Cosby Jokes

Following is our collection of convict puns and cosbypolitan one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cosby jokes for adults, dirty puddin jokes and clean roethlisberger dad gags for kids.

The Best Cosby Puns

Cardi B and Bill Cosby walk into a bar...

I don't remember the rest.

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and a small fencing sword?

One's a little rapier...

Bill Cosby is going to have a new show

Women Say the Darndest Things

How does a girl greet Bill Cosby on their 2nd date?

"Nice to meet you"

Why does Bill Cosby cry during sex?

Pepper spray.


Want to hear a Cosby joke?

Wait ... I told it wrong. I wasn't supposed to ask for consent.

What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common?

They don't come until you're asleep.

Your momma is so ugly....

Bill Cosby gave her coffee.

My Bill Cosby impression isn't that entertaining.

It puts everyone to sleep.

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink

What does bill Cosby and Santa have in common?

They both only come when you're sleeping


This Election Day will be like a dinner date with Bill Cosby.

When you wake up, you just know something bad happened.

I heard Bill Cosby made a sex tape....

Twice as strong as duct tape.

How are Bill Cosby and Santa Claus similar

They both only come when your sleeping

Bill Cosby was charged with sexual assault

I guess the proof was in the pudding

If Bill Cosby rapes an immigrant...

Is it Alien Vs Predator?

A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex.

Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby

Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz?

Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs

What do Sigmund Freud and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both explored the unconscious.


How does Bill Cosby greet his date?

Good night.

It turns out that Bill Cosby was actually drugging his dates' desserts, not their drinks.

The proof is in the pudding.

Apparently, Bill Cosby likes his women the way he likes his Jello Pudding...

...passed out cold.

What happens on the first date with Bill Cosby?

I don't remember

What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?

They knock you out before they drill your cavity.

What's the difference between Frankenstein and The Cosby Show?

On the Cosby Show, he was both the doctor and the monster.

I met Cosby once and I remember him being just a wonderful person.

I don't remember much after that.

What do Bill Cosby and a burglar have in common?

They both wait until you're asleep, then come in the backdoor.

Some people are suggesting that Bill Cosby should have his honourary doctorate taken away.

But the man successfully anesthetized over 50 women, countless times. If anything he has done more to earn the title doctor" than ever before.

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.

β€” Bill Cosby

Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy?

The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.

Your mama is so ugly that when she met Bill Cosby

he made her espresso.

Bill Cosby likes his women like he likes his town cars...

Blacked out

I suspected my wife cheated on me at a Bill Cosby's house party last night...

"No, I didn't have sex with Bill Cosby"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure I'd remember having sex with Bill Cosby!"

Do you remember that time you met Bill Cosby?

No?

Add another one to the list!

Bill Cosby and a surgeon have a lot in common

For example, they both want the person that they are inside to be unconscious

Bill Cosby is a lot like Freddy Kruger. They both come in your nightmares.

Jello fired Bill Cosby.

They said he was off-pudding.

What would you call a Cosby sex tape?

Evidence

I asked Bill Cosby if I could dress up as him for Halloween...

He said no, but I'm just going to do it anyway.

Sometimes my girlfriend takes her sleeping pill, passes out and initiates sex.

We call it the reverse Cosby.

Why is Bill Cosby so good at Fantasy drafts?

He always nails the sleepers

Which 3 US bills have to do with sexual harassment of women?

Bill Cosby
Bill O'reilly
Bill Clinton

Why would Bill Cosby make a great lawyer?

The proof is in the pudding

Bill Cosby may have been convicted, sentenced to prison, and end up bankrupt...

But at least he'll always have a roofie over his head.

So Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby and Bill Nye all walk into a bar...

They all finish their drinks and Nye says to the lady behind the bar I'll cover the tab these two will give you their tips.

If Bill Cosby is America's dad...

Does that make him Canada's creepy uncle?

After his recent conviction for rape, two schools stripped their honorary PhD's from Bill Cosby...

It's ok though, Michigan State just gave him another one.

Bill Cosby walks into a bar

The rest is a blur!

I went to meet Bill Cosby and Clark Gable for a drink...

I forget the rest of the story...

Bill Cosby was one of the greatest boxers...

He got 20 ko's and didn't even fight!

Bill Cosby

Ask your friend "Would you have sex with Bill Cosby." hopefully your friend says no then you respond with "Too bad you don't have a choice."

He sees you when you're sleeping,he knows when you're awake

A date with Bill Cosby

Bill Cosby is like Santa Claus

He comes while you're asleep.

Bill Cosby and Cardi B. walk into a bar.

Everyone hides their drinks.

Garrison Keillor is twice the entertainer that Bill Cosby is.

Keillor even puts the men to sleep.

What do you get when you see Bill Cosby in double-vision?

Raped.

What cologne does Bill Cosby wear?

Chloroform

What did Bill Cosby say when he was in a bar and he accidentally slipped a pill into one of those drinks you light on fire and then the bartender lit it on fire?

The roof', the roof', the roofies on fire!

What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?

A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)

"I like my women like I like my Stephen Hawkings...

...paralyzed and unable to talk." - Bill Cosby

I'll see myself out.

Bill Cosby would have been totally cleared..

had he run for President

I wish Bill Cosby was president

It would really help me sleep at night

What do you call a preponderance of evidence that your drink has been laced?

Probable Cosby.

Why do I watch the Cosby show?

I enjoy dark humour.



Yes, this was both a rapist and racial joke.

Bill Cosby was actually gonna be in a Marvel movie

He was gonna play Sandman.

Bill Cosby on a date: "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable..."

…like a coma.

Roseanne and Bill Cosby have at least one thing in common.

They can both blame the sleeping pills.

Sex with Bill Cosby is like watching Ghost Dad.

You'll fall asleep two minutes in, and won't want to admit it happened for the next 30 years.

How is Santa Clause like Bill Cosby? (NSFW)

If you're awake, they aren't coming.

If Bill Cosby was one of the seven dwarfs which one would he be?

Dopey

Bill Cosby, Anthony Weiner and Harvey Weinstein walk into a bar

Harvey says, "Hey Bill, buy me a drink!"
Bill shouts back, "I don't know what role you're trying to offer me, but let's not involve Weiner..."

Bill Cosby awarded another honorary degree from Boston University,

this time is was Anesthesiology.

Audiences used to love him,

but now Bill Cosby puts people to sleep.

A New Prison Band coming soon....

Cosby, Pills and Smash

I bought a book of pick-up lines, but the pages were empty...

turns out it was written by Bill Cosby.

How is Billy Cosby like Santa Claus?

They both come when you are sleeping

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Dahmer?

Jeremy Renner hasn't played Bill Cosby.

Super stoked for the new Cosby Show spin-off...

Pudding it in Cosby.

Apparently Bill Cosby is getting pudding with his first meal in prison.

Good! He's finally receiving his just desserts.

Bill Cosby is having a party to celebrate his hung jury.

There will be free drinks for all the ladies.

While the Lord God put Adam to sleep to remove one rib

Bill Cosby put Eve to sleep to add twelve ribs

The answer is "preludes"

Name something Bill Cosby gives to nuns.

For 65million years the T-rex was the number one predator

Then came Bill Cosby

What's the difference between Gwyneth Paltrow and Bill Cosby?

One has conscious uncouplings while the other has unconscious couplings.

What do you call it when Bill Cosby attacks an immigrant?

Alien vs. Predator

In deference to his fame, Bill Cosby was jailed under a pseudonym.

There he is only known as 'Ben Dover'.

There is new term for waking up in prison, covered in various bodily fluids

Cosby sweater

Sometimes women say the darnest things

Like "no."

-Bill Cosby... probably.

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Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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