Council Jokes
40 council jokes and hilarious council puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about council that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? Check out our collection of council jokes. From silly jokes to puns, we've got jokes for everyone. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a laugh or two.
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Funniest Council Short Jokes
Short council jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The council humour may include short counsellor jokes also.
- There was a street in my town named after Chuck Norris but the council had to rename it. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
- Yoda is telling a joke to the Jedi Council... "Why was six afraid of seven?" he asks. Everyone remains silent, and he says: "Because nine seven eight!"
- On earth: A magician puts his hand in his hat. In the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. It is time. The rabit council must choose another sacrifice.
- City council wanted to demolish the local clown museum. They couldn't because it's a hysterical landmark.
- The National Shredded Cheese Council just endorsed Donald Trump for president... They're ready to make America grate again.
- When I was a kid I wanted to be a fantasy writer So when I became an adult I joined the UN's security council.
- Our local council said they are going to get all the coins out of the wishing well and put them into a balloon. Talk about getting everyone's hopes up.
- My local council decided to build road signs saying "Avoid Distractions". There's been an increase in car accidents ever since.
- The government of Canada is forming a council to determine the merits of decriminalization of all drugs It will be a High Council
- What is the gender of the small council in westeros Mostly male, but occasionally it Varys
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Council One Liners
Which council one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with council? I can suggest the ones about congress and parliament.
- Why does Yoda have the best seat on the Jedi Council? He gets a seat next to a Windu.
- What do you call a council of Emo's? A cutting board.
- Wanna hear something funny? China is a member of UN human right council
- Saudi Arabia... ...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.
- Did you hear what the Jedi council said about Mustafar? They called it a Sith hole.
- What's the small box on the back of a satellite dish called? A council flat.
- What do Scientologists call a meeting of their top members? The Council of L. Ron
- How does a Gungan ask the Jedi Council for help? By requesting reinforcemens.
- Seattle city council Seattle city council
- Why does a council of horses never reach an agreement? Everybody neighs.
Howlingly Hilarious Council Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about council you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean city hall jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make council pranks.
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge and I saw this guy about to jump.
I said, "Don't jump."
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! What denomination?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference, or Northern Conservative Baptist, Eastern Conference?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off.
--Emo Philips
A lawyer is about to go home for the night...
...when a client shows up, asking for his council. The lawyer decides to stay late and work with the client. Afterwards, the client asks how much he owes for the lawyer's time.
"One hundred dollars," the lawyer responds.
The client pays him and walks out, at which point the lawyer realizes it's two hundred dollar bills stuck together. This leaves the lawyer with a moral dilemma...
Does he tell his partner?
I called the local council and asked if I could have a skip outside my house.
The lady replied, "mate you can do cartwheels and handstands for all I care"
- For those not in the UK, a skip is like a dumpster
Retraction
The following headline appeared in the daily newspaper and threw the city hall into an uproar: "Half the city council are crooks."
A retraction in full was demanded of the editor under the threat of a libel suit. Next afternoon, the headline read, "Half the city council aren't crooks."
I was talking to a council worker the other day and I asked him "What's it like working for the council?
"Oh you know you have good days and bad days."
"Swings and roundabouts I suppose"
"Yeah sometimes we fill potholes as well."
After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu....
...Picking up the phone, he spoke "Hebrew."
I don't think any other job sees as many erections as mine...
I work with planning permission at the council.
P.S. I made this one, kinda funny I suppose
My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school
What a waste of money, I've never even seen a zebra in this town
I've heard today that the council intend to build house on the land where my allotment is.
I'm afraid I will loose the plot
The council have started asking people what they think of their plans to build a wind turbine off the local coastline.
I'm not a big fan.
Have you guys heard the one about the National Security Council (NSC) Bill in Malaysia?
[arrested]
In alternate universe, Robert De Niro was a special council assigned to investigate the election. Once his report was done,
he released the report at least 3 times, at least 3 times, at least 3 times.
Why did US pulled out of Human Right Council?
Because we didn't have proper access to birth control
The council of Earth quickly came to regret putting a gastroenterologist in charge of conquering new planets..
All he wanted to do was colonize Uranus.
