Corps Jokes

Following is our collection of squadron puns and legion one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Corps jokes for adults, dirty infantry jokes and clean press dad gags for kids.

The Best Corps Puns

How many corpses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It must be more than eight, 'cause my basement's still dark.

No problems

A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.

How does a corpse write music?

He decomposes.

How can you tell if someone has been in the Marine Corps?

Don't worry. They'll tell you.

How many corpses does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently more than 3, because it's been a week and my basement is still dark.


What do you call a retired Marine in a Chevy sports car?

A Corps vet in a Corvette.

Why did the corpse miss her wedding?

cold feet

What does a corpse and a phone-booth have in common?

I don't need permission to come inside either.

I encountered a courteous, safe driver in a practical vehicle that had a marine corps decal on the rear windshield.

What did Holly Holm say to Ronda Rousey's date to the Marine Corps Ball?

I hit that.

Do you think corpses are funny?

They are dead serious.


A corpse walks into a bar...

And asks the bartender for a lemonade.

"Of course!" says the bartender, "I've never seen a stiff drink!"

Courtesy of the video game Fable 3.

So, a corpse walks into a bar...

"Can I have a lemonade?" He asks the bartender.

The bartender says "Sure, I've never seen a stiff drink."

What do you get when a marine dies?

Marine Corps.

It's hard to budget the United States Marine Corps

It's not that they eat too many crayons. It's that they throw away the flavors they don't like.

A member of the Army Corps of Engineers was working on the design of the bottom of an android

"What exactly is going on?", I asked.

He replied, "A Major engineering feet."

What did one corpse say to the other...

There is an abundance of battalion jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 17 funniest jokes and corps puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any labs witze you can hear about corps.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes