The Best 17 Cosmetic Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cosmetic jokes. There are some cosmetic sever jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cosmetic pelvic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cosmetic Jokes and Puns

Joke translated to English from German

A blonde is driving home when she gets pulled over by a police officer.

"Mam, may i see you driving license?!"

"What's a driving license? "

"You know this thing in your purse with your face on..."

She starts digging through her purse, finds her cosmetic mirror, and hands it over to the policeman.

The policeman takes a look at the mirror and responds-

"Should have told me right away your a police officer too "

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject.

Now when you talk about Botox no one raises an eyebrow

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a sensitive subject.

But now when you make jokes about botox, nobody lifts an eyebrow.

Cosmetic joke, Cosmetic surgery used to be such a sensitive subject.

There's a new cosmetic surgery that makes you look like an Eskimo.

You might wanna look Inuit.

Cosmetic surgery used to be a pretty taboo subject

Now you mention botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.


Gaming Sex Robot

I brought a sex robot from EA and it's so realistic. It wont have sex with me until I buy Cosmetic Item add-ons.

If anyone knows how to correct cosmetic surgery that's gone horribly wrong?

I'm all ears.

Cosmetic joke, If anyone knows how to correct cosmetic surgery that's gone horribly wrong?

I use alcohol as a cosmetic.

Applying it to other peoples faces, makes mine look better.

Pete Townshend and Keith Moon were arrested last night after releasing 1000 pugs from a cosmetic company's testing facility.

The Who let the dogs out.

Q: Why aren't cosmetics students scared of missing their exams?

A: Because they like to take makeup tests!

I'm not saying cosmetic surgery cured my depression

But it definitely put a smile on my face.

You can explore cosmetic retina reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cosmetic surgery dad jokes. There are also cosmetic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A person decided to go to a cosmetic surgeon for a face lift and the surgeon said, "You're beautiful just the way you are."

"After the surgery, of course."

Why is God's cosmetics budget so low?

He's already all made-up.

A rich friend of mine had lots of cosmetic surgery and even had a number of her organs repositioned.

Still, her heart's in the right place.

I was pleasantly surprised that my GF's mom had passed away

all of her fake jewellery, vintage 60s style clothing, cheap make up and cosmetic products, wigs, fake eyelashes and tonnes of other unwanted stuff to a charity

How much do cosmetics sell for?

Face value.

Cosmetic joke, How much do cosmetics sell for?

Surgery

After her fifth child, Jane decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her gammon was dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with five children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly packed kebab.
Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.
"Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them". "Well" said the nurse, "The first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks".
"Ah, that's really nice" said Jane.
"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited!".
"Brilliant!" said Jane." "And the third?".
"That's from Eric in the burns unit" said the nurse..............he just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cosmetic reconstruction jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cosmetic hysterectomy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes