Correlation Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A man named Eric Cole...

... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.

Johnny's parents hired a tutor to help him with statistics

after his first session with the tutor, his parents asked him how it went.

johnny said "well, today i learned that correlation is not equal to causation"

johnny's mother was pleased: "so hiring this tutor is really helping you understand statistics!?"

johnny responded "well, not necessarily."

An objective analysis of the correlation between genetics and obesity.

A doctor is telling an obese woman that she needs to start losing weight.

The woman, offended, replies defensively, "It's not my fault! Obesity runs in my family!"

The doctor looks her up and down, and finally says, "*Nobody* runs in your family."

My ex told me we broke up because I'm too reliant on logic and refuse to acknowledge my emotions.

I told her, correlation is not causation.

Not saying there is a direct correlation between Trump's election...

But the Chinese did say this would be the year of the Cock ages ago!

Correlation and causation are used together often, so that must mean that the word "correlation" must cause people to use the word "causation"

I work at a vet. Recently a patient had one of it's toes removed, and I've noticed that he has become more of a dick.

Do you think that there is a actual correlation, or am I just lack-toes-intolerant?

Is there a correlation between the size of a nose and the sense of smell?

Because I read somewhere that back in World War II people with big noses smelled gas much more often.

I've been searching for college courses about correlation studies.

Except I cannot find the best fit.

Short Guy: "There's actually very little correlation between height and penis size. Trust me, I would know."

"My childhood priest was super tall."

A student is going through some hypotheticals about snakes to their biology teacher

student:"What if it bites me and it dies?"

Teacher:"that means you're poisonous."

Student:"What if it bites itself and I die?"

Teacher:"It's voodoo."

Student:"What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Teacher:"That's correlation, not causation."

Student:"what if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Teacher:"that's kinky."

Haircut/Sex Correlation Jesus Joke

I got that I looked like Jesus a lot when I had longer hair. It's a shame because I got a haircut and have been getting nailed less than the messiah lately.

TIL that a controversial study found strong positive correlation between intelligence and physical traits including genital size in men

You thought this was a different sub didn't you

I used the think that correlation implied causation, but now I know that it doesn't.

I took a statistics class last year, and that might have helped, but I'm not so sure.

What are the funniest correlation jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Correlation? Well, here are the best Correlation puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Correlation pick up lines to share with friends.

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