The Best 62 Correct Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Correct jokes. There are some correct corrective jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these correct proper puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Correct Jokes and Puns
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint
You have to say
Leroy, please paint that wall
Trump should not have said "shit-hole countries".
The correct term is "turd-world countries".
I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.
Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking .
Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther
He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.
A researcher carrying out a phone survey on marital sex...
phoned one of the participants to check on a discrepancy. He asked the husband: "In response to the question on frequency of intercourse, you answered 'once a week,' but your wife answered 'several times a night.'"
"That's correct," said the husband. "And that's the way it's going to be until the mortgage is paid off."
I took my Biology exam last Friday
I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
I hate how politically correct the world is today
Instead of saying "Black paint" I now have to say "Jamal please paint"
Everything's so politically correct nowadays that you can't even say "black paint."
Instead you have to say "Jamaal please paint my fence."
So, my lesbian friend asked how I view lesbian relationships.
In Hd was not the correct answer.
A feminist and a linguist walk into a bar
They sit down and begin a conversation.
The linguist asks, "Do you have any siblings?"
The feminist replies, "Yes, I have a sister. I'm very close with she."
The linguist, confused, tries to correct her. "Don't you mean 'with her'?"
The feminist is outraged and screams, "Stop objectifying women!"
You can explore correct incorrectly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean correct goan dad jokes. There are also correct puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The world is so politically correct these days.
You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"
I failed my Health and Safety Test today
apparently when they ask what steps you should take in case of a fire, large ones was not the correct answer
Hipsters
I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".
Sex after Surgery
A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"
Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"
Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".
My girlfriend just asked how mature I was on a scale of 1 to 100..
..apparently 69 was not the correct answer.
I failed my biology test today.
The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.
It may not be "politically correct" to say this...
...but there are over one million U.S Senators.
How does an ant put on a tie?
With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke.
Apparently saying "Black Paint" is not politically correct,
The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"
The world is becoming too politically correct
You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say "Lamar can you please paint the fence".
Today a Gender Studies student asked me how our society viewed lesbians
Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer.
Time to update my display to 4K.
Hippies.
Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.
I don't think it's correct to call them grammar Nazis anymore...
They seem to prefer the label "alt-write" nowadays.
So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.
Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.
I failed my AP Biology test...
They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"
Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer
What's the correct way to pronounce nihilism?
Doesn't matter.
How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to tell you they are vegans.
.......
Well apparently the correct answer is three. The extra one is needed to post whiny replies when they all get triggered by this joke.
After sex with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."
Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.
Board Game Shop
Me: I want a dice.
Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.
Me: I want 2 die.
Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.
Me: I want 2 die alone.
People today are so politically correct. You can't even say black paint,
You have to say "Leeroy, please paint my fence."
4th of July,
The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
My wife once asked me if I would ever sleep with her sister if we split up.
Which sister? is not the correct answer.
My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her.
Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer.
The CEO of Pepsi was fired this morning.
They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.
*I have to be factually correct.
I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking."
Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."
TIL "Sugar" is the only "su"-word in the english language that makes the "sh"-sound!
(I haven't actually fact-checked this one, but I'm pretty sure it's correct)
We'll we'll we'll
If it isn't auto correct.
The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."
"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."
Everything has to be politically correct nowadays..
Back in the day you could say black paint, nowadays you have to say 'Jerome, please paint the fence.'
Doctor: I'm afraid you're suffering from Auto Correct Syndrome
Patient: I didn't even know I was I'll
Doctor: I'm sorry John, but you suffer from Auto Correct Syndrome
John: I didn't even know I was I'll
I had sex with my new girlfriend for the first time last night.
When we finished, she rolled off of me and said "wow, you're by far the biggest I've ever had!" Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
With all the politically correct agenda these days, you can't even say Black Paint!
You have to say, Leroy, please paint my fence!
A student receives a bad grade on his exam
And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.
He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"
The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".
The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'
62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville".
Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-balls and a ball of string on the counter.
The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she."
They say that sex is the best form of exercise
Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every three months is going to shift this beer belly.
These days you can't even say "blackboard" anymore.
The politically correct term is: "Jamal, get on my ship."
A Priest a rabbit and a Minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit,what'll you have?
The rabbit says" I don't know I'm only here because of auto correct".
I angered two people by calling them hipsters...
Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.
What not to put in one's mouth
One day, the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.
Little Johnny says, It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth.
The teacher says, That is correct, but why?
Little Johnny answers, I don't know, but my mom always tells my dad, 'Turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!'
Land O Lakes
Have you guys seen the new Land O Lakes butter packaging? They removed the Native American girl from their labels to be more politically correct.
Now that's the most American thing I've ever seen; remove the Indian and keep the land.
I was asked what the most important thing in a relationship was
Advil was not the correct answer
Me: what starts with "W" and ends with "T"
Me: what starts with "W" and ends with "T".
Friend: what?
Me: correct.
Fourth of July,
The only time of the year an American can say the day and month in the correct order.
Why isn't Medusa politically correct?
She is always objectifying people
Forth annual Hicksville spelling b
Down to the last 3 contestants....
The last word is before;
Judge; contestant #1 the word is before
C1: Before b e f o u r befour
Judge: I'm sorry but that is incorrect!
Contestant #2, the word is before
C2: before b e f o r. Before.
Judge: I'm sorry but that is incorrect!
Contestant #3, same word, before.
C3: before b e f o r e BEFORE
JUDGE: That is correct! Now can you use it in a sentence?
C3: yes, 2 + 2 before
A man picks up a girl at a party. They proceed to her place and things start to heat up....
He takes his shirt off and then washes his hands. He takes his pants off and washes hands again. After watching this for a few minutes, the girl says, "I bet you're a dentist." Surprised he replies, "That's correct. How did you know?" "You keep washing your hands, so I figure you're used to it ..." They go on and have sex and then afterward she says, "You know what? I'm willing to bet you're a very good dentist." "Oh? How can you tell?" he asks. "Well, I didn't feel a thing..."
A woman told me I was the biggest she'd ever had..
Apparently ditto wasn't the correct repsonse
A woman sues a man for defamation of character, charging that he called her a pig.
The man is found guilty and made to pay damages. After the trial, he asks the judge, Does this mean that I can no longer call Ms. Harding a pig?
The judge says, That is correct.
And does it mean that I can't call a pig Ms. Harding?
No, says the judge, you are free to call a pig Ms. Harding. There is no crime in that.
The man looks Ms. Harding in the eye and says, Good afternoon, Ms. Harding.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the correct inaccurate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working correct precise piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.