Corn Jokes
181 corn jokes and hilarious corn puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about corn that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some corn-y jokes? You've come to the right place! Check out our collection of jokes about corn, farmers, and more.
Quick Jump To
- Short Corn Jokes
- Corn One Liners
- Field Corn Jokes
- Corn Field Jokes
- Corn Flakes Jokes
- Corn Cobs Jokes
- Candy Corn Jokes
- More Corn Jokes
Funniest Corn Short Jokes
Short corn jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The corn humour may include short crop jokes also.
- I said to the woman at the deli, I'd like to buy a corned beef and pastrami, with pickles. She replied, Sorry..." "We only take cash or card.
- Feed a man corn and he will eat for a day Teach a man to grow corn, he will kill your people and steal your land
- Give a man some corn, he eats for a day. Teach a man to grow corn, he kills you and steals your land!
- Why is it risky to tell secrets on a farm? The corn have ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beanstalk.
- Why can't a farmer keep secrets on her farm? Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes and the beans stalk.
- What's the best thing about corn? It's the only food that if you really wanted to you could eat twice
- Corn Give a white man an ear of corn, he eats for a day
Teach a white man to grow corn, he steals all your land - A cob of corn finishes his service in the army and retires as a Colonel in good standing among his field
- Don't tell secrets in the garden: The potatoes have eyes
The corn has ears
And the beanstalk. - A corn farmer asked his field "are you listening?" To which the field responded "I'm all ears"
Share These Corn Jokes With Friends
Corn One Liners
Which corn one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with corn? I can suggest the ones about beans and rice.
- What did baby corn say to mommy corn? Where's popcorn?
- I accidentally put corn starch in my novel.. The plot thickened.
- What happens if you castrate a corn cob? It becomes a eunuchcorn.
- What does a baby corn call his dad? Popcorn.
- How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buck an ear
- What did the baby corn ask the mama corn? Where's pop corn?
- What Did the Little corn ask his mama corn? mom wheres Popcorn
- What the corniest part of a corn field? The corner.
- What did the baby corn say to the mamma corn? Where's popcorn?
- Why is corn the best vegetable to talk to? It's all ears!
- It's kinda corny... What did baby corn say to momma corn?
"Where's pop corn?" - How Much Did the Pirate Charge For Corn? A buck an ear
- What did the baby corn call his dad? Popcorn.
(sorry if that joke was a little corny) - What did baby corn ask mother corn? Where's pop corn?
- what did the kid-corn say to the mom-corn Wheres the popcorn
Field Corn Jokes
Here is a list of funny field corn jokes and even better field corn puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the lieutenant that had to watch a corn field? He's a colonel now
- What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field? amaized.
- I got lost in a corn field. It was quite a maize.
- Did you hear about the Russian plane that had to land in the middle of a corn crop? Don't worry, that pilot is the best in the field.
- Hey girl, do you live in a corn field? Because I'm stalking you.
- You know why corn fields are the best to tell dad jokes to? Cause they're all ears.
- The corn industry has been doing well these past few years. It's a growing field.
- Wanna know what's really corny? A field of corn.
- Did you know some farmers employ horses to watch over their fields? Its hay per view corn.
- Why did the farmer talk to his corn field? Because they were all ears.
Corn Field Jokes
Here is a list of funny corn field jokes and even better corn field puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was the corn farmer paranoid? Because the field has ears.
- I find that corn fields are the best places to vent your frustrations... ...because they're all ears.
- Why did the corn maze go back to school? It was tired of working in a dead end field.
- Two corny jokes Why did the farmer standing in the field call 911?
He thought he was being stalked.
Why did the corn go to the doctor?
It had an ear infection. - Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field? Because, corn has ears!
- What did the unicorn say to the other unicorn? We have been out here in the fields for so long that I can't believe we made it to university corn!
- I've decided I really dont like driving through corn fields at night They're very eerie.
- I saw a guy cut a curvy path through a corn field... It was a-ma(i)zing.
- Driving past a corn field I planted and told my wife how great it feels to see the fruits of my labor She paused for a few seconds before replying, "(OP), those are vegetables, d**...."
Corn Flakes Jokes
Here is a list of funny corn flakes jokes and even better corn flakes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A couple of bodies have been found in my town with corn flakes at the scene… I'm beginning to think we have a cereal killer
- Which is a better partner in the bedroom, corn or grape? Grape, because when it's time to get down to business, corn flakes, but grape nuts.
- Police have arrested a gang of Corn Flakes that they alledge committed a spree of armed robberies throughout the metro area. A Police spokesman described them as... ....cereal offenders.
- I stepped on a corn flake Now I'm a cereal killer.
- What do you call a group of cereal boxes that never keep their word? Corn flakes
- TIL the creator of Corn Pops also invented Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, and Apple Jacks His tombstone just says "cereal entrepreneur"
- I once accidentally poured glue in my son's corn flakes He's never talked to me again
- Today I stepped on a corn flake. Does that make me a cereal killer?
- Who killed the Corn Flake? The cereal killer...
- What do you get when you put 1 tsp each of almonds, oats, corn flakes, and raisins in a bowl? A muesli/measly serving.
Corn Cobs Jokes
Here is a list of funny corn cobs jokes and even better corn cobs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man walks into his orchestra rehearsal... carrying some corn on the cob as his instrument.
The conductor asks him Will you need any sheet music?
The man replies, Nah, I'll play it by ear. - What did the pirate charge for a corn on the cob? A buck an ear
- What is the difference between corn on the cob and corn off the cob? Now that I have your ear- there is no punchline. This has all just been a corny set up.
- What do they call the corn-police? Cobs
- What did John Fogerty say when he once again became trapped under Mexican corn on the cob? Oh Lord, stuck in elote again
- What did the corn say to the turkey? Cob-ble, cob-ble, cob-ble
- Why did the corn get fired? He was drinking on the cob.
Sorry for the corny joke. - How does Perry the pea pod greet his mate Kevin the corn kernel? Morn'in cob.
- What do you call a corn cob on a track team? A maize runner.
Credit goes to my girlfriend. - What do you call a promiscuous corn cob? An easy shuck.
Candy Corn Jokes
Here is a list of funny candy corn jokes and even better candy corn puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- black air force 1 candy corn jokes Eating candy corn is equivalent to wearing black air force 1 nike
- How to eat candy corn Step one: throw it in the trash
- I ate so many sweets last night... There was candy corn in my morning p**....
Great Corn Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about corn you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean horn jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make corn pranks.
c**... is the game
Cause Bubba aint allowed to throw horseshoes no more.
Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says "I'm planning on going into farming, it's what my father did and it makes good money." The second asks "What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?"
"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."
Gardens (only clean joke I know)
Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?
Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"
"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."
"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."
"It's a big rooster," she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
Know how much a pirate pays for corn?
Bucaneer
What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a nymphomaniac with diarrhea?
One shucks between fits
what can u make with onions and baked beans?
A senior nun walks in on an novice...
... who was vigourously m**... with a cob of corn.
The Mother Superior says: "That's disgusting! I was going to eat that, and you know I hate the taste of corn!"
A Chinese farmer tells a judge he wants a divorce...
So the judge asks him why. The farmer says, "I'm just a simple farmer, I never went to school, and I don't know very much. But I do know this: when I plant corn, I get corn; when I plant rice, I get rice; now when I plant Chinese boy and black boy comes out, something's wrong."
A customer's corn broke through her bag. I told her it was too husky.
She stared at me blankly. Something must've been wrong with her ears.
Willpower
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips, ear of corn, & a jumbo sausage. A poor, homeless man sat there and said 'I haven't eaten for two days.'
I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.'
Corniest joke I know.
Two friars decide to open up a business selling flowers in LA. They settup a booth right outside of Hugh Hefners p**... mansion. After about a week, their business wasnt going so well and it was also driving away people from the p**... mansion seeing two friars outside.
Eventually Hugh Hefner himself came out and put a stop to all of this.
The point of the story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Badum psh
An even cornier joke
One stalk of corn said to the other stalk of corn, "Hey, can I tell you something?"
The other stalk of corn said, "I'm all ears."
If Billy Mays were a farmer...
And he ran a really good corn maze during the spring, it would be called the "Amazing May Mays Maize Maze."
A caring son
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn.
The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!! " the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up. "
"That's mighty nice of you, " Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to. "
"Aw, come on," the farmer insisted.
"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it. "
After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset. "
"Don't be foolish! " the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he? "
"Under the wagon. "
I told my girlfriend I was unfaithful
My girlfriend found blonde hair on the passenger seat of my car, so I had to say that I was cheating on her.
How embarrassing would it be if she knew I sold corn on the freeway?
A farmer finds a shoebox under his wife's side of the bed
The box contained two ears of corn and $4000. He went to his wife
Farmer: What's this?
Wife: I have a confession to make. Whenever I cheated on you I put an ear of corn in the box.
The farmer gasps, then thinks "50 years of marriage...only twice..that's not too awful.
Farmer: What about the $4000?
Wife: Whenever I got a bushel I sold it.
Corny jokes!
Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
A: Because it's two-tired.
Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.
Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?
A: In the Ark Hives!
Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May.
Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?
A: Homiecide
"Fish tanks are s**...!"
"Why?"
"Fish don't even have any militaries!"
I downloaded corn onto my computer.
It messed up the kernel.
If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it...
...and I'll be the colonel.
What do pirate farmers charge for their corn?
A buccaneer
I love corn!
It's a food that always amaizes me.
What's the difference between a corn husker with epilepsy and a p**... with dysentery?
What's the difference between a corn husker with epilepsy and a p**... with dysentery?
One shucks between fits.
(Corny)-Why did the grave keeper build a fence around the grave yard?
Cuz everyone was dying to get in.
(Corny)-What do you call a mermaid on a roof?
Aerial
What do you say when you get cornered by a gang of Italian prostitutes?
"Uh-oh, spaghetti h**...!"
Just overheard a young boy tell his friend this joke
What do you call a corn dog with no legs?
A *corn dog*, s**...! Corn dogs don't have legs!
Why wouldn't Dolores let William eat the corn?
Because the maize isn't meant for him.
Oil
If:
Peanut oil is made from peanuts.
Olive oil is made from olives.
Corn oil is made from corn.
Then:
What is baby oil made from?
What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a p**... with dysentery?
The farmer shucks between fits.
A man was in a psych ward for thinking he was a piece of corn.
He was finally cured and set free, but immediatelly came back to the mental hospital trembling in fear. When asked why, he said, "there's a chicken outside."
Doctor: "but sir, you do know you're human right? Not a piece of corn."
Patient: "of course I know that! But does the chicken know?!"
What did the corn chip say to the light bulb?
Are you turned on? Because I'm Frito Lay
What did the baby corn say to its mother?
Where's popcorn?
Was that too corny for you?
My friend made a flute out of a carrot...
It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.
My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.
Why should you never eat Jolly Green Giant vegetables?
Because he always stands over the corn and peas.
h**... h**... h**.......
Corners of Love
I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth...
But unfortunately, the earth is round.
Be sure to always whisper while in a corn maze
The walls have ears.
What did the ear of corn say when he lost his leaves?
Schucks!
If you have an E85 tune on a Cobb accessport
You officially have corn on the cobb
If you made a corn labyrinth in the likeness of a deceased television pitchman...
You'd have a Billy Mays maize maze.
What did the magician say before he turned his assistant into an ear of corn?
Prepare to be a-maize-d
What do you call a potato and an ear of corn in a police car?
Starchy and Husk
What do you call a pirate that sells corn for a dollar?
A buccaneer
How much would a pirate sell corn for?
About a buck an ear.
A genetic botanist doesn't show up to the church picnic.
Her concerned husband finds her in her lab working feverishly on a new pesticide resistant strain of maize.
"Aren't you coming to the congregation picnic?". He asks.
"Screw them and their impossible deadlines! They told me I have until today to get the corn bred!"
What did the baby corn ask his mum?
Where's pop corn?
A corn walks into a bar...
And it says to the bartender:
"Hey, wanna hear a joke?"
The bartender agrees. The corn then asks:
"What did the traffic light say to the car?"
The bartender then says: "What?"
The corn says: "DON'T LOOK! I'M CHANGING!"
The bartender shakes his head in disappointment and says:
"Didn't know what I was expecting."
What did the corn boy say when he lost his kernels?
THIS SHUCKS
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
I'm being stalked!
Why were cornflakes invented joke
Well your favourite morning meal was invented to lower your l**... and stops you from m**... early in the morning.
Vegan witches be like
ear of corn! Eye of Potato!
What rank does Corn have in the Vegetable Army?
Colonel!
I just thought of that while eating popcorn, I hope this hasnt been already posted.
The horse joke - translated
From Bosnia (with love)
A horse walks through a corn field and smokes a cigarette. A cigarette falls and lights a field. The corn starts to pop, and the popcorn is now all over the field.
The horse thinks it is snowing and freezes.
Went to the corner store...
Bought four corners
What did baby corn said to momma corn?
Where is popcorn?
I was going to tell a joke about a corn eyeball...
But it just keeps getting cornea and cornea
What's the difference between an epileptic corn schucker and a p**... with diarrhea?
One schucks between fits.......
I'll see myself out......
Who is the leader of the corn army?
The kernal.
I had a joke about what happens to corn in the digestive system.
But it's recycled.
