Corps Jokes
32 corps jokes and hilarious corps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about corps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get a good laugh with these hilarious Marine Corps jokes! From surrender jokes to regiment jokes to squadron jokes, these are some of the best jokes in the US Marine Corps. Read them now and share a good laugh with friends!
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Funniest Corps Short Jokes
Short corps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The corps humour may include short troops jokes also.
- I encountered a courteous, safe driver in a practical vehicle that had a marine corps decal on the rear windshield.
- TIL in 1970, Xerox Corp sued IBM for patent infringement. Who would thought Xerox would get upset over somebody copying.
- It's hard to budget the United States Marine Corps It's not that they eat too many crayons. It's that they throw away the flavors they don't like.
- A member of the Army Corps of Engineers was working on the design of the bottom of an android "What exactly is going on?", I asked.
He replied, "A Major engineering feet." - Took a road trip to Texas I ended up in a city where every dude in the Corp was named Chris T.
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Corps One Liners
Which corps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with corps? I can suggest the ones about corporation and brigade.
- Why did the necrophiliac join the navy? So he could enter the marine corps.
- How can you tell if someone has been in the Marine Corps? Don't worry. They'll tell you.
- What do you call a retired Marine in a Chevy sports car? A Corps vet in a Corvette.
- What do you call a soldier that's dead in the water? Marine Corps
- What did Holly Holm say to Ronda Rousey's date to the Marine Corps Ball? I hit that.
- What do you get when a marine dies? Marine Corps.
- Tom Hanks on buying coffee machines for WH press corps 'Those poor b**... need coffee'
- So the Marine Corps called today... I told them I was gay. They hung up. Works every time
Cheeky Corps Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about corps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean armed forces jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make corps pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many corpses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It must be more than eight, 'cause my basement's still dark.
No problems
A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.
How does a corpse write music?
He decomposes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two corpses are lying in a grave and one turns to the other and says, Dude, why are you rotting?
The other turns to him and says, I decay.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why was the corpse late for the f**...?
They had to rehearse on the way.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Man, the US Marine Corps really s**... up when they named their hand to hand fighting style the 'Marine Corps Martial Arts Program'.
They could have named it Semper Fu.
What does a corpse and a phone-booth have in common?
I don't need permission to come inside either.
Do you think corpses are funny?
They are dead serious.
A corpse walks into a bar...
And asks the bartender for a lemonade.
"Of course!" says the bartender, "I've never seen a stiff drink!"
Courtesy of the video game Fable 3.
So, a corpse walks into a bar...
"Can I have a lemonade?" He asks the bartender.
The bartender says "Sure, I've never seen a stiff drink."
Islamic Star Trek?
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech, and walked out into the lobby of the convention center where he was introduced to a United States Marine Corps General.
As they talked, the Iranian said, "I have just one question about what I have seen in
America ."
The General said, "Well, is there anything I can do to help?"
The Iranian whispered, "My son watches this show called 'Star Trek' and in it there
is Kirk who is Canadian, Chekhov who is Russian, Scotty who is Scottish, Uhura who is black, and Sulu who is Japanese, but there are NO Muslims. My son is very upset and doesn't understand why there aren't any Iranians, Iraqis, Afghans, Egyptians, Palestinians, Saudis, Syrians, or Pakistanis on 'Star Trek'.
"The General leaned toward the Iranian Ambassador, and whispered in his ear, "That's because it takes place in the future..."
What did one corpse say to the other...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Interview joke . National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL REINWALD: Well, ma'am, you're equipped to be a p**..., but you're not one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
The Marine Corp and the radio
One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, California, we were preparing for a ten-mile march in 100-degree weather when a jeep drove up with a large radio in the back.
"Who knows anything about radios?" our drill instructor asked.
Several hands went up, and anticipating a ride in the jeep, recruits began listing their credentials. Everything from a degree in communications to a part-time job in a repair shop was declared.
The DI listened to all the contenders, then pointed to the most qualified. "You!" he barked. "Carry the radio."
What do corpses do on the 4th of July?
They rot.
