corny Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious corny puns

The last joke my brother made up, before he passed away this week.

Him: "If my name was Ella, and I married Darth Vader. My name would be Elevator". Stupid and corny, but it's exactly the kind of lame jokes he would make.

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I signed up for Binary 101...

but it turned out to be a level 5 course.

Corny, but I'm still proud of myself.

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Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!

*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale

*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous

*Living Long* by Diane Perish

*How to Get Rich* by Robin A. Bank

*I'm So Greedy* by Jenna Russ

*How to Drive a Manual Transmission* by Otto Matic

*How to be a Great Pilot* by Mae Day

*Where to Find Wildebeests* By Sara N. Getti

*Raising Kids* by Bill E. Goat

*Warriors of Feudal Japan* by Sam A. Rye

*Woodwind Instruments* by Clara Net

*Tragedy at the Grand Canyon* by Eileen Dover

*The Human Brain* by Sir E. Brum and Sara Bellum

*Deep in Debt* by Owen A. Lott

*The World is a Big Place* by Mike Robe

*Confessions of a Mental Patient* by Justin Sane

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Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

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Suicide gone wrong [CORNY]

-Hey doc, so here's the thing, I felt really bad so I tried to kill myself with painkillers.
-Seriously? And what happened?
-After the first two, I felt much better.

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Just a compilation of 10 corny jokes that still make me chuckle.

1. What was wrong with the wooden car with wooden wheels?
It "wooden" go!

2. Why can't a dick be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot

3. A guy walks into the doctors office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ass. The doc takes one look and he says, "It looks like we have one hell of a problem here!" The guy responds "yea, and this is just the tip of the iceberg!"

4. I went to the zoo the other day. This zoo only had one dog.
It was a shitzu.

5.How did Hitler tie his shoesies?
In little Nazi's

6.If Al gore was a musician his album would be titled "Algorithms"

7.Sex while camping- It's intense!

8.How do Native Americans store their energy?
In ATP!

9.What's 10 inches long, pink and slippery?
A slipper.

10.What's blue and shaped like a square?
An undercover orange.

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Have you heard the joke about the tortilla...

it was corny.

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What's green and flies over Germany ?

Snazis.


This insanely corny joke brought to you by my Dad, circa 1990.
May he rest in peace!

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(Corny)-Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard?

Cuz everyone was dying to get in.

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What's wrong with a joke containing Cobalt, Radon and Yttrium?

It's CoRnY

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I tried to tell my son the joke about the donkey eating corn.

He said he didn't want to hear another corny ass joke out of me.

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I need a joke in to tell my Hispanic manager!

I tried telling my boss a corny joke but he said he didn't get it because it was too 'American'(his words not mine). So i told him I'd find a joke in Spanish and try telling him it. I want to make my boss laugh so help me out guys! So if you know any work friendly jokes in Spanish post them here with a translation. Thanks!

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My dad called in and told this joke to win a corny joke contest in the 70's

What has two knees and swims in the ocean?

A Two-knee fish!.....

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It's kinda corny...

What did baby corn say to momma corn?


"Where's pop corn?"

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a little corny but here it goes...what can u make with onions and baked beans?

tear gas

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So a grasshopper walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Hey we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named Steve?"

favorite corny joke

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What do you call a corny joke?

A maize zing!!!

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What kind of fish would you want to go to bed with?

A cuddlefish! (corny I know)

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Some people think corny jokes are bad.

But I think they're a-maize-ing!

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Old corny joke from my childhood.

Once upon a time there were three brothers.

There names were Shadhap, Traboule and Mannars.

One day Traboule was lost so the two other brothers went to the police.

Then Mannars had to go to the washroom and told his brother to talk to the policeman.

The policeman asked, "What is your name?"

"Shadhap." the remaining brother answered.

The policeman was shocked and replied, "My word! That is quite rude! I will ask again, what is your name?"

"Shadhap!" he replied again.

"Look here son, are you looking for trouble?"

"Oh my gosh yes! How did you know?"

The policeman now furious, "Where are your manners?"

"In the toilet sir!"

~~And the policeman fainted~~

And the cop shot him.

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(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof?

Aerial

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Corny jokes!

Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?

A: Because it's two-tired.


Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?

A: It becomes daytrogen.


Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?

A: In the Ark Hives!


Q: Can February March?

A: No, but April May.


Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?

A: Homiecide


"Fish tanks are stupid!"

"Why?"

"Fish don't even have any militaries!"

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What did the cell say when another cell stepped on his feet?

"Ouch! Mitosis!"

I'm so sorry you read this corny ass joke.

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Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

*Because it had no monastery value.*

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

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[Corny] Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in a crack

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What do you call a Ghost without any Boo's?

SOBER!

Note: (am Dad) I told this joke to my kids at Olive Garden last night, and an old lady made sure to let me know how corny it was

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Why didn't the two slices of bread talk?

Because there was beef between them!


> I was arguing with my girlfriend about what constitutes a sandwich. One thing lead to another and this corny joke was born. It's probably been said before. Enjoy!

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Do you guys like corny jokes?

Because I have some absolutely a-maize-ing ones!

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Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes.
But opticians like them *cornea*.

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Why couldn't the sun go to college? (Corny)

Because he already has a million degrees.

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What's the only thing worse than a poop joke?

A corny poop joke. You can really visualize it.

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I was going to tell you guys a joke about my poop but....

It's too corny

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What did the DJ say to the farmer?

Lettuce, turnip, the beet.

I know, it was corny.

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Why is cheddar popcorn such a terrible joke?

It's both corny and cheesy.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

He'll do it **Juan by Juan.** (So corny, IK.)

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Have you heard the one about the grain farmer?

It was corny.

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What did the baby corn say to its mother?

Where's popcorn?

Was that too corny for you?

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did you hear about the farmer who was also a comedian

I heard all his jokes were corny

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Wanna hear some jokes about tortilla chips?

Never mind, they're too corny.

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A Joke about vegetables.

Never mind. It's too corny.

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I heard you guys like corny jokes

I'll give you an ear full : ^ )

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What's the healthiest type of joke?

A corny one

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I've got a joke about Iowa.

But it might be too corny for y'all.

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I was going to tell a cereal joke at my first stand-up gig

But it was too corny, so I flaked.

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Why did the pun taste good?

Because it was corny.

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What's a farmer's favorite kind of joke?

A corny one.

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A joke about ethanol

nvm... too corny.

Oh, but I do have a ~~construction joke~~ - eh, actually I'm still working on it.

;D

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Corny Joke I Heard On The Radio

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

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A simple knock knock....(warning: ultra corny like most knock knock jokes)

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Frank Lee!
Frank Lee who?
Frank Lee my dear, I don't give a darn!

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Wanna know what's really corny?

A field of corn.

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Why can't anxious people walk on tight ropes?

Because they're too high-strung.

Corny I know, but I wrote it myself and had to put it out there.

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(Corny) Why could nobody understand the unemployed man?

He made no cents.

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Wanna hear my vegetable joke?

Nah, It's too corny.

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What's a pirates favorite letter?

You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!'


Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes

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What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty

(Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt)


100% Guraneed Originality
You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

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So my bf and I walk into a bar. We notice this guy kept hitting on the female bartender by telling her corny jokes as she fake chuckles.

One joke involved him asking her why no one trusted atoms. (Because they make up everything). My bf retaliates with his own joke... 'What do female bartenders like most about their male Patrons?.... Just the tip' 😎

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What did baby corn say to mummy corn?

Where's popcorn?

.....Sorry.....I know this joke is corny.....

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[Corny] What does a highlighter say when it answers the phone?

Yello?

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

Lol, sorry if it's corny. Pizza hut guy came and my delivery request was to tell a joke. Shout out to delivery dude!

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[Joke Requests] Im going as santa to a christmas party tonight and I need some good one-liners and jokes!

Im not looking for long winded jokes that have a punch line, more just quick witted (Some corny, some not) jokes to say. Somewhat along the lines of "can santa get some ho ho hos?" or stuff like that.

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I was going to post a joke about my poop this morning

but it was too corny.

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Get ready for a corny joke!

***What is Mr. Corn's philosophy on life?***

Life is a maze.

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Maize

Sorry if the joke was too corny.

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I was thinking of making puns about grain...

But most people can *barley* stand it.



Yes, I know. That was pretty *corny*. You're probably thinking, "*Rye* did you do this?" I'm probably going too *farro* with this. I'm sorry

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Why do tortillas get such a bad wrap?

Because they are so corny.

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Anyone care to explain how some jokes can be corny?

I'm all ears.

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Jokes i need your help

I'm on a road trip with a co-worker who hates corny, punny, cheesy and one liner type jokes. I love telling him those sorts of jokes trying to get him to laugh.

I had an idea. If you fine people hit me with some of your favorites, I'll spend the next two days telling him jokes and tell you which ones made him laugh. Please? It would make me laugh just trying.

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Did I tell you the one about the maize?

Nevermind, it's too corny.

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While were at it, this is the joke I made up when I was 9

A football team is eating in the cafeteria and they're all waiting in line. Sean plays safety on the football team, and all of the sudden, he starts to cut the line!

Everybody is upset: "Why do you get to go ahead?" They asked.

Sean replied: "Safety First!"



Corny I know, but I was convinced I would be a comedian

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Corny Deadpool joke

Wolverine has DirecTV. Deadpool has Cable.

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Do you want to hear my joke about poop?

It's pretty corny

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How do cows pay for things?

With MOO-Lah

(if too corny just shiv me fam)

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Poop jokes are great,

But sometimes they're slightly corny.

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What do you call a fox hole full of stoned soldiers?

A Pot Hole

yes I know it's a head slapper it's so corny!

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A corny joke.

How did the Scarecrow become a. neurosurgeon so fast? It's because he was amazing in his field.

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Wanna hear a corny joke?

Ethanol

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What should I buy for dinner?

I see frozen peas are cool this time of year.


..you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke.

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So my friend asked if I wanted to hear a corny joke...

So I said, "I'm all ears!"

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Original Corny Joke

Who leads the corn into battle?
The kernal!
Bahahahaha

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Two corny jokes

Why did the farmer standing in the field call 911?

He thought he was being stalked.


Why did the corn go to the doctor?

It had an ear infection.

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What's worse than a joke about shit?

A joke about shit that's corny!

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I would tell you a joke about Iowa...

...but it'd be pretty corny.

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Want to hear a corny joke??

Then please, lend me your ear.

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I hate cheesy jokes...

But corny ones are gouda

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Have you guys heard the joke about the airplane?

I'd tell it, but it'd go over your heads....
CORNY JOKES THREAD!
OP will deliver knee slappers and humdingers!

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Warning... Corny level is over 9000... What do you call a billionaire fish?

A gillionaire

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Jimmy cracked jokes and I don't...

find them funny. They're too corny.

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Why did the mature guy enjoy the painfully corny joke?

Because he was a groan man.

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Dad jokes are like shit in Nebraska

Corny.

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My jokes are so corny

you'll be seeing them in your shit for days.

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The Worst Joke Ever

What kind of jokes do farmers tell?
CORNY JOKES!!!

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Corny Jokes

What kind of bees produce milk?

--Boobies

Why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?

-- fo drizzle

What's black and rhymes with snoop?

--Dr. Dre

Why don't you play poker in the jungle?

-- Too many cheetahs

What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she have him a sweater for Xmas??

-- Gh, Gh, Ghee, U Knit..

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Did you hear that joke about ethanol?

It's a little corny.

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I've always been corny...

When I was born, there were three storks. One to deliver me and two to fend off the crows.

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What's the best part about living in Indiana?

All the corny jokes.

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Corny Japanese Cartoons

Ani-maize

...I'll leave now.

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What are your best corny jokes?

I want them all!

"What's brown and sticky?"

"A stick."

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What kind of jokestuff do farmers like?

Corny jokes.

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I was gonna make a vegetable pun

But i thought it'd be too corny

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Some vegetables were at a comedy show.

The jokes were pretty Corny.

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Wanna hear a really corny joke?

What did one corn say to the other corn?

Lend me your ear.

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Who's the father of corny jokes?

Popcorn!

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What was Paul McCartney's response to people asking why his music is so corny?

"Maybe I'm a maize"

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What do you call a gluten free joke?

Corny...

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What happens when you're not ready for a corny pick-up line?

You're left shocked.

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Atoms are all liars...

They make up everything!

Credit to wherever my awesomely lame chemistry teacher finds her corny jokes :)

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Corny Jokes...

..have no stalk in them.

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Corny Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the idiots house!!!!

Knock Knock!!!!

(You know what comes next,comment for the rest)

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A lot of people think puns are corny.

I find them rather a-maize-ing!

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Vegetable Jokes

Do you guys want to hear my vegetable jokes?... Never mind. They're way too corny.

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You know what's corny and cheesy?

Tacos.

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I was about to make a joke about maize

But it was way too corny

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I hate corny animal puns.

For fox sake, stop it!

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After eating KFC for two days straight I felt like making a poop joke...

but it just came out too corny.

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I made a movie about life in a farm...

...but the film quality was too grainy and the acting was too corny.

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Why do Midwesterners have such great smiles?

Because their diet is very corny and cheesy.

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Weather forecast for today: Partly sunny...

... partly moony.

Thanks mom for the corny joke to share on the internet.

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Why did the corn get fired?

He was drinking on the cob.

Sorry for the corny joke.

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I was going to tell a joke about maize...

But then I decided it was too corny.

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joke?

I would say a unicorn joke but it would be to corny.

yea i'm pretty bad

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Want to hear a corny joke?

Never mind I forgot the skewers.

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Corny boob joke

Ba dum titss

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Is my corny pun...

A-maize-zing?

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Even the first puns ever were corny

The first pun ever recorded is in the Epic of Gilgamesh. It states that the heavens will drop kibtu which stands for corn. But kibtu was a pun for kibittu which means misery. I guess even the first puns were corny...

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Puns

How do characters in romantic comedies sext each other? "Omg baby I'm so corny right now"

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Did I tell you the one about the maze?

Nevermind, it's too corny.

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I was going to make a joke about the midwest...

...but it was too corny

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I tell my dad his jokes are all so corny...

"Well at least they present a **kernel** of knowledge"

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My cousin, a Shoprite cashier, asked a customer "how many ears do you have in that bag", the customer counted and said "8", My cousin then replied "I was going to say you must have really good hearing, but I thought that would have been too corny!"

She claims she thought of this on the spot, I thought the double pun was pretty damn clever!

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What do you call a bunch of corny liberals?

Cornflakes

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I once told a joke so corny...

That it was sold at the farmers' market

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Why does nobody understand corny jokes?

They are hard to digest.

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My wife made me stop telling jokes about corn...

She says they were too corny.

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How can I tell a corny joke?

You put corn on it.

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I was gonna tell you guys a joke about corn.

But it's too corny.

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What's yellow and corny?

An Asian comedian

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Do you want to hear a joke about maize?

Never mind, it's too corny

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I don't think I'll watch the Maze Runner movie.

It seems too corny

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What did the corn stalk say to the other corn stalk?

"That outfit makes you look very corny."

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Have you ever eaten a seedless corn?

So corny. Haha

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My friends don't like it when I make poop jokes

They're really corny.

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Wanna Hear a Corny Joke?

no??? Awww Shucks

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Corny Joke: What do you get when you drop a few ears of corn into a pie?

You get a cobbler!

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I compare this joke to my last bowel movement...

Corny.

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My friends call me a piece of shit

I think it's because I'm corny

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People often say my jokes are corny...

I guess I'm just not wheaty enough.

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Why do seagulls fly over the sea..? If they flew over the bay they'd be bagels. 🀣

This joke is corny but my absolute favorite. Has been for many years.

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Have you heard the one about the farmer?

Nah, it's too corny.

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I was gonna make a joke about unicorns.

It probably would be to corny (I'm not funny)

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What does corn say when it's frustrated?

Aw shucks!


(Yes, I know this joke is very corny)

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What are the best Corny puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Corny? Well, here are the best jokes about Corny to have fun with.

Joko Jokes