The Best 76 Corn Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Corn jokes. There are some corn ethanol jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these corn buccaneer puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Corn Jokes and Puns
Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"
"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."
Gardens (only clean joke I know)
Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?
Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"
"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."
"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."
"It's a big rooster," she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
Know how much a pirate pays for corn?
Bucaneer
What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a nymphomaniac with diarrhea?
One shucks between fits
It's kinda corny...
What did baby corn say to momma corn?
"Where's pop corn?"
What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field?
amaized.
what can u make with onions and baked beans?
tear gas
A senior nun walks in on an novice...
... who was vigourously masturbating with a cob of corn.
The Mother Superior says: "That's disgusting! I was going to eat that, and you know I hate the taste of corn!"
A Chinese farmer tells a judge he wants a divorce...
So the judge asks him why. The farmer says, "I'm just a simple farmer, I never went to school, and I don't know very much. But I do know this: when I plant corn, I get corn; when I plant rice, I get rice; now when I plant Chinese boy and black boy comes out, something's wrong."
A customer's corn broke through her bag. I told her it was too husky.
She stared at me blankly. Something must've been wrong with her ears.
You can explore corn cereal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean corn iowa dad jokes. There are also corn puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Willpower
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.'
I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
Why is corn the best vegetable to talk to?
It's all ears!
Corniest joke I know.
Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners playboy mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the playboy mansion seeing two friars outside.
Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.
The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Badum psh
An even cornier joke
One stalk of corn said to the other stalk of corn, "Hey, can I tell you something?"
The other stalk of corn said, "I'm all ears."
If Billy Mays were a farmer...
And he ran a really good corn maze during the spring, it would be called the "Amazing May Mays Maize Maze."
A caring son
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "
I told my girlfriend I was unfaithful
My girlfriend found blonde hair on the passenger seat of my car, so I had to say that I was cheating on her.
How embarrassing would it be if she knew I sold corn on the freeway?
How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn?
A buck an ear
A farmer finds a shoebox under his wife's side of the bed
The box contained two ears of corn and $4000. He went to his wife
Farmer: What's this?
Wife: I have a confession to make. Whenever I cheated on you I put an ear of corn in the box.
The farmer gasps, then thinks "50 years of marriage...only twice..that's not too awful.
Farmer: What about the $4000?
Wife: Whenever I got a bushel I sold it.
Corny jokes!
Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
A: Because it's two-tired.
Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.
Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?
A: In the Ark Hives!
Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May.
Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?
A: Homiecide
"Fish tanks are stupid!"
"Why?"
"Fish don't even have any militaries!"
I downloaded corn onto my computer.
It messed up the kernel.
What did baby corn say to mommy corn?
Where's popcorn?
If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it...
...and I'll be the colonel.
NSFW: Drunk driving Jethro hits two black pedestrians. Jethro asks Buford the Sheriff why he's cuffing the two dying black men...
... Buford says, "I'm arresting this one in your windshield for breaking and entering, and the other one laying in the corn field for leaving the scene of an accident"
What do pirate farmers charge for their corn?
A buccaneer
What happens if you castrate a corn cob?
It becomes a eunuchcorn.
I love corn!
It's a food that always amaizes me.
How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buck an ear
What's the difference between a corn husker with epilepsy and a prostitute with dysentery?
What's the difference between a corn husker with epilepsy and a prostitute with dysentery?
One shucks between fits.
(Corny)-Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard?
Cuz everyone was dying to get in.
(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof?
Aerial
What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes?
"Uh-oh, spaghetti hoes!"
Just overheard a young boy tell his friend this joke
What do you call a corn dog with no legs?
A *corn dog*, stupid! Corn dogs don't have legs!
What the corniest part of a corn field?
The corner.
Corn
Give a white man an ear of corn, he eats for a day
Teach a white man to grow corn, he steals all your land
I got lost in a corn field.
It was quite a maize.
Why wouldn't Dolores let William eat the corn?
Because the maize isn't meant for him.
Hey girl, do you live in a corn field?
Because I'm stalking you.
Why is it risky to tell secrets on a farm?
The corn have ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beanstalk.
What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with dysentery?
The farmer shucks between fits.
A man was in a psych ward for thinking he was a piece of corn.
He was finally cured and set free, but immediatelly came back to the mental hospital trembling in fear. When asked why, he said, "there's a chicken outside."
Doctor: "but sir, you do know you're human right? Not a piece of corn."
Patient: "of course I know that! But does the chicken know?!"
What did the baby corn say to its mother?
Where's popcorn?
Was that too corny for you?
My friend made a flute out of a carrot...
It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.
My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.
Why should you never eat Jolly Green Giant vegetables?
Because he always stands over the corn and peas.
Ho ho ho....
Be sure to always whisper while in a corn maze
The walls have ears.
What did the ear of corn say when he lost his leaves?
Schucks!
Feed a man corn and he will eat for a day
Teach a man to grow corn, he will kill your people and steal your land
Give a man some corn, he eats for a day.
Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!
Did you hear about the lieutenant that had to watch a corn field?
He's a colonel now
What did the magician say before he turned his assistant into an ear of corn?
Prepare to be a-maize-d
How much would a pirate sell corn for?
About a buck an ear.
A genetic botanist doesn't show up to the church picnic.
Her concerned husband finds her in her lab working feverishly on a new pesticide resistant strain of maize.
"Aren't you coming to the congregation picnic?". He asks.
"Screw them and their impossible deadlines! They told me I have until today to get the corn bred!"
What did the baby corn ask his mum?
Where's pop corn?
Don't tell secrets in the garden:
The potatoes have eyes
The corn has ears
And the beanstalk.
A corn walks into a bar...
And it says to the bartender:
"Hey, wanna hear a joke?"
The bartender agrees. The corn then asks:
"What did the traffic light say to the car?"
The bartender then says: "What?"
The corn says: "DON'T LOOK! I'M CHANGING!"
The bartender shakes his head in disappointment and says:
"Didn't know what I was expecting."
What did baby corn ask mother corn?
Where's pop corn?
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
I'm being stalked!
Why were cornflakes invented joke
Well your favourite morning meal was invented to lower your libido and stops you from masturbating early in the morning.
What does a baby corn call his dad?
Popcorn.
What did the baby corn ask the mama corn?
Where's pop corn?
A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal...
carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.
The conductor asks him Will you need any sheet music?
The man replies, Nah, I'll play it by ear.
What did baby corn said to momma corn?
Where is popcorn?
I was going to tell a joke about a corn eyeball...
But it just keeps getting cornea and cornea
What's the difference between an epileptic corn schucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
One schucks between fits.......
I'll see myself out......
Who is the leader of the corn army?
The kernal.
A corn farmer asked his field "are you listening?"
To which the field responded "I'm all ears"
When life gives you...
...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...
...Make lemonade.
A dog is running awa
A dog is running away from a farm.
The pig asks him why?
The dog replies, "this family doesn't want me man, I'm out"
The pig says what do you mean, the humans always pet you, they take you in walks, you have free reign over the farm. To which the dog replies, "not even pig, all I get for food are left overs, you get corn, and fruits, look how fat you are. I even overheard Papa say he was going to make you Ham for Christmas!!"
Everybody knows that a cornucopia is also called a "Horn of Plenty" but do you know its other name?
A Snaxaphone.
What did baby corn tell mamma corn?
Where's pop corn?
From my 7 year old daughter.
Down at the farmers market and a man dress as a pirate was selling corn for 1$
It was a buccaneer
What did the baby corn say to the mamma corn?
Where's popcorn?
What does Iowa corn and Iowa football have in common?
They're both better that what Nebraska has to offer.
What Did the Little corn ask his mama corn?
mom wheres Popcorn
What is the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with explosive diarrhea?
One of them shucks between fits.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the corn oat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working corn nebraska piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.