Coronavirus Jokes
140 coronavirus jokes and hilarious coronavirus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about coronavirus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Coronavirus Short Jokes
Short coronavirus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The coronavirus humour may include short jokes also.
- Chuck Norris coronavirus joke Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris. - I asked my doctor when we could anticipate an end to the coronavirus epidemic He said I don't know. I'm not really into politics.
- Can't believe trump tested positive for covid-19 when all he had to do was to not get tested.
>!Man. Woman. TV. Coronavirus.!< - Coughy Filter Joke The barista at starbucks was wearing a face mask.
Me: Why are you wearing a surgical mask?
She said: I'm not, it's a coughy filter. - If Biden is elected, I stay in the country If Trump is reelected, I stay in the country.
This is not a political post, I just can't leave because coronavirus. - I went to the pharmacy yesterday and asked the assistant "What kills coronavirus"? She replied "Ammonia cleaner"
I said "Sorry, I thought you worked here" - BC now stands for "Before Coronavirus" and AD is now "After Distancing"
>!Welcome to the new dark ages!< - This is the first year that we didn't go to Hawaii because of coronavirus... Every other year we don't go because we can't afford it.
- watching the US government deal with the Coronavirus is like watching the Ministry of Magic deal with Voldemort's return. change my mind.
- Why did everyone have Covid-19 at the kpop concert? Because a symptom of Coronavirus is lack of taste.
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Coronavirus One Liners
Which coronavirus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with coronavirus? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Coronavirus ruining your plan for 2020? Save them for 2022! Cause 2022 is 2020 too.
- Gas prices are so high... That even the coronavirus stopped traveling..
- COVID 19 is like Pasta Asians invented it, Italians spread it.
- All countries eventually got Coronavirus... But China got it right off the bat
- which country was the first to get coronavirus? China, they got it right off the bat.
- If the Coronavirus really isn't about a beer... Then why do I keep seeing cases of it?
- Why didn't the Muslim youth get the coronavirus? Because he was a Quran Teen.
- Coronavirus has been copying the Black Death Plaguearism
- I made an coronavirus joke while eating turkey. It was tasteless.
- Chuck Norris diagnosed with Covid-19 Coronavirus now in quarantine for 14 days
- Dele Alli joke This virus gunna have to be quicker than that to catch me.
- If coronavirus isn't about beer... why do I keep seeing cases of it?
- You think the Omicron variant is bad? Because the next one will be 3.14 times worse.
- I like my girls how I like my Covid. 19 and easily spread.
- Yo mama is like the coronavirus She keeps trying to spread, but nobody wants her.
Coronavirus Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about coronavirus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make coronavirus pranks.
When do the Coronavirus symptoms begin to show up?
Right off the bat.
Eminem Coronavirus joke
Apparently, Eminem is rumored to be diagnosed with Coronavirus
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with v**... on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti
John Travolta Coronavirus joke
As see on the CNN John Travolta was hospitalised for a suspected Coronavirus. But doctors soon realised that it was only a Saturday Night Fever and he will be Staying Alive.
China finally got what they want !
They managed to coronise the world.
This Corona virus is a blessing.
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened in my life.
Rudy Gobert jokes about Coronavirus
Rudy Gobert tested positive for coronavirus. This brought NBA to a halt. On Monday, he had joked about the virus by touching microphones.
The coronavirus is a lot like a k**... s**... life.
Don't mind having it, but I'm scared that my parents have it too.
WHO let the dogs out joke.
The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.
Which composer got the coronavirus?
DryCoughsky
Ivor Chestikov joke
The first case for COVID-19 has been confirmed in Russia.
The patients name is Ivor Chestikov.
Chuck Norris corona joke
Chuck Norris tested positive for coronavirus. They had to quarantine the virus.
Boris Johnson coronavirus joke
For those sending around vile jokes about the Prime Minister in ICU... please remember the words of The Queen last night:
I hope in the years to come everyone will be able to take pride in how they responded to this challenge. Show some class.
Ellen jail joke
Ellen DeGeneres coronavirus jail joke - Today, I am filming this in my living room because all the other rooms in my house are filled with toilet paper !
One thing that I've learned from being in quarantine is that people this is like being in jail, is what it is !
It's mostly because I've been wearing the same clothes for 10 days and everyone in here is gay.
Trump lysol joke
President Trump is completely right about coronavirus treatment.
If you eat chloroquine phosphate, drink a pint of Chlorox, shoot-up rubbing alcohol, shove a flashlight up your a**..., and c**... on a tanning bed, you will never get Covid-19
Chuck Norris Covid 19 joke
Chuck Norris drinks coronavirus for breakfast.
Why did the Coronavirus cross the road?
Because everyone is an idiot
What's the difference between CoVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet?
One's a Coronavirus, the other is a Verona Crisis.
Trump wasn't lying about the coronavirus disappearing in April
He simply forgot to say 2021.
What is similar about coronavirus and s**...?
Most Redditors lack the social skills to get either
Coronavirus is ruining my plans for 2020. But....
I have saved them for 2022, because 2022 is 2020 too.
So a senile old man, an alleged r**..., and a neoliberal ghoul walk into a bar.
The bartender says "im sorry Mr. Biden, we are closed due to the coronavirus"
Men are more susceptible to the covid19 coronavirus
Men could be more susceptible to Covid-19 because testicular tissue generates proteins the virus likes to latch onto.
It's got you by the b**....
I literally just wrote a song about the Coronavirus, but I will never let anyone hear it.
It's too catchy. It'll be with you for weeks.
PresidentTrump is completely right about coronavirus treatment.
If you eat chloroquine phosphate, drink a pint of Chlorox, shoot-up rubbing alcohol, shove a flashlight up your a**..., and c**... on a tanning bed, you will never get Covid-19.
It is being reported that black and ethnic minority groups are at higher risk to Coronavirus
As if this virus wasn't bad enough, it turns out it is racist too.
Contradicting Coronavirus advice!
First, we hear alcohol may prevent the virus... now research suggests the opposite. Then we're told heat and humidity has no effect, but wait... direct sunlight might quickly kill the virus. So, if you come across some elderly bloke, standing in the yard, intoxicated and n**..., leave me alone... I'm conducting important medical research.
Chuck Norris came into contact with coronavirus
Coronavirus is now in 2 week quarantine
All countries eventually got coronavirus eventually
China just got it right off the bat.
Coronavirus could keep us in lockdown for years
Get ready for the 'Boring Twenties'.
Whoa! China is fudging their coronavirus numbers?
Whoa! China is fudging their coronavirus numbers? WHO knew!
As the United States reopens, the federal government has issued a rapid coronavirus test that's just 25 cents.
Heads is positive. Tails is negative.
The spread of coronavirus depends on two things:
1. How dense the population is.
2. How dense the population is.
60+ days off work, gas prices at an all time low, $1200... I know who I'm voting for...
Coronavirus for president!
What disease goes best with the coronavirus?
Lyme disease
India has decided to boycott Chinese products on all fronts to protest the latter's stand on disputed territories and their failure to inform India on the Coronavirus.
Meanwhile, Chinese textile mills are rolling out an all-new clothing line: "Boycott China" and are anticipating great demand from India.
Next year we'll be laughing about the great Coronavirus fears of today
\-Not every one of us, of course...
This is the first year I'm not going to Italy because of the coronavirus.
Normally I don't go because I'm poor
Since I was the only one in my family to get the coronavirus, I had to tell them
"Don't worry, I got you covid."
What does Coronavirus and Cops have in common?
They both take your breath away.
Pence is right that there won't be a second wave of Coronavirus.
We'd have to stop the first wave for that to happen
Coronavirus has finally made me less racist
Now I also cross the street when a white person approaches me on the sidewalk
If you could end coronavirus by sacrificing one genre of music, then which one would it be and..
Why K-pop?
What would be the scariest coronavirus costume?
One without a mask
What should Quentin Tarantino do if he's tested positive for coronavirus?
Tent-in Quarantino.
A man takes his wife to get tested for Coronavirus.
2 days later he gets a call from the lab.
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you sir that your wife's test results have been mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.
Man: So what am I supposed to do now?!
Doctor: I'd recommend taking her for a long walk and leaving her, if she finds her way back home, don't open the door.
I was in the chemist...
and I said to the assistant, "What gets rid of coronavirus?"
She said, "Ammonia cleaner."
I said, "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here!"
The spread of coronavirus within a country depends on two factors:
1) How dense the country's population is
2) How dense the country's population is
Lines for urinals have become an an increasing problem in containing the coronavirus.
So mind your pees in queues.
How crazy is the coronavirus pandemic?
Batshit crazy.
Ross Noble Spice girl joke
Why Victoria is the Posh Spice of Australia?
I don't know if you’re across this, but currently the country’s going through what scientists call the Spice Girls paradigm - Said Ross Noble. - Everyone's trying really hard, but Victoria's ruining it.
The growth of coronavirus in a given area is dependent on 2 primary factors:
1. How dense the population is
2. How dense the population is
The moment we find out dogs really could sniff out coronavirus infections...
We'd ask WHO, let the dogs out! WHO! WHO!
Trump was rushed to the hospital after learning that 3 Brazilians died from the Coronavirus
Lying in the hospital bed his face still white with shock, he finally got the courage to ask shakily and in a quiet voice, How many people is a brazillion?"
Why can't ants get coronavirus
Because they have little anty-bodies
Russia claims to have found a coronavirus vaccine...
I'm not putin that in my body!
What can the Coronavirus do that the US government can't?
Stop school shootings.
A couple of good covid jokes I've heard
1. I dont know anything about Coronavirus other than if you have it; you get an undeniable urge to go the airport.
2. By the point most of the world has been exposed to covid 19, but the people in Wuhan got it right of the bat.
3. You know why I think coronavirus wont last for more than a year.
WHY?
coz it's made in China.
4. I dont think anyone saw a worldwide pandemic happening this year. I guess most people don't have 2020 vision.
I wish the Coronavirus started in Las Vegas
because what happens in vegas, stays in Vegas.
It's going to be dangerous to trick-or-treat this Halloween due to the coronavirus pandemic.
The only way you're getting candy from a stranger this year is by putting on a mask and going to the grocery store.
They say that coronavirus kills you...
But we polled 25,000 Americans and not a single one had died! Who needs masks?
Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.
Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or j**.... Without batting an eye she responded "you better j**..., I have a terrible headache."
Donald Trump and his wife Melania have tested positive for coronavirus.
I didn't realise they were that close!
President Trump has reportedly contracted coronavirus
Finally, something positive about Trump.
They actually didn't test Trump for Coronavirus...
It was his lack of taste that gave it away.