County Sheriff Jokes
8 county sheriff jokes and hilarious county sheriff puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about county sheriff that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Witty County Sheriff Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What is a good county sheriff joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What did the county Sheriff say about the black man who was shot 15 times?
"Worst case of s**... I've ever seen"
Her: I want to be safe so you have to wear a c**...
Him: Don't worry, I'm a Broward County Sheriff Deputy so there's no chance I'll come inside.
If there are four Dallas Cowboys in a car who's driving?
The county sheriff.
Someone stole the toilet from the LA county sheriffs station.
The cops there have nothing to go on.
Texas Sheriffs Deputy Exam
A man in Texas looking to join the Frio County Sheriffs Dept. was being interviewed. The Sergeant doing the interview says, "Your qualifications look good, but there's an attitude suitability test you must pass before you can be accepted."
Then, sliding a Smith and Wesson 45 p**... across the desk, he says to the man, "Take this p**...; go out and shoot six i**... aliens, six m**... dealers, six Muslim extremists, six 'Progressive Liberal' democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" the man asked.
"That's the attitude we're looking for." said the Sergeant, "When can you start?"
The worst stash spot
At the back woods b**...-duck county police station the phone rings...
'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'
'Yes. What can I do for you?'
'Ah'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Mr. Virgil Smith....ya see sir, he's hidin' m**... inside all his firewood pieces! Don't quite know how he gets it inside dem logs, but he's a-hidin' it there.'
'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They searched the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no sign of any m**.... They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?'
'Yup sure did!'
'Did they chop all-a ya'all firewood?'
'Yup!'
'Happy Birthday, buddy!'
Deputy Investigation goes Wrong.
WASHINGTON COUNTY SHERIFF 'S DEPT. Investigation
A Deputy stops at a dairy farm and talks with the old farmer who's the owner.
He tells the farmer, 'I need to inspect your property for i**... grown m**....'
The old Farmer says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'
The officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me"!! Pointing to the badge on his chest he proudly says,
"See this badge"!? "This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…on any land". "No questions asked or answers given". "Have I made myself clear!!??" "Do you understand!!??"
The old farmer nods politely and goes about his chores.
Later, the old guy hears loud screams and spies the deputy running for his life and close behind is the a huge breeder bull.
With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer.
The officer is clearly terrified.
The old farmer immediately throws down his **** fork, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge! Show him your F**king badge!"
m**...-Filled Firewood
At the back woods b**...-duck county police station the phone rings...
'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'
'Yes. What can I do for you?'
'Ah'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Mr. Virgil Smith....ya see sir, he's hidin' m**... inside all his firewood pieces! Don't quite know how he gets it inside dem logs, but he's a-hidin' it there.'
'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They searched the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no sign of any m**.... They sneer at Virgil and leave.
Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.
'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?'
'Yup sure did!'
'Did they chop all-a ya'all firewood?'
'Yup!'
'Happy Birthday, buddy!'
by mid_nite_poet
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