corny Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious corny puns

The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.

Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.

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Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

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Suicide gone wrong [CORNY]

-Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers.
-Seriously? And what happened?
-After the first two, I felt much better.

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What's green and flies over Germany ?

Snazis.


This insanely corny joke brought to you by my Dad, circa 1990.
May he rest in peace!

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(Corny)-Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard?

Cuz everyone was dying to get in.

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I tried to tell my son the joke about the donkey eating corn.

He said he didn't want to hear another corny ass joke out of me.

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I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here with a translation. Thanks!

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My dad called in and told this joke to win a corny joke contest in the 70's

What has two knees and swims in the ocean?

A Two-knee fish!.....

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It's kinda corny...

What did baby corn say to momma corn?


"Where's pop corn?"

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a little corny but here it goes...what can u make with onions and baked beans?

tear gas

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What kind of fish would you want to go to bed with?

A cuddlefish! (corny I know)

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Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Diane Perish

*How to Get Rich* by Robin A. Bank

*I'm So Greedy* by Jenna Russ

*How to Drive a Manual Transmission* by Otto Matic

*How to be a Great Pilot* by Mae Day

*Where to Find Wildebeests* By Sara N. Getti

*Raising Kids* by Bill E. Goat

*Warriors of Feudal Japan* by Sam A. Rye

*Woodwind Instruments* by Clara Net

*Tragedy at the Grand Canyon* by Eileen Dover

*The Human Brain* by Sir E. Brum and Sara Bellum

*Deep in Debt* by Owen A. Lott

*The World is a Big Place* by Mike Robe

*Confessions of a Mental Patient* by Justin Sane

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Old corny joke from my childhood.

Once upon a time there were three brothers.

There names were Shadhap, Traboule and Mannars.

One day Traboule was lost so the two other brothers went to the police.

Then Mannars had to go to the washroom and told his brother to talk to the policeman.

The policeman asked, "What is your name?"

"Shadhap." the remaining brother answered.

The policeman was shocked and replied, "My word! That is quite rude! I will ask again, what is your name?"

"Shadhap!" he replied again.

"Look here son, are you looking for trouble?"

"Oh my gosh yes! How did you know?"

The policeman now furious, "Where are your manners?"

"In the toilet sir!"

~~And the policeman fainted~~

And the cop shot him.

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(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

Aerial

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Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.


Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.


Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!


Q: Can February March?

A: No, but April May.


Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?

A: Homiecide


"Fish tanks are stupid!"

"Why?"

"Fish don't even have any militaries!"

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Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

*Because it had no monastery value.*

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

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What did the cell say when another cell stepped on his feet?

"Ouch! Mitosis!"

I'm so sorry you read this corny ass joke.

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What do you call a Ghost without any Boo's?

SOBER!

Note: (am Dad) I told this joke to my kids at Olive Garden last night, and an old lady made sure to let me know how corny it was

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Why didn't the two slices of bread talk?

Because there was beef between them!


> I was arguing with my girlfriend about what constitutes a sandwich. One thing lead to another and this corny joke was born. It's probably been said before. Enjoy!

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Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes.
But opticians like them *cornea*.

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What's the only thing worse than a poop joke?

A corny poop joke. You can really visualize it.

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What did the DJ say to the farmer?

Lettuce, turnip, the beet.

I know, it was corny.

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What did the baby corn say to its mother?

Where's popcorn?

Was that too corny for you?

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did you hear about the farmer who was also a comedian

I heard all his jokes were corny

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Have you heard the one about the grain farmer?

It was corny.

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I was going to tell a cereal joke at my first stand-up gig

But it was too corny, so I flaked.

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A joke about ethanol

nvm... too corny.

Oh, but I do have a ~~construction joke~~ - eh, actually I'm still working on it.

;D

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Why did the pun taste good?

Because it was corny.

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(Corny) Why could nobody understand the unemployed man?

He made no cents.

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Why can't anxious people walk on tight ropes?

Because they're too high-strung.

Corny I know, but I wrote it myself and had to put it out there.

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Wanna know what's really corny?

A field of corn.

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So my bf and I walk into a bar. We notice this guy kept hitting on the female bartender by telling her corny jokes as she fake chuckles.

One joke involved him asking her why no one trusted atoms. (Because they make up everything). My bf retaliates with his own joke... 'What do female bartenders like most about their male Patrons?.... Just the tip' 😎

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What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty

(Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt)


100% Guraneed Originality
You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

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What's a pirates favorite letter?

You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!'


Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes

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[Joke Requests] Im going as santa to a christmas party tonight and I need some good one-liners and jokes!

Im not looking for long winded jokes that have a punch line, more just quick witted (Some corny, some not) jokes to say. Somewhat along the lines of "can santa get some ho ho hos?" or stuff like that.

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What are the most funny Corny jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Corny? Well, here are the best Corny dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Corny pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes