The Best 21 Counsellor Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Counsellor jokes. There are some counsellor intimacy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these counsellor aide puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Counsellor Jokes and Puns

My grief counsellor died the other day

He was so good at his job, I don't even care

Why was Obi Wan Kenobi fired from his job as a marriage guidance counsellor?

He kept telling people to "use divorce"

The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution.

I said that my chemistry teacher would disagree.

Counsellor joke, The school counsellor told me that alcohol was never a solution.

My wife and I went to see a marriage counsellor.

The woman said, "How many times a week do the two of you have sex?"

My wife said, "One or two."

Things got awkward when I said, "Five or six."

My counsellor told me I have a problem with vengeance.

We'll see about that.


I went to see my marriage counsellor.

He asked, "What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?"

"Recently, I've been checking that all the doors are locked. Then I look out of my window."

"It sounds like you still value the safety of your partner."

"No," I said, "I just like to make sure there's nobody around that might break into my car with me in it."

Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.

The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?" "Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."

Counsellor joke, Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.

A couple are having marital difficulties,

...and the wife suggests they see a marriage counsellor.

At their first session the counsellor asks the couple to explain to each other how they feel about their marriage.

The wife says: We are at a crossroads. To the left is bitterness, resentment, divorce and a life of unhappiness. To the right is reconciliation, love and lifelong happiness.

The husband says: I think you'll find that's a T-junction.

The marriage counsellor asked me and my wife: "Describe your sex life in three words."

I said, "Depends who with..."

My counsellor told me I needed to get in touch with my inner self.

So I've switched to single ply toilet paper.

A necromancer and a funeral director are at marriage counselling.

Counsellor: So, why are you guys here today?

Funeral Director: He only wants me for my bodies!

You can explore counsellor lifestyle reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean counsellor mutual dad jokes. There are also counsellor puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did Demi Lovato's counsellor tell her in rehab?

If you take that, I think you'll have a heart attack.

John and Jane go to see a marriage counsellor.

The counsellor says, "So, you two are married, correct?"

"Correct," they reply.

"And you are having regular sex?" asks the counsellor.

"Absolutely," they reply,

"So," laughs the counsellor, "What is the problem?"

They say, "Well, our partners don't really approve."

A gay student complained to his counsellor about bullying

He said he was sick of the other kids taking his brunch money.

Counsellor at a 'plastic surgery addicts' support group...

Welcome, I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week, and I must say, I'm disappointed....

So a husband and wife go to marriage counseling.

The counsellor says, "We should begin with something you both have in common."

So the man says, "Well, we both hate giving blow jobs."

Counsellor joke, So a husband and wife go to marriage counseling.

Career counsellor: "Why did you flop during the interview at Houston Space Centre?" Billy: "I failed the countdown bit." "What did you say?"

"Countdown 1...2...3...4...

My guidance counsellor asked what I'd like to do for a living...

I told them I could really see myself cleaning mirrors for a living.

Our marriage counsellor is starting to side with my wife

He just agreed to let her into the room with us


My grief counsellor died recently,

I was fine with that.

Mickey and Minnie Mouse go to see a marriage counsellor.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the counsellor relationships jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working counsellor assistant piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes