Correct Jokes

Following is our collection of incorrectly puns and corrective one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Correct jokes for adults, dirty goan jokes and clean proper dad gags for kids.

The Best Correct Puns

Trump should not have said "shit-hole countries".

The correct term is "turd-world countries".

I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.

Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking .

Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .

I angered two people by calling them hipsters...

Apparently the correct term is conjoined twins.

My friend gets really upset when I call him a flat-Earther

He says the correct term is bulldozer operator.


I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

After sex with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."

Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.

Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.

62% of Kentuckians pronounce their state capital "Loo-uh-vul", while 38% say "Loo-ee-ville".

Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.

4th of July,

The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.

Hipsters

I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".

Sex after Surgery

A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"


A student receives a bad grade on his exam

And he goes to talk to the teacher, convinced that he's been graded unfairly.

He says to the teacher "I think I deserve some points on these questions, even if my answers weren't entirely correct!"

The teacher sighs and says "ok, I'll take another look at your exam".

The student comes home, and his mother asks him "so how did the exam go?". He replies: "the teacher thought it was remarkable!'

Someone called me racist for saying "black paint"

Apparently the politically correct term is "Tyrone, please paint the fence".

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.

She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton-balls and a ball of string on the counter.
The sales girl says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?"
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's so much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own... so does she."

Apparently saying "Black Paint" is not politically correct,

The right way to say it is "Tyrone, please paint the wall"

What not to put in one's mouth

One day, the teacher asked the children in class to give examples of what was not good to put in one's mouth.

Little Johnny says, It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth.

The teacher says, That is correct, but why?

Little Johnny answers, I don't know, but my mom always tells my dad, 'Turn off the light before you put it in my mouth!'

So I was in math class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69.

Apparently, "I do." is not the correct answer.

People today are so politically correct. You can't even say black paint,

You have to say "Leeroy, please paint my fence."

So, my lesbian friend asked how I view lesbian relationships.

In Hd was not the correct answer.


I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking."

Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."

I hate how politically correct the world is today

Instead of saying "Black paint" I now have to say "Jamal please paint"

How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to tell you they are vegans.
.......
Well apparently the correct answer is three. The extra one is needed to post whiny replies when they all get triggered by this joke.

We'll we'll we'll

If it isn't auto correct.

How does an ant put on a tie?

With a considerable deal of practice and skill and the correct combination of knots in the tie so it can properly be secured on the neck. It's an ant-tie joke.

Board Game Shop

Me: I want a dice.


Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.


Me: I want 2 die.


Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.


Me: I want 2 die alone.

I had sex with my new girlfriend for the first time last night.

When we finished, she rolled off of me and said "wow, you're by far the biggest I've ever had!" Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.

Doctor: I'm sorry John, but you suffer from Auto Correct Syndrome

John: I didn't even know I was I'll

My wife once asked me if I would ever sleep with her sister if we split up.

Which sister? is not the correct answer.

Hippies.

Had the pleasure to meet a couple of hippies today, and they hooted at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term was 'conjoined twins'.

Today a Gender Studies student asked me how our society viewed lesbians

Apparently, in HD wasn't the correct answer.

Time to update my display to 4K.

The CEO of Pepsi was fired this morning.

They found trace amounts of Coke in *her system.

*I have to be factually correct.

What's the correct way to pronounce nihilism?

Doesn't matter.

Everything's so politically correct nowadays that you can't even say "black paint."

Instead you have to say "Jamaal please paint my fence."

Doctor: I'm afraid you're suffering from Auto Correct Syndrome

Patient: I didn't even know I was I'll

With all the politically correct agenda these days, you can't even say Black Paint!

You have to say, Leroy, please paint my fence!

The world is so politically correct these days.

You used to be able to say "black paint." Now it has to be "Jamal can you please paint my wall?"

My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her.

Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer.

The world is becoming too politically correct

You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say "Lamar can you please paint the fence".

They say that sex is the best form of exercise

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every three months is going to shift this beer belly.

Land O Lakes

Have you guys seen the new Land O Lakes butter packaging? They removed the Native American girl from their labels to be more politically correct.

Now that's the most American thing I've ever seen; remove the Indian and keep the land.

TIL "Sugar" is the only "su"-word in the english language that makes the "sh"-sound!

(I haven't actually fact-checked this one, but I'm pretty sure it's correct)

My girlfriend just asked how mature I was on a scale of 1 to 100..

..apparently 69 was not the correct answer.

These days you can't even say "blackboard" anymore.

The politically correct term is: "Jamal, get on my ship."

It may not be "politically correct" to say this...

...but there are over one million U.S Senators.

I failed my Health and Safety Test today

apparently when they ask what steps you should take in case of a fire, large ones was not the correct answer

The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."

"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."

I failed my AP Biology test...

They asked; "what is something commonly found in cells?"

Apparently black people wasn't the correct answer

I don't think it's correct to call them grammar Nazis anymore...

They seem to prefer the label "alt-write" nowadays.

A feminist and a linguist walk into a bar

They sit down and begin a conversation.

The linguist asks, "Do you have any siblings?"

The feminist replies, "Yes, I have a sister. I'm very close with she."

The linguist, confused, tries to correct her. "Don't you mean 'with her'?"

The feminist is outraged and screams, "Stop objectifying women!"

I took my Biology exam last Friday

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

A Priest a rabbit and a Minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit,what'll you have?

The rabbit says" I don't know I'm only here because of auto correct".

I failed my biology test today.

The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"

Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.

Everything has to be politically correct nowadays..

Back in the day you could say black paint, nowadays you have to say 'Jerome, please paint the fence.'

how many corrections officers does it take to throw an inmate down the stairs?

none he fell

A researcher carrying out a phone survey on marital sex...

phoned one of the participants to check on a discrepancy. He asked the husband: "In response to the question on frequency of intercourse, you answered 'once a week,' but your wife answered 'several times a night.'"

"That's correct," said the husband. "And that's the way it's going to be until the mortgage is paid off."

TIL that it's not politically correct to say someone is gay...

The preferred term is "Navy enlisted personnel."

There is an abundance of inaccurate jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 56 funniest jokes and correct puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any precise witze you can hear about correct.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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