Counselor Jokes

60 counselor jokes and hilarious counselor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about counselor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Need a good laugh? Check out these hilarious counselor jokes! From summer camp counselors to marriage counselors, these jokes will have you giggling. Students, mental health counselors, principals, and even those uninterested in counseling can appreciate these marriage and counseling jokes.

Best Short Counselor Jokes

Short counselor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The counselor humour may include short counsellor jokes also.

  1. I just found out that my Grief Counselor died Luckily, he was so good at his job, I don't really give a toss
  2. My marriage counselor asked if it was true that I generally wake up grumpy in the morning I said, "Nah, most of the time I just let her sleep"
  3. My high school guidance counselor told me I'd never become anything as an adult. Jokes on her. I became miserable!
  4. My high school guidance counselor told me I'll always be useless So I became a guidance counselor.
  5. I told my guidance counselor i want to be a comedian when im older, and she just laughed at me. It's going great so far.
  6. My grief counselor just died… must have been doing a great job 'cause i didn't care at all
  7. The marriage counselor suggested we try different positions. I said, "We can't be too long, my wife is on the way."
  8. Why is Obi-wan Kenobi a terrible marriage counselor? The only advice he gives is Use di-
  9. Bill Clinton was seeing his counselor... And his counselor asked how Hillary's head was doing with all this e-mail controversy. Bill replied, "Still not as good as Monica's."
  10. My Future I have a lot more trust and faith in my guidance counselor's advice after getting an empty fortune cookie at a chinese restaurant.

Quick Jump To

Counselor joke, My Future

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about counselor can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of counselor puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Counselor One Liners

Which counselor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with counselor? I can suggest the ones about consultant and tutor.

  1. My grief counselor suddenly died. Fortunately he was excellent so I don't care.
  2. My grief counselor died recently Clearly did a good job, because I didn't care
  3. My grief counselor died He was so good, I don't even care.
  4. My grief counselor died the other day He was so good, that I didn't even care
  5. My grief counselor died and I don't care. I guess he was good at his job.
  6. What did the counselor say to the hologram? You're projecting.
  7. My counselor suggested I take Sign language in school... She said it was pretty handy
  8. Why did the melons go to the marriage counselor? Because they cant eloup
  9. My High School Counselor saw that I have two D's She says i should probably see a doctor
  10. Why did the Grief Counselor cross the road? \-To get to the other sigh...
  11. What was the Bible Camp counselor's favorite Pokemon? Pikachu
  12. My grief counselor just died He was so good, I didn't give a s**....
  13. What do you call an angry counselor? Thera-*p**...*

Marriage Counselor Jokes

Here is a list of funny marriage counselor jokes and even better marriage counselor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My wife was not happy after our marriage counselor asked me what I hoped to be in a year. I replied, A widower.
  • My wife and I started visiting a marriage counselor He mentioned that I should start to treat her like our first date
    So I took her to dinner, a movie, then dropped her off at her parents house.
  • A wife dragged her husband to their marriage counselor appointment with his fishing net. "Do you see what I have to put up with," the wife says.
    "Yes," said the counselor. "He's obviously in seine."
  • Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots... because they take arguments and return values.
  • My marriage counselor told me to try anything my wife wants to do for at least 10 minutes. So she asked me to hold my breath.
  • What did the marriage counselor say when asked if his methods work? It has worked for a couple.

Guidance Counselor Jokes

Here is a list of funny guidance counselor jokes and even better guidance counselor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A guidance counselor once told me that I would come into my own some day. I've been trying for years, but I'm just not flexible enough.
  • What did the Spanish guidance counselor tell his students? You have to have gooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllssssssssss!!!!!
  • Why did all of the frog guidance counselor's students become construction workers? The only advice he could give them was "rivet, rivet."

School Counselor Jokes

Here is a list of funny school counselor jokes and even better school counselor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the soccer coach become a high school counselor. Because he wanted his team to make more goals
Counselor joke, Why did the <a href="/coach-jokes.html" title="Coach jokes">soccer coach</a> become a high school co

Gather Around for Heartwarming Counselor Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about counselor you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean therapist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make counselor prank.

John( talking to his counselor ): My wife just hired a young,handsome and muscular man to be our driver..

Counselor: So,you're jealous?
John: No,im just wondering?
Counselor: Wondering about what?
John: We dont have a car.

r**... Logic Joke

Two r**..., Hunter and c**... decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.
The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.
"What's logic?" the c**... asked.
The counselor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a w**... eater?"
"I sure do."
"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the counselor.
"That's real good!" said c**....
The counselor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."
Impressed, c**... said, "Amazing!"
"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."
"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!"
c**... was catching on.
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the counselor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"
c**..., proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Hunter was still waiting.
"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked Hunter.
"Math, history, and logic!" replied c**....
"What in tarnation is logic?" asked Hunter.
"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a w**... eater?" asked c**....
"No," Hunter replied.
"Then you're gay."

post-graduate plans

My college counselor asked me what my post-graduate plans were, and I told her I was interested in cleaning mirrors. When she asked why, I just shrugged and told her it was a job I could see myself doing.

A married couple come to the marriage counselor...

A married couple come to the marriage counselor. The wife complains:
- We were having a perfect marriage until his girlfriend started dating my boyfriend..

My wife and I have been seeing a counselor for our s**... life, and things have really been improving.

We take turns on her.

Charlie Brown, now a young adult, sits with an academic advisor before enrolling in college....

He tells her he wants to be a counselor, but isn't sure what direction to go.
She looks over his scores as says, "I think you'd make a good grief counselor."

Immaturity defined

Husband says to marriage counselor:
"My wife is so immature."
"Can you give me an example?" the counselor asked.
"Well, like every time I'm taking a bath she comes in and sinks all my ships."

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which of them to marry.

Finally he went to a marriage counselor. When asked to describe his two loves, he noted that one was a great poet and the other made delicious pancakes.
"Oh" said the counselor, "I see what the problem is. You can't decide whether to marry for batter or verse."

So I'm a Camp Counselor taking a short nap at work....

And I'm laying my head on my backpack. One of campers says "What're you doing?"
I reply. "Taking a nap on my pillow."
She says, "That's not a pillow."
I respond, "Anythings a pillow, if you put your mind to it."

A married couple goes to a marriage counselor...

"What seems to be the problem?", asks the counselor
The wife says, "My husband wont talk to me anymore."
The counselor turns to the husband and asks, "Is this true?"
The husband replies "Well i dont like to interrupt."

My chemistry teacher also works as an addiction counselor

He's helping me treat my Polonium Radon addiction.

An eye is going to anger management

The counselor asks the eye why are you currently in anger management? To which the eye responds Eyelash out at people when I get angry and I can't stop.

Marriage counselor: What's the problem? Me: My wife needs help. Every night, she's roaming from one bar to another. She has to stop it. Marriage counselor: Is she an alcoholic?

Me: No, she's looking for me

b**... h**... He was good

My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

Same service...

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring me water and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it\`s all different. I come home, the dog brings the water and my wife runs around barking."
"Why complain ?" said the counselor, "You re still getting the same service!"

An IT technician and his wife go to marriage counseling The IT technician's wife frustratedly explains to the counselor

"Everything would be fine... but my husband just doesn't want to have s**... with me!"
The counselor thinks for a second, then wonders:
"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

What did the career counselor say to the midget p**...?

"You have many other talents, I think you're selling yourself short here."

Counselor joke, I just found out that my Grief Counselor died

jokes about counselor

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these counselor jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.