The Best 55 Cotton Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cotton jokes. There are some cotton silk jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cotton fabric puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cotton Jokes and Puns

I named a spider on my wall cotton eyed joe

Because I have two questions,
Where did he come from,
And where did he go!?

Why was the cotton candy singing?

Grandma, hush, that's Nicki Minaj

Panty Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter

Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."

The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.

When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"

"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"

Cotton joke, Panty Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter

"Git yer cotton pickin hands off a my gin."

-Eli Whitney

Why is the rate of unemployed black people higher than in the 20th century?

Because synthetic cotton is more popular.

What about that new beer...

by Peter Cotton Ale? It's made with more hops!

What do you call Raggedy Ann, in a puddle of mud, with a stone in her mouth?

A dirty cotton rock sucker.

Cotton joke, What do you call Raggedy Ann, in a puddle of mud, with a stone in her mouth?

Why is there cotton on top of the pills inside a pill bottle?

To remind black people they picked cotton before they sold drugs.

I lost my virginity to a girl on her period.

The foreplay gave me cotton mouth.

After being at sea for six months

After being at sea for six months the working man heads to the local cat house. He picks the woman he wants & they go into a room.
As she is getting undressed the man starts stuffing cotton in his nose & ears.

She asks him, "What is all that cotton for?"

He replies, "There is 2 things I can't stand. That is the smell of burning rubber & the sound of a screaming woman."

Last night I dreamed about eating a huge cotton candy.

When I woke up, my pillow was missing.

You can explore cotton linen reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cotton flannel dad jokes. There are also cotton puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What do cows drink joke

Say each of the questions aloud and then answer the final question.

What color are polar bears?
What color is cotton?
What color are clouds normally on a sunny day?
What color are marshmallows?

So what do cows drink?

What's the worst part about going down on a black girl?

Cotton mouth

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

How does a black women tell she is pregnant?

When she pulls the tampon out and the cotton is already picked.

I didn't have a condom last night, so I used a sock...

She wouldn't stop complaining about cotton mouth.

Cotton joke, I didn't have a condom last night, so I used a sock...

Scientists have created a cotton plant resistant to boll weevils.

When asked about it, they replied, "It's unbollweevible."

What's a rappers shirt made out of?

Strait out of cotton

I tried Tylenol for the first time today.

It tasted a lot like cotton.

I have a friend called Rick that was recently turned into cotton...

we have to call him Threadrick now.

I thought of this joke on the way to buy my lunch today, I hope it's not already been made.

How does a black girl know shes pregnant?

When all the cotton is picked off her tampon.

You know which presidential candidate in 2020 will have the hardest time?

Tom Cotton.

Having to tell black people to "Pick Cotton!" in 2020.

Saw a black man run down the street with a flatscreen under his arm

At first i thought it was mine,
but then i remembered that mine was chained in my backyard picking cotton

What do you call the offspring of a black man and an octopus?

I don't know but it sure can pick a lot of cotton.

"Why is that cotton candy talking?"

"Grandma, that's Nicki Minaj"

You will never see a black clown at the circus...

Because they are busy picking cotton candy.

My mouth so dry...

Eli Whitney walk up on me while I'm yawning and invent the cotton gin.

I Work At Sears And Some Black Guys Came In Asking For Polyester Pants

It's weird because they usually pick cotton.

A black man walked into my store today and bought polyester pants.

Which is weird, since they usually pick cotton.

What does a vampire call a used tampon?

Cotton candy

How can you tell when a black woman is pregnant?

When she pulls out her tampon all the cotton is picked off.

What has Ferris wheels, cotton candy, and delicious fried food?

That's a fair question

"A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor ...

"A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor and asked the woman who answered the door, "Is Fred home?"
"Sorry, Fred's gone for cotton."
The next day the bill collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?"
"No, sir. I'm afraid he has gone for cotton."
When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?"
"No, Fred died yesterday."
Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and check the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with the inscription, "Gone, But Not for Cotton.""

Now that the tide pod fad is dying down

lets move onto the cotton candy in the attic.

If a Teddy Bear Smokes Weed....

....Does He Get Cotton Mouth?

Want to know how dark my humor is?

It picks cotton

Slave owners used to get black people to pick cotton...

now they get them to pick Democrats.

A black work colleague of mine accused me of making subtle racist comments to him.

I had to defend myself and said woah, now hold on a cotton picking minute

Why do black people hate the world fairs?

To be honest I don't know. Iam too busy enjoying the cotton candy , cruises , and auctions!

My teacher in workshop laughed when I said I could make a deadly knife out of cotton...

...After I sharpened the tip, he backed down saying, "I see you've made your point."

"That's a really nice dress you're wearing, what fabric is that?" "It's cotton."

"Wow, and here I am thinking it must be felt."

You can't be woke all the time.

Even Fredrick Douglas wore cotton.

Boll weevils are detrimental to cotton crops. If you had to have boll weevils on your farm, which do you want, a big weevil or a little weevil?

The little weevil, because you always want the *lesser of two weevils.*

My botany professor just told us this.

I Told My Black Friend He Has a Nice Shirt

He replies saying it is made out of quality cotton.

I asked if his parents picked it out for him.

What was George Gershwin's favorite winter sport?

Fissure jumping.

(and the cotton is high)

What do the Nazis call a cotton swab?

A swabstica!

I am so Pro-Black...

That I don't even pick cotton from an Aspirin bottle...

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.

One went all the way out to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Cotton the middle of life and death

A stalk of wheat goes in to have a sex-change operation. After hours and hours in the operating room, one of the surgeons has a slip up with the sickle they are using. Nearly bleeding out, the wheat is stitched up in the nick of time.

A few weeks later, the wheat is recounting the story to its partner, who is a stalk of cotton. They tell them the operation was worth it, and they are lucky to be a sir fiber.

Saw a massive spider in my room earlier

Named him Cotton Eye Joe, because I want to know two things...where did he come from and where did he go?!

Two weevils grew up in South Carolina

One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

Why don't rabbits make noise when they're having sex?

Cotton balls.

What does a stoners mouth and shirt have in common?

They are both 100% cotton

Why can you never hear bunnies having sex?

Because they have cotton balls.

I named a Spider I found in my house "Cotton Eye Joe" because...


Where did he come from

and where did he go

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cotton wool jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cotton crossbreed piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes