Following is our collection of judge puns and micky one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Courthouse jokes for adults, dirty prosecutor jokes and clean courtroom dad gags for kids.
I don't want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.
A lawsuit.
So I drove him down to the courthouse. He came out 5 minutes later and said we could go. I said "How did you do that?" He said it was easy, just pretend to be super racist and they let you go. So I tried it myself a couple weeks later.
Apparently it doesn't work if you're the defendant.
A a man in his 70's calls his son to tell him he and his mother are getting a divorce. "Dad, you can't do this! You're not thinking straight." The son calls his sister to talk about it, and she is in agreement; their parents cannot do this. "Dad, we're flying out there tomorrow. Do not sign any papers, contact any lawyers, or even thinking about going down to the courthouse." After the dad gets off the phone, he looks over at his wife and says, "It worked. They'll be here for Christmas and are paying their own airfare."
A court mandate.
I have no interest in seeing some band called Parking Violation at the City Courthouse venue.
"What is your current name?" the clerk asks. "Adolph Trump."
"That *is* unfortunate," the clerk replies. "What do you want to change it to?"
"Adolph Jones."
They go to the courthouse and the judge wants to hear why they want a divorce.
The woman starts and says that they are too compatible. She says how they like the same movies, music, sports, books, and hobbies.
The judge perplexed asks why this is grounds for divorce.
She says the compatibility is just too good that they even like the same men.
It's a whisk-free 30 day trial.
They are threatening to release a lawyer every 15 minutes unless their demands are met.4
God doesn't think he's a federal judge.
A Soviet judge exits a courthouse after a trial. He is laughing hysterically as a friend greets him.
The friend asks, "Why are you laughing?"
The judge answers, "I think I just heard the funniest joke I've ever heard."
The friend says, "Come on, tell it to me."
The judge says, "I can't. I just sent someone to the Gulag for it!!"
After five minutes of violent shaking and trying to push the man backwards, the televangelist inquires Robert on the state of his hearing, to which he replies "I don't know, my hearing isn't until Tuesday at the courthouse."
After a few minutes of fervent prayer with his hands clasped over Steve's ears the entire time, he stopped and asked, "How's your hearing now?" Steve replied, "I don't know. It's coming up this Tuesday at the courthouse."
Now that's what I call a construction of justice
What idiot designed it into the center of the courthouse floor anyway?
It was out of order.
Law and mortar.
He was disbarred.
There is an abundance of lawsuit jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 20 funniest jokes and courthouse puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any federal witze you can hear about courthouse.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.