Coupon Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Coupon puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Coupon

People say Millennials are entitled...

but have you ever tried to tell an old lady her coupon has expired?

I'm so broke, I went to check my account balance at the ATM...

And it printed me out a coupon for Ramen Noodles

A salesman with a bad lisp...

came to my front door today. He was giving away a coupon for either free cologne or a free abortion. When I confronted him about it, he simply explained "Eidah way, you're gonna clear tha womb."

Whats faster than a speeding bullet?

A Jew with a coupon

"Jesus, I've come to you for redemption," I pleaded.

"Sorry sir, that coupon is no longer valid," said the Mexican store keeper.

Things not to say on a first date

* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

* I used to come here all the time with my ex.

* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

* I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

As a Jew, I have heard many Jewish jokes, here are a few...

Why do Jews have big noses? because air is free...
Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? Pizza's don't scream in the oven....
What's faster than a speeding bullet? A Jew with a coupon...
How many Jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray...
Why did Hitler kill himself? he saw his gas bill...
Why did Moses split the red sea? He saw a nickle at the bottom...
If you all have any I find them hilarious so please share :)

What happens when you give an Italian a coupon?

It makes the Dego buy faster.

Blowout sale!

Did you hear about the recent sale in SoHo?

People used coupon code RIOT and got 100% off.

I keep my coupons in the fridge

So they don't expire.

I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet

because Pizza Hut will accept all competitors' coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place: Mitch's Pizzeria -- this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza.'

A man parks his car in a 'disabled parking' spot when a traffic policeman shows up.

'Well well well sir,' says the policeman while getting his coupon book 'what is your handicap that allows you to park here?'

After a brief moment of thinking the man awnsers: 'Tourette's sydrome, Cocksucker!'

What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon?

dis counts!!

What do you get from a Hebrew genie?

A coupon for 10% off three Jewishes

I find it crazy how this generation is made out to be the most entitled one...

But have you ever told an old lady her coupon is expired.

What do you call a discount for mustard?

A poupon coupon

Get $10 off any drug purchase by using coupon code "Do you have change?"

How do you start a Revolution on a budget?

Using a Coup-on.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes