Coronation Jokes
87 coronation jokes and hilarious coronation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about coronation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Coronation Short Jokes
Short coronation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The coronation humour may include short jokes also.
- Did you hear about the prince who caught Covid from his father? He was next in line to be Coronated.
- Did you hear about the coroner who always was early for his shift? He could not wait to get to work and crack open a cold one.
- "God Save the Queen" seems an ill-fitting anthem following the coronation of King Charles III The obvious choice for the replacement is the "Charles in Charge" theme song.
- Why can't female medical examiners have kids? Because nobody puts baby in a coroner.
Hey, at least it was original, again I will see myself out. - Coroner: "i came across my exe wife at the morgue last night." Doctor: "was it hard to take?"
Coroner: "not really, I'm used to her ignoring me." - The coroner has released Norm Macdonald's official cause of death you guessed it, Frank Stallone
- It wasn't easy for a group of hobbits to see their dead friend at the coroner's office. Because one does not simply walk in the morgue door.
- Coroner's Report Coroner: Report complete.
Police: What was the cause of death?
Coroner: The cause of death was that I sliced him open and performed an autopsy. - Some people say that Coroners don't talk much. I've always found them excellent at getting people to open up.
- R.I.P. Today a man died after jumping into a waste treatment facility.
The coroner ruled it a sewercide.
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Coronation One Liners
Which coronation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with coronation? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Where do dead people buy their cigarettes? At the coroner store.
- King Charles's coronation date has been revealed. It's Camilla.
- Michael Stipe has died but so far only two people know. That's me n' the coroner.
- My best friend died from inhaling too much bug spray. The coroner said he offed himself.
- Where do you buy embalming fluid? At the coroner store.
- Who knew George Michael's "Last Christmas"... was about the coroner?
- What do you call it when someone coughs or sneezes in 2020? A coronal mass ejection
- Can you tell me where I can find dead bodies? Why yes, they're right around the coroner…
- What do you call a Coronavirus expert? A coroner.
- What do you call a COVID19 + person's sneeze? Coronal Mass Ejection! ^Astr^ono^my
- Death Is always right around the coroner!
- Who do you call when a popcorn gets murdered? The pop coroner
- Coroners and morticians must be extremely popular. People are always dying to meet them.
- "I put that corpse in a body bag!" – a coroner who thinks he did a really good job
- Why did the jealous coroner kill his girlfriend? So he cadaver all to himself.
Coronation Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about coronation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make coronation pranks.
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the Coroner.
"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "this is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his picture taken.
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob.
"Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work."
"Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday."
So I call him on his cell.
"What gives, bro,?" I ask.
"h**...," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes."
I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer."
"Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.
What did the WH's coroner say as he unbuckled his belt?
It's not right, but it's OK
A mortician was working late one night...
A mortician was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent off to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Mr. Sam, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Sam had the longest private part he had ever seen!
I'm sorry Mr. Sam, said the mortician, but I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge private part like this. It has to be saved for posterity.
And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's distinguishing member. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife.
I have something to show you that you won't believe, he said, and opened his briefcase.
Oh, my God! she screamed, Sam is dead!
Reindeer joke!
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer passed away today at the age of 57. He was struck by a 747 jet liner and a flock of seagulls as he flew over Barcelona. Coroners say that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
A long day at the hospital
After a long day working at the hospital 3 doctors are walking home:
- "After seeing so many patients, it's really nice to see normal, healthy people" says the first doctor, a GP
- "Not only that, they are actually alive" answers the coroner
- "Who cares about all that! Just look at all those faces! Lovely, lovely human faces!" shouts the proctologist
A bird gets hit and killed by a baseball
The umpire and coroner agreed to call it foul play.
Taking home work has never been more satisfying
I love being a coroner!
What is a Coronation Street resident's least favourite football team?
Tramnear Rovers
What is a Coronal Mass Ejection?
I might be wrong here, but I think it's when you throw up after drinking too much Mexican beer.
David Bowie was found in a three foot coffin.
The coroner said it was a space oddity.
Who should a man call if his dishwasher is broken?
A coroner.
Brainless Lawyers
In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"
"No."
"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?"
"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."
The Police are looking into George Michaels' death.
When the press asked if an autopsy would be performed, the coroner was quoted as saying: "Well I guess it would be nice, if I could touch his body."
My friend overdosed on Tofu
The coroner called it a Soysoning
A coroner's job is easy
Every death is 'natural causes'. "He was stabbed 15 times in the neck so, naturally, he died."
When the coroner's report came back, it stated my nine month old son had died due to neglect…
Nothing to do with me though, I was at the bar at the time…
Why are squares so sad?
Because, they have four coroners.
A man gets married and wants to have children
A man gets married and wants to have children. His wife works hard at her job performing autopsies, and they save up enough money to where the husband starts talking seriously about having a child. She is very stand-offish about it, but he continues to bring it up repeatedly. One day, after picking her up from her job at the morgue, he confronts her, asking "Why don't you want to have children?" Angrily, she turns to him and tells him "Because nobody puts a baby in a coroner."
What did the lead coroner do when he and the other coroners were asked to perform an autopsy?
He cracked open a cold one with the boys.
An old couple is travelling in Israel
The wife incessantly nags her husband through out the trip, until unfortunately she has a heart attack and passes. The coroner tells the husband, "it will cost you $500 to bury her here, or $5000 to take her body back to America." The husband tells the coroner that he will take her body back to America. The coroner, surprised, asks "but sir, why pay so much money when you can have just as beautiful f**... here for so much cheaper??" The man replies, "I heard that 2000 years ago some guy came back alive after being dead for 3 days around here, I don't want to take that chance with her."
When Queen Elizabeth dies there will be two days of mourning.
One for the f**... and one for the coronation.
They say that Princess Diana gave her heart to the people.
They were wrong, the coroner found it in the glove compartment
Morgue m**... Caught
The infamous Morgue m**... was finally apprehended for his crimes of breaking into morgues and brutally slitting the throats of unsuspecting employees.
It turns out that it really never pays to cut coroners.
Coroners have to go to the gym often
You know, to work on their deadlift.
What's the best part of dating a coroner?
I don't have to decide between a warm body or the smell of corpse.
Bet the coroner never thought he would be pulling the Cranberry out of the fridge this soon after Christmas.
What did the coroner rule as the cause of death for the guy who committed s**... by running his truck in a closed garage?
Exhaustion
My necrophiliac friend finally achieved his boyhood ambition.
After years of non-stop studying, practice, and dedication, he finally became coroner.
What do you call an Asian coroner?
A colonel
Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.
When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.
My female colleague asked me to show her the abs, but I obviously refused.
My body, my rules. Being a coroner really s**... sometimes.
Have you heard Michael Stipe has died?
No? That's unsurprising seeing only two people know. That's me 'n the coroner
A perk of a career at the morgue is you always get the coroner office.
The only downside is the stiff competition.
I believe the victim was in love with his killer, said the coroner
He had butterflies in his stomach.
What is the similarity between a coroner and an alcoholic?
They both start the day with a cold one from the case...
What happens when you drink too much Corona?
A Coronal mass ejection.
Coroner: I have to say that the victim died at precisely 11 45 pm.
Detective: Are you positive?
Coroner: Its difficult with so many dead bodies lying around, but I'm hanging in there.
Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face. The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, 60, who died of heart failure while making love to his mistress, hence the enormous smile." says the coroner.
"Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won a thousand dollars in the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ok, so what about the third body?"
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the r**... from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
Trump stated that all Americans will live like royalty by the end of his term
More than 2 million people have been coronated already.
Three bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.
The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened...
"Well, the first body is a Frenchman, who had a heart attack while making love to his mistress, hence the smile." says the coroner.
Second body's a Scotsman, 25, won the lottery and spent all his money on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
"Ah!" says the coroner. "This is the most unusual one. Sean, the Irishman, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is *he* smiling then?"
"He thought he was having his picture taken."
*My grandfather told me this one as a kid so I hope you enjoyed!*
My wife was inhaling popcorn and nearly choked to death on an un-popped kernel.
I almost had to call the popcoroner.
(Real life: my wife really was eating popcorn with no breathing in between and I said maybe slow down so you don't choke on that. I don't want to have to call the pop coroner , and she abruptly started laughing and, I swear, choked on some (non-fatal). So I decided to present my ad-lib here, as a joke. At least I (and you) can be sure it's no repost!)
Defense!
In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere!
Cross-examination of a coroner
"Did you check the victim's pulse?"
"No, I did not."
"Did you check if the victim's breathing had stopped?"
"No, I did not."
"Did you check for any signs of brainwave activity?"
"No, I did not."
"Then how do you even know the victim is dead?"
"Well, his brain is in a jar on my desk right now, but for all I know he might be out practicing law somewhere."
How did the f**... home make so much money?
They had the market coronered
One day Ole's wife Lena died.
When Ole called the coroner he told them in a heavy norwegian accent that they lived on eucalyptus street.
The operator (unable to understand) asked if he could spell it.
Ole replied. "Ill just drag her over to "Oak"