Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.
Probably because Mexico has more aliens
Not only was it embarrassing, but it also cost me a fortune in stamps.
And those are the Pie-Rates of the Caribbean.
$0, it's on the house.
**people keep saying dad joke, funny thing is my mom actually told me this 😂**
Cost me a fortune in stamps
...and soon after he notices that Adam is lonely.
God says "Do not fear, my child. For I will create a partner to accompany you and man from this time forth. She will be known, as a woman."
God continues "She will be obedient, loyal, passionate and nurturing."
Adam hesitates..
"What is this gonna cost me?" Adam asks.
God responds "An arm and a leg."
Adam retorts "What can I get for a rib?"
It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
True story: I was at the store with my son and my wife. I have a habit of flipping my wedding ring in the air like a coin and catching it. My son saw me do it and tried to grab it in mid air, causing it to fall to the ground. He scrambled to get it and I said, "Son, hand me that! It's expensive!"
My son asked me, "how much did it cost, dad?"
I replied, "my life."
2nd place in a presidential election.
A man, lets call him jim, goes to his buddys costume party wearing nothing but a pair of pants.
Jim's friend walks over to him and says "hey, jim... uh what are you supposed to be?"
Jim smiles and says "well im a premature ejaculation."
His friend looks puzzled and asks "okay, well why arent you wearing any shoes... or a shirt?"
Jim laughs and says "I just came in my pants!"
"And that includes digging the grave."
"Is that the whole thing?" I asked.
He replied, "Yes, that's the hole thing."
God: "She's going to clean for you, cook anything you want whenever you want it, always look beautiful, never be bad tempered, give you children, always obedient, and she'll never argue with you."
Adam: "That sounds great, but what'll it cost me?"
God: "Oh, an arm and a leg."
Adam: "That's a bit steep. What can I get for a rib?"
But nature is only out a buck.
The man says to the lawyer "How much would it cost to ask you a few questions?"
The lawyer says "I charge $400 for three questions."
"That's a bit expensive isn't it?"
"Yep. What's your third question?"
Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps
It cost me a fortune in stamps.
That way when I'm asked what my costume is, I'll say "I'm a premature ejaculator. I just came in my pants."
The owner calls a meeting with all of his 200 employees out on the plant floor.
"Ok everyone, we are in deep trouble. I will give $2000 dollars to the first person that comes to me with a cost saving idea."
Immediately a guy in the front row shoots up his hand.
Owner says "Yes, Barry. That was fast, what's your cost saving plan?"
Barry says "make it $1000".
Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
Nothing, they are free of charge.
Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost me a fortune in stamps.
Smaller coffins cost less than bigger ones.
It cost him $300, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral...
Inflation?
It used to cost a quarter but I guess that's inflation for you.
Not only was it really embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.
And that's just for the alcohol.
So I booked a United flight instead
God damn inflation.
Not only was I embarrassed it cost me more than $50 in stamps.
It must have cost at least an arm and a leg.
I live in an apartment complex so I have neighbors left to right and below me. One day I asked my neighbor if he was interested in splitting the cost of my wifi 50/50 so he could also use it. He agreed. I went on to my other neighbor downstairs and asked him the same thing. Now both my neighbors are paying for my wifi.
"It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."
"Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"
"Two-thirty."
They both cost a lot, last 5 seconds, and if the rubber splits you're fucked.
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