Cousins Jokes

Funniest Cousins Short Jokes

Short cousins jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cousins humour may include short married cousin jokes also.

1. My 7 Year Old Cousin just told me this yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up
2. I was reading a book when my 5yo cousin asked "why is that book so thick?" Then i told him "its a long story"
3. Eight year old tells funniest joke My eight year old cousin told me this one:
   Why was beethoven mad at his chicken?
   Because he kept saying Bach Bach Bach
4. I hate breakups. Especially when they try to let you down gently.
   "It's not you, it's me" "I just need some space" "We can still be cousins".
5. Is it ok to sleep with a second cousin? It must be, because the first one didn't seem to mind.
6. My friend came by today, he looked visibly upset. He said he just slept with his third cousin. I told him if it upsets you so much, quit counting them.
7. A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin... I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them
8. Did you know Darth Vader's cousin lives in Switzerland and drives a cab? He's called 'taxi Vader'
9. In America you call people who marry their cousins hillbillys In Europe we call them Royals
10. What does the letter K have in common with my cousins They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together

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Cousins One Liners

Which cousins one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cousins? I can suggest the ones about relatives and brothers and sisters.

1. Broke up with my girlfriend today It's cool though, she said we can still be cousins.
2. If two white supremacists get a divorce... Do they still consider each other "cousins"?
3. I accidentally slept with my third cousin. The first two were better.
4. My cousin's horoscope was Cancer. Funny how she died... She got eaten by a giant crab
5. My cousin is gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
6. What do you call Iron Man's transgender cousin? Fe-male
7. Einstein's second wife was his cousin ... ... so I guess sometimes love is relative.
8. So i banged my 3rd cousin yesterday... My buddy told me to stop counting them
9. Besides losing, what else did the Confederacy do? Their cousins
10. My cousin's shoe store burned down yesterday There were so many lost soles.
11. Why did the Alabama man marry his third cousin? Because the first two weren't good in bed
12. What runs faster than a burglar with a TV? His cousin with the DVD
13. What does the south call friends with benefits? Cousins.....
14. What do you call an explosive monkey? A Baboom!
    (made by my cousin)
15. My cousin couldn't pay the church for her exorcism So they repossessed her.

Cousins Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny cousins day jokes and even better cousins day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What does the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend Flush
  I heard this from my 11 year old cousin, the look on his mom's face after he told me this made my day.
• I can't see how this day could get any worse. First, my baby cousin went missing... And now my pet snake has a huge tumor
• So I banged my 3rd cousin the other day I'm really surprised how I even managed to bang more than two of my cousins
• OCD My little cousin has been diagnosed with an unusual case of OCD where all he does all day is organise dinner plates by the year they were made,
  It's an extremely rare dish-order........
• My cousin died just six days before my birthday Which of course made me extremely upset when my birthday came around, because I now had nothing to wish for.
• My cousin is most likely going to give birth tomorrow. I guess it really is Labor Day.
• So my cousin came up to me the other day and told me he has diabetes. I asked him how in the world that could happen to him.
  He replied, "Easy, it was a piece of cake."
• The other day I had s**... with my third cousin. She was way better than the other two.
• My 13 year old cousin has just started taking h**... Actually amazing.
  Kids. They shoot up so fast these days.
• The leader of ISIS's younger cousin was involved in a s**... b**.... They blow up so fast these days.

Marriage Cousins Jokes

Here is a list of funny marriage cousins jokes and even better marriage cousins puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• In a furious argument, the wife tells her husband... - I should have married the devil instead of you!
  - Well, that's impossible. Marriage between cousins is forbidden!
• I asked my lawyer cousin, an orthodox Jewish man, his opinion on gay marriage He said "that would be GREAT for business"
• einstien Einstein married his first cousin... You could say that even his marriage was relative.
• You know you're an Indian r**... when you have an arranged marriage.... to your cousin.

Kissing Cousins Jokes

Here is a list of funny kissing cousins jokes and even better kissing cousins puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you hear the one about the guy who kissed his 3rd cousin? He stopped counting
• If you're an Alabama fan.. You've probably kissed your cousin.

Uplifting Cousins Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about cousins you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean redneck cousin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cousins pranks.