Country Name Jokes

95 country name jokes and hilarious country name puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about country name that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Country Name Short Jokes

Short country name jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The country name humour may include short country flag jokes also.

  1. Why are so many Italian men named Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...
  2. We need to start giving hurricanes arab names Nobody is going to leave for Irma but if Muhammad was coming the whole country would evacuate
  3. The day my wife found out she was pregnant, everything changed... My name, my phone number, my address, and my country of residence.
  4. I was on a cross country flight and the stewardess asked me if I wanted any headphones? I said, "sure, and how did you know my name was Phones?"
  5. Since we're at it: Dating in your 30s is like registering a domain name... The good ones are all taken. But you can always get one from an exotic country...
  6. There's an entire country in Africa without any sit down restaurants. That's why they named it Togo
  7. If a guy lives in a Spanish speaking country. And has last name is Rita. He would be Señor Rita.
  8. I was visiting the country to the north of the US and forgot how to spell its name. So I asked a local and he said C, eh
    N, eh
    D, eh
  9. Just went on vacation in another country and met a local named Lavee. Nice enough gal but when she gets angry she becomes Livid Lavee the Local
  10. How did Canada get it's name? The forefathers decided the best way to name their new country was to pick letters out of a hat. "C eh, n eh, d eh"

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Country Name One Liners

Which country name one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with country name? I can suggest the ones about country and foreign country.

  1. Can you name even one East African country? Well, kenya?
  2. "Can you tell me the name of an African country ?" "- I don't know... Kenya ?"
  3. I feel like I've eaten three countries! ...namely Turkey, Chile and Greece.
  4. The United Kingdom. A country whose name is now ironic.
  5. Can You Name A Country? Kenya?
  6. Since he is a country singer... Shouldn't Keith Urban's last name be Rural?
  7. Niger should have another g in it's name. Would be fun to have a country named Nigerg.
  8. If Goofy was a country singer, what would his name be? Gawrsh Brooks
  9. My friend Patrick left the country and changed his name He is now an expat
  10. What's the most ironic organization name in the country? Autism *Speaks*
  11. What did the crowd say when I finished my country name puns? East Timor?
  12. Travelers to India joke that the country name is an acronym for, I'll Never Do It Again!
  13. If lami was name of a country would it be called a lamination?
  14. Is your name country crock, cause you can spread for me anytime.
  15. What's the name of the country near Turkey? HUNGRY!!

Country Name Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about country name you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean europe country jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make country name pranks.

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.
He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry."
"Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?"
So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'"
The old man answers, "Is name of owner."
The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"
"Me, is right here," replies the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"
"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?'
He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.'
Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?'
I say, 'Sem Ting.'"

Q- A kid named Monty was born to black parents. What country citizenship will he get?

A- Montenegro

So, Alex had two parrots named Bob and Jim.

Alex was an older gentlemen, retired and fairly religious with lots of time on his hands. He figured it'd be fun to pass his time teaching the parrots to pray the rosary.
Alex went to his church, got a two small sets of rosary beads, gave them to Bob and Jim and got to work. After months of patience and no small amount of personal spiritual meditation, Bob and Jim could work the beads and recite all the prayers of the rosary.
Now, Alex wasn't *that* religious, which is why the first place he took Bob and Jim was the bar to show his friends, but sure enough one thing lead to another, and soon Alex found himself going from church to church across the country introducing folks to his praying parrots.
Alex was having the time of his life! He was so pleased with his adventures that he decided to teach more birds to pray. He went shopping, and found the most beautiful, brightly colored female parrot he'd ever seen. No sooner did he bring the new parrot in the door did he hear Bob say "Hey Jim! Throw out them d**...' beads! We finally got what we was prayin' for!"


Americans: Iran and Iraq are countries, not Apple products, so say their names properly.

Three nuns

Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car c**... and all die tragically.
In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"
The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.
"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"
She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"
The gates open and she enters.
Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"
The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.
St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"
Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."

Blonde joke

So two blondes were driving through the country and noticed another blonde. She was sitting in a rowboat, which was in the middle of a field, and she was trying to row it.
The first blonde said- See, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name.
And the second blonde replied- Yeah! If I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her myself!


Two salesmen are traveling in the country when their car breaks down. The only house around for miles was a large mansion. They knock on the door and a beautiful widow answers the door. Since it is early evening and the garage will not be opened until morning, she offers to let them spend the night in the guest bedrooms.
In the morning they call the tow truck and leave.
About three months later salesman number one opens a letter and can't believe what he reads. He goes to salesman number two and says:
"When we spent the night at the widow's mansion, did you sneak away into her bedroom in the middle of the night?"
"Why, yes I did."
"And did you use my name?"
"Why, yes how did you know?"
"Well, it seems she died and left me her 5 million dollar estate!"

So the church is losing money...

...and the friars decide that they need a new income source. To do this, they set up a flower stand, and do a pretty good business selling flowers in the small village. Unfortunately, there is another floral store that is losing business because of the friars. So, they go talk to the friars, telling them to stop selling flowers, because they are losing money. The friars say "no way man, free country, free enterprise."
The owners of the other floral shop decide to get real about these religious flower sellers, so they hire a hitman to go take them out. The hitman, named Hugh, shows up to the friars' store. Hugh, now, he's about 7'1', and 240 pounds of pure muscle. "Hey," he says, "you guys ought to stop sellin flowers." The petrified friars agree that maybe the floral business isn't such a good idea after all, and promptly shut it down.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Speaking in German in Texas

In Texas, there is a town named New Braunfels, where there is a large
German-speaking population.

One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his
hand to drink water from the rancher's stock pond.

The rancher rolled down the window and shouted: "Sehr angenehm! Trink das Wasser
nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen." (Translated: "Glad to meet you!
Don't drink the water. The cows have crapped in it.")

The man shouted back: "I'm from New York and just down here campaigning for
Obama's health care plan. I can't understand you. Please speak in English."

The rancher replied: "Use both hands."

A teacher was arrested because he attempted to board a flight while possessing a ruler, protractor, and calculator...

(sorry it's *slightly* outdated but funny nonetheless)
A teacher was arrested because he attempted to board a flight while possessing a ruler, protractor, and calculator. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man's a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. The man's been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
Al-gebra is a problem for us, Gonzales said. Its followers desire solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as unknowns,' but we've determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval, with coordinates in every country.
When asked to comment on the arrest, George W. Bush said, If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He'd have given us more fingers and toes. Aides told reporters they couldn't recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

How does this name fit?

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, Hans Olaffsen's Laundry.
Hans Olaffsen?, he muses. How in the world that name fits in here? So he decides to walk into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.
The tourist asks, How did this place get a name like Hans Olaffsen's Laundry?
The old man answers, Is name of owner.
The tourist asks, Well, who and where is the owner? right here,replies the old man.
You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?
Is simple, says the old man. Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, What your name? He say, Hans Olaffsen. Then she look at me and go, What your name?
I say... Sem Ting.

This joke requires you to .

is walking along a country path and comes upon Mark Wahlberg enjoying some c**... with an unfortunate sheep whose head has become stuck in a fence. says, "Hey Marky-Mark, what are you doing to that sheep?" Mark replies, "I was just walking along this path and I saw this sheep with its head stuck in the fence, so I thought I'd have a bit a fun. Care to have a go yourself?" says, "I'd love to" and sticks his head in the fence.

World's Funniest Joke

The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes. Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.
The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject.
The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan,was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester:
*Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"*

The Naming of Canada

When Sir John A. McDonald and his cronies were trying to figure out a new name for our (soon-to-be) great country, someone had a (typically Canadian) idea:
"Let's put all the letters into a hat and draw three of them.
That will be the new name of this place ..."
So they did ...
The first letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "C" eh!?
The second letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "N" eh!?
The third letter is pulled, and our hero shouts - "D" eh!?

Dave is tired of the corporate world and city life so he moves to a small country town....

After a few weeks of not seeing a single soul there was a knock on his door. He opens it to be greeted by a man.
"Welcome to the neighbourhood, my name is Jimbob. I'm your neighbour and would like to invite you to a party"
"That sounds great!" Dave replies.
"Oh it will be, there is gonna be plenty to drink" says Jimbob.
"And when i start gettin tipsy i turn the music up, which gets the party really started, so there will be plenty of dancin" he continues.
"Usually a fight or two breaks out, nothing unusual for these parts" he says
"And always plenty of s**...!!"
Dave is starting to think wow this sounds like a good party and asks "how many people turn up to these types of things?"
"Oh, Just you an me" answers Jimbob

A guy named Charles lived in a foreign country for many many years.

When he came back, everyone started calling him "Harles". Why?

Because long time, no c..

A man named Nate

So, once upon a time in a poor country there was an earthquake. A rock slid down a hill and crushed a town's well. Now the town could not get fresh water and wasn't going to be able to live long. So they tried to move the rock. They got the biggest tree they could find and tried to pry it up, but it didn't budge. Finally, on the second day with no water a man named Nate went to move the rock. He lifted it up with relative ease and moved it. Then the town had fresh water again.
Morale: Better Nate than Lever.

In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.

Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"

Did you know there was once a man so famous that every school in the country has a room named after him?

His name was Jim.

Why are so many Italians named Tony?

Because when they left the old country, immigration officers put a sticker on their lapel that read To NY.

When Canada became independent, a committee was made to name the new country.

The three men included disagreed on all names brought up so far. Finally, they all decided to just say one letter that they could use to add together to make a name they all agreed on.
The first guy said "C, eh?"
The second guys went "N, eh?"
The last guy goes "D, eh?"
And that's how we got the name Canada.

This guy is walking through Chinatown and sees a building with a sign that says "Lars Olafsen's Laundry."

"Lars Olafsen?", he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?"
So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place get a name like Lars Olafsen's Laundry?"
The old man answers "Is name of owner."
The visitor asks, "Well, who is the owner?"
"I am he," answers the old man.
"You? How did you ever get a name like Lars Olafsen?"
The old man replies:
"Many years ago when I come to this country, I was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me was big blond Norwegian. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Lars Olafsen.' She look at me and say, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sam Ting.'

Name a country that doesn't have a letter "A".


Obama went on a run

and fell in a river.
three young boys pulled him out of the river. Obama said my god, you saved the president of your country. name any one thing you want and you'll have it.
The first boy said he wanted a house for his mother, they'd never had a house. Obama bought it.
The second boy wanted to go to Disney world. Obama made it so.
The third boy asked for a wheelchair. Perplexed, Obama said "Why do you need a wheel chair, you seem to walk fine".
The young boy replied "well now, sure. but wait until my dad finds out i saved your life."

Teacher vs Student

Teacher: What's the name of the closest country to USA?
Student: USB.

Driving through the Country

My boyfriend saw a farm as we drove by and read the name out loud- "There's Falak Farm."
I replied- "Yeah, they must grow cucumbers and eggplant there."

Did you know there is a name for successively savouring every alcoholic beverage from a country?

Its called irresponsible drinking.

I was buying a map of an expensive brand.

When I was looking at the Middle East, I noticed that the countries were improperly named. I thought, maybe its a cheap copy of the brand and not actually from that brand?
So I went up to the shopkeeper, pointed at the improperly named countries in the middle east, and said "Is this fake?"
The shopkeeper replied by saying "No, no, Israel."

How Canada got it's name, eh

Three men were hiking in the wilds north of America, in the country that is now known as Canada.
They gradually realize that they are exploring undiscovered territory.
Man 1 looks at his buddies, clearly excited.
I think we discovered a new land, eh! He says enthusiastically.
We're venturing where no men have ever gone before, eh, Man
2 agrees, also excited.
Let's name it, Man 3 decides.
We'll each pick a letter, so it'll be fair, eh!
The three of them agree to this method, and Man 1 begins.
C, eh, Man 1 starts.
N, eh, Man 2 continues.
D, eh, Man 3 finishes.

How to take a hurricane seriously

If the US wants to take hurricanes seriously they need to give them Muslim names. We got Irma and people don't care. But when the weatherman starts saying Abdullah is coming at Florida as a category 5, the whole country would evacuate.

Norwegian last names seem so literal...

So why can't we take a leif out of their book?
Afternote: I know I'm wrong about the language or country or something. Can someone tell me how so?

The kingdom of Yemen had a totally different name when it was still a young country.

It was called Oboy.
I know it's bad, but I had to post it somewhere :')

Two blondes were driving out in the country side

One looked out the window and saw another blonde in the middle of a field sitting in a rowboat, working the oars.
She pointed her out and said, "Its idiots like that that give us all a bad name."
"You're right," said her companion, "let's go drown her."

When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.

The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"

Vladimir Putin Travels to an Eastern European Country

He walks up to the customs agent and the agent asks, Name?
Vladimir Putin
Country of Origin?
No, no. Just visiting.

Why do people from communist countries have such long names?

Cause they've never seen short forms.

Did you hear the story of how Canada was named?

Many years ago, all the elders came together to name their wonderful country. The elders argued for many days, and could not come to an agreement on the name. One brilliant elder came up with a great idea, they would put all the letters of the alphabet into a hat, pull them out, one at a time, and that's what the name of their new country would be.
Of course, the elder who came up with the idea was chosen to pull the letters out of the hat.
C, eh.
N, eh.
D, eh

How Canada Was Named

So the dignitaries of the associated Provinces of what we now call "Canada" got together over a game of Scrabble to determine the name of the country. They decided they would pick the name based on the first three letters they grabbed. First one: "C, eh?" Second one, "n, eh?" Third one, "d, eh?"

There was once man named tom

There was once a man named Tom
Who dropped an atomic bomb
On the country we call Japan
He said next was Afghanistan
As he came in his palm

What do Arnold Schwarzenegger and Adolf h**... have in common?

They are both politicians, their name starts with A, they are from Austria, and are seen as national hero's in a foreign country.

What do Russians and Lord of the Rings fans have in common?

They memorize the names of a bunch of made-up countries (Luhansk, Donetsk, Crimea)

I'm nine years old

\-My name is Yusef, I come from another country, I am nine years old and I like to enjoy prostitutes and cigarettes.
\-You what!?

Say what you like about Mugabe

But name one other president who made everyone in his country a billionaire.

The Blonde in the Boat

A blonde was driving down a country road when she spotted another blonde sitting in a row boat in the middle of a corn field. Being miffed by the ridiculousness of this situation, she pulled her car over and proceeded to yell at the other blonde, You know, it's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name! If I could swim, I would come out there and beat you!

An Irish man and his Canadian friend walk into a bar

The two get quite drunk. The Canadian friend says "hey, in English (Canadian) Canada is called CND, but while repeating the name to an englishman, we spell it out saying -CND, C, eh, N, eh, D, eh". The irish man laughs, so the Friend continues," what is your country's name in its native language." The name is Éire." " Éire, eh," but the friend doesn't catch his mistake. A car explodes outside. The man says to the friend," Tiocfaidh ár lá, comrade!" before leaving while putting on a Balaclava. The friend never sees him again.

The naming of Canada

Long ago, in a stuffy statehouse, a group of men, living in the northern part of the North American Continent sat around thinking of what to name their new country.
Man 1: So, I don't wanna be stepping on any toes here but I think our country should have a C, eh?
Man 2: Dont'cha know it should have an N, eh?
Man 3: I'm sorry, but I feel it should have a D, eh?
And so, Canada was named.

Considering the recent name changes of country music groups "The Chicks" & "Lady A" ...

... the famous paper drinking cups (the brand with the now-t**... southern-sounding name) will likely be named "Deez Cups", but only sold at "Winn-Deez" (as the grocery store chain decided to alter its name as well).

So donald trump went to visit the queen of England the other day...

Donald trump went to visit the queen of England the the other day, he says to her:
I'd like to change the name of the united states to the empire of the united states."
and she says "no I'm sorry sir, for you to have an empire you'd need to be an emperor, and you sir are no emperor."
he says "well how about the kingdom of the united states?"
and she says "no I'm sorry sir, for you to have a kingdom you must be a king, and you sir are no king"
he goes "well what then"
and she says "i think it would be best if you stayed a country

Origin of Canada

The founding fathers of Canada were trying to figure out what to name the country, but they couldnt decide on a name. They figured to put the letters of the alphabet in a hat and draw them at random.
They pulled the first letter out.
C eh?
Then the next one,
N eh?
One more,
D eh? .
C eh N eh D eh?

Mexican dude flees to the US without realizing that Trump's in office.

Mexican dude flees to the US without realizing that Trump's in office. Changes identity and calls himself Ted. Trump throws out all the Mexicans but Ted (who was previously Juan), just graffitis "Still Mexican. Still here." at random places around the country. The cops can't find him but they do know of his past and current name. The search begins for the most Mexican looking vandal with a fake white name.
-roll credits-
Most Juan Ted.

How Canada got its name...

They figured out the fairest way to name their country was to pull letters out of a hat. So they gathered around and a guy started pulling letters...
*pulls letter* "C, eh."
*pulls another* "N, eh."
*pulls another* "D, eh."
And that's how Canada got its name.

How did Canada get its name?

2 people were walking around, and one says, "Oh this is a good country, eh? What should we name it?" So the other one says, "I agree, what should we name it?" The first one says, "Let's pick letters out of a hat." So they put letters in a hat and start to pull them. "We picked a C eh, N eh, D eh"

Stalin visits a group of Little Octobrists.

He asks one boy, "What is your name?"
"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.
Stalin: So tell me , Vovochka, who is your mother?
Vovochka: My mother is the Great Soviet Country!
Stalin: Very good, and your father?
Vovochka: My father is Iosif Vissarionovich Stalin!
Stalin: Marvelous! And what is your greatest desire?
Vovochka: To become an orphan.

Stalin visits a Young Pioneer camp.

He asks one boy, "What is your name, boy?"
"My name is Vovochka Karpov, Comrade Stalin" says the boy.
"So tell me, Vovochka," Stalin says, "who is your mother?"
"My mother is the Great Soviet Country!"
"Very good," says Stalin, "and your father?"
"My father is the wise and kind Josef Vissarionovich Stalin!"
Stalin pats Vovochka's cheek: "Marvelous! And what is your greatest desire?"
"To become an orphan."

Ah, blondes.

Two blondes are driving through farm country. As they are chatting and enjoying the scenery, they notice something unusual and pull over to investigate.
There they see, in the middle of a wheat field, a blonde sitting in a boat rowing furiously but obviously not going anywhere.
After watching for a few minutes, the first blonde says this really p** off. Dumb blondes like that one give the rest of us a bad name!
The second blonde says I agree. And if I could swim, I'd go out there and kick her a**...!