Courthouse Jokes
30 courthouse jokes and hilarious courthouse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about courthouse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Courthouse Short Jokes
Short courthouse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The courthouse humour may include short courtroom jokes also.
- People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don't want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse."
- Civil War spoilers Lee surrenders at Appomatox Courthouse, Abe Lincoln is shot by John Wilkes Booth.
- People need to stop putting flyers on my car windshield, I have no interest in seeing some band called Parking Violation at the City Courthouse venue.
- I was at the courthouse today and witnessed a 4 foot tall felon go down a flight of stairs.... It was a little condescending.
- No mixing utensils are allowed near the courthouse as the month-long case against the violent baker continues. It's a whisk-free 30 day trial.
- I have some fine parking skills. I was complemented on my parking at the courthouse today. Someone left a note saying parking fine.
- Terrorists have taken over the local courthouse. They are threatening to release a lawyer every 15 minutes unless their demands are met.4
- I work in a courthouse, and this is my favorite joke due to its accuracy: What's the difference between a federal judge and God? God doesn't think he's a federal judge.
- Did you hear they're building a new courthouse? Now that's what I call a construction of justice
- 2 lawyers, a judge, and a witness all walked into a bar What idiot designed it into the center of the courthouse floor anyway?
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Courthouse One Liners
Which courthouse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with courthouse? I can suggest the ones about town hall and court appearance.
- What does a lawyer wear to the courthouse? A lawsuit.
- What do you call a gay wedding in a courthouse? A court mandate.
- What kinds of peanuts do people in courthouses eat? Subpoenas.
- What makes up the foundation of every courthouse? Law and mortar.
- At a courthouse Judge: Order, order.
Defendant: A cheeseburger, please. - How did the steak chef at the courthouse like his paycheck? In legal tender
Playful Courthouse Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about courthouse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean city hall jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make courthouse pranks.
My friend got jury duty
So I drove him down to the courthouse. He came out 5 minutes later and said we could go. I said "How did you do that?" He said it was easy, just pretend to be super racist and they let you go. So I tried it myself a couple weeks later.
Apparently it doesn't work if you're the defendant.
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:
You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
Divorce
A a man in his 70's calls his son to tell him he and his mother are getting a divorce. "Dad, you can't do this! You're not thinking straight." The son calls his sister to talk about it, and she is in agreement; their parents cannot do this. "Dad, we're flying out there tomorrow. Do not sign any papers, contact any lawyers, or even thinking about going down to the courthouse." After the dad gets off the phone, he looks over at his wife and says, "It worked. They'll be here for Christmas and are paying their own airfare."
My uncle just saw his wanted picture at the courthouse and was p**...
Because he was framed
A man goes to the courthouse to change his name.
"What is your current name?" the clerk asks. "Adolph Trump."
"That *is* unfortunate," the clerk replies. "What do you want to change it to?"
"Adolph Jones."
A man and woman get a divorce.
They go to the courthouse and the judge wants to hear why they want a divorce.
The woman starts and says that they are too compatible. She says how they like the same movies, music, sports, books, and hobbies.
The judge perplexed asks why this is grounds for divorce.
She says the compatibility is just too good that they even like the same men.
Robert asks a televangelist to pray for his hearing
After five minutes of violent shaking and trying to push the man backwards, the televangelist inquires Robert on the state of his hearing, to which he replies "I don't know, my hearing isn't until Tuesday at the courthouse."
Steve asked the preacher to pray for his hearing.
After a few minutes of fervent prayer with his hands clasped over Steve's ears the entire time, he stopped and asked, "How's your hearing now?" Steve replied, "I don't know. It's coming up this Tuesday at the courthouse."
Funniest joke I've ever heard
A Soviet judge exits a courthouse after a trial. He is laughing hysterically as a friend greets him.
The friend asks, "Why are you laughing?"
The judge answers, "I think I just heard the funniest joke I've ever heard."
The friend says, "Come on, tell it to me."
The judge says, "I can't. I just sent someone to the Gulag for it!!"
A judge in my city had the entire bathroom removed from the Courthouse.
It was out of order.
