The Best 40 Counselor Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Counselor jokes. There are some counselor mentor jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these counselor consultant puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Counselor Jokes and Puns

John( talking to his counselor ): My wife just hired a young,handsome and muscular man to be our driver..

Counselor: So,you're jealous?

John: No,im just wondering?

Counselor: Wondering about what?

John: We dont have a car.

Redneck Logic Joke

Two rednecks, Hunter and Cooter decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" the Cooter asked.

The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.

"That's real good!" said Cooter.

The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, Cooter said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"

Cooter was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

Cooter, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied Cooter.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked Cooter.

"No," Hunter replied.

"Then you're gay."

Annual Sex

An elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age.

The old man responded, Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!

Counselor joke, Annual Sex

Why did Micheal Jackson want to be a camp counselor?

He would give Merit Badges for pitching a tent.

My counselor suggested I take Sign language in school...

She said it was pretty handy


Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots...

because they take arguments and return values.

What did the Spanish guidance counselor tell his students?

You have to have gooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllssssssssss!!!!!

Counselor joke, What did the Spanish guidance counselor tell his students?

Why did the soccer coach become a high school counselor.

Because he wanted his team to make more goals

Why did the melons go to the marriage counselor?

Because they cant eloup

post-graduate plans

My college counselor asked me what my post-graduate plans were, and I told her I was interested in cleaning mirrors. When she asked why, I just shrugged and told her it was a job I could see myself doing.

A guidance counselor once told me that I would come into my own some day.

I've been trying for years, but I'm just not flexible enough.

You can explore counselor marriage reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean counselor marriage counselor dad jokes. There are also counselor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A married couple come to the marriage counselor...

A married couple come to the marriage counselor. The wife complains:
- We were having a perfect marriage until his girlfriend started dating my boyfriend..

Bill Clinton was seeing his counselor...

And his counselor asked how Hillary's head was doing with all this e-mail controversy. Bill replied, "Still not as good as Monica's."

What do you call an angry counselor?

Thera-*pissed*

My wife and I have been seeing a counselor for our sex life, and things have really been improving.

We take turns on her.

Charlie Brown, now a young adult, sits with an academic advisor before enrolling in college....

He tells her he wants to be a counselor, but isn't sure what direction to go.

She looks over his scores as says, "I think you'd make a good grief counselor."

Counselor joke, Charlie Brown, now a young adult, sits with an academic advisor before enrolling in college....

Immaturity defined

Husband says to marriage counselor:
"My wife is so immature."
"Can you give me an example?" the counselor asked.
"Well, like every time I'm taking a bath she comes in and sinks all my ships."

A wife dragged her husband to their marriage counselor appointment with his fishing net.

"Do you see what I have to put up with," the wife says.

"Yes," said the counselor. "He's obviously in seine."

My High School Counselor saw that I have two D's

She says i should probably see a doctor


A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry.

Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.

"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

So I'm a Camp Counselor taking a short nap at work....

And I'm laying my head on my backpack. One of campers says "What're you doing?"
I reply. "Taking a nap on my pillow."
She says, "That's not a pillow."
I respond, "Anythings a pillow, if you put your mind to it."

My marriage counselor asked if it was true that I generally wake up grumpy in the morning

I said, "Nah, most of the time I just let her sleep"

My high school guidance counselor told me I'd never become anything as an adult.

Jokes on her. I became miserable!

My high school guidance counselor told me I'll always be useless

So I became a guidance counselor.

A married couple goes to a marriage counselor...

"What seems to be the problem?", asks the counselor

The wife says, "My husband wont talk to me anymore."

The counselor turns to the husband and asks, "Is this true?"

The husband replies "Well i dont like to interrupt."

My wife was not happy after our marriage counselor asked me what I hoped to be in a year.

I replied, A widower.

My chemistry teacher also works as an addiction counselor

He's helping me treat my Polonium Radon addiction.

Why is Obi-wan Kenobi a terrible marriage counselor?

The only advice he gives is Use di-
vorce

My friend gave me the phone number for an Anger Management Counselor the other day

I admit, I lost it

Why did the Grief Counselor cross the road?

\-To get to the other sigh...

My marriage counselor told me to try anything my wife wants to do for at least 10 minutes.

So she asked me to hold my breath.

My wife and I started visiting a marriage counselor

He mentioned that I should start to treat her like our first date
So I took her to dinner, a movie, then dropped her off at her parents house.

An eye is going to anger management

The counselor asks the eye why are you currently in anger management? To which the eye responds Eyelash out at people when I get angry and I can't stop.

My grief counselor died recently

Clearly did a good job, because I didn't care

My grief counselor died the other day

He was so good, that I didn't even care

I told my guidance counselor i want to be a comedian when im older, and she just laughed at me.

It's going great so far.

Marriage counselor: What's the problem? Me: My wife needs help. Every night, she's roaming from one bar to another. She has to stop it. Marriage counselor: Is she an alcoholic?

Me: No, she's looking for me

Bloody hell He was good

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

Same service...

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring me water and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it\`s all different. I come home, the dog brings the water and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain ?" said the counselor, "You re still getting the same service!"

My grief counselor just died

He was so good, I didn't give a shit.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the counselor intimacy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working counselor advisor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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