Cougar Jokes

47 cougar jokes and hilarious cougar puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about cougar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for some funny cougar jokes? Then you've come to the right place! Check out our collection of hilarious jokes about cougars that will have you laughing out loud.

Best Short Cougar Jokes

Short cougar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cougar humour may include short puma jokes also.

  1. I am really scared of encountering cougars when I go on a run If I ever saw one , I'd Puma Pants .
  2. I just found out my older wife was cheating on me Turns out she's not a cougar, she's a cheetah
  3. An older woman who dates younger men is called a cougar. What do you call an older man who dates younger women? Rich.
  4. A leopard can carry something twice its weight into a tree and a cougar can carry something half her age to bed.
  5. When a women dates a younger man she's called a cougar, when a man dates a younger woman he is called Defendant.
  6. The oldest one I could think of on a Monday morning: Where do cantaloupes go during the summer?
    John Cougar's Melon Camp.
  7. If an older woman who goes after a younger man is called a cougar, what is an older man going after a younger girl called? A Tyga
  8. What do you get when you cross the mailman with a Cougar? According to the Paternity Test: Me
  9. When a guy thinks that older women are more into him than they actually are... Is it an example of the Dunning-Cougar effect?
  10. When I saw Stephen Fry was getting married to a much younger man I wondered what a gay cougar was called. A pink panther.

Quick Jump To

Cougar joke, When I saw Stephen Fry was getting married to a much younger man I wondered what a gay cougar was ca

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about cougar can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of cougar puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Cougar One Liners

Which cougar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cougar? I can suggest the ones about panther and big cat.

  1. I tried dating a cougar once. Turned out she was a cheetah.
  2. I was hiking yesterday when suddenly I ran into a cougar Almost made me puma pants
  3. When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid... ... she becomes a Def Leppard
  4. When a cougar needs hearing aids, what is she now called? A deaf leopard.
  5. Cougars are hot. But it's a dry heat.
  6. Where do cantaloupes go in the summer? To John Cougar's Mellon Camp
  7. What happens to a cougar that needs a hearing aid? She becomes a Def Leppard.
  8. What do call a Cougar that has lost her hearing? A Def Leppard
  9. I dated an older furry once... She was a cougar
  10. NEVER fight a cougar Just give her a fake name and sneak her out in the morning
  11. Where do melons go for summer fun? John Cougar Mellencamp
  12. Where do cantaloupes go in the summer? To John Cougar's Mellencamp.
  13. Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation? John Cougar's Melon Camp
  14. What do you call a cougar that's hostile to you? An enemilf.
  15. What do you call a married cougar? A cheetah.

Cougar Woman Jokes

Here is a list of funny cougar woman jokes and even better cougar woman puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If a "cougar" is an older woman who is into younger men, what do you call an older woman who is into younger women? a gym teacher
  • a woman... who likes younger men is a cougar, a man that likes younger boys is a Nittany Lion

Cougar Animal Jokes

Here is a list of funny cougar animal jokes and even better cougar animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Some people die from animals, but I was apparently brought to life from one. According to my Mom, my Dad slept with a cougar once which is how I was born.
    It's weird how science works.
  • Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Cougar joke

Quirky and Hilarious Cougar Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about cougar you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean leopard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make cougar prank.

So my parents were "debating" at the dinner table the other night

Mom: Cougar is the term used to describe an older woman who desires young men. I'm seeing a double standard here. Why isn't there a term for an older man who desires young women? What is he called?
Dad: Smart.


A cougar had just finished purchasing groceries. The clerk asks if she would like any help out. The woman, seeing the bag boy was an attractive young man, she says she would. In the parking lot she sees her chance to make a move, and does:
Woman: (whispers) Hey cutie, I've got an itchipussy.
Bag boy: Look lady, all these Japanese cars look alike to me, you'll have to point it out.

A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Pastor make a bet.

They say, "Whoever goes into the woods and converts the most dangerous animal, wins". So a week goes by and they all return. The Pastor comes back with a rattlesnake and says "He goes to church every week!". The priest comes back with cougar and says "His first he's getting confirmed next month!". The Rabbi comes back in a full body cast and says " You know, I probably shouldn't have tried to circumcise a bear."

My neighbor is a cougar into b**...

You could say she is into strapping young lads.

Three blondes are walking through the forest

when they come upon a set of tracks. The first says "These are obviously wolf tracks." The second says "You must be high! they're cougar tracks." The third replies "You're both r**.... They are definitely bear tracks!" They're still arguing when the train hits.

Where did the Cantaloupes send their children for the summer?

To the John Cougar Mellencamp.

If you're ever being chased by a bear or a cougar, quickly lay on the ground for 5 seconds.

Have you ever heard of the 5 second rule?

What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a cantaloupe all go to?

A John Cougar Melon Camp

What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

Cougar joke, What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

jokes about cougar

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these cougar jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.