Countertop Jokes

Following is our collection of metamorphic puns and granite one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Countertop jokes for adults, dirty congregations jokes and clean schist dad gags for kids.

The Best Countertop Puns

A nervous man walks into the bar

He goes to the counter and starts eating the nuts. Suddenly he hears a voice say you're handsome coming from the countertop, he looks around to find the source of the voice, but is unable to do so.

He continues eating the nuts when the voice once again says you have nice hair.

The man realises that the voice was coming from the nuts. He asks the bartender what's up with these nuts?

The bartender replies: oh those? They're complementary!

My cheap laminated countertop just collapsed

I suppose I always took it for granite.

I don't know how people in the counter-top business make any money

Everything they do is counter-productive

What did the countertop say to the pizza dough?

You're so kneady.

Why did the marble countertop leave the kitchen?

It was tired of being taken for granite.


What did the Solid Surface countertop say to the Stone countertop?

Hey! Don't take me for granite!

I work at a countertop manufacturing company. Thought of this on break earlier. 😃

There is an abundance of shelf jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 6 funniest jokes and countertop puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any marble witze you can hear about countertop.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes