
Moses looks at all the women from whom to create his chosen people, picks out all of the smart ones and tells them to follow him. Jesus' turn comes, he looks at the remaining group, picks all of the most beautiful ones and tells them to follow him. Mohammed takes a look at the remaining group, sighs and says "cover yourself up"
your unveiling would be a cover up.
My wife told be that would be infant tile.
Back in high school I was in an english class and a fellow student asked the teacher how long our essays should be.
He responded saying, "As long as a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything that needs to be covered, but short enough to keep me interested."
.. it would be that much more effective at bonking stupid people in the head.
...they decided to split up into five groups to cover as much ground as possible.
One group headed West and Wessex was born.
A particularly lazy bunch decided to stay exactly at the meeting point and incorporate Middlesex.
Another went South to form Sussex, which is still exactly where they made it, while yet another formed Essex to the East.
Oh, nearly forgot about the very conservative pack who went North. Nobody heard from them again
It should be long enough to cover the important parts, but short enough to still be interesting.
The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says "don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."
You can explore cover conceal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cover coverage dad jokes. There are also cover puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because sex cells.
We've already been called the best cover band of all time
They all scramble for cover when you call B-29
Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting.
...and that "we should split up"
"Good idea", I said, "that way we can cover more ground"
I missed my shift.
100 meter Daesh
The local youths used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then put a cherry on my head. Life was tough in the gateau.
Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."
And an elaborate homage to Weekend at Bernie's was undertaken to cover up that fact, he'd still have less strings than Hillary Clinton.
So this Dr hired my friend (who's a carpenter) to do some work around the house, the doc was curiously looking over my friends shoulder as he was putting a piece of molding to cover his uneven cut. The doc said with a cavalier attitude "that's an easy way to hide your mistakes!" and without thinking, my friend replied "yeah, to hide my mistakes I don't need 6 feet of soil!"
After that he went downhill very quickly.
"Doctor, doctor! When I press my body, it hurts!", says the blonde
"Well, could you show me where exactly it hurts?", the doctor replied.
She then procceeds to press some spots, an "ow" with every press. The doctor then gives her a band-aid.
"What am I going to do with a single band-aid?", asks the blonde.
"Cover up the cut in your finger."
One is on the cover of playboy while the other is on the cover of national geographic
Today I was approached by Beyonce who had just finished setting up at the studio. She said to me, "Excuse me hon. You haven't seen my phone have you? It's pink with a 'Bubblicious' cover on it."
I said, "No, sorry. Have you tried calling it?"
She said, "No. I put it on silent."
I said, "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it."
My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!
... to cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
Two soldiers are sat on top of a hill looking for targets. One says to the other
"Hey bob, is that...is that a bacon tree?"
"I don't know Jim, go have a look while I stay here and cover our backs"
Jim goes for a closer look and Bob stays on the hill eating his lunch. After a while Jim returns with about ten arrows in his chest.
"My god what happened? Was it a bacon tree?"
"No Bob, turned out to be a ham bush"
Because eventually, its cover would be blown.
He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover
An under cover cop.
It's a good idea, we'll cover more ground that way.
Have your mom sit down on a golf course.
One of the students asks how long the essay should be.
The teacher responds, "Like a skirt. Long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to keep me interested".
Trump is in office less than a month, and already makes America great again.
With soil.
It's always preceeded by "A man once told me..."
/me ducks and runs for cover. :D
Happy Feminists Day! :)
The first thing he does is ask God, "Who really killed JFK?"
To which God replies, "It was Lee Harvey Oswald. He acted alone."
The conspiracy theorists thinks to him self for a moment then says, "This cover up of the truth goes even further than I thought!"
Long enough to cover everything but short enough to keep your attention.
Well first you dig a really big hole. Then put dry leaves and wood in the hole and light them on fire. Wait for the fire to go out. Then cover the hole with leaves and wait for the elephant to walk by it.
Then, sneak up behind the elephant, and when it least expects it, kick it in the ash hole
We're a cover band.
Just in case
**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"
**Me:** "No."
**Her:** "I'll teach you one."
"Knock! Knock!"
**Me:** "Who's there?"
**Her:** "Ash."
"Now ask, Ash: who?"
**Me:** "Ash: who?"
**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."
**Me: rekt**
Three WW2 pilots were shot down behind enemy lines and captured. They were sent to a POW camp to be executed. They were lined up and the firing squad said "Ready, aim" and then the first pilot screamd
"Tornado" then the soldiers ran for cover. When thay found no tornado they lined back up.
"Ready aim" Then the second screeched "Bombing run" then the soldiers ran for cover. They then lined up again. "Ready aim" Then the third pilot knew what to do and screamed "FIRE".
With dirt.
The traffic is stopped for miles ahead.
Another man walks up next to him and says, "Sir, terrorists have kidnapped every member of congress. If they don't get $100,000,000 in ransom, they will to cover them in gasoline and burn them. I'm here to collect donations."
The man asks, "how much do most people donate?"
"About a gallon."
During a solar eclisp
I questioned it at first, but I decided to stick to my guns.
Daughter: Dad, do I get a new Iphone?
Dad: What's the magic word?
Daughter: Larissa!
Dad: Larissa??
Daughter: yes, your affair!
Dad: Do you want a cover with your Iphone too?
When I opened the door he told me, "You should really cover your windows up," and handed me a business card.
Three professors visit a nudist beach, and strip off. After some time they notice the Dean and his wife approaching. Two of the professors immediately cover their private parts with towels, but the professor of logic covers his face. When asked why, he says "My face is the way that I am usually recognised".
Now you can't even assume it's a book
I had to pay $855 to cover the loss. I'm starting to understand why a Navy captain always goes down with his ship.
I told her that's great, we can cover more ground that way.
The parents freak out and try to cover themselves.
The girl asks, Mommy, what are you guys doing?
The mom says, Your dad and I are making cakes.
The girl shrugs and goes back to her room.
*a week later
The girl asks her mom, Mommy, were you and daddy making cakes again in the living room?
The mother replies Yes we were.
The girl says. Oh cool because I just licked the frosting off the couch.
I ordered another pizza to calm my nerves and the second delivery man noticed the body, so I had to kill him too. Now I feel even more nervous so I ordered yet another pizza. I think it's starting to become a domino effect.
They get into a huge fight about it and she finally says I think we need to split up
The husband replies That's a great idea we can cover more ground that way
(Sorry if this has been posted before I only heard it today)
Big enough to cover the subject, but small enough to keep it interesting.
They make me sick.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Before leaving, I asked the security guard why he let me shop without a cover and he said that Halloween masks are acceptable too. :\_(
"It was absolutely delicious, honey! Thank you so much, princess." says the man to his wife in the kitchen. "Could you please fetch us two beers later, baby?"
His friend says: "It is very cute that you still have nicknames for her after so long time."
The man responds: "Well, I forgot her name like three years ago, so I give her nicknames to cover it up. But seriously don't tell her, amigo!"
I am just lucky my brother told me about it
They make up a cover story.
He Goes Under Cover.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.
We play the same songs, but heavier. We're called Logz.
Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
Me: Excellent idea. That way we can cover more ground.
We're called Saran Saran
He goes under cover
I would name it The Beatles with an extra 's'.
Then tell you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed.
It would blow his cover!
so I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of "irony."
To cover it's butt quack.
They're not any good, completely butcher the songs.
They're called ABBA Trois
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cover vandals jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cover coverup piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.