Corporation Jokes
54 corporation jokes and hilarious corporation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about corporation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Corporation Short Jokes
Short corporation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The corporation humour may include short corporate jokes also.
- I have an irrational fear of large intricate corporate buildings. You could say I have a complex complex complex.
- What do American police have in common with American Congress? They only serve and protect corporate interests.
- camouflage training Drill Sergeant: "I DID NOT SEE YOU AT camouflage TRAINING THIS MORNING CORPORAL!!!!"
Corporal: "Thank you sir." - What are the two biggest lies when working for a large corporation? "Hello. I'm from the head office and I'm here to help you"
"Welcome. We're glad to have you" - Medieval Minstrels were the first victims of EA's corporate greed They could only access their instruments by opening Lute Boxes
- Whats the difference between the government and corporations One controls politics, the other is the government
- Trading gold for a good consulting / corporate or office joke... Guys, it's been a long day, I need a laugh and I've got three months of gold to give away. Help me out?
- I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, covered in cream, and purchased from a large multinational corporation with a history of exploitation
- Long John Silver's is the perfect representation of corporate greed. Nearly everything that company does is selfish.
- I know for a fact corporations are trying to put chips in our bodies Lay's and Ruffles are buy one get one free at the grocery store
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Corporation One Liners
Which corporation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with corporation? I can suggest the ones about company and corporate office.
- I won't believe corporations are people Until Texas executes one.
- What are the three branches of the government? Military, Corporate, and Hollywood
- Who has killed more indians than John Wayne? Union Carbide Corporation
- What did the sergeant say to the corporal? I need to see your privates.
- Why does EA keep winning Worst Corporation In America? Because Ubisoft is French.
- Do Sergeants believe in Corporal punishment... Or is that a Private matter ?
- Why are corporations and mosques so similar? They both only care about the prophet
- I'm not sure I like Duluth Trading Company's corporate policies. They have room to grow.
- A gaggle of geese, a brood of hens, what do you call a group of turkeys? A corporation.
- What hotel did Blockbuster rent for their corporate retreats? Hotel Rewind-a.
- Paradox Corporation just opened. They're doing everything they can to go out of business.
- corporations freed the slaves down from half price
- What's the most dangerous thing in the corporate ocean? The Loan Shark
- Our corporate travel agency booked me a flight on United I got reservations.
- Why couldn't the ghost possess anyone? The struggle was corporeal.
Ridiculous Corporation Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about corporation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean corps jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make corporation pranks.
Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation...
One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or j**... and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "Well, you'd better j**.... I've got a headache."
Many ravens are called a congress...
Owls are a parliament, eagles are a convocation and crows are a m**....
Does this mean that a group of vultures are a corporation?
An aspiring writer once said, I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!
He now writes error messages for the Microsoft Corporation.
What's the difference between s**... and a corporation?
In s**... the person on top does most of the work
If brand slogans were honest...
Hallmark: When you care enough to give a card mass-produced by
a corporation.
Ritz crackers: Tiny, edible plates.
CliffsNotes: They're still going to know you didn't read the book.
Gillette: We're just going to keep adding blades.
ChapStick: You'll misplace it before the tube's empty.
Hot Pockets: Every bite is a different temperature.
Sergeant says to Corporal: "I didn't see you in our camouflage class"
CPL replies: Thank you sir!
Corporate Story
At a meeting, the Boss told a joke.
Everyone on the team laughed except o**....
The Boss asked him, 'Didn't you understand my joke?'
The guy replied, 'Oh I understood it, but I resigned this morning.'
A joke about eggs
An egg soldier is on a battlefield, trying to make contact with the egg commander.
"Sir, can you hear me?"
"Yes but there's a large amount of static on your end."
"Just as I thought."
"What do you mean, corporal?"
"Our communications have been scrambled."
A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.
On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?""No," replied the trainee."It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"The trainee shouts back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!""No," replied the CEO indignantly."Good!" replied the trainee, and slams down the phone.
This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.
This whole pandemic is a conspiracy.
The Altoids Corporation teamed up with the makers of Tic-Tacs and Listerene Breath Strips and made this virus in a lab in Wu-Tang so that all the rest of us would be forced to smell our own stank-a**... breath and buy millions of dollars worth of mints.
Illu-mint-ati Confirmed.
Cyberpunk 2077 has created a story about corporate interests crushing people under the weight of commodification and dehumanisation, with high tech stakes about a world full of technology gone awry.
The game has similar themes.
A corporal needed to use the pay phone but didn't have change.
He saw a private mopping the floor nearby and asked, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" The private replied, "Sure, hang on." The corporal gave him an icy stare and yelled, "That's no way to address your superior! Straighten up and let's try that again! Private, do you have change for a dollar?"
The private stood at attention and boomed, "NO SIR!"
Wembley Tickets- England v Scotland Friday 18th June 2021 Kick off 8pm
One of my best friends has two spare tickets in a corporate box for the England v Scotland game. They were £300 each but he didn't realise they are on the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding.
If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place!
It is at Manchester registry office at 2pm. The brides name is Nicola, she is 28, 5f 6 tall, a bit of a looker and a good cook.
A young soldier was making his first parachute jump.
The corporal explained the procedure "You count to ten and pull the first ripcord. If the c**... doesn't open, pull the second. That should do it. Then, after you land, there'll be a truck waiting to pick you up."
The soldier checked his gear, called out the customary "Geronimo! " and jumped out of the plane. He counted to ten and pulled the ripcord. The c**... failed to open. He pulled the second ripcord and the c**... still didn't open. As he plummeted downward, he said, "I'll bet that g**... truck won't be there either."
The Corporate Ladder
A recent study in USA have found an interesting relationship between a man social status and the sport he watches
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employee is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is American FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL
5. The sport of Choice for middle management is TENNIS
6. the sport of Choice for corporate Officers is GOLF
CONCLUSION: The Higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your b**... become
At a corporate party…
The director of HR stood up and said If anyone has any comments or anything they'd like to say please come up to the microphone
An employee stood up and walked over. He picked up the microphone and pointed it directly at the speakers. A loud obnoxious noise screeched out and filled the room. Everyone covered their ears as he held it there. He then turned it away and handed it back to the HR director. To which the HR director said…
Thank you for your feedback.
I know someone that was offered a position with the Outside Peanut Corporation…
Come to find out it was a shell company…
A husband visited marriage counselled
and said: "When we were first married, | would
come home from the office, my wife would bring
my slippers and our cute little dog would run
around barking.
Now after ten years it's different. | come home,
the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs
around barking."
Said the counsellor: "Why complain. You are still
getting the same service.
In the corporate world they call it,
*Job Rotation*
If the corporate building for a company is called a headquarters, what do you call the gym?
Bodybuilding.
Santa Claus, a blind guy, and an honest corporate executive approach a dollar on the sidewalk. Who picks it up first?
None of them, because the blind guy wouldn't see it, and the other two don't exist.
A recent study shows that the best place for corporations to do business in the US is St. Louis.
As they say, ..Missouri loves companies.
An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II
An SS man says to a Jew in a concentration camp: "You are to be killed today, but I will give you a chance. One of my eyes is a glass eye. If you can guess which one it is, I will give you your life."
The Jew looks at the SS man and says, "The left one, Herr Corporal."
"That is correct. How did you recognize it?"
"Because it looks so human."
General Frederick D. Grant said to his servant one morning
"James, I have left my mess boots out. I want them soled."
"Yes, sir, the servant answered."
The general dressed for dinner that night, said again: "I suppose, James, that you did as I told you about those boots."
"Yes, sir, said he, and this is all I could get for them, though the corporal who bought them said he would have given half a dollar if pay day hadn't been so far off."
