Courtyard Jokes
9 courtyard jokes and hilarious courtyard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about courtyard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Amusing Courtyard Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What is a good courtyard joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
An identity thief and a r**... get convicted in a poor town...
The judge decides that the best punishment is to tie them up in a courtyard and for $5 you can punch the identity thief so he can never use his charm to con again, or for $10 you can kick the r**... in the nuts. The police officer in charge of this spots a girl kick the identity thief in the nuts and says, "Hey! You can't do that!" The girl asks, "Why not?" And the cop says, "Because this is the punchline."
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.
It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'
'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.
He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.
Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.
'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'
But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..
A man was passing by a small courtyard when he starting hearing...
...voices and murmuring. He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said, "NIL."
White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity and The Blessed Emptiness.
The man turned to a white-robed observer beside him and asked, "Is Nothing Sacred?"
When I see Donald Trump I get the same thought in my head as I get after a particularly painful bikini wax.
Bush wasn't that bad.
Courtyard
My coworker wouldn't shut up about the hotel he stayed at
I told him if you love it so much, why don't you Marriot?
How I learned to mind my own business???
One day I was walking near a mental institution. Everyone in the courtyard was yelling: 13 13 13 !!!
The fence was to high to see anything, but I found a hole so I got close to peak through it.. A crazy guy poked me in the eye and everyone started yelling: 14 14 14!!!
An elderly woman called the police to report that a man was in the apartment across the courtyard, dancing around his apartment with the windows open, completely n**...
When the officers arrived at her address, she led them to the window overlooking the courtyard and pointed across to a window on the building across the way.
"Ma'am... I'm sorry, but I can't see anything," said one of the officers.
The lady responded, "Here, stand up on this step stool and look..."
A man takes his family to the courtyard to see a beheading
He arrives, but no one is one the stage besides the guards. A half hour later, the headsman arrived on the stage.
I'm terribly sorry about the wait. I hope it didn't cause any of you to lose your heads, the headsman says, and chuckles a little to himself at his joke.
The beheading proceeds according to plan, and as the man leaves, the jester stops him.
Good sir, I may ask you a question. I'm thinking of perusing a career in comedy. What did you think of my joke?
The man thinks for a second, and responds The timing is was off, but the execution was incredible!
An old man wins the lottery.
He goes to his synagogue, walks up to his rabbi and says "I want to donate 10 million dollars to the synagogue on one condition." the rabbi's eyes start to sparkle and he replies "Of course sir, whatever you wish we will do." The old man states "I want you to e**... a statue of Adolf h**... in your courtyard" The look in the rabbi's eyes turns to rage as he states "Why would you want us to commit this travesty to our people?" the old man shrugs, lifts up his sleeve and says "He gave me the winning numbers."
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