coupon Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious coupon puns

People say Millennials are entitled...

but have you ever tried to tell an old lady her coupon has expired?


I'm so broke, I went to check my account balance at the ATM...

And it printed me out a coupon for Ramen Noodles


A salesman with a bad lisp...

came to my front door today. He was giving away a coupon for either free cologne or a free abortion. When I confronted him about it, he simply explained "Eidah way, you're gonna clear tha womb."


Whats faster than a speeding bullet?

A Jew with a coupon


"Jesus, I've come to you for redemption," I pleaded.

"Sorry sir, that coupon is no longer valid," said the Mexican store keeper.


I bought my friend a coupon for an anal bleach.

Some assholes just need to lighten up.


Things not to say on a first date

* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

* I used to come here all the time with my ex.

* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.

* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

* I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.


As a Jew, I have heard many Jewish jokes, here are a few...

Why do Jews have big noses? because air is free...
Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? Pizza's don't scream in the oven....
What's faster than a speeding bullet? A Jew with a coupon...
How many Jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ash tray...
Why did Hitler kill himself? he saw his gas bill...
Why did Moses split the red sea? He saw a nickle at the bottom...
If you all have any I find them hilarious so please share :)


What happens when you give an Italian a coupon?

It makes the Dego buy faster.


I keep my coupons in the fridge

So they don't expire.


What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon?

dis counts!!


I think Pizza Hut is the cockiest pizza chain on the planet

because Pizza Hut will accept all competitors' coupons. That makes me wish I had my own pizza place: Mitch's Pizzeria -- this week's coupon: unlimited free pizza.'


I find it crazy how this generation is made out to be the most entitled one...

But have you ever told an old lady her coupon is expired.


What do you get from a Hebrew genie?

A coupon for 10% off three Jewishes


What do you call a discount for mustard?

A poupon coupon


Get $10 off any drug purchase by using coupon code "Do you have change?"


What do you call a coupon at Taco Bell?

A Senor Discount


What's faster than a bullet?

A Jew with a coupon.


What's faster than a black man running to KFC?

A jew with a free coupon.


My pussy hurts

I guess I should have used that coupon for $5 nail clippings at Petco.


How do you start a Revolution on a budget?

Using a Coup-on.


Mum: Do you think Starbucks will accept this old coffee coupon?

Dad: It's worth a shot.


I'm so broke, when I checked my account balance at the ATM..

It printed me out a coupon for Ramen noodles.


What are the most funny Coupon jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Coupon? Well, here are the best Coupon dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Coupon pick up lines to share with friends.


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