Cousins Jokes

Following is our collection of incest puns and grandchildren one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cousins jokes for adults, dirty sabrina jokes and clean niece dad gags for kids.

The Best Cousins Puns

Broke up with my girlfriend today

It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins.

I hate breakups.

Especially when they try to let you down gently.
"It's not you, it's me" "I just need some space" "We can still be cousins".

If two white supremacists get a divorce...

Do they still consider each other "cousins"?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!

In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys

In Europe we call them Royals


What does the letter K have in common with my cousins

They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together

Just a quick note to my American cousins. Voting is like driving a car....

'D' to go forward.

'R' to go reverse.

A redneck broke up with his girlfriend

it wasn't all that bad, she said they could still be cousins.

Besides losing, what else did the Confederacy do?

Their cousins

What did the redneck say to his ex?

"Can we still be cousins?"

If two Rednecks get divorced...

are they still cousins?


My mom's cousin just had quintuplets!

Looks like I'll have five second-cousins. Too bad she's an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.

What does the south call friends with benefits?

Cousins.....

What did the redneck say to his girlfriend after they broke up?

"Its ok, we can still be cousins."

What did the 2 rednecks say after breaking up?

Let's just be cousins.

Online Dating

I've been trying out online dating and it hasn't been going so well. Last night, I went on a date and ended up sleeping with my 3rd cousin... I can't believe I've now had sex with three of my cousins.

I'm going to open a strip club in Alabama...

I'm going to name it Cousins.

Mexican Basketball

I watched my two Hispanic cousins play basketball. It was a game of juan-on-juan.

A kid asks his mother about his cousins...

"Mommy, why is my cousin named Rose?"

The mother replied, "Because your aunt loves roses."

The boy replies, "What about my other cousin, Daisy?"

"Your aunt also loved daisies." The mother added calmly.

"So why is my name-"

The mother interjects, "Be quiet and eat your dinner, Dickie!"


What do two rednecks say to each other after a break up?

Let's go back to being cousins.

In a furious argument, the wife tells her husband...

- I should have married the devil instead of you!

- Well, that's impossible. Marriage between cousins is forbidden!

What do rednecks and aristocrats have in common?

Both groups like marrying their cousins.

How does a Alabama girl friendzone her boy friend?

Let's just be cousins.

My cousins zodiac sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died.

She got eaten by a giant crab.

My cousins asked me to sponsor them in a charity race.

Boy did they give me a run for my money.

My girlfriend and I broke up.

But its fine, she said we could still be cousins.

My gfriend left me recently.

It has been really tough. We tried to be friends but ultimately just decided to stay cousins.

I wanted to break up with my girlfriend

So I told her let's just be cousins.

To our American cousins...

Its lift, not elevators.
Cash machine not ATM.
Hospital, not business.

[NSFW] WHERE do cousins come from?

Ant Holes

How does a guy from Alabama break up with his girlfriend?

It's over, and I'm sorry. I hope we can still be cousins.

My inappropriate uncle told me this one when I was 11: Where do cousins come from?

ant holes

Miss Alabama Katherine Webb thinks being called 'Sexy' is derogatory.

That's because she only hears that from her cousins.

So I banged my 3rd cousin the other day

I'm really surprised how I even managed to bang more than two of my cousins

Welcome to the first annual hunger games America.

Thank you to all the married cousins that voted for president snow.

3 cousins are together talking about their names. The first, a raven haired beauty, says "when my mother was pregnant a rose fell from a bush and landed on her stomach so she named me Rose".

The second, a beautiful blonde, says, "when my mother was pregnant a violet landed on her stomach, so she named me Violet".
She turns to the 3rd cousin, a small crippled girl in a wheelchair, "how did u get your name, Piano??".

An obese woman goes the the doctor.

The doctor attempts to suggest diet and exercise. The woman responds, "Doctor, you don't understand. My mother is obese, my sister is obese, my brother is obese, my cousins are obese. Obesity runs in my family." She doctor thinks for a second and responds, "It sounds like no one runs in your family."

gotta love cousins...

what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos.
what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine.

A man was at a funeral because his entire family was killed in a fire

At the funeral all his cousins and friends were sobbing and crying, but when someone noticed he wasnt even showing emotion they went up and asked "Dont you even care that your family is dead?!"

"I do, I'm just not a mourning person"

If a redneck man and woman get divorced

Are they still cousins?

What's the first question on the West Virginia Bar Exam?

If a husband and wife get divorced, do they still remain brother and sister?

A) Yes
B) No
C) They become cousins
D) None of the Above

My girlfriend said she wanted to break up

It's okay though, she said we could still be cousins

Poker game

I was playing poker with my friends Robin and Drake and some of their distant cousins.

There was this one chick who won almost every hand.

I can't be sure but I suspect fowl play.

What's the definition of safe sex in Alabama ?

Locking your car door before humping your cousins

There is an abundance of stepsister jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 44 funniest jokes and cousins puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any grandchild witze you can hear about cousins.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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