The Best 52 Cous Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cous jokes. There are some cous sibling jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cous peak puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cous Jokes and Puns

So my cousin has bieber fever...

Or as it's medically known, Down Syndrome.

My cousin was one of the most ambitious people I ever knew. Unfortunately, he struggled with depression. His life motto?

"Gosh darn it, I'm going to kill myself, or die trying!"

My cousins zodiac sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died.

She got eaten by a giant crab.

Cous joke, My cousins zodiac sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died.

My cousin might be convinced he's a horse.

But every time I ask him about it, he just responds, "Nay."

My cousin likes to eat cereal with water instead of milk

He says he does it to drown the cornflakes because he is a cereal killer.


What do two cousins say after they have sex?

Roll Tide.

My little cousin dropped this one on me:

Me: Wow, you must've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!

Cosin: Nope, still have two!

Cous joke, My little cousin dropped this one on me:

My cousin was hospitalized for 3 months after a freak accident at a spaghetti factory..

Unfortunately, he pasta way

My cousin is a total audiophile...

He came as soon as he heard

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!

My cousins asked me to sponsor them in a charity race.

Boy did they give me a run for my money.

You can explore cous sister reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cous man dad jokes. There are also cous puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My cousin is so poor....

that when she couldn't afford pay the Catholic church for her exorcism, they repossessed her.

My cousin, who's a karate expert, joined the Army.

First time he saluted he nearly killed himself.

My cousin couldn't pay the church for her exorcism

So they repossessed her.

So my cousin screwed up bigtime

My cousin has two tickets for the 2017 SUPER BOWL, both box seats. He paid $2,500 each ticket, but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding.

If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place... It's at St. Joseph Church, in Warwick, RI at 3 p.m. Her name is Amanda. She's 5'2, about 130 lbs. She's a good cook, too. She'll be the one in the white dress.

Where do cousins come from?

Aunt holes.

My cousin said he has brain cancer...

I guess you can say it's all in his head

My cousin thinks it's illegal to have sex with someone who digs for coal.

She says it's against the law to be with a miner.

My cousin recently had her baby aborted.

Such a shame, could have met my future first cousin once removed.


His cousin

A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up.

The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY

Doctor: Can you read this ?

Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin.

3 cousins are together talking about their names. The first, a raven haired beauty, says "when my mother was pregnant a rose fell from a bush and landed on her stomach so she named me Rose".

The second, a beautiful blonde, says, "when my mother was pregnant a violet landed on her stomach, so she named me Violet".
She turns to the 3rd cousin, a small crippled girl in a wheelchair, "how did u get your name, Piano??".

A man's cousin and wife died.

He will miss her.

My cousin recently had an operation to become a goose

He's transgander.

My cousin eats only Indian bread because his friends do.

He's a naan-conformist.

My cousin was going to get a heart transplant

But then he had a change of heart.

My cousin has a masturbation problem...

It's getting out of hand

My cousin

My cousin's name is Brad Johnson.....

My cousin was born without eye lids

My cousin was born without eye lids so when they circimsised him they used his foreskin to graft eyelids for him. The surgery went fine but he's a little cockeyed now.

My cousin only breathed helium when he was born

He has Up Syndrome.

Who is Dumbledore's cousin?

Dumblewindow.

My cousin died just six days before my birthday

Which of course made me extremely upset when my birthday came around, because I now had nothing to wish for.

My cousin has 2 tickets for the super bowl and paid $2500 for each ticket.

he didnt realize last year it was going to be the day of his wedding.

If interested he is looking for someone to take his place.

Her name is Lisa Phillips 35, about 140lbs, a good cook, She'll be in white

My cousin was born with a silver spoon in her mouth.

Unfortunately, she died from asphyxiation almost immediately.

My cousin is a hydro-technician.

Cleaning those golf carts gives him a lot of time to come up with better job titles.

My cousin was planning to take an Uber home, but then his phone died.

For lack of a better option, he took out the amount of cash that he thought would cover the cost plus tip, and he asked a stranger, "If I pay you this cash, would you call me an Uber?". The stranger nodded, took the cash, said "You're an Uber!" and walked away.

My cousins name is Justin Case

To avoid any misunderstanding, I'll save him on my mobile properly, just in case...

My cousin was late for her cosmetology test.

She had to take a makeup exam.

My cousin jumped off a hospital.

His summer was crappy. But he had a great fall.

My cousin from the south said we should kill every Muslim who owns a lama.

I think he is lamaphobe.

My cousin told me she choked on a mozzarella stick at a local restaurant, and I laughed so hard I cried.

The choking wasn't her biggest problem considering it was a Mexican restaurant...

My mom's cousin just had quintuplets!

Looks like I'll have five second-cousins. Too bad she's an anti-vaxxer, they might turn out to be five-second cousins.

My cousin got sent to jail

It was our nap time and he was resisting a-rest

My cousin has 9 fingers.

That's odd.

My cousin thinks he's cool because he sleeps in a race car bed.

Little does he know I sleep in an actual car.

My Cousin always brags about getting to sleep in a race-car bed

Joke's on him. I sleep in a real car!

My little cousin was showing off that he sleeps in a race car bed

Jokes on him I sleep in a real car

My cousin decided to try parkour, so he jumped off a single floor hotel. Anyway, to make a long story short

would've helped. Funeral's Thursday.

My cousin always introduces himself as "Stephen with a P-H"

It's because he's slightly acidic

I like my cousins like my ham

Inbred

My cousin is obsessed with football (soccer). So when I entered his room...

When I entered his room and saw that it was covered in posters of a famous Argentinian player, I thought to myself...

That's a Messi room.

My cousin told me it's totally safe to get a dental piercing

Turns out he was lying through his teeth.

Cousin: "What are you doing in the bathroom?"

Me: "I'm losing my ass in a game of craps!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cous brother jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cous neice piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes