Counsellor Jokes
23 counsellor jokes and hilarious counsellor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about counsellor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Brighten up any day with a few counsellor jokes! From camp counsellors to school counsellors, this article covers all the funny one-liners and puns you need to take a light-hearted look at the important role of mentoring and lifestyle guidance. Let the repetition of hilarious jokes add a giggle to your day!
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Funniest Counsellor Short Jokes
Short counsellor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The counsellor humour may include short counselor jokes also.
- Why was Obi Wan Kenobi fired from his job as a marriage guidance counsellor? He kept telling people to "use divorce"
- The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution. I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree.
- Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today. The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?" "Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."
- What quality did Vincent Van Gogh have that would have made him a good counsellor? He had the quality of lending an ear.
- My counsellor told me I needed to get in touch with my inner self. So I've switched to single ply toilet paper.
- A gay student complained to his counsellor about bullying He said he was sick of the other kids taking his brunch money.
- What did Demi Lovato's counsellor tell her in rehab? If you take that, I think you'll have a heart attack.
- Why do Jedis make bad marriage counsellors? Their only advice to males is "use the force".
- Counsellor at a 'plastic surgery addicts' support group... Welcome, I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week, and I must say, I'm disappointed....
- So a husband and wife go to marriage counseling. The counsellor says, "We should begin with something you both have in common."
So the man says, "Well, we both hate giving blow jobs."
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Counsellor One Liners
Which counsellor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with counsellor? I can suggest the ones about consultant and marriage counselor.
- My grief counsellor died the other day He was so good at his job, I don't even care
- My counsellor told me I have a problem with vengeance. We'll see about that.
- My grievance counsellor died recently He was so good I didn't feel a thing!
- Mickey and Minnie Mouse go to see a marriage counsellor.
- My grief counsellor died recently, I was fine with that.
Laughable Counsellor Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about counsellor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tutor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make counsellor pranks.
My wife and I went to see a marriage counsellor.
The woman said, "How many times a week do the two of you have s**...?"
My wife said, "One or two."
Things got awkward when I said, "Five or six."
I went to see my marriage counsellor.
He asked, "What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?"
"Recently, I've been checking that all the doors are locked. Then I look out of my window."
"It sounds like you still value the safety of your partner."
"No," I said, "I just like to make sure there's nobody around that might break into my car with me in it."
A couple are having marital difficulties,
...and the wife suggests they see a marriage counsellor.
At their first session the counsellor asks the couple to explain to each other how they feel about their marriage.
The wife says: We are at a crossroads. To the left is bitterness, resentment, divorce and a life of unhappiness. To the right is reconciliation, love and lifelong happiness.
The husband says: I think you'll find that's a T-junction.
A husband visited marriage counselled
and said: "When we were first married, | would
come home from the office, my wife would bring
my slippers and our cute little dog would run
around barking.
Now after ten years it's different. | come home,
the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
around barking."
Said the counsellor: "Why complain. You are still
getting the same service.
In the corporate world they call it,
*Job Rotation*
The marriage counsellor asked me and my wife: "Describe your s**... life in three words."
I said, "Depends who with..."
A necromancer and a f**... director are at marriage counselling.
Counsellor: So, why are you guys here today?
f**... Director: He only wants me for my bodies!
John and Jane go to see a marriage counsellor.
The counsellor says, "So, you two are married, correct?"
"Correct," they reply.
"And you are having regular s**...?" asks the counsellor.
"Absolutely," they reply,
"So," laughs the counsellor, "What is the problem?"
They say, "Well, our partners don't really approve."
