Cous Jokes
57 cous jokes and hilarious cous puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cous that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Cous Short Jokes
Short cous jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cous humour may include short sister jokes also.
- A joke my daughter just came up with. What do they serve at a muder mystery dinner?
J'Accuse Cous.
I thought it was original and funny enough to share! - A girl asks her boyfriend "Baby are you gonna still love me, even after we are married?" Boyfriend says "Of couse, sweetheart. If your husband doesn't mind that is."
Share These Cous Jokes With Friends
Cous One Liners
Which cous one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cous? I can suggest the ones about peak and brother.
- A son asks his dad Son: Dad am I adopted
Dad: Of Couse Not, why would I even choose you - The food so nice, they spelt it twice. Cous cous
- Can you guys C#? Of couse you dont. If you did you wouldnt need glasses.
Gather Around for Fun Cous Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about cous you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean frank jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cous pranks.
So my cousin has bieber fever...
Or as it's medically known, Down Syndrome.
My cousin was one of the most ambitious people I ever knew. Unfortunately, he struggled with depression. His life motto?
"Gosh darn it, I'm going to kill myself, or die trying!"
My cousins zodiac sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died.
She got eaten by a giant crab.
My cousin might be convinced he's a horse.
But every time I ask him about it, he just responds, "Nay."
My cousin likes to eat cereal with water instead of milk
He says he does it to drown the cornflakes because he is a cereal killer.
What do two cousins say after they have s**...?
Roll Tide.
My little cousin dropped this one on me:
Me: Wow, you must've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!
Cosin: Nope, still have two!
My cousin was hospitalized for 3 months after a freak accident at a spaghetti factory..
Unfortunately, he pasta way
My cousin is a total audiophile...
He came as soon as he heard
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the s**... persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
My cousins asked me to sponsor them in a charity race.
Boy did they give me a run for my money.
My cousin is so poor....
that when she couldn't afford pay the Catholic church for her exorcism, they repossessed her.
My cousin, who's a karate expert, joined the Army.
First time he saluted he nearly killed himself.
My cousin couldn't pay the church for her exorcism
So they repossessed her.
So my cousin s**... up bigtime
My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.
If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.
My cousin said he has brain cancer...
I guess you can say it's all in his head
My cousin thinks it's i**... to have s**... with someone who digs for coal.
She says it's against the law to be with a miner.
My cousin recently had her baby aborted.
Such a shame, could have met my future first cousin once removed.
His cousin
A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up.
The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this ?
Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin.
3 cousins are together talking about their names. The first, a raven haired beauty, says "when my mother was pregnant a rose fell from a bush and landed on her stomach so she named me Rose".
The second, a beautiful blonde, says, "when my mother was pregnant a violet landed on her stomach, so she named me Violet".
She turns to the 3rd cousin, a small crippled girl in a wheelchair, "how did u get your name, Piano??".
My cousin recently had an operation to become a goose
He's transgander.
My cousin eats only Indian bread because his friends do.
He's a naan-conformist.
My cousin was going to get a heart transplant
But then he had a change of heart.
My cousin has a m**... problem...
It's getting out of hand
My cousin was born without eye lids
My cousin was born without eye lids so when they circimsised him they used his f**... to graft eyelids for him. The surgery went fine but he's a little cockeyed now.
My cousin only breathed helium when he was born
He has Up Syndrome.
Who is Dumbledore's cousin?
Dumblewindow.
My cousin died just six days before my birthday
Which of course made me extremely upset when my birthday came around, because I now had nothing to wish for.
My cousin has 2 tickets for the super bowl and paid $2500 for each ticket.
he didnt realize last year it was going to be the day of his wedding.
If interested he is looking for someone to take his place.
Her name is Lisa Phillips 35, about 140lbs, a good cook, She'll be in white
My cousin was born with a silver spoon in her mouth.
Unfortunately, she died from asphyxiation almost immediately.
My cousin is a hydro-technician.
Cleaning those golf carts gives him a lot of time to come up with better job titles.
My cousin was planning to take an Uber home, but then his phone died.
For lack of a better option, he took out the amount of cash that he thought would cover the cost plus tip, and he asked a stranger, "If I pay you this cash, would you call me an Uber?". The stranger nodded, took the cash, said "You're an Uber!" and walked away.
My cousins name is Justin Case
To avoid any misunderstanding, I'll save him on my mobile properly, just in case...
My cousin was late for her cosmetology test.
She had to take a makeup exam.
My cousin jumped off a hospital.
His summer was c**.... But he had a great fall.
My cousin from the south said we should kill every Muslim who owns a lama.
I think he is lamaphobe.
My cousin told me she choked on a mozzarella stick at a local restaurant, and I laughed so hard I cried.
The choking wasn't her biggest problem considering it was a Mexican restaurant...
My mom's cousin just had quintuplets!
Looks like I'll have five second-cousins. Too bad she's an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.
My cousin has 9 fingers.
That's odd.
My cousin thinks he's cool because he sleeps in a race car bed.
Little does he know I sleep in an actual car.
My Cousin always brags about getting to sleep in a race-car bed
Joke's on him. I sleep in a real car!
My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed
Jokes on him I sleep in a real car
My cousin decided to try parkour, so he jumped off a single floor hotel. Anyway, to make a long story short
would've helped. f**...'s Thursday.
My cousin always introduces himself as "Stephen with a P-H"
It's because he's slightly acidic
I like my cousins like my ham
i**...
My cousin is obsessed with football (soccer). So when I entered his room...
When I entered his room and saw that it was covered in posters of a famous Argentinian player, I thought to myself...
That's a Messi room.
My cousin told me it's totally safe to get a dental piercing
Turns out he was lying through his teeth.
Cousin: "What are you doing in the bathroom?"
Me: "I'm losing my a**... in a game of craps!"
My cousin who stutters was sentenced to 6 months in prison
That was two years ago, but he still hasn't finished his sentence
My cousin I'm expecting twins!
Me, Finally two kids from the same man.
I had a cousin called Marco. Tragic story. He got lost in a crowded shopping mall. My aunt called and called for him
but of course she hadn't a hope of hearing him calling back.
My cousin is gay, he went to London only to find out that
Big Ben was a clock.
My cousin just started a new career as a bounty hunter…
…Apparently, she makes a killing.
