Countdown Jokes
27 countdown jokes and hilarious countdown puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about countdown that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article presents a collection of countdown jokes and puns for all occasions. Learn the ultimate jokes for that special wedding, birthday or Christmas countdown. Give friends and family a great laugh with puns about doomsday, count downs, cats, and the infamous “Polak”. Get ready to count down to the funniest jokes around!
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Funniest Countdown Short Jokes
Short countdown jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The countdown humour may include short tick tock jokes also.
- Apparently the Brexit is inspiring other countries to hold their own referenda, and could lead to the breakup of the EU. Could this be The Final Countdown for Europe?
- A Mexican magician was performing a magic show He said that he will vanish by the count of 3. So he started the countdown
Uno
Dos
And then he vanished without a tres - Career counsellor: "Why did you flop during the interview at Houston Space Centre?" Billy: "I failed the countdown bit." "What did you say?" "Countdown 1...2...3...4...
- Why was the New Years countdown this year longer than the rest? Because it is 20 19, 18, 17, 16...
- I heard the band Europe wrote a song about the days leading to the end-of-semester exams. It was the finals countdown.
:D - With the decline of newspapers worldwide, staff in-house have been referring to the obituaries as the Subscriber Countdown
- I never want to go to the New Years Countdown ever again! I just got out of prison for Assault. I got really nervous because an Arab was next to me counting down from 10. So I punched him...
- Why do old fashioned races start with a countdown from a bikini model? It's the thot that counts
- 30 seconds left on the microwave. Women: set table, pour drinks, tweet, talk on the phone. Men: do the space shuttle countdown.
- What do you call Dracula's r**... cousin? Countdown
This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.
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Countdown One Liners
Which countdown one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with countdown? I can suggest the ones about time clock and alarm clock.
- Today is the final countdown... 4-3-21
- What do you sing when you kill Dracula's last clone? "It's the final countdown"
- Roy Moore missed the New Years Eve countdown. He's demanding a recount.
- Tomorrow will be the final countdown... 4.3.21
- The band Europe is rereleasing their greatest hits on records. It's the vinyl countdown.
- How many countdown contestants does it take to change a blibulght?
- Why was 4 never suprised? Because the countdown ended at 3.
- What is Australian cuisine called? Prison Food
Source: 8 out of 10 Cats does Countdown - TheFineBros' loss of subscribers should be called... The Fine-al Countdown.
- Countdown is Dracula's r**... brother.
Gather Around for Fun Countdown Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about countdown you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean calendar up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make countdown pranks.
The Millenium Falcon is taking off...
Han Solo asks C3PO to give him a countdown, and C3PO says..
"10....8.....6.....4"
Han interrupts him and asks what the heck he's doing.
C3 says "You told me to never tell you the odds"
First I got a tattoo on my cervical that said "5".
Next, I got one on my thoracic that said "4"
Then, I got one on my lumbar that said "3"
After that, I got one on my Sacrum that said 2"
And now, I'm getting one on my Coccyx that says "1"
It's the spinal countdown.
A Mexican magician tells a crowd he's going to disappear on the count of three...
He begins the countdown. "Uno, dos..." then, p**...! He disappeared without a tres.
My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Countdown with them
"What's that?", I replied, "Dracula's r**... brother?"
The Bikers
A biker with a racing bike brags before chopper bikers and dares them to race. Despite he's obviously faster, the oldest of the chopper bikers agrees. The racing biker wants to bet $1000, but the chopper owner has no money so they agree to race for the honor of the victory.
They get ready for the uneven race. A countdown is proclaimed and the racing biker speeds away. The old biker shuts off his bike and returns to his beer.
An old Joke by Lee Mack on... 8 out of 10 Cats plays Countdown, I believe?
I popped into an second-hand store the other day and bought a pencil. What's remarkable about the pencil, is that it used to be used by Shakespeare!
...Only thing is, the top part is all chewed up, so I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
