Courtroom Jokes

Funny, laugh-worthy and sometimes inappropriate, courtroom jokes are a unique form of humor best enjoyed by those with a legal background. From the worst courtroom scenarios ever, to silly jokes about lawyers and manslaughter, these jokes are sure to get you rolling with laughter as you testify in the court. Whether you have a law degree or not, everyone can appreciate a good courtroom joke and its accompanying gavel!

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jokes about courtroom

Best Short Courtroom Jokes

These are our top courtroom puns. Have fun with a good courtroom joke in English with simple courtroom humour.

  1. A cannibal in a courtroom Representing himself, the cannibal was asked by the judge if he had anything to say.
    "If the quote "You are what you eat" is true then I am an innocent man."
  2. Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for mastubating in a courtroom? He got off on a technicality.
  3. You know the difference between my birthday and a courtroom? My dad shows up at a courtroom.
  4. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist that walked into a courtroom? He got off on a technicality.
  5. I was sitting in the courtroom the other day and my phone started to die. Luckily I brought my mobile power bank. Anyways, I was charged with battery.
  6. Italian in a courtroom extremely upset The judge tries to calm him down and says "Just relax, its a fine!" The Italian goes "No! Its a not!"
  7. [In a courtroom] Judge: Did you feel guilty at the time? Accused: No I didn't, your honour.
    Guilty: Yes he did, your honour. That's why I pressed charges against him.
  8. I don't like making plans for the day Because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around the courtroom.
  9. Soviet Union. Judge comes out of the courtroom, laughing. - Why are you laughing?
    - I've just heard a very funny joke.
    - Tell me it.
    - I can't, I just gave a 10-year sentence for it.
  10. A lawyer walks into a courtroom without a shirt Lawyer: "Can we please postpone this trial?"
    Judge: "Of course, how can we start the trial when you've forgotten your lawsuit!"
Courtroom joke, A lawyer walks into a courtroom without a shirt

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these courtroom jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of courtroom puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Courtroom One Liners

Which courtroom dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with courtroom?

  1. What do you call 12 cats in a courtroom? Purrjury
  2. Why was the courtroom closed? It was.... out of order!
  3. A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... The details are sketchy
  4. Courtroom Dramas.... .....are lawsome.
  5. If a courtroom's flora was only cannabis plants Would that make it a high court?
  6. What does the Japanese bailiff say in the courtroom? ALL RICE
  7. Why was the courtroom stocked with toilet paper? Jury Dootie
  8. When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
  9. What do you call a white guy in a courtroom? Judge

Lawyer Courtroom Jokes

Here is a list of funny lawyer courtroom jokes and even better lawyer courtroom puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A reporter outside of a courtroom asked a defendant clad only in a barrel: “Oh, I see your attorney lost the case!”
    The defendant answered, “No, we won.”
Courtroom joke

Uproarious Courtroom Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about courtroom to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make courtroom prank.

In the courtroom where I worked as a court reporter, a dentist was called as a witness.

He took the oath a few feet from my desk, and I noticed his upraised arm was trembling, apparently from nervousness.
After he finished, I couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor. This won't hurt a bit."

A woman and a man are in a courtroom.

The woman screams to the judge:"This man walked up behind me!"
The man says: "We all know that's not true.."
-"Then he took off his pants!"
The man responds: "Do you seriously believe this women?"
-"Then he took out his 10 inch you know what."
The man says: "Well... that's definitely true, i won't lie about that one."

A man and his lawyer walk into the courtroom and stand before the judge.

The judge asks "What does the defendant plea?"
The lawyer replies "Your honor, my client pleads trans-guilty."
The judge has a puzzled look on his face.
Lawyer: "He identifies himself as an innocent man."

A woman was before a Judge for steeling a can of peaches.

**Judge:** "How many peaches were in the tin?"
**Woman:** "4 your honour."
**Judge:** "Very well you will serve a month in prison for each peach inside that tin."
From the back of the courtroom the woman's husband chimes up
**Husband:** "She stole a can of peas too."

A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday

.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

A p**... Goes to Court

A p**... goes to court with a jury, accused of murdering a customer.
After court is done, she comes out of the courtroom. Her friends asks, "So, how was the jury?"
p**... says, "They were hung."

I want to be a courtroom artist.

Think about how amazing that job would be! I get to draw people, and these days, i get to meet stars i loved as a child.

Court Comedy

In a courtroom, where tensions are high...
Judge: Order! Order in the court!
Plaintiff: I'll take a ham on rye.

A man is sued and goes to court...

A man is sued for calling a lady a cow during a heated exchange at work. The man is asked by the judge to pay a small fine to the madam which he does immediately. Just before leaving the courtroom, the man and the judge have the following conversation:
"Your honor, may I ask you a question?"
"By all means sir"
"If i were to call a cow a madam, would I still have to pay a fine?"
"Of course not, that's crazy"
"Thank you your honor"
The man then turns to the woman and says:
"Have a good day madam"
And proceeds to walk out of tthe courtroom
(My dad just told me this in Serbian and it sounded better but this sort of works. Hope you get some gags!)

Why is there a dog in the courtroom?

How else is he supposed to contest all those unpaid barking tickets, idiot?

Stormzy, Dizzee Rascal, and Lethal Bizzle walked into a courtroom.

They were charged with grimes against humanity.


Prosecutor: Did you kill this man?
Me: No
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalty for perjury is?
Me: Yeah, it's a lot less than the penalty for m**...

Did you hear about the guy who died in a courtroom after the judge threw a book at him?

He was sentenced to death

A judge walks out of his courtroom in Soviet Russia chuckling to himself.

Another judge stops him and says, "What's so funny?"
"I just heard this funny political joke in my courtroom." the first judge says.
"Really?" says the second judge, "Tell it to me, I want to hear it."
The first judge says, "No way. I gave the poor guy 20 years hard labor for it."

R. Kelly went from being trapped in a closet to being trapped in a courtroom.

Can't wait for the sequel, trapped in a jail cell.

Funny Courtroom Transcript

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

A skunk walks into a courtroom in the middle of a trial.

The judge immediately shouts, "ODOUR IN THE COURT!"

Take him down

In an English courtroom ....
Judge: before I pass sentence have you anything you wish to say?
Defendant: F**k all
Judge to clerk of court: What did he say!
Clerk to Judge: F**k all m'lud
Judge to clerk: He did you know, I saw his lips move.


It's my cake day, so here's a joke for everybody. My dad told me this joke, but I haven't seen it any other places:
A man goes on trial for calling the Duchess a pig. The judge finds him guilty of slander and explains that if he ever calls the Duchess a pig again he'll be severely punished. The man then says to the judge, If I can't call the Duchess a pig, would I still get punished for calling a pig Duchess?
The judge publicly rules that he can indeed call a pig Duchess.
On his way out of the courtroom, the man walks by the royal plaintiff, tips his hat, and says Good day, Duchess.

My friend told this to me the other day, so I apologize if this is a repost or anything like that.

A man is pulled over for speeding.
Police Officer: Sir, were you aware you were going 68 MPH on a 45?
Man: No sir.
Officer: Well, you were, and that's far too high. You'll have to be in court.
Man: Well, can you at least raise the number a bit so we can get the judge to say it?
Officer: I guess I can.

\*In the courtroom
Judge: How were you going 420 on a 45?!?

The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, I stole a can of peaches.

The judge then asked, how many peaches were in the can?
Six, replied the woman.
After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total.
At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn't know what to do.
And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, your honor, wait!
The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say.
She also stole a can of peas!

Did you hear about the Soviet judge?

He walks out of the courtroom laughing his head off, and another judge asks what's so funny. He says he just heard the funniest joke of his life, so judge 2 asks him to tell it. Then judge 1 says "I can't. I just gave someone 10 years for it."

A Russian joke

Russian joke:
A judge exists the courtroom laughing histerically:
"What is it?" asks a coleague
"I just heard the best joke ever!"
"What is it?"
"I can't tell you, I just sent some guy ten years to the Gulag for it."

BREAKING NEWS from the courtroom! Amber Heard confesses to having a child with Charlie Sheen. The child went to live with his father and took his name.

Both parents agreed the child should be sheen and not heard.

Another soviet joke.

A lawyer (L) walks in the court and meets a judge(his friend) (J) exiting a courtroom and laughing his a**... off.
L - Hey, why you laugh so hard?
J - Oh, i'v just heard a very good joke.
L - care to share it?
J - No, can't. Just sentenced a guy for life for telling that joke.

Wife and chair

(In a courtroom, a judge is hearing a case of domestic a**...)
Judge: Mrs. Smith, why did you hit your husband with a chair?
Wife: (sobbing) I tried not to … but I couldn't lift a table.

A lawyer walked into the courtroom wearing nothing but his underwear and asked, "Can we please postpone the trial?"

The judge replied, "Of course! How can we start when you've forgotten your lawsuit?"

Courtroom joke, Italian in a courtroom extremely upset

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these courtroom jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.