The Best 9 Cosmonaut Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cosmonaut jokes. There are some cosmonaut nasa jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cosmonaut soviet puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cosmonaut Jokes and Puns

A cosmonaut crash lands

A Russian cosmonaut has an emergency during his reentry into earth's atmosphere and his space craft crash lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush hospital clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is really bandaged from head to foot and sees a very large, somewhat gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot.

"Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and fear.

"No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You came here yerster dye."

A Russian cosmonaut and a Russian brain surgeon were discussing religion.

A Russian cosmonaut and a Russian brain surgeon were discussing religion. The brain surgeon was a Christian but the cosmonaut was an atheist. The cosmonaut said, "I've been out in space many times but I've never seen God or angels." The brain surgeon said, "And I've operated on many clever brains but I've never seen a single thought."

What's the difference between an astronaut and a cosmonaut?

Astronauts take it slow, cosmonauts are always rushin'

Why were cosmonauts on the Russian space station always bumping into things?

Because objects in Mir are closer than they appear.

What do you call a baby Cosmonaut?

Yuri Googoogagarin.

^I'll ^see ^myself ^out...


Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

Because he was Russian.

on the ISS... what did the American Astronaut say to the Cosmonaut?

What did the American Astronaut say to the fast moving Cosmonaut?

Stop Russian around.

Russian kid

What do you call a Russian kid who cosplays?

A cosmonaut

I met this guy who said he was a Mir Space Station cosmonaut.

But I thought it was quite an achievement.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cosmonaut spudnik jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cosmonaut colonize piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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