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Correctly Jokes

110 correctly jokes and hilarious correctly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about correctly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Correctly Short Jokes

Short correctly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The correctly humour may include short correctness jokes also.

  1. I called two girls hipsters and got slapped. Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
  2. I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking . Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
  3. I angered two people by calling them hipsters... Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
  4. My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
  5. I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint You have to say
    Leroy, please paint that wall
  6. Fun fact: "sugar" is the only word in the English language where "su-" makes a "sh" sound. . . At least, I'm pretty sure that's correct.
  7. Me: The earth isn't flat! fiat earther: correct
    me: huh?
    fiat earther: it's the shape of an Italian car
    me: what?
    fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn't you?
  8. 62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville". Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
  9. 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
  10. My daughter said she needed adult supervision I told her she'd have to find someone else because I wear corrective lenses

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Correctly One Liners

Which correctly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with correctly? I can suggest the ones about technically correct and proper.

  1. Fun fact: You can't breathe correctly while smiling Just kidding, I made you smile :)
  2. Teacher: What is 117 + 3? Johny: 5!
    Teacher: Correct..
  3. The inventor of auto-correct has died his funnel is tomato
  4. We'll we'll we'll If it isn't auto correct.
  5. I admit I was wrong about how good my chiropractor is. I stand corrected.
  6. What's the correct way to pronounce nihilism? Doesn't matter.
  7. I didn't think my doctor could fix my bowed legs. I stand corrected.
  8. Auto-correct walks into a bar... And the batman says, 'why the log fence?'
  9. I'm giving up alcohol for a month!!! Correction: I'm giving up! Alcohol for a month!!
  10. The only way to spell incorrectly correctly Is to spell it incorrectly.
  11. I used to hate chiropractors until I went to see one for my back Now I stand corrected
  12. "I stand corrected" Says the man wearing orthopedic shoes
  13. I used to think chiropractic adjustments didn't work. I stand corrected
  14. I thought chiropractors were a waste of money But I stand corrected.
  15. I bought a 5 gallon drum of correction fluid the other day. Big mistake.

Correctly Answered Jokes

Here is a list of funny correctly answered jokes and even better correctly answered puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
  • So, my lesbian friend asked how I view lesbian relationships. In Hd was not the correct answer.
  • My wife once asked me if I would ever sleep with her sister if we split up. Which sister? is not the correct answer.
  • My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her. Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer.
  • My girlfriend just asked how mature I was on a scale of 1 to 100.. ..apparently 69 was not the correct answer.
  • I failed my Health and safety Test today apparently when they ask what steps you should take in case of a fire, large ones was not the correct answer
  • I failed my AP Biology test... They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"
    Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer
  • I failed my biology test today. The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"
    Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.
  • Today I Failed my Biology Test. One of the questions asked. What are normally found inside cells?
    Apparently, 'Black People' was not the correct answer.
  • My wife asked what I'd do without her. Apparently "live happily ever after" wasn't the correct answer.
Correctly joke, My wife asked what I'd do without her.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about correctly can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of correctly puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Witty Correctly Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about correctly you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean correct answer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make correctly prank.

By legalizing Cannabis and same-s**... marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

**"A man who lays with another man should be s**...."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]
Edit1: a typo
Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!

Trump should not have said "s**...-hole countries".

The correct term is "t**...-world countries".

A woman visits her husband in prison

Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"b**...! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"

Blonde walks into a...

A blonde goes into a laundry mat and asks to have her sweater cleaned. The laundromat attendant doesn't hear her correctly and says, "come again?" The blonde blushes slightly and giggles, "oh, no it's just mustard this time."

I hate how politically correct the world is today

Instead of saying "Black paint" I now have to say "Jamal please paint"

Everything's so politically correct nowadays that you can't even say "black paint."

Instead you have to say "Jamaal please paint my fence."

The world is so politically correct these days.

You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"

Hipsters

I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".

Political correctness gone mad.

I can't even refer to my own child as my disabled son.
Apparently it's my "daughter."

s**... after Surgery

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in s**....
A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"

Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"

Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".

A woman goes to the doctor...

A woman goes to the doctor with a raspberry in her left nostril, a string bean in her right, a carrot in her right ear and a banana in her left. The woman says
"Doctor, I don't fell so well."
And the doctor replied
"Well for one thing, you're *definitely* not eating correctly."

How does an ant put on a tie?

With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke.

Apparently saying "Black Paint" is not politically correct,

The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"

About 4,000 years ago:

God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!

The world is becoming too politically correct

You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say "Lamar can you please paint the fence".

The funny thing about teen pregnancy is that before it happens all you hear is "Don't do it! You'll regret it! You'll lose your freedom! Make the responsible choice!" Then after it happens, they say "We're a still disappointed, but we can still make the best of this. It's not the end of the world."

s**... auto-correct: I meant "Trump's presidency" not "teen pregnancy".

Today a Gender Studies student asked me how our society viewed l**...

Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer.
Time to update my display to 4K.

Hippies.

Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.

Told an inmate to have a safe drive home.

I'm a corrections officer, getting ready to head out at shift change:
Inmate: "drive home safe"
Me: "yeah you too..."
Me: (thinking "oops, ouch")
Coworker: "Muahahaha"
Inmate: (hops into his imaginary car and shuffles to his cell making f**... engine noises, screeches the brakes, steps out of his car and into his cell. Pokes his head out) "Made it home safe dad"
Me and my coworker burst out laughing

How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to tell you they are vegans.
.......
Well apparently the correct answer is three. The extra one is needed to post whiny replies when they all get triggered by this joke.

After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."

Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.

Board Game Shop

Me: I want a dice.
Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.
Me: I want 2 die.
Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.
Me: I want 2 die alone.

People today are so politically correct. You can't even say black paint,

You have to say "Leeroy, please paint my fence."

I hate all the political correctness these days, I can't even say "black paint" anymore.

Now I have to say "Tyrone please paint the fence."

The CEO of Pepsi was fired this morning.

They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.
*I have to be factually correct.

I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking."

Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."

By legalizing Cannabis and same-s**... marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

"A man who lays with another man should be s**...." [Leviticus 20:13]

Doctor: I'm afraid you're suffering from Auto Correct Syndrome

Patient: I didn't even know I was I'll

Doctor: I'm sorry John, but you suffer from Auto Correct Syndrome

John: I didn't even know I was I'll

I had s**... with my new girlfriend for the first time last night.

When we finished, she rolled off of me and said "wow, you're by far the biggest I've ever had!" Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.

With all the politically correct agenda these days, you can't even say Black Paint!

You have to say, Leroy, please paint my fence!

A student receives a bad grade on his exam

And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'

I'm dating an English teacher who keeps correcting my grammar during s**....

She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of the colon.

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-b**... and a ball of string on the counter.
The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she."

If I ever opened a car repair shop, I would call it "Auto-Correct".

Then I'd paint the floor with those red squiggly lines...

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

A teacher told the students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."
Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

As a non-American, I love seeing Americans saying Happy 4th of July.

It's the only time Americans pronounce dates correctly.

What not to put in one's mouth

One day, the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.
Little Johnny says, It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth.
The teacher says, That is correct, but why?
Little Johnny answers, I don't know, but my mom always tells my dad, 'Turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!'

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: "I'll ask you a question.​If you can't answer correctly, you'll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can't answer correctly, I'll give you 1000 dollars.
Einstein: asks a question.
Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.
Einstein says: Okay, it's your turn.
Mr. Bean asks: What's an animal that has four legs, but when it's crossing a street, it has three legs and when it's on the other side of the street, it has only two?
Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.
Einstein says: I give up. *Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean*
Einstein asks: What is it?
Mr. Bean: gives a dollar to Einstein.

If I'm reading their lips correctly,

my neighbors are arguing about some creepy guy next door.

A teacher told his students, "The person who answers my next question correctly gets to leave class early."

Suddenly, a pen came flying across to room, practically hitting the teacher in the face.
"Who threw that?!" the teacher shouted, angrily.
"Me!" piped up a voice from the back of the classroom. "Can I leave now?"

By legalizing Cannabis and same-s**... marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:

"A man who lays with another man should be s**...."

Fourth of July,

The only time of the year an American can say the day and month in the correct order.

A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig.

The man is found guilty and made to pay damages. After the trial, he asks the judge, Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?
The judge says, That is correct.
And does it mean that I can't call a pig Ms. Harding?
No, says the judge, you are free to call a pig Ms. Harding. There is no crime in that.
The man looks Ms. Harding in the eye and says, Good afternoon, Ms. Harding.

Everybody gets mad when I say Jesus was white, but I have proof.

If my understanding of transubstantiation is correct, Jesus is a c**....

A new law

Two guys walk into a bar and order lunch. "What brings you guys in today?" the bartender asks. "I guess you haven't heard yet. The mayor passed a law yesterday to try to help out local restaurants during Covid-19. All adult males are required to go and eat lunch out with their best male friends at least once a week," one of the guys answers the bartender. "Well it's not a law really," the other guy corrects him. "It's more of a mandate."

Me: The earth isn't flat

Me: The earth isn't flat.
Fiat earther: Correct.
Me: huh?
Fiat earther: It's shaped like an Italian car.
Me: what?
Fiat earther: You read my name wrong, didn't you?

I had a hunch that I wouldn't like the chiropractor, but he fixed my posture so...

...I stand corrected.

Don't worry if your phone corrects f**...' to 'duck'

You're still using fowl language.

I got fired from my job because I kept asking the customers if they prefer smoking or nonsmoking.

Apparently the correct terms are "Cremation" and "Burial".

A blonde woman visits her husband in prison.

Before leaving, she tells a correction officer: You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!
The officer laughs and says, Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!
The wife replies: Bullsht! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!

I got fired from my job yesterday for saying smoking or non smoking

But apparently the correct terms were cremation and burial

Maybe replacement theory is correct.

Even neo-n**...'s are being replaced by black people.

I never though that orthopedic shoes would be good for me.....

but, after trying a pair, I stand corrected.

An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II

An SS man says to a Jew in a concentration camp: "You are to be killed today, but I will give you a chance. One of my eyes is a glass eye. If you can guess which one it is, I will give you your life."
The Jew looks at the SS man and says, "The left one, Herr Corporal."
"That is correct. How did you recognize it?"
"Because it looks so human."

[OC] Did you hear about that new Anatomically Correct Elmo doll they're working on?

Before they sell it to the kids, they're gonna give it two test tickles.

I got thrown off of a TV commercial set a few years ago.

We were filming an ad for Taco Bell. The director didn't like being corrected. He kept saying "That's a wrap" when clearly it was a Taco Supreme.

Correctly joke, I got thrown off of a TV commercial set a few years ago.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these correctly jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.