Coronavirus Jokes

Chuck Norris coronavirus joke

Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.

I asked my doctor when we could anticipate an end to the coronavirus epidemic

He said I don't know. I'm not really into politics.

A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.

2 days later he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!

Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.

Coronavirus ruining your plans for 2020? Save them for 2022!

Cause 2022 is 2020 too.

COVID 19 is like Pasta

Asians invented it, Italians spread it.

Eminem Coronavirus joke

Apparently, Eminem is rumored to be diagnosed with Coronavirus

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with vomit on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti

John Travolta Coronavirus joke

As see on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.

Boris Johnson coronavirus joke

For those sending around vile jokes about the Prime Minister in ICU... please remember the words of The Queen last night:

I hope in the years to come everyone will be able to take pride in how they responded to this challenge. Show some class.

Coughy Filter Joke

The barista at Starbucks was wearing a face mask.

Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?

She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter.

Ellen jail joke

Ellen DeGeneres coronavirus jail joke - Today, I am filming this in my living room because all the other rooms in my house are filled with toilet paper !

One thing that I've learned from being in quarantine is that people this is like being in jail, is what it is !

It's mostly because I've been wearing the same clothes for 10 days and everyone in here is gay.

PresidentTrump is completely right about coronavirus treatment.

If you eat chloroquine phosphate, drink a pint of Chlorox, shoot-up rubbing alcohol, shove a flashlight up your ass, and crash on a tanning bed, you will never get Covid-19.

What is similar about coronavirus and sex?

Most Redditors lack the social skills to get either

BC now stands for "Before Coronavirus"

and AD is now "After Distancing"

>!Welcome to the new dark ages!<

What's the difference between CoVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet?

One's a Coronavirus, the other is a Verona Crisis.

which country was the first to get coronavirus?

China, they got it right off the bat.

India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.

Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.

The spread of coronavirus within a country depends on two factors:

1) How dense the country's population is
2) How dense the country's population is

Next year we'll be laughing about the great Coronavirus fears of today

\-Not every one of us, of course...

I was in the chemist...

and I said to the assistant, "What gets rid of coronavirus?"

She said, "Ammonia cleaner."

I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here!"

Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus?

Because he was a Quran Teen.

Coronavirus has been copying the Black Death

Plaguearism

Dele Alli joke

This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me.

Ross Noble Spice girl joke

Why Victoria is the Posh Spice of Australia?

I don't know if you’re across this, but currently the country’s going through what scientists call the Spice Girls paradigm - Said Ross Noble. - Everyone's trying really hard, but Victoria's ruining it.

60+ days off work, gas prices at an all time low, $1200... I know who I'm voting for...

Coronavirus for president!

Chuck Norris Covid 19 joke

Chuck Norris drinks coronavirus for breakfast.

I literally just wrote a song about the Coronavirus, but I will never let anyone hear it.

It's too catchy. It'll be with you for weeks.

Since I was the only one in my family to get the coronavirus, I had to tell them

"Don't worry, I got you covid."

WHO let the dogs out joke.

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

Yo mama is like the coronavirus

She keeps trying to spread, but nobody wants her.

All countries eventually got coronavirus eventually

China just got it right off the bat.

This Corona virus is a blessing.

My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened in my life.

What would be the scariest coronavirus costume?

One without a mask

β€ͺThis is the first year I'm not going to Italy because of the coronavirus. ‬ β€ͺ

Normally I don't go because I'm poor‬

Trump wasn't lying about the coronavirus disappearing in April

He simply forgot to say 2021.

Coronavirus has finally made me less racist

Now I also cross the street when a white person approaches me on the sidewalk

We have collected gags that can be used as Coronavirus pranks to have fun with. If you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Coronavirus, here are one liners and funny Coronavirus pick up lines.

Joko Jokes