The Best 74 Correctly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Correctly jokes. There are some correctly nicely jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these correctly accurately puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Correctly Jokes and Puns

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

Edit1: a typo

Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!

An interesting joke

I remember a joke from a stand up show .
If I remember correctly it's from Gabriel Iglesias when he was in Saudi Arabia. The joke goes something like this .

Two Jews walk into a bar . Not in my country hehehe.

I remember this stupid joke from time to time and it cracks me up everytime

Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class...

Saul was asked to spell "cultivate," and he spelled it correctly.
He was then asked to use the word in a sentence, and, with a big smile,
responded: "Last vinter on a very cold day, I vas vaiting for a bus, but
it vas too cultivate, so I took the subvay home."

Correctly joke, Saul Epstein was taking an oral exam in his English as a Second Language class...

What are some dirty jokes you know?

I was asked to submit some dirty jokes to an ongoing event. The annoucer ask a person a dirty joke and if they guess the answer correctly they're awarded a prize.

An example of a dirty joke they've asked is "What do you call two people 69ing?"

"Odor eaters."

Any dirty jokes are greatly appreciated.

Blonde walks into a...

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."


The computer was claimed to answer anything correctly.

But the CEO didn't believe it, so he asked "Where's my father right now?". The computer beeped and whirred for a few seconds, and spat out "Your father is fishing in Canada". The CEO joyfully chortled "See, your computer isn't always right, my father died when I was 10 years old!" The computer spat out "Your mothers husband died 25 years ago. Your father just landed an 8 pound trout."

Use these four words correctly in a sentence: deduct, defense, defeat, and detail.

Deduct jumped over defense, defeat before detail

Correctly joke, Use these four words correctly in a sentence: deduct, defense, defeat, and detail.

Space Joke

What did the engineers say to the crew of astronauts after they discovered they didnt install the rockets correctly....

Guys, we really Apollo-gize

I just saw a BMW driver using his indicators correctly on the motorway. Twice.

Should I report the vehicle as stolen?

Star football player Steve was about to be sacked for bad grades . . .

. . . but the team was on a winning streak, and he was badly needed. The head coach pleaded with the college president, and managed to convince him to allow the student to continue to play if he could spell just one word correctly. "Okay, Steve," the coach told him. "It's an easy one. Just spell the name of your favorite drink." "Sure coach. Khaphy."

Anyone else here able to spell "condescending narcissist" correctly on the first try?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

You can explore correctly rightly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean correctly precisely dad jokes. There are also correctly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Two Laws in the Torah were fulfilled on the same day.

For those who haven't heard, Washington State recently passed two landmark laws: "Gay marriage" and The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says:

'If a man lies with another man, they should be stoned.' We just hadn't interpreted it correctly.

How many US Navy electricians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, and three hours. One to write the tags and hang them, one to second check and fix it, and a supervisor to verify the job was done correctly.

Stolen from Navy boyfriend

using french words correctly isnt my souffle

came up on twitter by @KevinFarzad. pretty sure its a joke, but i dont get it.

Summer was especially good this year in Canada... If I recall correctly it was a friday

My mother is like cloud storage.

Everyone shares her and i have no idea where she's located.

Ps: I don't know if i phrased everything correctly.

Correctly joke, My mother is like cloud storage.

Yo mamma's so fat

when she went on vacation, the locals correctly identified her as an American

I don't know which child you think I don't treat correctly...

Jake, Thomas or the fat ugly one?

A woman goes to the doctor...

A woman goes to the doctor with a raspberry in her left nostril, a string bean in her right, a carrot in her right ear and a banana in her left. The woman says

"Doctor, I don't fell so well."

And the doctor replied

"Well for one thing, you're *definitely* not eating correctly."


Abusing a word, done correctly

I have eye opening experiences every day, quite literally.

Originally, in The Force Awakens BB-8 had a brother. The robot would not stay on script or say his lines correctly, so he was fired.

It is sad, but you can't really feel bad for DV-8.

What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?

Viola.

What's the difference between babies and boomerangs?

If you throw a boomerang correctly, it will come back...

What does Fred Flintstone say when he correctly flips a water bottle?

YO BRA DAB I DO!

I won't lye about being a magician

I can't spell correctly

Ivy Cube Question

Today I got an Ivy Cube, and found out that many people faced the same problem as me. We can solve all but one corner will never orient correctly.

What do a lover and an electric guitar have in common?

You'll get a lot of feedback if you're not fingering them correctly.

For every one person that uses a Male Victorian Name correctly, another sixteen manage to misuse it.

Now that sounds like a pretty Hiratio to me.

A Grand Prize

I phoned my local radio station today.

When the guy answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."

"Wahoo!" I shouted in delight.

"It's a Maths question," he said. "Feeling
confident?"

"I've got a degree in Maths and I teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.

"Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to see Justin Bieber and to meet him back stage afterwards, what's 2+2?"

"7," I replied.

My doctor was a prejudice against left handed people. Today he correctly diagnosed me with a disease because I was left handed.

I guess he was right.

How do you put on a fitted bed sheet correctly the first time?

Step 1: Wrong.

Johnny was in school, and asked to go to the bathroom.

His teacher replied, "Not before you recite the alphabet correctly".

Johnny pleaded, "But I have to go really bad!", but his teacher was unrelenting.

Johnny said, "A B C D E F G, H I J K L M N O, Q R S T U V W X Y and Z"

The teacher stated, "What about the P?"

Johnny said, "It's running down my leg".

If I recall correctly, in the mid 1900s, Albert Einstein proposed a new theory on space,

and it was about time, too.

An English professor wrote these words...

a woman without her man is nothing

On the board and asked his students to punctuate correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote a woman, without her man, is nothing.

However, all of the women wrote, a woman: without her, man is nothing.

Advice for young women:

Men are like linoleum flooring. If you lay it correctly the first time, you can walk all over them for 30 + years.

I accidentally drove my lake into the car

Even if I said that correctly I'd still sound high

A South African-born student was suspended for applying for an African-American student prize.

He didn't fill out his application form correctly.

Someone has left a note under my my wipers to let me know that I've positioned my car correctly.

It says "Parking Fine", So that was nice of them.

They say you're supposed to strip completely naked in order to weigh yourself correctly...

I was very confused when I got arrested at a weight-loss meeting

By legalizing marijuana we understood the Bible correctly.

"A man who lays with another man should be stoned." [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

[For Programmers] Why wouldn't the web site render correctly?

Because it was an Edge case.

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

"A man who lays with another man should be stoned." [Leviticus 20:13]

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

The only way to spell incorrectly correctly

Is to spell it incorrectly.

I asked my friend sapper is his job stressful

He said "It's not. You either do everything correctly or it's no longer your problem"

Problems of Bein a non-native English speaker

The problem with being a non native English speaker is, that your brain sometimes just sucks up random words and you then use them later without really having a proper intestinal lining of said words. You just hope you used them correctly.

What does the goddess IO help you to do?

To connect flash drives correctly on the first try.

What did the guy say who didn't swollow his food correctly?

Nothing

haha, just choking.

A kid goes up to his father and asks for a bicycle.

His dad says, "If you can spell it out correctly, I'll get you one."

The kid thinks for a bit, then says, "Can I get a car instead?"

What do you call it when a model can't put leggings on correctly?

Apparently, fat-shaming

LEGIT :)

Legalizing gay marriage and marijuana at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense.

Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man they should be stoned. Apparently we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!

Quiz show

I was on a quiz show once and they asked me to come up with a 5-letter palindrome that starts with K.

It's a pity, I was stumped but if I had answered correctly I'd have won a new kayak.

Only 10% of Americans file their taxes correctly.

It's hard to believe that 95% of us can't do simple math.

I have never seen a UFO before...

because I'm always able to correctly identify the flying object

A therapist who couldn't pronounce his R's correctly was recently fired for being a white supremacist.

Because he told his patients that everything was going to be all white .

Bad at Titles

Teacher: Whoever answers the next question correctly, can go home early!

Student: \*raises hand\*

Teacher: What is it?

Student: It's me raising my hand, and now I can go home. Thanks!

Two men are having a conversation.

One says to the other, Hey I just heard about the lawsuit over your ship. If I remember correctly, your ship is built entirely out of stone accidentally destroyed another ship when they bumped into each other, right?

Yeah, the man responds solemnly. It's a real hardship.

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.

"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.

"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

Every Friday Mrs. Jones ask the class a question.

The kid that answers correctly gets to leave class early.

Timmy has never been that kid. But this Friday he decided it was his turn. Friday comes around and Timmy is ready. The class sits down and is listening for the question. Timmy pulls some marbles out and rolls them across the floor. The teacher turns around and says to the class.

"Alright kids, who's the comedian with the black balls?"

Timmy yells, "Chris Rock, See ya Monday Teach!"

A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.

One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".

As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July.

It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.

Being white has its disadvantages too, you know.

It can be super hard to find a rap song on iTunes when you spell all the words correctly.

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.

Einstein: asks a question.

Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.

Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.

Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?

Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.

Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*

Einstein asks: What is it?

Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the toilet.

He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'

The teacher replied, 'Now, Johnny, that is not the proper word to use in this situation.

The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'

Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'

Little Johnny, thinks for a bit, and then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!'

So what if I can't spell "armagedon" correctly ?

Its not the end of the world.

Fun fact: You can't breathe correctly while smiling

Just kidding, I made you smile :)

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the Bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]

If I'm reading their lips correctly,

my neighbors are arguing about some creepy guy next door.

If I'm good at lip reading correctly...

Then my neighbours are calling the police about some creepy guy staring at them through the window next door.

I find it hard to understand that people still don't know how to correctly use their , there and they're

Their so stupid.

A teacher told his students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.

"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily.

"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

By legalizing Cannabis and same-sex marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

"A man who lays with another man should be stoned."

How are men like a linoleum kitchen floor? If you are able to lay them correctly the first time,

Then You Are Able To Walk All Over Them For The Next Twenty Five Years.

The Russian president is on a visit to the USA.

So he is taken on a tour of various tech companies to show him their superiority.

"This," says Bob, "is the smartest computer in the world. Ask it any question, and it will answer you correctly."

The Russian president is intrigued. So he decides to trick the computer and asks: "Who will be the superpower 100 years from today?"

The computer goes silent for a minute, then prints out a paper which the Russian president takes.

"So?" asks Bob. "What does it say?"

"I have no idea," replied the Russian president. "It is written in Chinese"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the correctly spell jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working correctly properly piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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