Countdown Jokes

Following is our collection of polak puns and metre one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Countdown jokes for adults, dirty finale jokes and clean requirements dad gags for kids.

The Best Countdown Puns

The Millenium Falcon is taking off...

Han Solo asks C3PO to give him a countdown, and C3PO says..


Han interrupts him and asks what the heck he's doing.

C3 says "You told me to never tell you the odds"

First I got a tattoo on my cervical that said "5".

Next, I got one on my thoracic that said "4"

Then, I got one on my lumbar that said "3"

After that, I got one on my Sacrum that said 2"

And now, I'm getting one on my Coccyx that says "1"

It's the spinal countdown.

What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin?


This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share.

A Mexican magician tells a crowd he's going to disappear on the count of three...

He begins the countdown. "Uno, dos..." then, poof! He disappeared without a tres.

My friend asked me if I wanted to watch Countdown with them

"What's that?", I replied, "Dracula's retarded brother?"

What do you sing when you kill Dracula's last clone?

"It's the final countdown"

Roy Moore missed the New Years Eve countdown.

He's demanding a recount.


is Dracula's retarded brother.

The band Europe is rereleasing their greatest hits on records.

It's the vinyl countdown.

Apparently the Brexit is inspiring other countries to hold their own referenda, and could lead to the breakup of the EU.

Could this be The Final Countdown for Europe?

A Mexican magician was performing a magic show

He said that he will vanish by the count of 3. So he started the countdown



And then he vanished without a tres

Career counsellor: "Why did you flop during the interview at Houston Space Centre?" Billy: "I failed the countdown bit." "What did you say?"

"Countdown 1...2...3...4...

I heard the band Europe wrote a song about the days leading to the end-of-semester exams.

It was the finals countdown.


With the decline of newspapers worldwide, staff in-house have been referring to the obituaries

as the Subscriber Countdown

Why was the New Years countdown this year longer than the rest?

Because it is 20 19, 18, 17, 16...

I never want to go to the New Years Countdown ever again!

I just got out of prison for Assault. I got really nervous because an Arab was next to me counting down from 10. So I punched him...

How many countdown contestants does it take to change a blibulght?

Why do old fashioned races start with a countdown from a bikini model?

It's the thot that counts

There is an abundance of clock jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes and countdown puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any clockwork witze you can hear about countdown.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes