Countryside Jokes

Following is our collection of city puns and mountains one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Countryside jokes for adults, dirty landscape jokes and clean tundra dad gags for kids.

The Best Countryside Puns

Nun joke

Two nuns were bicycling down an old dirt road on the countryside. One nun says, "I've never come this way before." The other replies, "It's the cobblestones."

What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside?

"Shomething'sh Amish..."

A couple got into an argument...

A couple got into an argument while on a drive through the countryside. It got quite heated and neither of the two wanted to concede, so they sat in silence for several kilometers.

As they passed a farm full of pigs bathing in mud, the wife spoke up and said:

"Relatives of yours?"

The man replied:

"In-laws."

A man and his wife drove past the beautiful countryside...

They saw a pig, rolling in the mud, so wife said: "Your relative?"

Man replied: "Yes, mother-in-law."

Baked Beans.

One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"


I took a Scottish girl to the countryside.

"Hello view!" she said, looking out the window of our rented house.

I said, "I love you too..."

Jim and Sarah were driving around the countryside

when they ran over a skunk. "We better take the skunk to the vet, Sarah. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm." "But, Jim, what about the smell?" "Don't worry, the skunk will get used to it."

We were driving through the Welsh countryside when my little girl said…

"Look at that strange animal daddy, man at the back, sheep at the front."

What do you call a critical horse?

A nay-sayer.

Thought of this while delivering mail in the countryside.

My son and I were driving along the countryside.

He looked out the window and said, "Daddy, what are those two cows doing?"

"They are creating children," I replied, stopping the car.

"Is that how you and mummy made me?" he asked.

I said, "Yes, in the middle of a field while people watched."

I was walking through the countryside and I thought to myself, "The world is a wonderful and beautiful place why would anyone ever do drugs?"

...Then I remembered I was on drugs.


Two nuns are out riding their bicycles..

Two nuns are out in the countryside riding ow their bicycles.

The first nun suggested that they take a shortcut.

A few minutes later the second one says: "I've never come this way before."

The first one replies: "Oh, I guess it must be the cobblestones."

Why aren't there metro systems in the countryside?

There are already enough terrains.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the countryside?

One's a pant in the country.

The other's a c××t in the pantry.

"Don't you think it's weird that Italian guy just backpacks through the countryside?"

"Nah, he's just a'roman"

A tourist is cycling in the Dutch countryside...

...when a passing car slows down beside him. The driver rolls down the window and asks You're awfully fast – are you heading to Sexbierum?
The cyclist replies Just the beer and the rum. I'm married.

Have you seen Bobbed Wa?

if you haven't and are curious, drive in the countryside and i'm sure you'll see some, eventually.

Bob walks into a metal bar...

... and he says, "Ow!" because his ears were not able to handle the intensity of the music due to Bob being secluded in the countryside his entire life.

I was walking in the countryside.

I asked a wind generator what kind of music it liked. It was a big metal fan.


Whats the definition of countryside?

Murdering Piers Morgan

There is an abundance of rural jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 20 funniest jokes and countryside puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any backwoods witze you can hear about countryside.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes