Courage Jokes

Following is our collection of spunk puns and ashe one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Courage jokes for adults, dirty passports jokes and clean fearless dad gags for kids.

The Best Courage Puns

A man walks up to the Widow at a funeral and asks if he can say a word.

"Of course", she replies.

The man plucks up the courage and says, "Bargain".

The Widow looks at him, teary eyed and says,

"Thank you so much, that means a great deal".

Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.

...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.

8 years ago I worked up the courage to ask the shy, beautiful girl who sat next to me in history class to be my girlfriend. Today, I asked her to be my wife.

She said no both times.

My girlfriend kept insisting that I give her a ring...

It took a while to get comfortable with the idea \(it was a really big decision for me\), but finally I got enough courage to dial the number and have an actual telephone conversation with her.

TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month

But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.

A boy works up the courage to ask the girl he likes on a date

The girl, liking him back, agrees to go on the date.

The boy tells her "Before we go on our date, there's something I have to tell you about myself. I only eat insects."

The girl finds this to be very strange but accepts it because she likes him.

They go out to dinner and the girl orders a steak while the boy eats an arrangement of insects he brought from home.

In the parking lot after dinner the two lock eyes, lean in, and slowly kiss each other. After the kiss the girls eyes are lit up with magic and she asks the boy how their first kiss felt.

The boy replies "I've got butterflies in my stomach."

So this amputee hadn't told his fiance about his condition yet...

and he kept putting it off. Finally, on their wedding night, in bed with the lights out, he screws up his courage.
"Honey, I have a confession to make."
"What is it, dear?"
Instead of answering, he simply takes his brides hand and puts it on the stump of his leg.
"Well!" she exclaims, "This is a surprise! But I'll get the vaseline and see what I can do."

I finally found the courage to tell my little sister that I'm into incest

She took it pretty hard

A man works up courage to ask his wife how many sexual partners she had before him

She says "really?" and goes silent. Doesn't say anything in the morning. Or afternoon. Or the next day. After 3 days, husband approaches his wife and apologetically asks - "Why are you giving me the silent treatment? Are you mad at me for that stupid question?"

Raising her finger she says "Shhh. Be quiet, I'm still counting"

Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for Congress

As they lack a heart, mind, and courage

Trump was rushed to the hospital after learning that 3 Brazilians died from the Coronavirus

Lying in the hospital bed his face still white with shock, he finally got the courage to ask shakily and in a quiet voice, How many people is a brazillion?"

At the Bee Prom...

A young bee nervously flies around hoping to grab a dance with the queen bee. Finally he musters up the courage and talks to her. She looks at him and says "I'll dance with you if you get me some fruit punch"
Excited, the bee zooms to get the punch. He sees the line for nachos, the ice cream machine, the honey line, but after hours of searching he realizes...
There is no punch line

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler. He asks if he can sit with him and ask him some questions, Hitler obliges. After a while the man works up the courage to ask more serious questions.

"How many people did you kill?" asks the man.
"Six million jews and one birthday clown" Hitler answers.

The man's eyes widen.

"Why the clown?" the man asked, after a long period of silence.

Hitler laughs. "I was only joking. See, nobody cares about the Jews!"

I was talking to a woman. After a while she told me she had never been on a date before.

She said, "I've never even asked a man out."

I said, "Why not?"

"I fear rejection," she replied.

"Well," I winked. "Why don't you ask me out?"

She plucked up the courage and said, "Do go on a date?"

I said, "No, thanks. You're not my type."

The road was wet, the moon was high, we were alone, just her and I. The moon was bright, her eyes were too, I knew just what she wanted to do.. So with my courage, I did my best, and placed my hand, upon her breast. I knew she was ready, but I didn't know how..

It was my first time ever, milking a cow.

My uncle's favorite joke.

A man with a wooden eye was always nervous asking girls to dance. He was always scared they would find his wooden eye too scary and say no. But he saw a pretty girl with a harelip across the dance floor and mustered up the courage to ask her to dance. Once he asked, she was ecstatic and couldn't believe someone asked her. She said, "Would I?! Would I?!". The man gets angry and says, "Harelip! Harelip!"

What do you call cattle that don't have courage?


Thanks folks, I wrote this when I was 7 years old!

A boy thinks his English teacher is attractive

One day after school he finally works up the courage to tell her how he feels. "Ms. Smith you're smart and beautiful, can I have sex with you?" The teacher responds, "I don't know, may you have sex with me?"

I'm pretty convinced that tall girls are secretly witches

Every time I try to work up the courage to talk to one, I get turned into a chicken ☠️

Finally got the courage to introduce my girlfriend to my family

Safe to say my wife wasn't happy.

Ig the Knight

Once upon a time, there was a soldier named Ig. In a recent battle, Ig showed courage and bravery, saving 20 men by himself!

To honour Ig's heroic act, the Queen of the kingdom was to knight him. Ig knelt before Her Majesty, as she tapped each shoulder of his with a sword. As she finished, Ig the Knight burst into flames! The Queen, astonished by what happened, asked her squire why he lit on fire.

Stunned, the squire spoke, "Ig...Knighted..."

I finally worked up the courage to tell my parents...

They're gay.

My boss said I "lacked courage" so I walked out...

Got a coffee to calm down and returned to my desk.

I made a joke about ugly people the other day.

Someone walked up to me and hugged me and said " it takes courage to talk about your face"

After years of loneliness, I finaly gathered all my courage to take my ex out

It's good to be a sniper in the US army

God, grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I can not change. The COURAGE to change the things I can

Joe and his friends went to the costume party...

Joe and his friends went to the costume party and were really enjoying themselves.

Then a woman came in. She was wearing nothing at all, but was body-painted in white from head to toes.

The guys struggled to guess what that meant but after few drinks Joe gathered courage and went to ask.

"Excuse me, madam, we were wondering what are you dressed up as? Can you please tell us?"

The woman spreads her legs and says:

"Tooth decay, silly!"

After watching her daily for a few months I finally gathered courage to go talk to her.

Me: I think you are cute, how about we go watch a movie and dinner later tonite?

Her: Sorry, but I don't think coworkers are allowed to date per HR policy.

Me: that should not be a problem as I don't think of you as a coworker. I never see you doing any work.

I got up the courage to try the change machine at the laundromat today

But it must be out of order

my life is still the same

It took a lot of courage but I finally told my girlfriend I couldn't see her anymore.

And of course, just as I expected, she nagged about me always misplacing my glasses.

Which is more courageous a pebble or a stick?

The pebble, it's a little boulder.

How did the hot dog get a date?

He mustard up the courage to ask.

Apparently the top bestseller in Japan right now is "The Courage to be Disliked"

It's aging well for a book printed in the 1930's.

A man sits down at a bar and orders ten shots of vodka

When the bartender finishes pouring them out the man pushes away the first and last shot glass. Another patron, sitting next to him, quietly observes the man doing the exact same thing three times before he gathers up the courage to ask why he doesn't drink the first and last one.

The man looks at him and says: "The first one never goes down properly and the last one always comes back up."

I knew a girl with a wooden eye in high school.

She got up the courage to ask this kid with a harelip out. So she asks "would you like to go to the dance with me?"

He says "Would I? Would I?"

She says "harelip harelip" and walks away.

I worked up the courage to call out my overweight cat today.

I asked him "If you're such a fat cat, where is all your money?"

HORRIBLE joke time!!

So I finally gathered up the courage to ask this girl out, but when I did, she turned me down. I asked her, "Hey, why not?". She said, "Well, because I found out you're a pedophile." I was like, "A pedophile? A pedophile? That's a pretty big word for a 10 year-old."

A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him

Sir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!

My boss looked so surprised and asked

Fur-eel man?

My best friend keeps bagging me for being a virgin

I haven't got the courage to tell him I slept with his sister.

My wife and I have been fighting for 5 years

We are both huge Star Wars fans, but Star Wars alone cannot save a marriage.

I finally got the courage to tell her I didn't think we were right for each other.

Wife - "OK"

Me - "OK? OK???!!! After five years that's all you have to say???"

Wife - "May diforce be with you."

Courage, Discipline, Faith. We are the total package.

Join the United States Postal Service.

What does Indiana Jones drink to reinforce his courage?

A snakebite shot chased by a rolling rock.

G.W.Bush - Dyslexic?

After many speech errors, mispronunciations, apparent Freudian slips, rumors began to swirl that President Bush may be dyslexic. At a press conference the following month, one journalist found the courage to ask "Mr. President, is there any truth the the current rumor that you are, in fact, dyslexic?" To which he emphatically replied, "ON!"

Donald Trump goes to the Wizard of Oz for some help...

He tells the wizard, "I have the best brains, the best heart and the best courage of anyone, but if I'm going to win this election I need to make sure that everyone knows."

The Wizard of Oz looks at him and says, "so you don't need brains, heart or courage? You just need to convince others that you have all three?

The Wizard digs around in a bag and pulls out a bumper sticker. "Here, put this on your car."

Biden 2020

Finally got up enough courage to skinny dip...

...just can't attend the Baptist church any more.

Today I witnessed an elderly man being attacked by 2 men in the street so I summomed up some courage and decided to help.

He didn't stand a chance against the 3 of us.

If you hate living, but don't have the courage to commit suicide...

Just go to Mexico and run for office!

Donald Trump is draining the swamp. He has already fired Tillerson, Shulkin, Bannon, Scaramucci, Priebus

What Bigly courage our President has

Guys I've finally found the courage to come forward about this #MeToo

I was victimized by EA's pay to win pricing strategy

After days of refusing, the boy finally worked up the courage to climb a tall tree

He really went out on a limb

There is an abundance of finally jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 50 funniest jokes and courage puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any shyly witze you can hear about courage.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes