Costume Jokes
167 costume jokes and hilarious costume puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about costume that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Have some Halloween-style fun with this collection of costume jokes! Get inspired for your next costume party with humorous takes on costume designer, Halloween costume, Spirit Halloween costume, banana costume, masks, emotions, and more. Laugh, have fun, and make your costumes glow!
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Funniest Costume Short Jokes
Short costume jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The costume humour may include short fancy dress jokes also.
- A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover
- Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he's dressed up as and he responds I'm a snail! That's M'shell on my back
- I invited my buddy to a costume party and he said he was going as his dad He didn't show up
- My dad dressed up as The Invisible Man today He's had the costume on for the last 20 years
- My gay friend's had an 80's themes costume party. I came dressed up as AIDS. Nobody really knew what I was at the start of the party, but by the end, everybody got it.
- I went to a Halloween party dressed as a harp The host asked me: What are you?
Me: Oh, I'm dressed as a harp.
Host: Your costume is too short to be a harp
Me: Are you calling me a lyre? - I got banned from donating clothes to the local orphanage Apparently they don't appreciate Batman costumes......
- Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, "what's your costume going to be?" "I'll be Bach"
- The Fed Ex driver only delivered part of my grizzly costume I was so mad, I choked him with my bear hands
- I'm not allowed to dress up as a superhero and visit the children's hospital anymore. And I put so much work into my Thanos costume.
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Costume One Liners
Which costume one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with costume? I can suggest the ones about cosplay and outfit.
- Why doesn't Magneto wear his old costume anymore? Because days of fuchsia passed
- On Halloween don't wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods. You'll get Jurasskicked.
- Why did the trick or treater lose his ghost costume? Someone scared the sheet out of him
- I've been stuck in this cucumber costume so long... That now I'm in a pickle
- I asked a nun why she wore the same costume everyday. She said, "It's a habit."
Sorry - What would be the scariest coronavirus costume? One without a mask
- Which Halloween costume has the hardest time getting to third base? The Headless horseman
- What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume! - What's the most inappropriate Halloween costume this year? Hurricane Harvey Weinstein
- My friend and I were a donkey for Halloween... We just half-assed our costumes.
- How do you make a Doctor costume scary?... Tell everyone you're American
- I got really upset at people mocking my flamingo costume so I had to put my foot down.
- I came up with the best Halloween costume! A disapointment
- Why didn't Jake Paul dress up for Halloween? He didn't need a costume to go as a failure.
- What did one costume say to the others? Look at disguise
Halloween Costume Jokes
Here is a list of funny halloween costume jokes and even better halloween costume puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend asked me what I was being for Halloween, and I said "Nothing." He said "No, that's what you are in real life, you have to wear a costume."
- At a Halloween party A: What are you dressed as?
B: I'm a harp.
A: Your costume's too small to be a harp.
B: Are you calling me a lyre? - I dressed up as a screwdriver this past Halloween. It wasn't the best costume but I still turned a lot of heads.
- Got sent home from work for my Halloween costume.. Apparently, being a brillo pad was too abrasive for some people.
- In 2023 we're not calling them Halloween costumes anymore... It's *occultural appropriation*
- People in the deep south must really love Halloween since they march around in their ghost costumes all year long.
- Chris Brown dressed as Deadpool for Halloween and won a costume contest. The runner up was a girl dressed like Rihanna, but he beat her.
- I wore a harp costume to a Halloween party..... I wore a harp costume to a Halloween party, but my girlfriend thought it was too small. She called me a Lyre.
- Last Halloween I was driving my son around and we ran into a fire hydrant. Probably the worst costume I've ever seen.
- For my next Halloween costume I'll need to physically disappear out of existence... I'll be the wage gap.
Costume Party Jokes
Here is a list of funny costume party jokes and even better costume party puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he was invited to the historical costume party? "I'll be Bach"
- My friend turned up to my costume party dressed as an abacus. I knew I could count on him.
- I went to a costume party Host: What are you supposed to be?
Me: I'm a harp!
Host: No Way! Your costume is way to small to be a harp.
Me: Are you calling my a lyre???? - I went to a fancy dress party... A girl approached me and asked 'what are you meant to be?'
I said 'a harp'
She replied 'your costume is too small to be a harp'
I said 'are you calling me a lyre?' - A man is walking around a costume party dressed in green with a woman on his shoulder When asked what he was he said he was a tortoise. Then when asked about the woman he replied "she's Michelle".
- Everyone loves my "moderately large business agreement" costume at this fancy dress party. I'm kind of a big deal.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he was going to attend the 18th century composer costume party. He said, Yes, I'll be Bach .
- Did you hear about the dog who tried to dress up as a cat but got sick at a Halloween costume party? He said he wasn't feline well.
- At a costume party- Guy: What are you? Girl: I'm a Harp Guy: that looks a little big to be a harp. Girl: Are you calling me a Lyre?
- Guy goes to a costume party dressed in a Speedo with a potato in the front. He knocks on the door of the party and the host says what are you suppose to be? He says, I'm a dictator
Costume Designer Jokes
Here is a list of funny costume designer jokes and even better costume designer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a communist and a fascist? The fascists have better costume designers.
- Why didn't Spider-Man design a costume with pockets for his wallet? Because his Spidey Cents was always tingling
Howlingly Hilarious Costume Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about costume you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean attire jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make costume pranks.
Anyone need a s**... costume for Halloween?
Just dress up as one of my professors, they barely cover anything
When I die...
I want my body to be dressed in a Super Man costume and tossed out of a plane.
Wife spices things up!
A wife, worrying about the state of her marriage, decides to spice things up in the bedroom by adding some costume play. She buys a s**... supergirl outfit and when her husband is in bed slips it on. She walks out, poses seductively and says "Superpussy". Her husband, not looking up from his crossword says "I'll have the soup thanks".
Costume Ideas
For Halloween, you should dress up as Pavlov. Not everyone will get it, but it should ring a bell.
An older man walks into a bar...
...wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard. He sits down at a bar and orders a drink. As the bartender sets it down, he asks, "Going to a party?"
"Yeah, a costume party," the man answers, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."
"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protests the bartender.
"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."
A Halloween joke for you.
Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He walked up to a house and said "trick or treat". The little old lady just gushed over his costume. She says to Johnny, "What a cute costume, but let me ask you....Where are your buccaneers?" Little Johnny says back, "They're under my buckin hat lady."
The Costume Party
The local pub once held a costume party. The bartender announced to the patrons that they must all come dressed up as their "love life". Sure enough, the day of the party arrives and the bartender spots some old g**... dressed as Abraham Lincoln. He says "Oi, mate. You were supposed to come dressed up as your love life!"
With a shrug and a sly grin the other man says "Oh, I have. My four scores were seven years ago."
A man looking for work
A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"
Last Halloween
Last Halloween, I went to a costume party. I spot a guy dressed in a monkey costume with a jar of peanut butter in one hand and a chocolate bar in the other. I asked him what he was dressed as, and he replied, "Me? I am a Reese's Monkey."
Bruce Willis, arnold schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are planning a costume party
and the theme is composers. Bruce tells the other stars, "I'll dress up as Mozart". Sylvester responds, "I'd be a great Beethoven". As the two are planning their costumes, Arnold checks the time and notices he's late for an appointment. As he hurries out the door, Bruce and Stallone ask "Hey, Arnold, who'll you dress up as? Arnold responds, as he walks out of the room, "I'll be Bach".
Another costume
A guy goes into a costume shop.
He says, "I'm going to a costume party, I want to go as Adam."
The girl brings out a fig leaf. He says, "Not big enough."
She brings out a bigger one. He says, "Still not big enough."
She brings out a huge fig leaf. He says, "Still not big enough."
She says, "Listen, Ace, why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gasoline pump?"
Michelle
On Halloween, a man shows up to his friend's costume party in the n**... carrying a woman on his back. His friend answers the door and shockingly asks, "what are you supposed to be?!"
The man says, "I'm a snail."
With an obvious look of disdain on his face, his friend asks, "well, who is she?"
The man answers, "Michelle."
So a man was going as Adam from Adam and Eve for a Halloween costume.
So he went to a costume shop and asked the lady working there for a leaf to wear, so the lady brought out a leaf and the guy said, "bigger", so the lady brought out another leaf and the man said "bigger" again, this went on a few more times and the lady finally came out and said, "why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gas pump?"
s**... Leia
A man comes home to his girlfriend who is in a s**... Leia costume, chained to the bed and stretched out seductively. The man gets angry and says "I'm not that fat!"
A woman asks her husband what type of bird makes for the sexiest Halloween costume
"Should I be a spotted b**...?", asks the woman.
"Or what about a spread pink Flamingo?" "...Neither" replies the man. "If you really want men to like you, you need to be some sort of s**...."
I tried to change the colour of my monk's costume so I could reuse it
but I guess old habits dye hard.
THE GOVINATOR
Jean Claude Van Dam, Steven Segal, and Arnold Schwarzenagger all decide to go out trick-or-treating as musical composers for Halloween. They go into a costume store and look for masks. Jean Claude sees a costume that he likes and says, "I think I'll go as Beethoven." Steven Segal sees a costume that grabs his attention and says, "I'll be Mozart." Arnold had a tough time finding a costume that he liked, but he eventually found one that appeased his interest. He picks up a costume and said, "I'll be Bach."
Mark and his friend Michelle
go to a costume party. When they show up Michelle is clinging to Mark's back. Someone greets them and asks what they're supposed to be. Mark says that he's a snail. The other guy asks "who's on your back?" Mark replies "Michelle"
Halloween Joke
This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he's just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.
The host says to him, Dude, this is a Halloween party! You're supposed to be wearing a costume?
The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I'm a snail!
You're a snail?
Yeah, I'm a snail, says the guy. Then he points to his girlfriend and says, This is Michelle.
A young boy dresses up as a pirate for Halloween...
At one house an old lady opens the door and says, "What a wonderful pirate costume! But where are your buccaneers?" The boy looks at her, confused, and says, "My buckin' ears are under my buckin' hat!"
Mark Ruffalo Went into a Job Interview
The interviewer asked "What's your strong suit?"
"Oh, you know, the Hulk costume."
Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park
They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.
The Terminator and his friends decided to go to a costume party dressed up as famous classical musicians.
"I'll be Beethoven!", said one friend.
"I'll be Mozart!", said the other friend.
"I'll be Bach.", said The Terminator.
Terminator, RoboCop, & Optimus Prime are all together thinking of their next costume for Halloween...
when RoboCop says "We should all be classical musical composers; I'll be..Beethoven!".
Optimus Prime agrees and says "alright - I'll be..Mozart!".
Terminator stands up and says "I'll be Bach!".
I went to the fancy dress shop the other day but they couldn't help me complete my wizard costume
You just can't get the staff.
Three members of the k**... walk into a bar...
They sit at the back in full costume.
The first k**... thinks to himself, "If the black guy at the bar tries to pull off my hood, I'll kill him!"
The second k**... thinks to himself, "If the gay guy at the bar tries to pull off my hood, I'll kill him!"
The third k**... thinks to himself, "If someone pulls off my hood, the gay black guy at the bar will recognize me from last night, and these two will kill me!"
I once met Bruce Willis
I once met Bruce Willis at a fancy dress party. He was wearing a really shabby looking nun outfit. I was told that he'd worn the same costume to every fancy dress party he'd attended for years. I suppose old habits die hard.
Two costumes are gonna be super popular this year: Donald Trump and Scary Clown.
It's gonna be hard to say which is which.
A n**... man is walking down the street with a woman on his back...
A guy on the other side of the street yells at him "Hey! What are you doing!?"
The n**... man replies, "Don't get all upset. I'm headed to a costume party!"
"As what?" asks the guy.
"As a tortoise! Can't you tell?"
"Well, what's the woman doing on your back?"
"Oh that's just Michelle."
A husband says to his wife:
"I hate to tell you this but your swimming costume is very tight and revealing."
"Wear your own one then!"
TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a b**... costume party
Oops wrong sub
Donald Trump's family bought him a Gandalf the Grey costume for his birthday.
Unfortunately, this wasn't the sort of Grand Wizard outfit he had in mind...
A man is invited to a costume party...
where the theme is to come as something or someone that represents your s**... life. After thinking a little, he finally comes up with the perfect costume!
As he enters the party, the host comes up to ask him about his costume.
"I'm curious, how does Abraham Lincoln represent your s**... life?"
"Easy," he replies. "My last four scores were seven years ago!"
A woman walks into a costume party, dressed as a turtle.
As part of the costume, another woman was painted green ND attached to her back.
At the party, someone asked the woman "Who's that on you're back?"
To which they responded "That's Michelle".
I went to a local costume party in nothing but my pants
My friend asked, "what are you supposed to be?"
I said, "I don't know, I just came in my pants"
A n**... lady enters the costume party behind the turtle
She has nothing but a monkey covering her p**... area.
The host takes one puzzled look.
"Alright, I give up. Judging by what I asked the turtle, I may regret asking this, but what are you supposed to be?"
"I'm an Italian boy!"
"What's with the monkey?"
"That'sa not a monkey! That's a macaque!"
I'd dress as Tommy Wiseau for Halloween.
But the costume and accessories aren't cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap.
Went to a costume party last night
The host asked what I was supposed to be, so I told him I dressed up as a harp. "But your costume is too small to be a harp," he said.
"Are you calling me a lyre?"
Costume party
Host: What are you?
Me: A harp
Host: Ur costume's too small to be a harp.
Me: Are you calling me a lyre
My costume is a bunch of sponges pinned to my shirt
I'm self absorbed
A man walks into a costume party.
Host: What are you?
Man: A harp.
Host: Your costume's too small to be a harp...
Man: Are you calling me a lyre, sir?
This halloween, I will dress up as my father.
Too bad nobody will get to see my costume
I told a woman I saw today that I liked her t**... costume
People sure don't know how to take a compliment!
So yesterday I wore a costume....
I am a male and I wore a see through shirt and pants. I completed my ensemble with a stuffed bra, long haired wig and lipstick. I pushed a baby doll around all night in a stroller holding the baby bottle....
I was a transparent transparent.
Joe and his friends went to the costume party...
Joe and his friends went to the costume party and were really enjoying themselves.
Then a woman came in. She was wearing nothing at all, but was body-painted in white from head to toes.
The guys struggled to guess what that meant but after few drinks Joe gathered courage and went to ask.
"Excuse me, madam, we were wondering what are you dressed up as? Can you please tell us?"
The woman spreads her legs and says:
"Tooth decay, silly!"
Why was Sean Connery giving away his lobster costume?
He was trying to be a little less shellfish.
The head of the CIA tells you that he has a secret assignment for you to do.
Specifically, he tells you to meet him at a Tokyo restaurant and to wear an Asian costume.
When you ask him what exactly you need to wear an Asian costume for, he says:
"I want us to be secret Asians."
A man goes to a costume party wearing nothing but his underwear and a woman on his back.
His friends see him and say, Hey man, what are you supposed to be?
He replies, Oh, I'm dressed as a turtle.
His friends respond, A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who's that woman on your back?
The man replies, Oh that's just Michelle.
I was forced to dress up in a half man, half horse costume.
I hate being the centaur of attention.
Yesterday I went to a costume party as a p**... ejection
I just came in my pants
Stephen King didn't like my Halloween costume.
I dressed like a clown but he said I was doing it wrong
When Titanic came out, I went to the premiere wearing a iceberg costume
Needless to say, it was a smash hit.
A man walks into a costume party
Wearing nothing but underwear, and with a girl wrapped to his back with silver tape.
A friend of his welcomes him and asks "So... What are you dressed as?"
"I'm a turtle", answers the guy.
"And who is this on your back?"
"Oh, that's just Michelle."
(Probably a repost, I know, but the joke is just too good)
So i went to a costume party...
People asked why i didn't dress up, i said i was pretending to be Okay.
I tried dressing up as the plane that c**... into the twin towers for the office costume party
It didn't land too well
I'm so ugly...
... I went to a Halloween party without a costume and one of the partygoers came up to me and asked, "What are you supposed to be?"
Just got kicked out of a Greek themed costume party
apparently coming dressed as an ancient Greek olympian 'wasn't appropriate'
I went to a costume party yesterday dressed as a mushroom.
It was great, the people there thought I was a real fun guy.
Last weekend I was accused of being dyslexic at a party...
I think they were just jealous of my goat costume, because nobody else put in *any* effort. For some reason they all decided to just wear bed sheets to the goat party.
I won my 17th straight Halloween costume contest as a hotdog.
I'm on a roll.
Please look at my previous post to see a list of my
jokes. Please give me feedback Thanks!
I'm trying to bring puns and one-liners into the U.S.A.