The Best 60 Corpse Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Corpse jokes. There are some corpse forensics jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these corpse cremate puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Corpse Jokes and Puns

I should have known the free corpse offer was a scam....

The scheme was a dead giveaway!

Dirty Joke

My sex life with my wife has started degrading.

Guess it's time to Bury her corpse

How does a corpse write music?

He decomposes.

Corpse joke, How does a corpse write music?

Did you hear about the patriotic zombie who wanted to serve his country?

He joined the Marine Corpse.

How many corpses does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently more than 3, because it's been a week and my basement is still dark.

Samantha got married

Samantha got married. And on the first day of their honeymoon, she and her husband had a fight. After a few hours of screaming and yelling Samantha cries and calls her mother.

Samamtha: "Ma, me and Steve had a fight."

Mother: "Oh, my dear Samantha, don't worry. I too had a fight with your father on our honeymonn."

Samantha: "And what did you do with the corpse?"

What does a rotting corpse say?


Corpse joke, What does a rotting corpse say?

Two cannibals are settling down to have a meal...

.... They agree that it is best if each of them start at one end of the corpse. After a few minutes, the one who started at the head asks "how's it going down there?"

The other replies: "oh, I'm having a ball over here..."

The first yells: "Oi, slow down, you're eating too fast!"

The only way Donald Trump could have caused more offense

this past year is by fisting the corpse of the Cecil the Lion.

A corpse walks into a bar...

And asks the bartender for a lemonade.

"Of course!" says the bartender, "I've never seen a stiff drink!"

Courtesy of the video game Fable 3.

What do you call a well-dressed corpse?

A formality.

You can explore corpse coroner reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean corpse necrophile dad jokes. There are also corpse puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I ran over a child who was on his way to band practice carrying his cymbals. I'll never forget that horrible sound as I rolled past his motionless corpse.

Ba dum tiss

An old man is dying..

His grandson asks him, "papa.. What will happen to your body when you die?" the grandfather looks up weakly at him and says, "I decay...". Just then his monitor flat lines and the boy sat wondering why his grandfather didnt know what would happen to his corpse.

What do you call a Muslim woman with an opinion?

A corpse.

In Hinduism, cows are sacred, are to be revered and certainly should not be eaten.

However, the Christians eat Jesus' corpse.

What is the best place to hide a corpse?

On the second page of Google

Corpse joke, What is the best place to hide a corpse?

What do you call an attractive primate corpse in Saudi Arabia?

Haram bae

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?


On a hunch, I tried looking for the murderer at the corpse auction.

As soon as the auctioneer started it was a dead giveaway.

My wife and I are doing role reversal to spice up our sex life...

She's going to be the aggressor, and I'm going to lay there like a corpse.

If a fish died in the ocean...

...does it become a marine corpse?

I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room.

For Jesus.

What do you call sodium chloride beating someone up with Bruce Lee's corpse?

A salt with a dead Lee weapon

Where's the best place to hide a corpse?

The second page of search results.

What so you call a corpse that won't admit it's own sexuality?

A skeleton in the closet.

How do you make a human corpse float?

Two scoops ice cream, one scoop human corpse, and half a liter of root beer.

So, a corpse walks into a bar...

"Can I have a lemonade?" He asks the bartender.

The bartender says "Sure, I've never seen a stiff drink."

What do you call a programmer who never creates bugs?

A corpse.

Police baffed by grave robber

Local police were having a hard time catching a grave robber. He figured he would minimize his time in the graveyard by taking the whole corpse so he could take fillings out at his leisure. To hide the evidence he was adopting out the skeletons to worthy goths on Craig's List.

Turns out that was a dead give away.

Do you think corpses are funny?

They are dead serious.

What is it called when 4 men gang rape a corpse?

Having a cold one with the boys.

if Newton heard someone suggest his corpse could move without an external force acting upon it...

...he would roll over in his grave.

Police investigating the feline corpse discovered in a Zerox machine.....

have said this may be a copy cat killing

Two cannibals are eating a corpse during a blizzard

One sees a figure in the distance and asks, "You think that was Dad?"

The other says, "Yeah I thought that tasted familiar"

Things you shouldn't do at a funeral:

The corpse.

Is joke from Latvia. I tell now.

Latvian try to cross river. Has dog, potatoes, and dead son's body. Can only take two across river at one time. If he leave dog with potatoes or corpse, dog eat them. Is very sad. Also is not good boat.

What do you call a person who loves having sex with a black corpse.

A Negrophiliac.

What's the best part of dating a coroner?

I don't have to decide between a warm body or the smell of corpse.

A monk had sex with a practically decomposed corpse.

It was considered a grave offense.

(True story in the Buddhist "Book Of Discipline volume 1")

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Trump.

Although that isn't really fair to say, since any other corpse would be too.

In 1944, a unit of zombie dolphins were deployed by the allies to assist in the invasion of Normandy.

They were named the marine corpse

What's the difference between a shirt and a corpse?

One's a casualty and the other is a casual tee

Why is the number 288 like a rotten corpse?

It's two gross.

You cannot serve two masters at one time

But if you wait for the guests to finish the first, before you bring out the second, you could make it a multi corpse meal.

Why did the corpse miss her wedding?

cold feet

Why was Donkey Kongs corpse smelling?

It was beginning to DK

What is the difference between a corpse and a homeless person?

The corpse has a permanent place to stay.

How many corpses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It must be more than eight, 'cause my basement's still dark.

Two hillbillies are discussing plans for dinner

After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, "how about Himalayan Woodchuck?"

"Himalayan Woodchuck?" the other hillbilly scoffed. "What in the devil is that?"

"You know," the other says, gesturing towards the corpse, "because we found Himalayan on the side of the road."

If a zombie is bad at golf

Would it be par for the corpse?

Two cannibals stumble upon a corpse

They decide to eat the body. One started at the head while the other began with the feet. As they were eating, the face eater asks the other, How's it going?

The foot chewer replies I am having a ball.

Slow down, you're eating too fast ο»Ώ

What's the difference between a nurse and a corpse?

None, both of them turn on sick people.

Do mummies enjoy being mummies?

Of corpse!

What does a corpse and a phone-booth have in common?

I don't need permission to come inside either.

"I put that corpse in a body bag!"

– a coroner who thinks he did a really good job

What do you call it when someone dies on the Lewis and Clark Expedition?

Corpse of Discovery

A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"

Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.

When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"

I work at a crematorium, and recently received an unclaimed corpse that came with a note that read: inherited wealthβ€”never worked a day in his life. So I cremated him, and put his ashes in an hour glass...

he's been working ever since.

A man was stranded on an island and was visited by a genie who gave him one wish.

3 weeks later rescuers found a corpse with a 3 foot dong.

Two corpses are lying in a grave and one turns to the other and says, Dude, why are you rotting?

The other turns to him and says, I decay.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the corpse necrophiliac jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working corpse carcasses piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes