Corner Office Jokes
33 corner office jokes and hilarious corner office puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about corner office that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Corner Office Short Jokes
Short corner office jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The corner office humour may include short office inside jokes also.
- My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
- My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I'm paid to travel My dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver
- How do you keep Trump busy for the rest of his term? Tell him his twitter phone is in the corner of his office.
- How do you drive President Trump crazy? Tell him you placed evidence of voter fraud in the corner of his office.
- The job of your dreams Do you want to drive a vehicle worth $100,000?
Do you want a corner office with windows?
Do you love to travel?
If so, then become a bus driver! - When trouble brews, why do members of the White House staff rush the president to the Oval Office? Because he can never be cornered there.
- It was a bit cold when I got into the office this morning. I stood in the corner. It was 90 degrees.
- After a horrible crime wave, the NYPD put mounted police officers on every street corner in the city. It was an impressive show of horse.
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Corner Office One Liners
Which corner office one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with corner office? I can suggest the ones about corner shop and office desk.
- Why is the oval office oval shaped? Because the government cuts corners.
- What did the officer say when he cornered the thief in a bakery? focaccia!
- My uncle is a five star general. He even has a corner office at the Pentagon It's dull
Corner Office Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about corner office you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean office jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make corner office pranks.
In honour of my first cake day, here's a few of my favourite riddles. Feel free to try them on your friends.
Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?
A: A hole
Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?
A: Post office
Q: The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A: A coffin
Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?
A: A stamp
Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn't move?
A: A fence
Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope
The kid runs up to a policeman
"Officer!" yells the kid, "My father is in a fight with another man!"
The officer says "Calm down kid, where is he?"
"He's right around the corner!" exclaims the kid.
The cop follows him around the corner, and sure enough, there's two men going at it as hard as they can.
"Which one is your father?" asks the cop
"I don't know!" cries the kid. "That's what they're fighting about!"
A Husband came home late at night from the office one day and realised he forgot his Wife's birthday...
"How would you feel if you don't see me for next few days?" His wife said
He couldn't believe his luck. He replied at once. "Wowww.....That would be great!''
Monday passed & he didn't see her....
Tuesday he didn't see her...
and Wednesday passed too...
On Thursday the swelling was better as he caught a glimpse of her from the corner of his left eye.
A black man walks into a corner store with a gun...
He tosses a bag to the man behind the counter and says, "Fill it up with the big ones", the man fills the bag with king-sized snickers and says: "That'll be $10.55, officer."
The aging head of a secluded Monastary decides he will take a walk into the nearby town for the first time in 30 years.
As he's walking down the street he passes a h**... on a corner who says "Hey twenty dollars for a q**...". Confused, he walks past another corner and another h**... says "Hey padre, twenty dollars for a q**...". He has no idea whats going on, so he returns to the monastary and calls the Mother Superior to his office and asks her "Whats a q**...?" She replies "Twenty dollars, same as in town".
My tinder profile says
that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.
My dates are always seem disappointed when they find out I'm a bus driver.
Job opening in a fast paced company
Do you want a corner office with a view?
Do you like being paid to travel in a $400,000 company paid vehicle?
Do you like to be in control of your job and steer it in the direction you want?
Do you want people to respect you, and get out of your way?
Bob did, so he became a bus driver in our company. You can be one too! Apply today!
The sales chief, the HR chief, and the boss are on their way to lunch around the corner.
They detour through an alley and stumble on a beat up but valuable looking brass container.
The sales chief picks it up and starts cleaning it with his handkerchief.
Suddenly, a genie emerges out of a curtain of purple smoke.
The genie is grateful to be set free and offers them each a wish.
The HR chief is wide-eyed and ecstatic.
She says, "I want to be living on a beautiful beach in Jamaica with a sailboat and enough money to make me happy for the rest of my life."
p**...! She disappears.
The sales chief says, "Wow! I want to be happily married to a wealthy supermodel with penthouses in New York, Paris, and Hong Kong."
Presto, he vanishes.
"And how about you?" asks the Genie, looking at the boss.
The boss scowls and says, "I want both those idiots back in the office by 2 PM."
Moral: Always let your boss speak first.
A man bought a new car.
Next day he is driving his car to office.
On the way he was waiting for the Signal.
Suddenly he opened the door and got down.
Then he went to the Traffic Police and asked him, "How much should I pay to turn right?"
The Policeman was astonished and asked, "Why are you asking like this?"
Then man showed him the sign board which was in the corner of the road: "Free Left Turn"
Another Blonde Joke
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead have just robbed a bank are are on the run with the police hot on their tails. They run down an alley and find three empty boxes, so they each jump in a box. The police round the corner and approach the boxes. They kick the first box, containing the brunette. She yells out: Woof woof! . Oh, it's only puppies , says the police officer. They kick the second box. The redhead yells out Meow meow! . Oh, it's just kittens , says the officer. They kick the third box. The blonde yells out: Potatoes potatoes!
A guy California short stops a stop sign
And keeps going down an empty road. A cop who was sitting at the opposite corner sees this and pulls him over.
As he heads towards the drivers side door, the driver is rolling down his window and asks "What seems to be the issue, officer?"
"Well, I saw you didn't stop at the stop sign," he replies. "Is there any reason for that?"
The driver says, "Well there isn't anyone around, I figured it wouldn't hurt much, I did slow down."
So the officer pulls out his baton and starts wailing on the driver in his car.
As he's beating him, he's yelling "SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SLOW DOWN OR STOP?!"
Blonde, brunette, and a redhead. (I told this joke outloud to the whole class when I was in 2nd grade and got sent to the office)
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all running from the cops and end up getting cornered. The brunette points behind the cops and screams "tornado!" The cops all turn around and she runs away. The redhead points the same direction and screams "volcano eruption!" Once again, the cops turn around and the redhead runs away. Only the blonde is left and she screams "fire!" So the cops shoot her and she dies.
What Is Chutzpah?
Chutzpah is a Yiddish word meaning gall, brazen nerve, effrontery, sheer guts plus arrogance; it's Yiddish and no other word, and no other language, can do it justice.
A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for a dollar each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and as he passed the pretzel stand he would leave her $1.00, but never take a pretzel.
This offering went on for more than 3 years. The two of them never spoke. One day as the young man passed the old lady's stand and left his dollar as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him for the first time in over 3 years. Without blinking an eye she said: "They're $1.25 now."
CIA assessment center
After the standard round of interviews, a good dozen of applicants sit before the director of the CIA office.
"Trust is central to our business, ladies and gentlemen. Still, intelligence, precision and punctuality are nearly as essential. So, to the test: You have an envelope with a coded address on it. It contains important top secret data for someone in this office building. Get this sensitive information to him."
The applicants scurry away with their red labeled envelopes, each trying to crack the code and simultaneously making their way through the labyrinthine vastness of the CIA office building.
Only one applicant rounds the corner and, after looking left and right, breaks the "TOP SECRET" seal and rips open the envelope. Inside, he finds a sheet of paper, that says: "Misuse of trust is central to our business. Come back to my office to sign your contract."
Medical miracle!
An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months together, the woman wasn't feeling well and she went to her doctor.
The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're going to be a mother."
"Get serious doctor, I'm 80."
"I know," said the doctor, "This morning, I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle."
"I'll be darned," she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a rage, she dialed her husband.
"Hello" she heard in his familiar halting voice.
She screamed, "You rotten s**.... You got me pregnant!"
There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, "Who's calling please?"
Oprah Winfrey goes to the doctor for a physical...
...she walks into the doctor's office and sits down on the waiting table. The doctor comes in and says,
"Welcome back Oprah! First, I need you to take your clothes off."
She takes off her clothes and sits back down on the table. The doctor then says,
"Now I'm going to need you to stand over there in the corner."
Oprah gets up and stands in the corner and looks at the doctor. The Doctor takes a long look of inspection and says,
"Hmmmm. Now I would like you to stand over there on the other side of the room."
Oprah does what he says and, again, waits for his instruction. The doctor then replies,
"Hmmm. Can you please go back to the original corner and stand there again?"
Oprah, growing curious asks,
"Doctor, why are you having me stand n**... in different corners of the room?"
To which the doctor replies,
"I plan on purchasing a leather sofa and want to see how it will look in this room."
Valentine Cards
Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's day, he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying scent over the envelopes.
By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so I asked the man why he was sending all those cards. The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asked Mike.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.
A farmer was working in his field...
when a carload of politicians rounded the corner at high speed, lost control, and flipped into a ditch.
A few hours later, a state trooper pulled up and asked, "Excuse me sir, but did you happen to see a car full of politicians come through here?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did, officer. They crashed over there," replied the farmer, gesturing towards a fresh mound of dirt.
"You BURIED them?" asked the officer in shock. "Were they dead?"
The farmer scratched his head. "Well, officer, they SAID they weren't, but... well, you know how those politicians lie"
An old man is met by his attorney, and is told he is going to be audited. He rides to the IRS office with his attorney, and when he gets there, he begins to talk with the IRS agent. "I bet $2,000 I can bite my own eye!" The IRS agent agrees to the bet, believing it an impossible task. The old man laughs, pulls out his glass eye, and bites it. The IRS agent is dumbfounded. The old man bets $3,000 he can bite his other eye. The IRS agent knows there's no way possible to do this, so he once more agrees. The old man cackles, pulls out his dentures, and bites his eye. Then the old man finally wagers, "I bet $20,000 I can stand on the far side of your desk, pee over the desk, and get it into your wastebasket, without missing a single drop." The agent knows he won't be able to, so once more he agrees. The old man indeed misses, peeing all over the desk, and on the paperwork. The IRS agent jumps for joy, but then notices the attorney over in the corner moaning. "Are you all right?" asks the agent. "No! On the way over here, he bet me $400,000 he could pee on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"