Cough Syrup Jokes
30 cough syrup jokes and hilarious cough syrup puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cough syrup that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cough Syrup Short Jokes
Short cough syrup jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cough syrup humour may include short syrup jokes also.
- What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker? They both take away the coffin.
- I tried to buy some cough syrup earlier, but apparently you need photographic ID. Anyhow, I solved the problem.
I bought a huge box of laxatives and took them all - now I'm far too scared to cough. - My girlfriend asked me to get her a cold drink. Apparently cough syrup wasn't what she was after.
- I've developed an addiction to a particular brand of homeopathic cough syrup. It's ok though, I'm still 99.9999999999999999999999% drug-free!
- They developed a new type of cough syrup for Elephants with bad tusks. They call it, Robituskin'.
- If you are not supposed to a**... cough syrup, Then why does it come with a plastic shot glass?
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Cough Syrup One Liners
Which cough syrup one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cough syrup? I can suggest the ones about cough and cough drop.
- why did Dracula's mom give him cough syrup? because Dracula was coffin.
- Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup? Because Dracula was coffin.
- I bought my wife some cough syrup today, For my ears.
- What is a libertarian's favorite cough syrup? Sudafed
- Do you know what's sticky, g**..., tastes bad and starts with the letter c? Cough syrup
Cough Syrup Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cough syrup you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean maple syrup jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cough syrup pranks.
A chemist walks into the store he owns...
and he sees a man, leaning up against a wall near the counter.
"What's wrong with him?" he asks his assistant.
"He needed a bottle of cough syrup," explains the assistant, "but I couldn't find any, so I sold him a bottle of laxatives instead."
"WHAT?" bellows the chemist. "You can't treat a cough with laxatives!!!"
"Of course you can," replies the assistant, pointing at the man. "Look at him! He's FAR too scared to cough!"
Cough Medicine
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
A chemist finds a man leaning against the wall of his shop.
'What's wrong with him?' says the chemist.
His assistant replies, 'He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any, so I gave him laxatives'
'Idiot!' says the chemist. 'You can't treat a cough with laxatives'
'Of course you can' the assistant replies. ' Look at him, he's too afraid to cough'
A man walking in the street sees a coffin bouncing toward him
Terrified, he runs away, between cars, through front yards, nothing works
Finally, he runs into a pharmacy, and out of desperation throws a bottle of cough syrup at it
Only then does the coffin' stop
c**... advice
The pharmacist walks into the store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
He asks the clerk:
"What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk responds: "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him a bottle of laxative."
The pharmacist said:
"You can't treat a cough with a laxative!"
The clerk responded, "Of course you can! Look at him, he's afraid to cough!
This one's a groaner for sure, but still fun. Happy Halloween!
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him, he hears
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket b**... its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man sprints toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket
clapping-clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud c**... the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and.......
The coffin stops
BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...
Just read this in an email, thought it worthy of sharing.
A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...
when behind him he hears:
Bump...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket b**... its way down the middle of the street toward him.
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him
FASTER...
FASTER...
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.
However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on his heels, the terrified man runs.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.
With a loud c**... the casket breaks down the door.
Bumping and clapping toward him.
The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!
Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...
and,
The coffin stops
Pharmacy
The owner of a drugstore arrives at work to find a man leaning heavily against a wall. The owner goes inside and asks his clerk what? s up. "He wanted something for his cough, but I couldn't find the cough syrup," the clerk explains. "So I gave him a laxative and told him to take it all at once. " "Laxatives won't cure a cough, you idiot," the owner shouts angrily. "Sure it will," the clerk says, pointing at the man leaning on the wall. "Look at him. He's afraid to cough. "
A pharmacist walks back into his shop after taking a break.
He finds a man leaning against a wall and asks his assistant What's wrong with him?
He came in for some cough syrup , explains the assistant, but I couldn't find any so I gave him laxatives instead.
What! exclaims the pharmacist, horrified. You can't treat a cough with laxatives!
Of course you can. , the assistant says. Look at him, he's far too scared to cough.
A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup
Three days later the patient comes for a check up and the doctor asks Well? Are you still coughing?
The patient replies No. I'm afraid to.
A Walmart pharmacist walks in to relieve her co-worker and sees a man leaning against the shelves.
She asks her co-worker , "What's with that guy over there leaning against the shelves?" He says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. We're out of cough syrup, so I gave him a whole bottle of laxative."
"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
A pharmacist walked into his shop....
.... to find a man leaning against the wall.
"What's wrong with him?", he asked his assistant.
"He came in for cough syrup, but I couldn't find any
so I gave him an entire box of laxatives."
"You idiot" said the chemist, "You can't treat a cough with laxatives."
"Of course you can" the assistant replied,
"Look at him........he daren't cough now!!"
A chemist comes back from his lunch break.
He finds his assistant busy behind the counter, and a man twitching while leaning against the wall. "What's going on?" he asks. The assistant tells him that the man came in for some cough syrup. "Well, did you give it to him?" asks the chemist. "No, we didn't have any," replies the assistant.
"So what *have* you given him?" asks the chemist. "Laxatives," replies the assistant. The chemists stares at the assistant, then the man, then back again.
And the assistant says, "Well, he doesn't want to cough now."
Originally an Arabic joke!
A small town had one pharmacy until another opened across from the old one. A guy walks in the new pharmacy and asks the pharmacists for some Aspirin the pharmacist hands him one giant tablet, the man asks, How is this supposed to help? It's not gonna kill me? The pharmacist says Oh no, you see, we follow a modern approach to healing, you just have to take this entire tablet one time and you will be ok. The man pays the Pharmacist goes home and force the giant tablet down his t**... and notices that it's acting fast! The same man comes back another time with a terrible cough and asks for a cough medicine. The pharmacist hands him a gallon size cough syrup bottle and says Drink the whole thing at once and you will be fine! the man thanks the pharmacist and follows his exact instruction, the cough goes away. On another day the pharmacist is standing outside his pharmacy when he sees the same man sneaking in and out the other pharmacy. The guy comes back weeks later asking for band aids the pharmacist refuses to sell him any of his giant ones and says You know I saw you going into the other pharmacy. I thought you are becoming a loyal client of mine! The man responses and says, Don't get me wrong sir, I am a loyal customer. I just needed some adult suppositories.