The Best 36 Coroner Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Coroner jokes. There are some coroner autopsy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these coroner morgue puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Coroner Jokes and Puns

What did the WH's coroner say as he unbuckled his belt?

It's not right, but it's OK

A long day at the hospital

After a long day working at the hospital 3 doctors are walking home:

- "After seeing so many patients, it's really nice to see normal, healthy people" says the first doctor, a GP
- "Not only that, they are actually alive" answers the coroner
- "Who cares about all that! Just look at all those faces! Lovely, lovely human faces!" shouts the proctologist

Why can't female medical examiners have kids?

Because nobody puts baby in a coroner.
Hey, at least it was original, again I will see myself out.

Coroner joke, Why can't female medical examiners have kids?

Where do dead people buy their cigarettes?

At the coroner store.

Taking home work has never been more satisfying

I love being a coroner!


Why did the jealous coroner kill his girlfriend?

So he cadaver all to himself.

R.I.P.

Today a man died after jumping into a waste treatment facility.
The coroner ruled it a sewercide.

Coroner joke, R.I.P.

Did you hear about the coroner who always was early for his shift?

He could not wait to get to work and crack open a cold one.

Coroners and morticians must be extremely popular.

People are always dying to meet them.

Brainless Lawyers

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:

"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"

"No."

"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?"

"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."

Coroner's Report

Coroner: Report complete.

Police: What was the cause of death?

Coroner: The cause of death was that I sliced him open and performed an autopsy.

You can explore coroner homicide reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean coroner posterity dad jokes. There are also coroner puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The Police are looking into George Michaels' death.

When the press asked if an autopsy would be performed, the coroner was quoted as saying: "Well I guess it would be nice, if I could touch his body."

Who knew George Michael's "Last Christmas"...

was about the coroner?

Who do you call when a popcorn gets murdered?

The pop coroner

What did the lead coroner do when he and the other coroners were asked to perform an autopsy?

He cracked open a cold one with the boys.

My best friend died from inhaling too much bug spray.

The coroner said he offed himself.

Coroner joke, My best friend died from inhaling too much bug spray.

They say that Princess Diana gave her heart to the people.

They were wrong, the coroner found it in the glove compartment

What's the best part of dating a coroner?

I don't have to decide between a warm body or the smell of corpse.

Bet the coroner never thought he would be pulling the Cranberry out of the fridge this soon after Christmas.


What did the coroner rule as the cause of death for the guy who committed suicide by running his truck in a closed garage?

Exhaustion

Michael Stipe has died but so far only two people know.

That's me n' the coroner.

My necrophiliac friend finally achieved his boyhood ambition.

After years of non-stop studying, practice, and dedication, he finally became coroner.

Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.

When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.

My female colleague asked me to show her the abs, but I obviously refused.

My body, my rules. Being a coroner really sucks sometimes.

Have you heard Michael Stipe has died?

No? That's unsurprising seeing only two people know. That's me 'n the coroner

A perk of a career at the morgue is you always get the coroner office.

The only downside is the stiff competition.

I believe the victim was in love with his killer, said the coroner

He had butterflies in his stomach.

What is the similarity between a coroner and an alcoholic?

They both start the day with a cold one from the case...

Coroner: I have to say that the victim died at precisely 11 45 pm.

Detective: Are you positive?

Coroner: Its difficult with so many dead bodies lying around, but I'm hanging in there.

"I put that corpse in a body bag!"

– a coroner who thinks he did a really good job

What do you call a Coronavirus expert?

A coroner.

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...

"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.

"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

"Ok, so what about the third body?"

"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is *he* smiling then?"

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

Death

Is always right around the coroner!

Three bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...

"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, who had a heart attack while making love to his mistress, hence the smile." says the coroner.

Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won the lottery and spent all his money on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Sean, the Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is *he* smiling then?"

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

*My grandfather told me this one as a kid so I hope you enjoyed!*

Coroner: "i came across my exe wife at the morgue last night."

Doctor: "was it hard to take?"

Coroner: "not really, I'm used to her ignoring me."

My wife was inhaling popcorn and nearly choked to death on an un-popped kernel.

I almost had to call the popcoroner.

(Real life: my wife really was eating popcorn with no breathing in between and I said maybe slow down so you don't choke on that. I don't want to have to call the pop coroner , and she abruptly started laughing and, I swear, choked on some (non-fatal). So I decided to present my ad-lib here, as a joke. At least I (and you) can be sure it's no repost!)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the coroner trauma jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working coroner magistrate piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes