The Best 30 Council Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Council jokes. There are some council coalition jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these council nato puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Council Jokes and Puns

Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge

Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge and I saw this guy about to jump.

I said, "Don't jump."

He said, "Nobody loves me."

I said, "God loves you. Are you a Christian or a Jew?"

He said, "A Christian."

I said, "Me too! Protestant or Catholic?"

He said, "Protestant."

I said, "Me too! What denomination?"

He said, "Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."

I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference, or Northern Conservative Baptist, Eastern Conference?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference."

I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."

I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off.

--Emo Philips

A lawyer is about to go home for the night...

...when a client shows up, asking for his council. The lawyer decides to stay late and work with the client. Afterwards, the client asks how much he owes for the lawyer's time.
"One hundred dollars," the lawyer responds.

The client pays him and walks out, at which point the lawyer realizes it's two hundred dollar bills stuck together. This leaves the lawyer with a moral dilemma...

Does he tell his partner?

Why does Yoda have the best seat on the Jedi Council?

He gets a seat next to a Windu.

Council joke, Why does Yoda have the best seat on the Jedi Council?

Flying carpet

So I was walking by a council flat the other day when I saw this Arab guy shaking a carpet.

I shouted up, "what's wrong Aladdin, won't it start?."

On earth: A magician puts his hand in his hat.

In the rabbit realm: The Hand emerges. It is time. The rabit council must choose another sacrifice.


The National Shredded Cheese Council just endorsed Donald Trump for president...

They're ready to make America grate again.

I don't think any other job sees as many erections as mine...

I work with planning permission at the council.

P.S. I made this one, kinda funny I suppose

Council joke, I don't think any other job sees as many erections as mine...

Have you guys heard the one about the National Security Council (NSC) Bill in Malaysia?

[arrested]

Yoda is telling a joke to the Jedi Council...

"Why was six afraid of seven?" he asks. Everyone remains silent, and he says: "Because nine seven eight!"

Our local council said they are going to get all the coins out of the wishing well and put them into a balloon.

Talk about getting everyone's hopes up.

My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school

What a waste of money, I've never even seen a zebra in this town

You can explore council unite reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean council international dad jokes. There are also council puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The council have started asking people what they think of their plans to build a wind turbine off the local coastline.

I'm not a big fan.

Saudi Arabia...

...is on the United Nations Human Rights Council.

The European Union has decided to vote against laser-based weaponry development.

The council has declared they are considering

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

Ray-bans.

How does a Gungan ask the Jedi Council for help?

By requesting reinforcemens.

After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassador called Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu....

...Picking up the phone, he spoke "Hebrew."

Council joke, After Israel threatened to take the Security Council vote as an act of war, the New Zealand Ambassad

I've heard today that the council intend to build house on the land where my allotment is.

I'm afraid I will loose the plot

The council of Earth quickly came to regret putting a gastroenterologist in charge of conquering new planets..

All he wanted to do was colonize Uranus.

City council wanted to demolish the local clown museum.

They couldn't because it's a hysterical landmark.


Retraction

The following headline appeared in the daily newspaper and threw the city hall into an uproar: "Half the city council are crooks."

A retraction in full was demanded of the editor under the threat of a libel suit. Next afternoon, the headline read, "Half the city council aren't crooks."

Did you hear what the Jedi council said about Mustafar?

They called it a Sith hole.

What do you call a council of Emo's?

A cutting board.

When the school council asked for a new representative they did no like my idea for a king sized bed

I guess I'm not good at picking out mass cots

A council was tasked to assign a town song to Chernobyl

After a long debate and several people explaining why it's a terrible idea, they finally decided on the song Radioactive

What do Scientologists call a meeting of their top members?

The Council of L. Ron

What's the small box on the back of a satellite dish called?

A council flat.

What is the gender of the small council in westeros

Mostly male, but occasionally it Varys

In alternate universe, Robert De Niro was a special council assigned to investigate the election. Once his report was done,

he released the report at least 3 times, at least 3 times, at least 3 times.

Wanna hear something funny?

China is a member of UN human right council

The government of Canada is forming a council to determine the merits of decriminalization of all drugs

It will be a High Council

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the council commission jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working council unanimously piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes