Correctness Jokes
51 correctness jokes and hilarious correctness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about correctness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh at the expense of political correctness with this collection of "Correctness Jokes"! Spanning from the logic-defying reasoning to the everyday nuances of punctuality and precision, these jokes may poke fun at a serious issue, but will definitely provide some light-heartedness.
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Funniest Correctness Short Jokes
Short correctness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The correctness humour may include short correctly jokes also.
- I called two girls hipsters and got slapped. Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
- I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking . Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
- My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
- I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall - Me: The earth isn't flat! fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it's the shape of an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn't you? - 62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville". Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
- 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
- My daughter said she needed adult supervision I told her she'd have to find someone else because I wear corrective lenses
- If I'm reading their lips correctly, my neighbors are arguing about some creepy guy next door.
- As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July. It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.
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Correctness One Liners
Which correctness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with correctness? I can suggest the ones about integrity and technically correct.
- Fun fact: You can't breathe correctly while smiling Just kidding, I made you smile :)
- Teacher: What is 117 + 3? Johny: 5!
Teacher: Correct.. - I admit I was wrong about how good my chiropractor is. I stand corrected.
- What's the correct way to pronounce nihilism? Doesn't matter.
- I didn't think my doctor could fix my bowed legs. I stand corrected.
- Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'
- I'm giving up alcohol for a month!!! Correction: I'm giving up! Alcohol for a month!!
- The only way to spell incorrectly correctly Is to spell it incorrectly.
- I used to hate chiropractors until I went to see one for my back Now I stand corrected
- "I stand corrected" Says the man wearing orthopedic shoes
- I used to think chiropractic adjustments didn't work. I stand corrected
- Never thought a foot doctor would help… …now I stand corrected.
- I didn't think a chiropracticor could help me but I stand corrected
- I didn't believe my friend who told me yoga would fix my posture I now stand corrected
- Any advice on correcting plastic surgery that has gone wrong? I'm all ears.
Political Correctness Jokes
Here is a list of funny political correctness jokes and even better political correctness puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Someone called me racist for saying "black paint" Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
- The world is so politically correct these days. You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"
- I hate all the political correctness these days, I can't even say "black paint" anymore. Now I have to say "Tyrone please paint the fence."
- The world is becoming too politically correct You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say "Lamar can you please paint the fence".
- It may not be "politically correct" to say this... ...but there are over one million U.S Senators.
- These days you can't even say "blackboard" anymore. The politically correct term is: "Jamal, get on my ship."
- Everything has to be politically correct nowadays.. Back in the day you could say black paint, nowadays you have to say 'Jerome, please paint the fence.'
- Political correctness has reached the level of absurdity For example, we can't say brown paint. Instead we should say "please paint that wall, Jose"
- Why is the Z the only politically-correct letter? Because all the other letters are not-Z's.
- Political correctness has gotten so restrictive these days. Now I can't even say, "Black paint." I have to say, "Please paint that wall, Tyrone."
Cheerful Correctness Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about correctness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean right and wrong jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make correctness pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
By legalizing Cannabis and same-s**... marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:
**"A man who lays with another man should be s**...."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]
Edit1: a typo
Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trump should not have said "s**...-hole countries".
The correct term is "t**...-world countries".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman visits her husband in prison
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"b**...! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"
A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer: You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!
The officer laughs and says, Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!
The wife replies: Bullsht! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Maybe replacement theory is correct.
Even neo-n**...'s are being replaced by black people.
A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig.
The man is found guilty and made to pay damages. After the trial, he asks the judge, Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?
The judge says, That is correct.
And does it mean that I can't call a pig Ms. Harding?
No, says the judge, you are free to call a pig Ms. Harding. There is no crime in that.
The man looks Ms. Harding in the eye and says, Good afternoon, Ms. Harding.
A new law
Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at least once a week," one of the guys answers the bartender. "Well it's not a law really," the other guy corrects him. "It's more of a mandate."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."
s**... auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... after Surgery
A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in s**....
A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Told an inmate to have a safe drive home.
I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:
Inmate: "drive home safe"
Me: "yeah you too..."
Me: (thinking "oops, ouch")
Coworker: "Muahahaha"
Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making f**... engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad"
Me and my coworker burst out laughing
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't worry if your phone corrects f**...' to 'duck'
You're still using fowl language.
