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Counseling Jokes

32 counseling jokes and hilarious counseling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about counseling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This collection of jokes are perfect for those in the counseling profession. Laugh out loud with marriage counseling jokes, school counseling puns, and other lighthearted gags from the world of counseling psychology. Learn how to lighten up the mood during premarital guidance sessions, or have a chuckle while offering advice.

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Funniest Counseling Short Jokes

Short counseling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The counseling humour may include short counselor jokes also.

  1. What did the therapist counsel the jar of jam to do? "if you'd only open up, people would realize how sweet you were."
  2. I married a ghost but we're in couples counseling now... He can just be so possessive sometimes, ya know?
  3. Did you hear about the new anti-vaxxer relationship counseling book? Men are from Mars, autism is from Mercury.
  4. A Puerto Rican meteorologist sought counseling. When asked "why?" he replied, "Tropical Depression."
  5. Was giving a door counselling. We didn't get anywhere at first but he soon opened up to me.
  6. Parapsychologists I just want to take this moment to give a shout out to parapsychologists, the only folks brave enough to jump out of airplanes to provide emergency counseling.
  7. What is marriage counseling? You just pay someone 300$ an hour to watch you and your wife fight
  8. Ask a counseling student how to reduce stress, they'll discuss mindfulness, work-life balance, etc. Ask an engineering student, they'll ask back, "Normal or Shear?"
  9. We're throwing my dad a surprise party... ...to celebrate his last PTSD counselling session.
  10. So a husband and wife go to marriage counseling. The counsellor says, "We should begin with something you both have in common."
    So the man says, "Well, we both hate giving blow jobs."

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Counseling One Liners

Which counseling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with counseling? I can suggest the ones about guidance and marriage counselor.

  1. Why did the Mexican food go to counseling? It wanted to taco bout his feelings
  2. A typical Single-cells' marriage counseling Same old story we've grown apart, says one
  3. Why was the button in counseling? Because it was depressed.
  4. If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling.
  5. jeecup up polytechnic seat allotment counselling 2015 out
  6. Marriage counselling sydney
  7. I went to an h**... counseling meeting... ... They are a very positive group.
  8. Why did the s**... ask for career counseling? He wanted to get into a good field.

Marriage Counseling Jokes

Here is a list of funny marriage counseling jokes and even better marriage counseling puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A zombie and a ghost go for marriage counselling And are asked to share their honest feelings
    The Zombie "Sometimes I feel like you're not even here!"
    The Ghost "Whatever, you're dead to me"
  • A blackjack dealer left his wife behind at their marriage counseling appointment... he just couldn't deal with it anymore
  • A necromancer and a f**... director are at marriage counselling. Counsellor: So, why are you guys here today?
    f**... Director: He only wants me for my bodies!

Counseling Psychology Jokes

Here is a list of funny counseling psychology jokes and even better counseling psychology puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the egg go to psychological counseling? Because it was suffering from shell shock.
Counseling joke, Why did the egg go to psychological counseling?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about counseling can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of counseling puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Charming Humor Counseling Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about counseling you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean marriage counselling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make counseling prank.

The secret to a long life

A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

How to Live a Long Life

A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.
The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

A couple is having a marriage counseling session.

The husband said my wife keeps referencing star wars! I cant take it anymore! And storms out of the room.
The wife replied divorce is strong with this one.

I translated a German joke and hope it's still funny

A man is treated by a psychiatrist because he thinks that he is a mouse. After some weeks of psychiatric counseling he is finally healed and has learned, that he isn't a mouse.
As the man in walks out of the psychiatrists office he sees a cat on the street and runs back to the psychiatrist and screams: "I'm scared! There's a cat on the street!"
The psychiatrist replies "I thought you know now, that you are not a mouse."
The man answers "Yes, I know that, but does the cat know this too?"

The secret to a long life

A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot deep hole where the crematorium used to be.

Anger Management

As part of my anger management counseling my therapist said I should "Write letters to the people you hate and then burn them."
So I did, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

A man in rural Arkansas is brought before a judge for his prelimnary hearing.

"What is the charge, counsel?" The judge asks.
"Bigotry, your honor," the prosecutor replies. "This man has three wives."
"You idiot," the judge says. "That ain't bigotry, it's trigonometry."

The secret to a long life…

The secret to a long life...
A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.
The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.
She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

A woman goes to s**...-counselling

Woman: "Doctor, My partner and I have been in a relationship for some time now, but recently he's been thinking about children."
Doctor: "That's a natural thing to do for both men and women when they are in a serious relationship, what exactly is the problem?"
Woman: "He's doing it during s**...."

Finally decided to get some counseling on s**... assault.

Turns out, it's only for the victims.

A husband visited marriage counselled

and said: "When we were first married, | would
come home from the office, my wife would bring
my slippers and our cute little dog would run
around barking.
Now after ten years it's different. | come home,
the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
around barking."
Said the counsellor: "Why complain. You are still
getting the same service.
In the corporate world they call it,
*Job Rotation*

An IT technician and his wife go to marriage counseling The IT technician's wife frustratedly explains to the counselor

"Everything would be fine... but my husband just doesn't want to have s**... with me!"
The counselor thinks for a second, then wonders:
"Have you tried turning him off and on again?"

Counseling joke, Why did the Mexican food go to counseling?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these counseling jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.