Counterfeit Jokes
42 counterfeit jokes and hilarious counterfeit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about counterfeit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Counterfeit Short Jokes
Short counterfeit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The counterfeit humour may include short faked jokes also.
- Cashier: that'll be $19.99 Me: *pulls out a $50*
Cashier: sorry we've been having problems with counterfeit money… Have anything smaller?
Me: Sure! *pulls out a $30* - If I had a dollar for every gender there was... I'd have 2 dollars and a whole lot of counterfeits.
- Counterfeit $1 bills reportedly found in circulation Be on the lookout for hot singles in your area.
- Once I had a machine that made counterfeit pennies. I regret it now, but it made a lot of cents at the time.
- If I had a dollar for every gender there was... ...I would have 2 dollars and run a counterfeit money smuggling ring.
- Today I gave a homeless person a warm new home.. I gave him counterfeit money to buy food which got him arrested.
Now he's got a warm jail and free meals twice a day. - You know if you gave me a dollar for every gender there is I would have 2 dollars... and a whole bunch of counterfeits.
- There's a new scam involving counterfeit copper tone sunscreen. Police are warning the public to read the ingredient list to avoid getting burned.
- What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny woman? One is a phony buck...
- I before e Except for when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleigh from feisty caffeinated weightlifters.
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Counterfeit One Liners
Which counterfeit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with counterfeit? I can suggest the ones about unoriginal and authentic.
- If I had a dollar for every gender I'd have two dollars and a bunch of counterfeits
- If I had a nickel for every gender... I would have 10 cents and a lot of counterfeits.
- I am a professional counterfeiter. I even have the certificates to prove it.
- If i had 5 euros for evey gender.... i would have 10 euros and alot of counterfeit money
- If I had a quarter for every existing gender, I'd have $0.50 and a bunch of counterfeits
- If I got 5 dollars for every gender I'd have $10 and a lot of counterfeit money
- I want to be a counterfeiter when I grow up! I hear they make good money
- People who make counterfeit batteries.... Belong in cells
- Boss asked me to buy counterfeit detector pens... I said I'll just get the real ones.
- I was duped into buying counterfeit The Who merchandise. Won't get fooled again!
- What country has the least counterfeit money? Brazil
All their money is real - If I had a dollar for each gender I would have $2...
And 179 counterfeits. - What do you call a counterfeit cow? Sham moo.
- Who is the best counterfeiter in Starfleet? Geordi LaForge.
- What do you call a counterfeit receipt for a memory consultant? A Freudilent slip.
Laughter Counterfeit Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
What funny jokes about counterfeit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean genuine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make counterfeit pranks.
Change for a $15 bill
An incompentent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.
He figures that the only way he's going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren't too bright and change his phoney money for real cash.
He travels to a small town and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man behind the counter and asks him, "Do you have change for a $15 bill?"
The old man replies, "I sure do...How would you like that? An eight and a seven or two sixes and a three?"
An individual walks into a restaurants, orders and eats his meal
"That'll be $13.45." says the waiter.
The individual pulls out a $50 bill.
"Sorry, we've had issues with counterfeit money lately. Do you have any smaller bills?" asks the waiter.
"Sure, no problem.." The individual pulls out a $25 bill, pays with it and leaves.
A man walks into a grocery store
After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $55 bill
My uncle used to counterfeit pennies...
My uncle used to counterfeit pennies out of real copper, but got copper poisoning. At least, we think that's what happened, because one day he just stopped making sense.
So a guy was making counterfeit money and accidently prints $21 bills.
He decides he could go to a small town gas station where the cashier isn't too bright and see about exchanging them for real cash. He gets there and asks the cashier for his change and the cashier responds "Not a problem. Do you want 7 - $3 bills or 3 - $7 bills?"
Due to an increase in popularity, koi farmers are discovering an increase in counterfeit fish.
They've begun using a lettered grading scale:
As are the most rare of purebred koi's
Bs are the more common variety purebred koi's
Cs are mix/hybrid koi's
Everything else are D koi's
A woman walks into a bar
She sits at the counter and orders a salad with croutons and a creamy dressing.
The waiter delivers her salad, and she hands him a crisp $20 bill. As the waiter walks back to the cash register he holds it to the light and realizes it's a counterfeit! He snaps around to see the woman grabbing her salad and running for the door.
He shouts at the top of his lungs "Seize her salad!"
I fondly remember my dad telling me this one, but i never understood it until recently.
A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway.
He went to the teller at the local bank and asked for change.
The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.
A forger was arrested and thrown in jail for making counterfeit money
Later, a reporter visited his cell for an interview and asked him Why did you make counterfeit money?
The forger thought for a while before he replied, saying Because making real money is impossible.
A man decides to put his counterfeit 30 dollar bills into circulation.
He decides that a small town would be the best place to put them into circulation. "No one will know" he thinks. When he enters the store he chose to start breaking them up, he tells the cashier, "I got these brand new, shiny 30 dollar bills, Can you break them for me?" She says, "Sure, do you want it in 15's or 6's?"
A man counterfeits $18 bills...
...and needs to get rid of them, so he takes a trip through rural Iowa. Coming to a small general store at a remote crossroads, he goes in and asks the old man behind the counter if he would please break his bill. The old man replies, "Sure, would you like 2 nines or 3 sixes?"
(OC) I started stealing granite tops from peoples kitchens and replacing them with fakes...
I keep having troubles getting the counterfeit.
(Its probably been done before because the pun is so obvious but I haven't yet heard it.)
Holiday scams
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and hands over a few singles to pay for it. The bartender picks up the $1 bills and carefully scutinizes them, holding them up to the light. "What are you doing?" the guy asks. "There's a new scam going around this holiday season," the bartender replies. "People are passing around counterfeit $1 bills, so be careful. "So, what you're telling me is I should keep an eye out for hot singles in my area," the guy says.
