Country Name Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Country Name jokes. There are some country name jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these country name puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Hilarious Country Name Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friend

Why are so many Italian men named Tony?

When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...

We need to start giving hurricanes Arab names

Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate

When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.

The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"

Three nuns

Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car crash and all die tragically.

In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"

The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.

"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"

She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and she enters.

Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"

"Eve!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.

St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"

Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."

*Gong!*

Stalin visits a Young Pioneer camp.

He asks one boy, "What is your name, boy?"

"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.

"So tell me, Vovochka," Stalin says, "who is your mother?"

"My mother is the Great Soviet Country!"

"Very good," says Stalin, "and your father?"

"My father is the wise and kind Josef Vissarionovich Stalin!"

Stalin pats Vovochka's cheek: "Marvelous! And what is your greatest desire?"

"To become an orphan."

Speaking in German in Texas

In Texas, there is a town named New Braunfels, where there is a large
German-speaking population.

One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his
hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser
nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." (Translated: "Glad to meet you!
Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.")

The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for
Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

The rancher replied: "Use both hands."

How to take a hurricane seriously

If the US wants to take hurricanes seriously they need to give them Muslim names. We got Irma and people don't care. But when the weatherman starts saying Abdullah is coming at Florida as a category 5, the whole country would evacuate.

So the church is losing money...

...and the friars decide that they need a new income source. To do this, they set up a flower stand, and do a pretty good business selling flowers in the small village. Unfortunately, there is another floral store that is losing business because of the friars. So, they go talk to the friars, telling them to stop selling flowers, because they are losing money. The friars say "no way man, free country, free enterprise."

The owners of the other floral shop decide to get real about these religious flower sellers, so they hire a hitman to go take them out. The hitman, named Hugh, shows up to the friars' store. Hugh, now, he's about 7'1', and 240 pounds of pure muscle. "Hey," he says, "you guys ought to stop sellin flowers." The petrified friars agree that maybe the floral business isn't such a good idea after all, and promptly shut it down.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.

"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.

"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.

"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.

"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.

Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has Hitler seen this map?"

The day my wife found out she was pregnant, everything changed...

My name, my phone number, my address, and my country of residence.

I was on a cross country flight and the stewardess asked me if I wanted any headphones?

I said, "sure, and how did you know my name was Phones?"

You can explore country name reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean country name dad jokes. There are also country name puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Vladimir Putin Travels to an Eastern European Country

He walks up to the customs agent and the agent asks, Name?

Vladimir Putin

Country of Origin?

Russia

Occupation?

No, no. Just visiting.

Can you name even one East African country?

Well, Kenya?

How Canada Was Named

So the dignitaries of the associated Provinces of what we now call "Canada" got together over a game of Scrabble to determine the name of the country. They decided they would pick the name based on the first three letters they grabbed. First one: "C, eh?" Second one, "n, eh?" Third one, "d, eh?"

Blonde joke

So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!

How did Canada get its name?

2 people were walking around, and one says, "Oh this is a good country, eh? What should we name it?" So the other one says, "I agree, what should we name it?" The first one says, "Let's pick letters out of a hat." So they put letters in a hat and start to pull them. "We picked a C eh, N eh, D eh"

How Canada got its name...

They figured out the fairest way to name their country was to pull letters out of a hat. So they gathered around and a guy started pulling letters...

*pulls letter* "C, eh."

*pulls another* "N, eh."

*pulls another* "D, eh."

And that's how Canada got its name.

Stalin visits a group of Little Octobrists.

He asks one boy, "What is your name?"

"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.

Stalin: So tell me , Vovochka, who is your mother?

Vovochka: My mother is the Great Soviet Country!

Stalin: Very good, and your father?

Vovochka: My father is Iosif Vissarionovich Stalin!

Stalin: Marvelous! And what is your greatest desire?

Vovochka: To become an orphan.

Ah, blondes.

Two blondes are driving through farm country. As they are chatting and enjoying the scenery, they notice something unusual and pull over to investigate.

There they see, in the middle of a wheat field, a blonde sitting in a boat rowing furiously but obviously not going anywhere.

After watching for a few minutes, the first blonde says this really pisses me off. Dumb blondes like that one give the rest of us a bad name!

The second blonde says I agree. And if I could swim, I'd go out there and kick her ass!

Since we're at it: Dating in your 30s is like registering a domain name...

The good ones are all taken. But you can always get one from an exotic country...

Origin of Canada

The founding fathers of Canada were trying to figure out what to name the country, but they couldnt decide on a name. They figured to put the letters of the alphabet in a hat and draw them at random.

They pulled the first letter out.
C eh?
Then the next one,
N eh?
One more,
D eh? .

C eh N eh D eh?

Canada

The naming of Canada

Long ago, in a stuffy statehouse, a group of men, living in the northern part of the North American Continent sat around thinking of what to name their new country.

Man 1: So, I don't wanna be stepping on any toes here but I think our country should have a C, eh?

Man 2: Dont'cha know it should have an N, eh?

Man 3: I'm sorry, but I feel it should have a D, eh?

And so, Canada was named.

"Can you tell me the name of an African country ?"

"- I don't know... Kenya ?"

I feel like I've eaten three countries!

...namely Turkey, Chile and Greece.

The United Kingdom.

A country whose name is now ironic.

When Canada became independent, a committee was made to name the new country.

The three men included disagreed on all names brought up so far. Finally, they all decided to just say one letter that they could use to add together to make a name they all agreed on.

The first guy said "C, eh?"

The second guys went "N, eh?"

The last guy goes "D, eh?"

And that's how we got the name Canada.

There's an entire country in Africa without any sit down restaurants.

That's why they named it Togo

The Blonde in the Boat

A blonde was driving down a country road when she spotted another blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a corn field. Being miffed by the ridiculousness of this situation, she pulled her car over and proceeded to yell at the other blonde, You know, it's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and beat you!

Two blondes were driving out in the country side

One looked out the window and saw another blonde in the middle of a field sitting in a rowboat, working the oars.

She pointed her out and said, "Its idiots like that that give us all a bad name."

"You're right," said her companion, "let's go drown her."

I was buying a map of an expensive brand.

When I was looking at the Middle East, I noticed that the countries were improperly named. I thought, maybe its a cheap copy of the brand and not actually from that brand?

So I went up to the shopkeeper, pointed at the improperly named countries in the middle east, and said "Is this fake?"

The shopkeeper replied by saying "No, no, Israel."

If a guy lives in a Spanish speaking country.

And has last name is Rita. He would be SeΓ±or Rita.

Can You Name A Country?

Kenya?

The Naming of Canada

When Sir John A. McDonald and his cronies were trying to figure out a new name for our (soon-to-be) great country, someone had a (typically Canadian) idea:

"Let's put all the letters into a hat and draw three of them.
That will be the new name of this place ..."
So they did ...

The first letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "C" eh!?
The second letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "N" eh!?
The third letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "D" eh!?

I was visiting the country to the north of the US and forgot how to spell its name. So I asked a local and he said

C, eh

N, eh

D, eh

Since he is a country singer...

Shouldn't Keith Urban's last name be Rural?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the country name puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working country name piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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