The Best 31 Corporate Jokes

Trading gold for a good consulting / corporate or office joke...

Guys, it's been a long day, I need a laugh and I've got three months of gold to give away. Help me out?

Long John Silver's is the perfect representation of corporate greed.

Nearly everything that company does is selfish.

How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder.

McLatvian Joke

Latvian man in country open McDonald's.
But worry for no potato for fries.
Corporate call him telling fries don't potate.
Man is relief but no customers.

If I work as a janitor at an office, does that mean that every time I change a lightbulb I climb the corporate ladder?

I have an irrational fear of large intricate corporate buildings.

You could say I have a complex complex complex.

When do women get to climb the corporate ladder?

When it's time to clean the glass ceiling.

Why do women die from suicide five times less than men?

Because they can't climb high enough on the corporate ladder.

Someone has been spraying graffiti of what appears to be corporate ledgers all around my neighborhood.

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls.

What do the United Street Dopeboyz of America and United Airlines have in common?

They both throw hooks when they "corporate thuggin"

What are the three branches of the government?

Military, Corporate, and Hollywood

Our corporate travel agency booked me a flight on United

I got reservations.

What hotel did Blockbuster rent for their corporate retreats?

Hotel Rewind-a.

What's the most dangerous thing in the corporate ocean?

The Loan Shark

I'm not sure I like Duluth Trading Company's corporate policies.

They have room to grow.

What do you call a ball gown is corporate logos on it

An address.

3 signs that the person is working in the corporate world

1. Stressed

2. Depressed

3. Still Well Dressed!!

Ajit Pai has resigned from the FCC to take a new role with a better monthly salary and a better corporate fit.

Medieval Minstrels were the first victims of EA's corporate greed

They could only access their instruments by opening Lute Boxes

Why are Pandas so good at Corporate finance?

Coz they are all about P and A

Corporate Story

At a meeting, the Boss told a joke. 
Everyone on the team laughed except one guy. 
The Boss asked him, 'Didn't you understand my joke?' 
The guy replied, 'Oh I understood it, but I resigned this morning.'

A friend has 2 tickets in a corporate box for the World cup final game Sun 15th July He paid £500 each including flights but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding! He is looking for someone to take his place

It's at Sheffield Town Hall at 4pm. Her name is Nicola -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook. Message me for more details.

I used to scoff at the people preparing for the zombie apocalypse, thinking they were irrational alarmists

but then I had an encounter with corporate management and I now fear it may be too late.

I have been climbing up the corporate ladder in my job at the bike factory.

I was just promoted to be the spokesperson.

Amazed by the stunning beauty of their new secretary, two corporate executives resolved to make her adjustment to her new firm their personal business...

It's up to us to teach her the difference between right and wrong, said the first executive. Agreed, exclaimed the second. You teach her what's right.

Years of working in the corporate, ruined my graffiti career.

This is all I wrote on a building today:

"Please do not erase."

A man joins a big corporate empire as a trainee.

On his very first day of work, he dials the pantry and shouts into the phone, "Get me a coffee, quickly!"The voice from the other side responded, "You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?""No," replied the trainee."It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"The trainee shouts back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?!""No," replied the CEO indignantly."Good!" replied the trainee, and slams down the phone.

Cyberpunk 2077 has created a story about corporate interests crushing people under the weight of commodification and dehumanisation, with high tech stakes about a world full of technology gone awry.

The game has similar themes.

Wembley Tickets- England v Scotland Friday 18th June 2021 Kick off 8pm

One of my best friends has two spare tickets in a corporate box for the England v Scotland game. They were £300 each but he didn't realise they are on the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding.

If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place!

It is at Manchester registry office at 2pm. The brides name is Nicola, she is 28, 5f 6 tall, a bit of a looker and a good cook.

The Corporate Ladder

A recent study in USA have found an interesting relationship between a man social status and the sport he watches

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employee is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is American FOOTBALL
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL
5. The sport of Choice for middle management is TENNIS
6. the sport of Choice for corporate Officers is GOLF

CONCLUSION: The Higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become

At a corporate party…

The director of HR stood up and said If anyone has any comments or anything they'd like to say please come up to the microphone

An employee stood up and walked over. He picked up the microphone and pointed it directly at the speakers. A loud obnoxious noise screeched out and filled the room. Everyone covered their ears as he held it there. He then turned it away and handed it back to the HR director. To which the HR director said…

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