Corny Jokes

What are some Corny jokes?

The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.

Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.

Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

Suicide gone wrong [CORNY]

-Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers.
-Seriously? And what happened?
-After the first two, I felt much better.

What's green and flies over Germany ?

Snazis.


This insanely corny joke brought to you by my Dad, circa 1990.
May he rest in peace!

(Corny)-Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard?

Cuz everyone was dying to get in.

I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here with a translation. Thanks!

My dad called in and told this joke to win a corny joke contest in the 70's

What has two knees and swims in the ocean?

A Two-knee fish!.....

a little corny but here it goes...what can u make with onions and baked beans?

tear gas

It's kinda corny...

What did baby corn say to momma corn?


"Where's pop corn?"

What kind of fish would you want to go to bed with?

A cuddlefish! (corny I know)

Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Diane Perish

*How to Get Rich* by Robin A. Bank

*I'm So Greedy* by Jenna Russ

*How to Drive a Manual Transmission* by Otto Matic

*How to be a Great Pilot* by Mae Day

*Where to Find Wildebeests* By Sara N. Getti

*Raising Kids* by Bill E. Goat

*Warriors of Feudal Japan* by Sam A. Rye

*Woodwind Instruments* by Clara Net

*Tragedy at the Grand Canyon* by Eileen Dover

*The Human Brain* by Sir E. Brum and Sara Bellum

*Deep in Debt* by Owen A. Lott

*The World is a Big Place* by Mike Robe

*Confessions of a Mental Patient* by Justin Sane

Old corny joke from my childhood.

Once upon a time there were three brothers.

There names were Shadhap, Traboule and Mannars.

One day Traboule was lost so the two other brothers went to the police.

Then Mannars had to go to the washroom and told his brother to talk to the policeman.

The policeman asked, "What is your name?"

"Shadhap." the remaining brother answered.

The policeman was shocked and replied, "My word! That is quite rude! I will ask again, what is your name?"

"Shadhap!" he replied again.

"Look here son, are you looking for trouble?"

"Oh my gosh yes! How did you know?"

The policeman now furious, "Where are your manners?"

"In the toilet sir!"

~~And the policeman fainted~~

And the cop shot him.

(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

Aerial

Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.


Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.


Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!


Q: Can February March?

A: No, but April May.


Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?

A: Homiecide


"Fish tanks are stupid!"

"Why?"

"Fish don't even have any militaries!"

Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

*Because it had no monastery value.*

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

What do you call a Ghost without any Boo's?

SOBER!

Note: (am Dad) I told this joke to my kids at Olive Garden last night, and an old lady made sure to let me know how corny it was

Why didn't the two slices of bread talk?

Because there was beef between them!


> I was arguing with my girlfriend about what constitutes a sandwich. One thing lead to another and this corny joke was born. It's probably been said before. Enjoy!

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes.
But opticians like them *cornea*.

Ice, Ice baby!

In the 90s it was a corny rap song
Now it's 3 people at a detention center

What did the DJ say to the farmer?

Lettuce, turnip, the beet.

I know, it was corny.

What did the baby corn say to its mother?

Where's popcorn?

Was that too corny for you?

Have you heard the one about the grain farmer?

It was corny.

did you hear about the farmer who was also a comedian

I heard all his jokes were corny

I was going to tell a cereal joke at my first stand-up gig

But it was too corny, so I flaked.

Why can't you make jokes about maizes?

They'll always be corny

Why did the pun taste good?

Because it was corny.

A joke about ethanol

nvm... too corny.

Oh, but I do have a ~~construction joke~~ - eh, actually I'm still working on it.

;D

Wanna know what's really corny?

A field of corn.

(Corny) Why could nobody understand the unemployed man?

He made no cents.

Why can't anxious people walk on tight ropes?

Because they're too high-strung.

Corny I know, but I wrote it myself and had to put it out there.

What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty

(Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt)


100% Guraneed Originality
You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

So my bf and I walk into a bar. We notice this guy kept hitting on the female bartender by telling her corny jokes as she fake chuckles.

One joke involved him asking her why no one trusted atoms. (Because they make up everything). My bf retaliates with his own joke... 'What do female bartenders like most about their male Patrons?.... Just the tip' 😎

What's a pirates favorite letter?

You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!'


Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes

Dad Jokes

Dad jokes aren't an affliction that happens to dads, they're a way of life. No one should ever be ashamed of #dadjokes. Instead, if you are a father, you should be worried if you don't know enough good dad jokes.

You know that old saying, Where there's a will there's a way? That's a pretty good one. Another good saying? A corny joke doesn't have to have any kernels in it. Yeah, that's not a real saying. But it feels like it, right? That's the beauty of #dadjoke β€”Β that wordplay makesΒ you self-satisfied and your kids want to disappear under the dinner table. It's one of theΒ perks that comes with a lifetime membership to the dad club, so make sure you have a good groaner for every occasion.

I was thinking of making puns about grain...

But most people can *barley* stand it.



Yes, I know. That was pretty *corny*. You're probably thinking, "*Rye* did you do this?" I'm probably going too *farro* with this. I'm sorry

What did baby corn say to mummy corn?

Where's popcorn?

.....Sorry.....I know this joke is corny.....

[Joke Requests] Im going as santa to a christmas party tonight and I need some good one-liners and jokes!

Im not looking for long winded jokes that have a punch line, more just quick witted (Some corny, some not) jokes to say. Somewhat along the lines of "can santa get some ho ho hos?" or stuff like that.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

Lol, sorry if it's corny. Pizza hut guy came and my delivery request was to tell a joke. Shout out to delivery dude!

Get ready for a corny joke!

***What is Mr. Corn's philosophy on life?***

Life is a maze.

Why do tortillas get such a bad wrap?

Because they are so corny.

[Corny] What does a highlighter say when it answers the phone?

Yello?

While were at it, this is the joke I made up when I was 9

A football team is eating in the cafeteria and they're all waiting in line. Sean plays safety on the football team, and all of the sudden, he starts to cut the line!

Everybody is upset: "Why do you get to go ahead?" They asked.

Sean replied: "Safety First!"



Corny I know, but I was convinced I would be a comedian

Did I tell you the one about the maize?

Nevermind, it's too corny.

Jokes i need your help

I'm on a road trip with a co-worker who hates corny, punny, cheesy and one liner type jokes. I love telling him those sorts of jokes trying to get him to laugh.

I had an idea. If you fine people hit me with some of your favorites, I'll spend the next two days telling him jokes and tell you which ones made him laugh. Please? It would make me laugh just trying.

What do you say after telling a really bad eye joke?

Corny uh?

What do you call a fox hole full of stoned soldiers?

A Pot Hole

yes I know it's a head slapper it's so corny!

A corny joke.

How did the Scarecrow become a. neurosurgeon so fast? It's because he was amazing in his field.

What should I buy for dinner?

I see frozen peas are cool this time of year.


..you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke.

How do cows pay for things?

With MOO-Lah

(if too corny just shiv me fam)

Why did the mature guy enjoy the painfully corny joke?

Because he was a groan man.

Have you guys heard the joke about the airplane?

I'd tell it, but it'd go over your heads....
CORNY JOKES THREAD!
OP will deliver knee slappers and humdingers!

Two corny jokes

Why did the farmer standing in the field call 911?

He thought he was being stalked.


Why did the corn go to the doctor?

It had an ear infection.

Warning... Corny level is over 9000... What do you call a billionaire fish?

A gillionaire

Corny Japanese Cartoons

Ani-maize

...I'll leave now.

Corny Jokes

What kind of bees produce milk?

--Boobies

Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?

-- fo drizzle

What's black and rhymes with snoop?

--Dr. Dre

Why don't you play poker in the jungle?

-- Too many cheetahs

What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she have him a sweater for Xmas??

-- Gh, Gh, Ghee, U Knit..

What was Paul McCartney's response to people asking why his music is so corny?

"Maybe I'm a maize"

Wanna hear a really corny joke?

What did one corn say to the other corn?

Lend me your ear.

I was gonna make a vegetable pun

But i thought it'd be too corny

I've always been corny...

When I was born, there were three storks. One to deliver me and two to fend off the crows.

How to make Corny jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Corny to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Corny? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Corny pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes