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Court Appearance Jokes

24 court appearance jokes and hilarious court appearance puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about court appearance that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Court Appearance Short Jokes

Short court appearance jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The court appearance humour may include short courtroom jokes also.

  1. The DJ played the Cha Cha Slide, so I did the Cha Cha Slide, The DJ played Macarena, so I did the Macarena,
    The DJ played Come On Eileen, and now I have an upcoming court appearance.
  2. Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter... They estimate the trial could last for 30 days.
  3. Former police officers are offering their services to appear in court for you. It's a form of copper recycling.
  4. I had the court appearance for my encounter with the grammar police today... The judge gave me a run on sentence!

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Court Appearance One Liners

Which court appearance one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with court appearance? I can suggest the ones about court case and court.

  1. Why is the Invisible Man the worst lawyer? He can never appear in court.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about court appearance can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of court appearance puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Court Appearance Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about court appearance you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean judge ordered jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make court appearance prank.

The Lawyer

Satan appears before a lawyer and says, "I will make a deal with you. You will become the most successful attorney who has ever lived. You will be rich beyond imagination, and known to everyone on the planet. You will be appointed to the Supreme Court, and your rulings will be read and studied for decades to come. All I ask in return is the souls of your wife and your three children."
The lawyer sits with his head in his hands, thinking for several minutes. Finally he says, "Okay, what's the catch?"

It's no surprise that the Williams sisters...

It's no surprise that the Williams sisters always win at tennis.
Black people have centuries of experience serving.
And appearing at the courts, for that matter.

Traffic court

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher.
The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court."
He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write, 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times."

An elderly woman appears in court for stealing

A can of peaches from the grocery store. The judge asks "how many peaches were in that can?" To which she replied "about 6 your honor."

"Very well then. 6 days in detention for you. I hope you've learned your lesson." When you suddenly hear her grumpy husband in the crowd "she also stole a can of peas!!"

Probably done before: What's a pirate's LEAST favourite letter?

Dear Mr Redbeard,
It has come to our attention that you have been illegally duplicating and reselling copywrited movies without permission.
As such, and utilising the full jurisdiction of the Federal Communications Authority, you are subpoenaed to appear before the Federal Supreme Court to face charges on the time and date so indicated below.
Regards,
J. L. Peabody
Chief Video Piracy Investigator

A day in court....

A man appears before a judge one day, asking for divorce.
The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce?"
"Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house."
The judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?"
The man answers, "Well one story is I have a headache and the other story is It's that time of the month!"

A woman is arrested for killing her guitar player husband

She is accused of bashing her husband's head in with his guitars because he never paid any attention to her.
In her first court appearance, the judge looks at the woman and asks: First offender?"
The woman replies: No. First it was a Gretsch, followed by a Gibson, and then a Fender."

When asked for her occupation, A woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher,

The judge rose from the bench. Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court, he smiled with delight. Now sit down at that table and write I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times.

A football fan appears in court for battery

The judge says to the fan: So you are very sure you only threw tomatoes at the referee?
The fan: yes, your honour. I'm very sure.
The Judge: Then how do you explain the deep cuts and bruises on the referees face?
(The judge points at the refs battered face.)
The fan: yeah... they were canned tomatoes...

*A man is trying to prove his innocence in court*

Defendant: "Please your honour, I don't have a single bad bone in my body"
Prosecutor: "Well according to your medical exam it appears you have osteoporosis"
Judge: "Guilty"

Quick, Short, Funny Court Appearance

j**... Bartle was arrested and put on trial for robbing a local shop at gunpoint. In his wisdom he decided that he would represent himself in court. He appeared to be doing reasonably well until the shop's owner took the stand to give his evidence.
She had identified him immediately as the robber, when Bartle jumped up and yelled, 'You're lying! I should have blown your head off!' He paused, then added, 'If I had been the one that was there.'
The jury found him guilty and j**... Bartle was sentenced to thirty years imprisonment.

Contempt Of Court

Having had to take the day off work to appear in court for a minor traffic summons, the man was growing increasingly restless as he waited hour after hour for his case to be heard.
Finally, late in the afternoon, his case was called. He stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned until the next day and he would have to return.
"What!" What for?" he yelled at the judge.
His Honor, equally irritated by a tedious day and the sharp query, roared, "That will be twenty dollars for contempt of court! That's what for!"
Noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge added, "That's all right. You don't have to pay right now."
The man replied, "Oh, I'm just looking to see if I have enough for two more words!"

So I was driving along a country road...

...along a farm on my way to I-79 like I do every weekday morning...
But today I come out of a curve, and saw a farmer's goat and pig right in the middle of the road, just looking at me, right before I struck the goat.
I jammed on the brakes, skid a hundred feet, and sat there in shock (not even wanting to look back in the mirror to see what I had done.)
I got out, see that the goat is dead, looked around, saw no one, and pushed the dead goat off to the side of the road. I got back in my car and started my way back to the highway.
On I-79, a trooper pulled me over, and told me that I am being given tickets and a summons to appear in court for among other things, leaving the scene of an accident.... I was like "What?!"...
The officer said, "Yep, you almost got away with it too!"
I said, "Officer, I need to ask... how did you find out this even happened? There was no one in sight."
He said, "The pig squealed".

Old lady thief....

An 80 year old women was caught shoplifting a can of peaches.
During her court appearance the judge asked the lady "So tell me why did you steal the peaches?" to which the old lady replied, "Your honor I was very hungry because my husband and I have no money to eat".
The judge then asked the old lady "How many peaches were in the tin?"
"Six" she replied.
"Ok i'm going to give you one day in prison for each peach."
All of a sudden, the wife's husband stood up and objected the judge's ruling.
"Your honor I have to admit, last week she stole a can of peas".

Blonde Witness

A blonde named Edna had to appear in court as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor asked her, "Where were you the night of 5th September?"
"Objection!" said the defense attorney. "It's irrelevant!"
"Oh, that's okay," said Edna from the witness stand. "I can answer that question."
"I object!" the defense said again.
"No, really," said Edna. "I don't mind giving the answer."
The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object."
So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of 5th September?"
Edna replied brightly, "I don't know."

In a small Texas town,

the owner of Joe's Bar began construction on a new building to increase his business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week before opening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.
The church folks were rather smug after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its reply to the court.
As the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing, he commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that does not."

Two judges were stumbling home from their local pub, arms around each other, loudly singing Kenny Rodgers. "Hey," said one, "I think we're drunk." "You are right, and according to the law I will have to charge you with being drunk and disorderly," said his mate. "And you will have to appear before me at 10AM tomorrow," said the first. Next morning in court, the first pleaded guilty to the charge and was fined $10. They then switched places. "Drunk and disorderly, eh? You are fined $20." "Hey," protested the first, "When I was in was in chair I only fined you $10!" "Yes," said the second judge, "But the offence is becoming too common. You are the second drunk to appear before the court this morning."

Two judges were stumbling home from their local pub, arms around each other, loudly singing Kenny Rodgers. "Hey," said one, "I think we're drunk." "You are right, and according to the law I will have to charge you with being drunk and disorderly," said his mate. "And you will have to appear before me at 10AM tomorrow," said the first. Next morning in court, the first pleaded guilty to the charge and was fined $10. They then switched places. "Drunk and disorderly, eh? You are fined $20." "Hey," protested the first, "When I was in was in chair I only fined you $10!" "Yes," said the second judge, "But the offence is becoming too common. You are the second drunk to appear before the court this morning."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these court appearance jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.